Question:
Hey there ((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))) I am so proud of you honey, what you have done on that telephone took so much strength and you made it through, Well done:))))) At the end of the hour and forty five minutes though you dealing with very difficult issues, you were still there and still holding that phone. Oh yes, if you are accepted I think this will be a wonderful adventure for you 
)) You will be in my thoughts and I hope the waiting will not be too long. It makes my heart sing that you are here. Love You Penny — The shell must break before the bird can fly ~ Alfred Lord Tennyson
Response:
Butterflies, I’m so proud of you! Do something nice for yourself, you deserve it! speck Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
(((((((((( Butterflies ))))))))))) I am so sorry sweetie. Please hang in there things will get better, ok? I love you very much, im always here for you. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers with Renfrew- good luck sweets. Please don’t give uip, I beleive in you so, so very much. I know you can do this. Take care of yourself please. I’m glad that you treated yourself to a movie- I LOVE that movie! How did you like it?! :O) Well hang in there, I’m here for you.. (((((( big hugs )))))))) all my love, Stephie
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – …Butterflies disintegrates and sobs for at least an hour straight during the Renfrew assessment. The woman on the phone was very nice and understanding, but I cried so hard, sometimes I could barely speak. She brought up the PTSD issues, flashbacks, I was reliving it there on the phone. My nose ran and ran and then stopped up so bad I couldn’t even breathe and was talking funny. Waves of emotion from the past hit me like a tsunami and the tears flowed. The whole conversation lasted about an hour and fourty-five mintues, with me crying during most of it. Fortunately, I was able to tell her most of what she needed to know. I just get so confused about time and that frustrates me. I feel like an idiot. I’m lucky to remember what happened this morning, and she wanted to know when this was and when that was, and I just had to guess. But she stayed calm and patient. I get lab work done on Friday, someone else is going to check on the insurance again, the woman I spoke with (Lauren, and I have BAD LUCK with anyone called "Laurie," but she was nice) is supposed to call me back about something later in the week. Have no idea when I find out if I am actually going. They have to decide, it has to be worked out with insurance, and I don’t know what else. But if all that red tape works out, I am going. If I am left with the decision, if everything else goes through, I am getting on that plane. Hey, it’ll be an adventure. Right? So I was exhausted. Completely drained. Still a bit numb today, although I don’t know if it’s from the phone conversation or just me. Once I’ve sobbed my brains out, I usually recover pretty quickly and feel better, but I was still a bit rattled after the conversation. Pushed it away and tried not to think about it. But the memories…they’ve been activated again and are hanging around. UGH. Vacuumed my bedroom with vigor at 11:30 PM last night and then treated myself to a movie I had rented, "The Talented Mr. Ripley." Went to bed about 4:30 AM. Woke up with a headache but getting out of the house for my McDonald’s cappuccino made me feel better. And here I am. Love you more than you’ll ever know {{{{{ASED}}}}}, Butterflies ~In the event of rapture, this account will be unmanned.
Response:
oh, you made it! i’m soooo, soooo sorry that the phone appointment was so exhausting and upsetting! i’m sending you virtual hugs right now to help make up for the pain!!! on the positive side, it sounds like things went well. it sounds like you expressed what you needed to on the phone, and that is a great accomplishment. now, if they’ll only let you in . . . ! my fingers and toes are crossed for you! love you, salamandra Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
…Butterflies disintegrates and sobs for at least an hour straight during the Renfrew assessment. The woman on the phone was very nice and understanding, but I cried so hard, sometimes I could barely speak. She brought up the PTSD issues, flashbacks, I was reliving it there on the phone. My nose ran and ran and then stopped up so bad I couldn’t even breathe and was talking funny. Waves of emotion from the past hit me like a tsunami and the tears flowed. The whole conversation lasted about an hour and fourty-five mintues, with me crying during most of it. Fortunately, I was able to tell her most of what she needed to know. I just get so confused about time and that frustrates me. I feel like an idiot. I’m lucky to remember what happened this morning, and she wanted to know when this was and when that was, and I just had to guess. But she stayed calm and patient. I get lab work done on Friday, someone else is going to check on the insurance again, the woman I spoke with (Lauren, and I have BAD LUCK with anyone called "Laurie," but she was nice) is supposed to call me back about something later in the week. Have no idea when I find out if I am actually going. They have to decide, it has to be worked out with insurance, and I don’t know what else. But if all that red tape works out, I am going. If I am left with the decision, if everything else goes through, I am getting on that plane. Hey, it’ll be an adventure. Right? So I was exhausted. Completely drained. Still a bit numb today, although I don’t know if it’s from the phone conversation or just me. Once I’ve sobbed my brains out, I usually recover pretty quickly and feel better, but I was still a bit rattled after the conversation. Pushed it away and tried not to think about it. But the memories…they’ve been activated again and are hanging around. UGH. Vacuumed my bedroom with vigor at 11:30 PM last night and then treated myself to a movie I had rented, "The Talented Mr. Ripley." Went to bed about 4:30 AM. Woke up with a headache but getting out of the house for my McDonald’s cappuccino made me feel better. And here I am. Love you more than you’ll ever know {{{{{ASED}}}}}, Butterflies ~In the event of rapture, this account will be unmanned.
Response:
{{{{{{{Butterflies}}}}}}} What an exhausting phone call that must’ve been!! I’m glad the woman was so understanding and it really sounds like the result might be good. Let us know when you know more! It was a good idea to treat yourself to a movie, you should do that more often if it cheers you up. Don’t stay up too much though, you deserve a good night’s sleep, too. Take care, Dee
Response:
…the tough get going! And you’ve started just that process! Hey, Butterflies! You made it through the assessment!! Yes, I am sure that it was very difficult, especially with some of the old issues suddenly having to be addressed and spoken about and then the subsequent flashbacks… Renfrew staff would be understanding and able to deal with that, realizing that the assessment process is hard for most people. It’s downright scary in some ways. I am glad that the woman was so patient and kind! Hey, don’t worry about the time thing… I have difficulties too, and many people do, about remembering exactly when such-and-such occurred. Sometimes I can frame it around where I was working at the time or what hospitalization it was at the time, whatever….but that whole timeframe identification is hard to do, so don’t feel bad about that. For just that reason, I have an ongoing computer record of my various hospitalizations and surgeries, etc., so that when I go to a new doc, for instance, I print out a copy of that and can append it to the inevitable forms that new patients are asked to fill out. Assessments are very stressful, and as I mentioned before in email, they also have a way of vividly jolting a person into the realization that this is SERIOUS, this is about major illness and real TREATMENT… What will happen next, as I told you in email, is that there will be consultations with your therapist, psychiatrist and internist, and the Renfrew treatment team will develop a tentative treatment approach based on what you’ve told the assessments coordinator and what has been further learned from the other clinicians on your current home treatment team, and then the lab work will provide additional information. When this is all together, probably even before the lab work component, someone from Renfrew will get on the phone with the insurance company and say what treatment approach they feel is needed for you and the approximate amount of time they think you’ll need to be there, and then after that, depending upon their current census, they’ll contact you and give you an admission date. I know you had mentioned a family vacation that is coming up pretty soon… in the event that Renfrew says that they can admit you earlier than originally suggested, would you be willing and able to forgo the family vacation in order to get right down to FL and begin the treatment? Something to consider, anyway! It may be that they’d say that there will be a bed opening up the very week that your family vacation has been scheduled, and if Renfrew deemed this to be a situation of some urgency that you get into treatment promptly, you might need to make a decision and act upon it. Hang tight, Butterflies! You’ve gotten over one major hurdle…. –Connie — "Starving the flesh wastes the spirit." –Kandis Elliot
Response:
Butterflies, im glad you were able to cry. Though painful it was likely necessary. And, as Connie said, the reality of the situation may be taking hold. This too is a good thing. Hopefully you’re in the initial stages of a major life- improvement. So, keep holding on for dear life. Scream bloody murder if you have to. Rip your heart out, kiddo… But when the pain and torture and hysteria subside for just an inkling of a second, remind yourself that things ARE going to get easier. sending heaps of love and adoration and respect and Mona Lisa smiles, Meg Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
…Butterflies disintegrates and sobs for at least an hour straight during the Renfrew assessment. … Love you more than you’ll ever know {{{{{ASED}}}}}, Butterflies
Hi Butterflies, I’m glad you had the asssessment. I hope you are able to go to treatment. Good job for taking steps to help yourself. Kevin
Response:
((((((((Butterflies))))))))…. My friend, my heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry you are going through so much. I know the talk with Renfrew was not easy what so ever. But it is OK if you cried. All of this is very emotional, so it’s only normal. My very special of thoughts and prayers are with you girly. Please take care of yourself. Ears Fall seven times, stand up eight. -Japanese Proverb
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