Trauma – PTSD » PTSD » When does it end????

When does it end????

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I first started having panic/anxiety attacks 3 years ago, it was not pretty, couldn’t go to work (had to leave a good career behind), couldn’t do much of anything except assume the fetal possition and cry while I shook.  Following the advice of a very good friend, I went to see my doctor and to make a long story short was diagnosed with PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety disorder. Of course, I started therapy and drugs and for a little while started feeling better (at least the anxiety is ynder control).  Now here it is more than 3 years later and I still feel very depressed.  Everytime I see my Psych, she asks me if I want to increase the drugs I’m taking (why she asks me I don’t know, she’s the Psych), but I’m taking so many now I would think they would be doing something. FYI, I take 450 mg effexor, 150 mg Zoloft, 2 mg Klonopin, 20 mg Ritalin, 25 mg Trazadone, every day.  I have yet to experience

the "miracle" of Prozak – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -and the other SSRI’s and new depression drugs.  I feel like a junkie with all the drugs I take every day. I know that being unemployed doesn’t help at all, but finding a job is tough, I’m 46 and think there is some covert age discrimination going on.  I continously hear over-qualified, or not enough experience. I’ve about given up looking for a job because its to depressing, every time I look in the Sunday paper and don’t see anything that I can send a resume in for, I feel like shit.  Luckily, I’m still on Unemployment after getting laid off in May (company left town) so financially we’re doing ok and the wife is working. I have actually been looking for a job since June (1999) and have had precious few interviews and no offers. Thoughts of suicide are a constant companion, not really thoughts, more imagery.  I know that where there’s life, there’s hope, but there is precious little hope left in me.  My wife has been a great help through the whole thing and I know that she really loves me and she is a huge comfort when I feel this low. I don’t know how much longer I can live like this, I need to feel better about myself and my place in the world.  I don’t even know how to define myself anymore.  I used to (before my meltdown) think I was a pretty together guy, had goals, was working towards meeting those goals, enjoyed life.  Now I feel like my goals are unachievable so why bother to set any I’m too late/old. averysad Bill

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Response:

I have a good idea where you coming from.  I am 40, been on all tthe drugs you mentioned plus some.  Started ECT a few months ago when i admitted myself to the psych hospital.  I am only taking 2 drugs at present Celexa and Lorazapam.  I still can’t see an end in sight.  KIM

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I first started having panic/anxiety attacks 3 years ago, it was not pretty, couldn’t go to work (had to leave a good career behind), couldn’t do much of anything except assume the fetal possition and cry while I shook. Following the advice of a very good friend, I went to see my doctor and to make a long story short was diagnosed with PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety disorder. Of course, I started therapy and drugs and for a little while started feeling better (at least the anxiety is ynder control).  Now here it is more than 3 years later and I still feel very depressed.  Everytime I see my Psych, she asks me if I want to increase the drugs I’m taking (why she asks me I don’t know, she’s the Psych), but I’m taking so many now I would think they would be doing something. FYI, I take 450 mg effexor, 150 mg Zoloft, 2 mg Klonopin, 20 mg Ritalin, 25 mg Trazadone, every day.  I have yet to experience the "miracle" of Prozak and the other SSRI’s and new depression drugs.  I feel like a junkie with all the drugs I take every day. I know that being unemployed doesn’t help at all, but finding a job is tough, I’m 46 and think there is some covert age discrimination going on. I continously hear over-qualified, or not enough experience.  I’ve about given up looking for a job because its to depressing, every time I look in the Sunday paper and don’t see anything that I can send a resume in for, I feel like shit.  Luckily, I’m still on Unemployment after getting laid off in May (company left town) so financially we’re doing ok and the wife is working. I have actually been looking for a job since June (1999) and have had precious few interviews and no offers. Thoughts of suicide are a constant companion, not really thoughts, more imagery.  I know that where there’s life, there’s hope, but there is precious little hope left in me.  My wife has been a great help through the whole thing and I know that she really loves me and she is a huge comfort when I feel this low. I don’t know how much longer I can live like this, I need to feel better about myself and my place in the world.  I don’t even know how to define myself anymore.  I used to (before my meltdown) think I was a pretty together guy, had goals, was working towards meeting those goals, enjoyed life.  Now I feel like my goals are unachievable so why bother to set any I’m too late/old. averysad Bill

Response:

Everytime I see my Psych, she asks me if I want to increase the drugs I’m taking (why she asks me I don’t know, she’s the Psych)….

Does this tell you anything important?? Sincerely Stewart — The Metaphor Man  *and*  The Great Defender of the Self (remove the SPAMBLOCK) Please send me an e-mail copy of your posted response.

Response:

I first started having panic/anxiety attacks 3 years ago, it was not pretty, couldn’t go to work (had to leave a good career behind), couldn’t do much of anything except assume the fetal possition and cry while I shook.  Following the advice of a very good friend, I went to see my doctor and to make a long story short was diagnosed with PTSD, Depression, and Anxiety disorder. Of course, I started therapy and drugs and for a little while started feeling better (at least the anxiety is ynder control).  Now here it is more than 3 years later and I still feel very depressed.  Everytime I see my Psych, she asks me if I want to increase the drugs I’m taking (why she asks me I don’t know, she’s the Psych), but I’m taking so many now I would think they would be doing something. FYI, I take 450 mg effexor, 150 mg Zoloft, 2 mg Klonopin, 20 mg Ritalin, 25 mg Trazadone, every day.  I have yet to experience the "miracle" of Prozak and the other SSRI’s and new depression drugs.  I feel like a junkie with all the drugs I take every day. I know that being unemployed doesn’t help at all, but finding a job is tough, I’m 46 and think there is some covert age discrimination going on.  I continously hear over-qualified, or not enough experience.  I’ve about given up looking for a job because its to depressing, every time I look in the Sunday paper and don’t see anything that I can send a resume in for, I feel like shit.  Luckily, I’m still on Unemployment after getting laid off in May (company left town) so financially we’re doing ok and the wife is working. I have actually been looking for a job since June (1999) and have had precious few interviews and no offers. Thoughts of suicide are a constant companion, not really thoughts, more imagery.  I know that where there’s life, there’s hope, but there is precious little hope left in me.  My wife has been a great help through the whole thing and I know that she really loves me and she is a huge comfort when I feel this low. I don’t know how much longer I can live like this, I need to feel better about myself and my place in the world.  I don’t even know how to define myself anymore.  I used to (before my meltdown) think I was a pretty together guy, had goals, was working towards meeting those goals, enjoyed life.  Now I feel like my goals are unachievable so why bother to set any I’m too late/old. averysad Bill

Response:

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