Question:
Hi Nancy, Mae Tang, everyone. I have to start by saying that this has been bothering me and I feel really bad. I am trying to identify why exactly and it is me… not any of you. I think I was getting too comfortable with opening up and typing stuff and it didn’t even dawn on me until this thread started that my good intentions might possible affect others negatively. I was focusing more on what I felt I could say and describe, myself emotionally, etc. and really didn’t consider it might possibly be recieved completely opposite. I now realise that I should be very careful what I type and there really should be guidelines. I really haven’t meant to hurt or offend anyone in any way… if I have I appologise. Mae Tang, I think your idea is great. Nancy, thank you. I appreciate your feedback and it has explained much clearer what your intentions were and why. Again, I feel a need to say that I do respect your thoughts and feelings and imput within this group and I thank you for shedding some light on an issue(s) that I didn’t see before. Final thought… I would appreciate very much someone going ahead with posting guidelines so that there is no further confusion and misunderstanding in this area in the future. Flame wars or anything resembling them… that is not something that I would personally like to see happen to this group. Take care to all, Patricia. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -ki…@cris.com wrote: > Warning … long post > Ok, I understand that I wasn’t clear … no surprise here. Later, yesterday > became such a grim day that I ‘kicked over the traces’ and went to see a Bruce > Willis movie. A movie can be an easier and nicer way to ’stay in the moment’ > than meditation or aromatherapy. I do recommend the current Willis movie out > (whose name escapes me already 
… it’s a comedy … not as good as most > Moonlighting episodes, but not bad. > OK … we all need to relate. If we have PTSD diagnosed, we all tend to go over > and over the trauma(s) to make some sense out of the primary trauma (which > had/has no sense, at least to me). This reliving of the trauma by recounting it > with people we meet, on the ng or off the ng, is a symptom of PTSD … not a > symptom of _PTSD recovery_ IMO. In order to give up my attempts to make sense > out of an event full of non-sense, I need to discuss the trauma event in > private, with someone trusted who can help my brain ‘get a grip’ on the > event(s). > Until I reach acceptance of the traumatic event and the fact that, although it > was full of non-sense, the trauma was not personal to me (it was personal to the > event or the person who traumatized me), my ‘wanderings in the wilderness’, > repeating my story to one and all, can easily be secondary traumas to others. > Additionally, there is the all-to-human propensity to play comparison games. > "My trauma was so bad that …" "My trauma was worse than yours because …" > "You must not really have PTSD as bad as I do, you can …" In the past, these > games have resulted in major flame wars on this ng. :/ > Thirdly, and this may be unique to me, reading far enough in some posts to find > out that I need to _not read_ the posts has provided me with more than one > potential (sometimes actual) secondary trauma on this ng. > What is a secondary trauma, you may ask? I’m not sure what the official > definition is, but my body’s definition is involved with reactions of horror and > disgust at what happened, and painful empathy with the poster. Secondary > traumas tend to bring back the fight or flight mechanism and raise my own stress > hormones inside me. These reinforce my body’s memory of the primary trauma … > which is not what I need to do in PTSD recovery. > I was and am not trying to tell anyone what to post. I was not and am not > pointing any finger(s) at anyone. Over the last month several folks have > started down the path of ‘what was your trauma?’ and ‘my trauma was …’. > So far, flame wars have been avoided, thank goodness. I’m not so sure about > secondary traumas being avoided; I know that some of the posts have been very > physically painful for me to read. > Many of the recent posts have been wonderful. In reality to me, when we stand > back from our symptoms and look at them from an outside viewpoint, and we can, > at least, smile about them, then we are on the road to acceptance and PTSD > recovery. And, finding out that many of my silly symptoms are shared by others > in the same PTSD boat has been entertaining as well as illuminating. > Hypervigilance is a PTSD symptom. Reading a post and deciding that the post is > personally directed at me when my name is not mentioned can be construed as > hypervigilance. > Although I have no ‘right’ to act as the conscience of the group, I really meant > to point out some pitfalls that some of the posts have been pointed towards. No > one else was mentioning them and not everyone has been here when those who were > being stalked, sued and otherwise harassed on this ng fled, some in agony. > Do as you wish … it’s your life. > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy > <ki…@cris.com> wrote in message news:8aj4t6$96t@chronicle.concentric.net… > > In one or more threads, there has been the question such as: > > Do you mind telling me about your experiences > > with trauma? Just wondering how our experiences are similar or different. > > This idea comes up cyclically in this ng.:/ > > Due to legal ramifications as well as the absolute fact that we need to > remember > > that we are more than our trauma, I do not believe that this is a good thread > or > > topic for this ng. Please consider taking these questions, if necessary, to > > private email. > > We have not been able to set up a faq for this ng as some of the symptoms of > > PTSD include: > > lack of boundaries > > feelings of inappropriate shame > > reliving our traumas in our head (we all have secondary traumas as well as > > the primary trauma) > > habits of manipulation of ourselves, others and our environments > > If we were to set up a faq, I believe that the discussion of our primary > and/or > > secondary traumas is not productive and perhaps dangerous. > > Some of us are in the middle of legal battles, some are attempting to post > > anonymously due to stalking … the reasons go on and on. > > YMMV > > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > > Nancy
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Response:
Hi Nancy, I’m a little confused- I don’t know that Patricia posted a question asking who experienced what trauma. I asked someone a similar question on the newgsroup- it was not my intention to offend or open up any unhealed wounds and I respect individuals if they do not wish to share their trauma experience(s) with me. My intention was to find some common ground with other members of the group and not have to feel so alone in dealing with my own trauma. I find it hard to get support from friends and family outside of this newsgroup, I feel like it is safer for me to share my experiences here where people understand what it is like to deal with PTSD. Sorry if I offended anyone. Best, Amy
Response:
I’d have to agree with Lea15 that details of our traumas in general shared on the ng are fine.It is best for me to leave disclosures of a sensitive and intimate nature to the sessions I have with my therapist.I think that sometimes people email privately to take up more intimate discussion. Like you say we have different perceptions and it also depends on what is happening on the day for each and every one of us.iesymptoms being experienced or ptsd flare ups etc. thanx helski <gem…@trial.freedom.net> wrote in message
news:scrd82ata5n86@corp.supernews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Lea15, > I am curious because what you say makes sense… everyone’s perception of detail > differs I think and I am wondering if maybe some things I have typed may be > percieved as being in detail even if I have found them lacking in detail. The > last thing I want is to have my messages "trigger" or affect others negatively. > For example, does anyone find my message of the rapes detailed? I didn’t but > like I said everyone’s perception is different and I would like to make sure > that when I am typing something with good intentions that it doesn’t have the > opposite affect for others. > I think it is very important to get feedback here so Lea15 and anyone esle… > comments please. > Take care to all, > Patricia. > Lea15 wrote: > > i think we can all share middle ground without going into detail > > about our traumas. general details are fine but intimate > > details can be traumatizing in and of itself. i know a lot of > > the programs i’ve been in (inpatient and out-) emphasize not > > going into detail about trauma except with your individual > > therapist. it is one thing to say you were abused by your > > exhusband or as a child and quite another to talk in detail > > about what happened. i’m not directing this to anyone in > > particular-in fact i can’t even remember right now whether > > anyone has gone into detail (i think some have but i haven’t a > > clue right now who that would be. my swiss cheese memory > > strikes again). > > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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Response:
I know I dont know what all of you have been through, but my trauma has absolutely nothing that could hurt anyone else at all, unless you are an animal person, like me, or a horsewoman, like my mother was. I saw my mother break her neck, and I saw a horse that had been my pet all of my life with compound fractures of both of his front legs, and I saw him put to sleep, as I heard the paramedics whispering that my mother’s neck was broken, and her arm and her leg, and that if was very bad, and they started using codes on their radios that sounded like the bad ones on tv. I dont think this could have any legal problems for anyone. It was an accident. It was not a crime.. I need to talk about this, and I have worn my friends ears off, and my docs are nice, but I still cant seem to get them to understand, I have never seen that much,,, oh well i dont want to get gross, cause I have been taking Xanax as often as I can today, they are starting the Derby Preps, and I had a friend ask me if I wanted to go to Keeneland, I live in Lexington,Kentucky, and I just freaked out, and I would love to go and see the beautiful race horses like I used to do every year, but I just cant yet. and it has been almost two years, and I get so scared that I am never going to get over this. Im sorry Im rambling, I need to just go on and try to go to bed. Thank you all for being here, Claudia
Response:
Hi Nancy, I posted a reply to you last night but it must not have gone through because I don’t see it. Anyway, I was saying- I don’t know that Patricia posted such a question asking people about their experiences with trauma. I asked someone a similar question. My intention in doing so was not to offend or open up any old wounds, my intention was to find some common ground with this other member of the newsgroup. I feel pretty alone in dealing with my trauma, friends and family don’t understand or don’t know what to say- here I feel more freedom to talk about my experiences and find others who know what it’s like to go through PTSD. If people don’t wish to respond to my questions or wish to respond through private e-mail, I understand and respect their decisions. Sorry if I created any misunderstanding or upset anyone. Thanks, Amy
Response:
On 13 Mar 2000 11:27:18 EST, <ki…@cris.com> wrote: >If we were to set up a faq, I believe that the discussion of our primary and/or >secondary traumas is not productive and perhaps dangerous.
I think… it’s easier and more productive for some people to talk about the details than for others. I can see that it’s not helpful in certain circumstances (the legal and stalking situations which you mentioned), and that some folks might not feel comfortable talking about such details. OTOH, at times it may be a relief to be able to talk about the details for some folks. I have the feeling that if any group of people would understand at least a little of what I’ve been through, this group would be it. I know that I’ve not always had an easy time trying to explain my trauma to other people. One time while I was talking about what was probably one of the most terrifying parts of that, the other party just "tuned out" and changed the subject, leaving me hanging and feeling like I was a total alien. Things like that haven’t helped me to value and dignify my own responses. Respectfully, I’d suggest that if there were an FAQ, it might say something along the lines of: "While some people may feel relatively comfortable discussing their primary and secondary traumas, not everyone will wish to do this. This could be because they are still trying to deal with legal aspects of their traumas, or because they don’t wish to be identified (for instance, in case they are stalked, or in case a perpetrator or abuser could use the newsgroup to locate them.) Because of those reasons, it could be worthwhile exercising some discretion when requesting that people should share the details of their traumas on the newsgroup. Some folks find it helpful to recount their experiences, but other people might not for any number of personal reasons. To some extent, it may be best to wait until the other person voluntarily talks about such details, instead of requesting them." Would that help to clarify things? It would also be relatively simple to append another paragraph to that, explaining the use of spoilers and the x-archive. I am willing, if folks feel that it would be helpful, to try writing a kind of short FAQ on those subjects. I would post the drafts so everyone could give comments, suggestions, etc, before finalising it. I’ve written and maintained FAQs for one other newsgroup, and would also be willing to post such an FAQ here on a regular basis, or place it on a webpage and then post the URL for referance. What do y’all think? Is it worth a try? Mae Tang (replace "nospam" with "nu-it" for a valid e-mail address) The Scampering Rat Page http://www.nu-it.demon.co.uk/scamp/
Response:
Warning … long post Ok, I understand that I wasn’t clear … no surprise here. Later, yesterday became such a grim day that I ‘kicked over the traces’ and went to see a Bruce Willis movie. A movie can be an easier and nicer way to ’stay in the moment’ than meditation or aromatherapy. I do recommend the current Willis movie out (whose name escapes me already … it’s a comedy … not as good as most Moonlighting episodes, but not bad. OK … we all need to relate. If we have PTSD diagnosed, we all tend to go over and over the trauma(s) to make some sense out of the primary trauma (which had/has no sense, at least to me). This reliving of the trauma by recounting it with people we meet, on the ng or off the ng, is a symptom of PTSD … not a symptom of _PTSD recovery_ IMO. In order to give up my attempts to make sense out of an event full of non-sense, I need to discuss the trauma event in private, with someone trusted who can help my brain ‘get a grip’ on the event(s). Until I reach acceptance of the traumatic event and the fact that, although it was full of non-sense, the trauma was not personal to me (it was personal to the event or the person who traumatized me), my ‘wanderings in the wilderness’, repeating my story to one and all, can easily be secondary traumas to others. Additionally, there is the all-to-human propensity to play comparison games. "My trauma was so bad that …" "My trauma was worse than yours because …" "You must not really have PTSD as bad as I do, you can …" In the past, these games have resulted in major flame wars on this ng. :/ Thirdly, and this may be unique to me, reading far enough in some posts to find out that I need to _not read_ the posts has provided me with more than one potential (sometimes actual) secondary trauma on this ng. What is a secondary trauma, you may ask? I’m not sure what the official definition is, but my body’s definition is involved with reactions of horror and disgust at what happened, and painful empathy with the poster. Secondary traumas tend to bring back the fight or flight mechanism and raise my own stress hormones inside me. These reinforce my body’s memory of the primary trauma … which is not what I need to do in PTSD recovery. I was and am not trying to tell anyone what to post. I was not and am not pointing any finger(s) at anyone. Over the last month several folks have started down the path of ‘what was your trauma?’ and ‘my trauma was …’. So far, flame wars have been avoided, thank goodness. I’m not so sure about secondary traumas being avoided; I know that some of the posts have been very physically painful for me to read. Many of the recent posts have been wonderful. In reality to me, when we stand back from our symptoms and look at them from an outside viewpoint, and we can, at least, smile about them, then we are on the road to acceptance and PTSD recovery. And, finding out that many of my silly symptoms are shared by others in the same PTSD boat has been entertaining as well as illuminating. Hypervigilance is a PTSD symptom. Reading a post and deciding that the post is personally directed at me when my name is not mentioned can be construed as hypervigilance. Although I have no ‘right’ to act as the conscience of the group, I really meant to point out some pitfalls that some of the posts have been pointed towards. No one else was mentioning them and not everyone has been here when those who were being stalked, sued and otherwise harassed on this ng fled, some in agony. Do as you wish … it’s your life. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -<ki…@cris.com> wrote in message news:8aj4t6$96t@chronicle.concentric.net… > In one or more threads, there has been the question such as: > Do you mind telling me about your experiences > with trauma? Just wondering how our experiences are similar or different. > This idea comes up cyclically in this ng.:/ > Due to legal ramifications as well as the absolute fact that we need to remember > that we are more than our trauma, I do not believe that this is a good thread or > topic for this ng. Please consider taking these questions, if necessary, to > private email. > We have not been able to set up a faq for this ng as some of the symptoms of > PTSD include: > lack of boundaries > feelings of inappropriate shame > reliving our traumas in our head (we all have secondary traumas as well as > the primary trauma) > habits of manipulation of ourselves, others and our environments > If we were to set up a faq, I believe that the discussion of our primary and/or > secondary traumas is not productive and perhaps dangerous. > Some of us are in the middle of legal battles, some are attempting to post > anonymously due to stalking … the reasons go on and on. > YMMV > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy
Response:
I’ve written about my experience with a drunk driver. Does anyone get disoriented at times? (ie, when your symptoms are around). I get to where I can’t find my car in parking lots and give people the wrong forms to sign….irritating. Jeff – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -LuanneP wrote: > > am confused too. I am still waiting to hear back from Nancy. All I can > >say, speaking for myself, is that I have not been offended by such > I’m pretty much an open book. I have talked freely on this newsgroup about my > own trauma, even though I have continually been made fun of by some of the > trolls on here. Personally, speaking for myself, I don’t care, BUT, some who > post their inner-most feelings and speak of their traumas freely might find it > upsetting, should what happened to me, happens to them. > If you feel comfortable, post. If not, then don’t. You don’t HAVE to post > anything on a public newsgroup that you don’t want to. > Best, > Luanne
Response:
Hi Jeff! > Does anyone get disoriented at times? (ie, when your symptoms > are around). I get to where I can’t find my car in parking lots and > give people the wrong forms to sign….irritating.
Of course! However, this disorientation may not necessarily be a ptsd symptom. In my case, these events seem to be more associated with anxiety, and my feeble attempts to deal with it. IOW, my keys are always lost because I do not focus on where I put them at the time I laid them down, and I have not established a ritual place for them. I lost my car for 20 minutes in a huge parking lot in January. I knew where it was, but when I went to get it, I was so anxious that I started to dissociate when I didn’t see it immedicately. The dissociation reaction is the ptsd symptom. The loosing stuff is lack of focus. Getting from lack of focus to dissociation is the reason for meds, therapy etc. :/ YMMV Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
I had bad problems with memory/orientation for a while; now it just happens occasionally. I have chronic ptsd which was diagnosed after 12 years. <2cr…@macrevolution.com> wrote in message
news:38e9073e_3@news.sisna.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> In article <38DAF836.A2149…@pacbell.net>, Jeff <sixbr…@pacbell.net> > wrote: > > I’ve written about my experience with a drunk driver. > > Does anyone get disoriented at times? (ie, when your symptoms > > are around). I get to where I can’t find my car in parking lots and > > give people the wrong forms to sign….irritating. > > Jeff > Most certainly. I find it really embarrassing when I try to put my key > in someone else’s car that is in the place where I "thought" I parked > last time. I will totally space the time after that when I parked > across the lot or in back. I hope I never do that with a car that has > an alarm because I’m automatically ready to blame myself even if I know > I am innocent. I always feel guilty no matter what the circumstances. > I forget the day of appointments or the time or lists to help me > remember what to do. Last week, I told my son’s therapist to hold onto > the check for two more days (Friday) because of low funds and forgot > that it was already Thursday. I blame that on working one night on a > different shift and sleeping the next day which messed me up. (right) > I blame mine partly on dissociation, partly because of the depression > and partly because of the "change". (guess I’d better get those one a > day vitamins for memory 
> Linda > — > x-no-archive: yes is in the headers of all my posts > I haven’t lost my mind – It’s backed up on tape somewhere…
Response:
I recognise your memory problems. I have described it as the traumatic events take up so much of my thinking space there is no space for anything else. A psychologist helped me with this explanation. I told him whenever I put down my glasses or my keys or anything else, I forget where I put them. He told me that when I do these things my mind isnt on them because its on the event or in an away state and the only way to stop it was to "come out of it" and be there when I was doing these things. I found I remembered this and it gave me some control. I also found propranalol (beta blocker) helps and anti-depressant, Serzone/ estelle
Response:
On Mon, 13 Mar 2000 22:39:26 -0600, gem…@trial.freedom.net wrote:
Hi Patricia, >last thing I want is to have my messages "trigger" or affect others negatively.
If in doubt, when describing someting which you feel could potentially act as a trigger to another reader, you can add in "spoiler space" in your message, and also mention "SPOILER: this may contain trigger for some" in your subject line. What that does is it enables folks to decide if they feel able to read the details. If (for instance) someone is having a fragile day, they might not feel secure reading details. But, other people might react differently, finding that they can relate to your experiences productively. I’ll just give an example of a "spoiler space", in case that helps. SPOILER SPACE starts here. Scroll down to continue. | | | | | | | | | | | | | You kind of guestimate and leave enough room in the message so that it would prevent any details from showing up on the first screen or so (try to bear in mind that different newsreaders have different sized screen windows, but even a small spoiler space should be enough to alert anyone feeling fragile.) HTH. Mae Tang (replace "nospam" with "nu-it" for a valid e-mail address) The Scampering Rat Page http://www.nu-it.demon.co.uk/scamp/
Response:
Hi Patricia! Thank you for your kind words. But, criminetly (how does one spell that word?), pleeeeease stop hitting yourself for some possible error in posting. There are no errors on this ng (other than spam) as far as I am concerned. There are things to think about when posting, that’s all. > Final thought… I would appreciate very much someone going ahead with posting > guidelines so that there is no further confusion and misunderstanding in this area > in the future. Flame wars or anything resembling them… that is not something that > I would personally like to see happen to this group.
Me too! BHST (been here seen that) I believe that the only universally accepted guideline here has been to be as gentle among ourselves as possible. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
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> am confused too. I am still waiting to hear back from Nancy. All I can >say, speaking for myself, is that I have not been offended by such
I’m pretty much an open book. I have talked freely on this newsgroup about my own trauma, even though I have continually been made fun of by some of the trolls on here. Personally, speaking for myself, I don’t care, BUT, some who post their inner-most feelings and speak of their traumas freely might find it upsetting, should what happened to me, happens to them. If you feel comfortable, post. If not, then don’t. You don’t HAVE to post anything on a public newsgroup that you don’t want to. Best, Luanne
Response:
Hi Nancy, I understand what you have said here. I believe it is an individual choice what or how questions are answered. Certainly for those who are dealing with legal issues or are being stalked etc. should coose very wisely what they type. Speaking striclty for myself, I am not dealing with any of those issues and feel it is important for my recovery process to express and release facts and feelings that I have kept inside and struggled with for far too long. I think your suggestions and ideas for being able to discuss "dangerous" topics safely are great. As you have pointed out, there are people in this group that could certainly benefit from them. Remembering that everyone here is different but can relate many ways at the same time is important. I hope you do well with your suggestions and I wish you the best, Take care, Patricia. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -ki…@cris.com wrote: > In one or more threads, there has been the question such as: > Do you mind telling me about your experiences > with trauma? Just wondering how our experiences are similar or different. > This idea comes up cyclically in this ng.:/ > Due to legal ramifications as well as the absolute fact that we need to remember > that we are more than our trauma, I do not believe that this is a good thread or > topic for this ng. Please consider taking these questions, if necessary, to > private email. > We have not been able to set up a faq for this ng as some of the symptoms of > PTSD include: > lack of boundaries > feelings of inappropriate shame > reliving our traumas in our head (we all have secondary traumas as well as > the primary trauma) > habits of manipulation of ourselves, others and our environments > If we were to set up a faq, I believe that the discussion of our primary and/or > secondary traumas is not productive and perhaps dangerous. > Some of us are in the middle of legal battles, some are attempting to post > anonymously due to stalking … the reasons go on and on. > YMMV > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy
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Response:
Hi Nancy, Hmmm…. after re-reading your message I realise that I misunderstood it the first time around. I have a few questions. Do you feel that those of us who speak of our trauma, or wish to work towards speaking of it and working through it, are creating a danger for those going through legal issues, being stalked etc.? or are you referring strictly to those with issues such as the above? I don’t recall myself asking someone what their trauma was but I feel it is strictly up to each individual to make the decission to share that experience or not. Like I mentioned in my previous message I don’t have any issues and feel that it is important to be able to talk about everything, including my trauma. That is why I would like to clarify more specifically what you meant and who exactly. I can respect, and do respect, your rights and opinions on such matters and I certainly don’t want to see any "dangerous" consequences for anyone in this group due to talking or asking about their trauma. I would like to undertsand the specifics of your message better. I don’t want to misunderstand or take it the wrong way but as it stands I can’t help but get the feeling that it is directed towards everyone in the group, including myself, and I can’t come up with any way that my talking about my trauma would affect the people with issues such as legal, being stalked etc. I am not typing this out of anger, I do respect your rights and opinions, but I feel a strong need to express the fact that the way I have taken it has made me feel a bit like you are influencing (for lack of a better word) your opinions on me. I definately realise that I am more tham just my trauma, however, I feel very strongly that it is the core of all of my issues and it is necessary to deal with it in any way I feel capable. I try to be very careful with how I word things, I do not wish to offend anyone and I am sensitive to others feelings etc. I don’t know how else to have worded this messag and it is really not my intention to offend you in any way. I hope you have taken it the way it was intended . I look forward to recieving a better understanding of your message, Take care, Patricia. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -ki…@cris.com wrote: > In one or more threads, there has been the question such as: > Do you mind telling me about your experiences > with trauma? Just wondering how our experiences are similar or different. > This idea comes up cyclically in this ng.:/ > Due to legal ramifications as well as the absolute fact that we need to remember > that we are more than our trauma, I do not believe that this is a good thread or > topic for this ng. Please consider taking these questions, if necessary, to > private email. > We have not been able to set up a faq for this ng as some of the symptoms of > PTSD include: > lack of boundaries > feelings of inappropriate shame > reliving our traumas in our head (we all have secondary traumas as well as > the primary trauma) > habits of manipulation of ourselves, others and our environments > If we were to set up a faq, I believe that the discussion of our primary and/or > secondary traumas is not productive and perhaps dangerous. > Some of us are in the middle of legal battles, some are attempting to post > anonymously due to stalking … the reasons go on and on. > YMMV > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy
___________________________________________________________________________ ___ Total Internet privacy — get your Freedom pseudonym at http://www.freedom.net
Response:
i think we can all share middle ground without going into detail about our traumas. general details are fine but intimate details can be traumatizing in and of itself. i know a lot of the programs i’ve been in (inpatient and out-) emphasize not going into detail about trauma except with your individual therapist. it is one thing to say you were abused by your exhusband or as a child and quite another to talk in detail about what happened. i’m not directing this to anyone in particular-in fact i can’t even remember right now whether anyone has gone into detail (i think some have but i haven’t a clue right now who that would be. my swiss cheese memory strikes again). * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
Hi Amy, I am confused too. I am still waiting to hear back from Nancy. All I can say, speaking for myself, is that I have not been offended by such questions and feel it is helpful to myself as well as others. Everyone is different and I am curious to hear more from Nancy. I have appreciated and respected her input within this group very much… I’m really not sure what more to think until she replies further. Take care, Patricia. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -SwissChsy wrote: > Hi Nancy, > I’m a little confused- I don’t know that Patricia posted a question asking who > experienced what trauma. I asked someone a similar question on the newgsroup- > it was not my intention to offend or open up any unhealed wounds and I respect > individuals if they do not wish to share their trauma experience(s) with me. > My intention was to find some common ground with other members of the group and > not have to feel so alone in dealing with my own trauma. I find it hard to get > support from friends and family outside of this newsgroup, I feel like it is > safer for me to share my experiences here where people understand what it is > like to deal with PTSD. Sorry if I offended anyone. > Best, > Amy
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Response:
Hi Lea15, I am curious because what you say makes sense… everyone’s perception of detail differs I think and I am wondering if maybe some things I have typed may be percieved as being in detail even if I have found them lacking in detail. The last thing I want is to have my messages "trigger" or affect others negatively. For example, does anyone find my message of the rapes detailed? I didn’t but like I said everyone’s perception is different and I would like to make sure that when I am typing something with good intentions that it doesn’t have the opposite affect for others. I think it is very important to get feedback here so Lea15 and anyone esle… comments please. Take care to all, Patricia. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Lea15 wrote: > i think we can all share middle ground without going into detail > about our traumas. general details are fine but intimate > details can be traumatizing in and of itself. i know a lot of > the programs i’ve been in (inpatient and out-) emphasize not > going into detail about trauma except with your individual > therapist. it is one thing to say you were abused by your > exhusband or as a child and quite another to talk in detail > about what happened. i’m not directing this to anyone in > particular-in fact i can’t even remember right now whether > anyone has gone into detail (i think some have but i haven’t a > clue right now who that would be. my swiss cheese memory > strikes again). > * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * > The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
___________________________________________________________________________ ___ Total Internet privacy — get your Freedom pseudonym at http://www.freedom.net
Response:
In one or more threads, there has been the question such as: Do you mind telling me about your experiences with trauma? Just wondering how our experiences are similar or different. This idea comes up cyclically in this ng.:/ Due to legal ramifications as well as the absolute fact that we need to remember that we are more than our trauma, I do not believe that this is a good thread or topic for this ng. Please consider taking these questions, if necessary, to private email. We have not been able to set up a faq for this ng as some of the symptoms of PTSD include: lack of boundaries feelings of inappropriate shame reliving our traumas in our head (we all have secondary traumas as well as the primary trauma) habits of manipulation of ourselves, others and our environments If we were to set up a faq, I believe that the discussion of our primary and/or secondary traumas is not productive and perhaps dangerous. Some of us are in the middle of legal battles, some are attempting to post anonymously due to stalking … the reasons go on and on. YMMV Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
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