Question:
Exactly!! What does happen to all ones friends.My one and only true friend is my husband. Thank God for him. When I was told I had Graves disease and the panic,anxiety and all the other helpness that followed everyone including family ran. I am glad we have the internet so I have people like you who understand when times truly do get tuff …….
Betty
Response:
Hi, Robin, just a couple of thoughts. Yes, I also have lost numerous friends. To a friend who doesn’t understand, the broken appointments at the last minute when panic overwhelms just look like incredibly bad manners. But the friends I have left, who understand, are worth their weight in gold. All your life, you know you will have these great people to be friends with. And you are not alone, besides us here, you have your hubby, your sister, etc. as friends. And I know you will make more friends in the future. I also get tense and panicy about shrink visits. I think this is because some of the coping it trying not to think about what bothers us, and we know at the shrink’s, we will have to face things. But, long term, this is good, because it will help us get out of this mess. Take care, trudy Before you buy.
Response:
Hi Robin I was reading you message and I thought I was reading about myself. Strange but true. I to had many of friends and keeping me down was impossible. I was a lead singer and was surrounded by friends and family all the time, I loved it. UNTILL the nightmare of panic attacks. My life slowly slipped away, depession set in and I give up all hope. I looked from the sidelines of my life, I didn’t feel, I didn’t care and I couldn’t funtion anymore. I had enough so I got help, and help got me this far. You will see yourself there will be rocky roads untill you can accept that this is who you are now, not that you will always feel the way you do right now. You are going to get better, believe in yourself. We all know, we did not do this to ourselves so don’t blame yourself and don’t blame others. I don’t know why, but I believe there is a reason for this. My family always thought I would end up dead if I didn’t calm down. I worked 2 jobs while raising a newborn and the music on the side. My husband unlike yours was not very sympathedic, my brothers and sisters ignore the situation like i’m contagious. My parents call me every morning to check in. We need that sense of securety. Am I babbling? To answer one of you questions, who knows if things are going to be better or the same as they used to be, that all depends on you. I sure as hell an’t gonna sit back and let this demon beat the hell out of me anymore. I started meds 5 days ago and my new attitude is think possitive. I wish you all the strength and motivation on getting well Ttasia * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
Response:
I too used to be the life of the party and constantly on the go until last November when all this hit. I was functioning with difficulty during the holiday season, and come Jan. it became impossible….. I haven’t been to a club or a coffee shop or out to lunch with anyone in about 6 weeks. In that time, only two of my regular friends still email me daily….. they live about 45 miles away…… those here in town, no response to my email or phone calls. I felt a bit hurt, but I also know where to put their friendship… casual aquaintances with whom I can have a good time, but nothing more. I’m lucky because my partner, my sister, my parents, and many of the people I work with would not hesitate to help or call or give the words of support I need. I also know a lot of people are busy. I’ve found that writing letters by hand touches people more than a phone call or email…… I guess something about the time and energy involved. Perhaps some of those busy people you knew you can write to. You’ll get a response or not, and as someone told me, "No answer is an answer". I didn’t like that, but it’s true. Hang in there, and remember we’re just a click away. David
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I don’t really know how to form what has been bugging me all night into a coherent message, but if you will bear with me…I will try. I was always the out and about person…I loved to go dancing..to the movies, out to eat. Our home was always full of our friends that came just to hang out and bullsh*t. Up until the day at work when this horrid ride started, I was the type to go stir crazy after a day at home. I am starting to realize some of my past problems as a part of this total Panic Disorder…being treated for depression before and all of the ‘episodes’ I have had are starting to add up to that "pre-disposed high anxiety personality" that has been shoved in my face since I began this battle. My family has this kind of attitude of "it’s another one of Robin’s ‘problems’ she has"…. I know the difference, and I know the similarities…it just is impossible to explain all of this to them. My friends (most of the people I considered friends) are thinned out to the point that tonight, I was sitting here thinking…I should call someone just to talk..not about my problem…just talk. That was when it hit me. I scrolled through my caller id. It hit me that my world has shrunken to the point that LITERALLY I have more conversations with my husband’s ex-wife (we get along) than I do with the people I considered my best friends. His ex has been great through all of this…she does all of the dropping off and picking up because she knows how hard it is for me to get out of the house some days. Even with things getting a little better lately…she always asks how I am…and honestly listens to the answer. My mother calls on a regular basis…she hears me, but is at a loss for what to say. She wants to rage at the people that aren’t getting me help, but that doesn’t do much to help either. My sister helps by getting groceries and taking them to my dad’s so I can go to one of the places I feel safe to get my groceries (not to mention that she has bought them for us the past two months because we haven’t seen any income for me in 3 months…) also if needed my dad would bring them out to us. So tell me why..when I can sit here and realize how much support I have, and believe me…my husband is my rock..my knight in shining armour…my best friend. Why did it hit me so hard tonight to realize that I have no friends left? I don’t have anyone just to giggle with, or to have come by just to have a coke and chat? My whole interaction with people has been reduced to my online support groups, doctors, lawyers, and bill collectors. Does this get better as I get better at controlling the disorder? Will I ever be who I was before? Can I honestly expect to go back someday and re-gain all of the things I feel I have lost? I can see ways to make this a beginning of a new phase of my life…I am starting to find positive things that could come of it…like going back to school and things like that…but is it realistic to think that all the hell we are going through is going to somehow be a blessing in disguise? Or is that just wishful thinking? Also, I have gotten where I get out some every day (after 3 or 4 months of serious avoidance of leaving the house) but even when I get out…even if I hide it well…I still Panic! Is that the best there is???? Just to control it…does it ever just not happen? I don’t know that there actually are answers to any of the babbling I am doing here…but I felt like venting…so you guys get the best of it from me! I just want some peace from this mess. Work comp, therapy, start with a psychiatrist Friday (which is something that for some reason scares me to death…psychologist..no problem..so why is the psychiatrist scaring me?) after fighting to get this far to get help with the PTSD and Panic…why do I not get relief from knowing that help is coming? Why is it that I am almost more afraid now, than then? I just feel like I am getting better at faking a normal reaction while inside I feel terror. Does this make sense to anyone? I have rambled enough….I hope you all have some peace today Robin R. Williams
Robin, I remember being about 12 and my parents put in a pool. Suddenly I had tons of freinds, pool parties and all that. Well, when we moved into a house without a pool I mostly only heard from the pre-pool friends. I really beleive it is quality not quantity when it comes to friends. It sounds like you have a good freind in your husbands ex. However odd that may seem, be glad that she is there, along with your husband. This hell that you are in right now can, and most likely will get better. Counseling and medication can do wonders if you end up with a good doc. Try not to lose sight of the fact that these things, for me anyway, tend to come in cycles. You can and will get better, I can feel it. Sending positive energy your way……. done. Good luck and dont lose hope. Jon. Before you buy.
Response:
I don’t really know how to form what has been bugging me all night into a coherent message, but if you will bear with me…I will try. I was always the out and about person…I loved to go dancing..to the movies, out to eat. Our home was always full of our friends that came just to hang out and bullsh*t. Up until the day at work when this horrid ride started, I was the type to go stir crazy after a day at home. I am starting to realize some of my past problems as a part of this total Panic Disorder…being treated for depression before and all of the ‘episodes’ I have had are starting to add up to that "pre-disposed high anxiety personality" that has been shoved in my face since I began this battle. My family has this kind of attitude of "it’s another one of Robin’s ‘problems’ she has"…. I know the difference, and I know the similarities…it just is impossible to explain all of this to them. My friends (most of the people I considered friends) are thinned out to the point that tonight, I was sitting here thinking…I should call someone just to talk..not about my problem…just talk. That was when it hit me. I scrolled through my caller id. It hit me that my world has shrunken to the point that LITERALLY I have more conversations with my husband’s ex-wife (we get along) than I do with the people I considered my best friends. His ex has been great through all of this…she does all of the dropping off and picking up because she knows how hard it is for me to get out of the house some days. Even with things getting a little better lately…she always asks how I am…and honestly listens to the answer. My mother calls on a regular basis…she hears me, but is at a loss for what to say. She wants to rage at the people that aren’t getting me help, but that doesn’t do much to help either. My sister helps by getting groceries and taking them to my dad’s so I can go to one of the places I feel safe to get my groceries (not to mention that she has bought them for us the past two months because we haven’t seen any income for me in 3 months…) also if needed my dad would bring them out to us. So tell me why..when I can sit here and realize how much support I have, and believe me…my husband is my rock..my knight in shining armour…my best friend. Why did it hit me so hard tonight to realize that I have no friends left? I don’t have anyone just to giggle with, or to have come by just to have a coke and chat? My whole interaction with people has been reduced to my online support groups, doctors, lawyers, and bill collectors. Does this get better as I get better at controlling the disorder? Will I ever be who I was before? Can I honestly expect to go back someday and re-gain all of the things I feel I have lost? I can see ways to make this a beginning of a new phase of my life…I am starting to find positive things that could come of it…like going back to school and things like that…but is it realistic to think that all the hell we are going through is going to somehow be a blessing in disguise? Or is that just wishful thinking? Also, I have gotten where I get out some every day (after 3 or 4 months of serious avoidance of leaving the house) but even when I get out…even if I hide it well…I still Panic! Is that the best there is???? Just to control it…does it ever just not happen? I don’t know that there actually are answers to any of the babbling I am doing here…but I felt like venting…so you guys get the best of it from me! I just want some peace from this mess. Work comp, therapy, start with a psychiatrist Friday (which is something that for some reason scares me to death…psychologist..no problem..so why is the psychiatrist scaring me?) after fighting to get this far to get help with the PTSD and Panic…why do I not get relief from knowing that help is coming? Why is it that I am almost more afraid now, than then? I just feel like I am getting better at faking a normal reaction while inside I feel terror. Does this make sense to anyone? I have rambled enough….I hope you all have some peace today Robin R. Williams * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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