Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Following on a post I placed a few days ago, I was wondering if would share with me how these walls manifest themselves – Im supposing they can vary greatly. My only wall, was one which severed ALL my love/bond/caring with my girlfriend – as simple as that! Couldnt feel it. Happened subconsciously. How about yours? Lee * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping.  Smart is Beautiful

Response:

Hi Patricia, How do your walls affect you, what have they done, what are the implications for you? Im curious, as Im comparing in a general way, to try and understand them and how they may differ? Like I said, mine was a self protection mechanism/wall to block off love for my girlfriend as I was hurting too much from things that happened to her. So, mine manifested itself by stopping me being able to feel love? Totally subconscious. I never thought anything could fade my love – I WAS WRONG! Im hoping its still there inside me. Take care Patricia Lee * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping.  Smart is Beautiful

Response:

I’ve had different walls…both sub and con. Depending on the issue. Patricia – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Following on a post I placed a few days ago, I was wondering if would share with me how these walls manifest themselves – Im supposing they can vary greatly. My only wall, was one which severed ALL my love/bond/caring with my girlfriend – as simple as that! Couldnt feel it. Happened subconsciously. How about yours? Lee * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping.  Smart is Beautiful

Response:

  i think this is my main problem, over the years i’ve built up so many conscious and subconscious walls because of certain events that i can’t get rid of them now, and it’s gotten to point where i wall myself up from everything and feel numb all the time, and can’t function. I think when it first started it was subconscious, and i didn’t know i was doing it, but i think after a time i became aware and could create those walls consciously. I want to get rid of them, but i feel safe with them…it’s a major conflict for me and drives me a bit insane at times.  My counselor and i have just started figuring out ways of breaking them down. It’s going to be hard though because it’s become so easy for me to build up a wall around something if i don’t want to deal with it. -ship – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Following on a post I placed a few days ago, I was wondering if would share with me how these walls manifest themselves – Im supposing they can vary greatly. My only wall, was one which severed ALL my love/bond/caring with my girlfriend – as simple as that! Couldnt feel it. Happened subconsciously. How about yours? Lee * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find

related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping.  Smart is Beautiful

Response:

Hi ship, So what do your walls do, do they stop you feeling certain things or what? How do they effect you? Lee * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping.  Smart is Beautiful

Response:

So what do your walls do, do they stop you feeling certain things or what? How do they effect you?

     i think they each work in different ways, some prevent me from feeling any emotions, such as love, happiness, anger, probably some others as well, and it basically makes me feel numb, empty inside, like i don’t care about anything. while others just prevent me from dealing with whatever i have to deal with at the time, kind of like a if you can’t see it, it’s not there sort of thing.   As for how they have affected me, i can’t be positive, as i’m sure these walls have been up for many years and there are other factors involved, but i think they have had something to do with my many failings at work, school, relationships, and perhaps other things, making me ignore or avoid various emotions, problems and situations, which usually makes things worse. I build a wall around things and say i’ll deal with them later, but never get around to dealing with them and they just keep building up, or i just block out a certain emotion…it doesn’t really block it out though, it just keeps it inside and i can’t seem to let them out.  I think when i start to break down these walls, if it is at all possible, that i be careful not to deal with something i’m not ready to yet. It’s like i have a castle inside my head and parts of it have been closed off, sometimes for years…i really don’t want to go exploring in the towers and dungeons, but it would probably be for the best if i did and take care of whatever is lurking there.  Hmm…i don’t really feel i am explaining it that well…it’s kind of hard for me to describe…dealing with an abstract concept and all.  My thoughts get all jumbled up sometimes and it’s hard for me to collect them enough to make words out of them…that’s another thing i’m working on right now…i have so many other things i am dealing with right now…not only the walls, but also depression, ocd, and possibly ptsd, if not other things as well…i’m trying to learn and figure out more everyday though…i’m open to whatever anyone else has to say though, maybe someone else could describe what their walls are like better than i could describe mine. -ship

Response:

Following on a post I placed a few days ago, I was wondering if would share with me how these walls manifest themselves – Im supposing they can vary greatly. My only wall, was one which severed ALL my love/bond/caring with my girlfriend – as simple as that! Couldnt feel it. Happened subconsciously. How about yours?

My walls protect me when I feel that I’m being attacked.  When I’m in a bad mindset, I feel like I’m being attacked fairly often.   I have two main defensive reflexes (what I call walls) – attack, and apology.  I’ll either snap at somebody unreasoningly, or apologize for everything and make myself feel miserable.   In both cases, not only am I completely unaware that I’m doing it or that it’s not a "normal" reaction, but I get so caught up in the reaction that I usually can’t stop until I’ve left whatever situation caused my defenses to snap up in the first place.  This includes times that I’m not badly depressed, but then it generally takes a much stronger "attack" to spark the defensive reflex. Um.  I hope that may have helped a little bit, somehow. — Elynne

Response:

I need walls that I do not have.  I’ve tried to build them, but they shatter.       Toci * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – x-no-archive: yes Van: waxwabbit < Following on a post I placed a few days ago, I was wondering if would share with me how these walls manifest themselves – Im supposing they can vary greatly. My only wall, was one which severed ALL my love/bond/caring with my girlfriend – as simple as that! Couldnt feel it. Happened subconsciously. How about yours? I would like to have more walls. Too many things just walk right in.

No kidding.  I think, if I had more walls, every single thing anyone says to me, or every look I see, or sound I hear wouldn’t make me feel like a total shit.  Ok, not *everything*, but an awful lot.  If I could put up walls, bounce stuff off of it, it’d be a lot easier to feel better.  Or maybe just numb, which would practically be as good.

Response:

Hi Ship, How do you seperate your walls from symptoms of depression? take care Lee * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping.  Smart is Beautiful

Response:

Hi Dan, Ive had the feeling of numb and I couldnt stand it – even though at the time I didnt really care. But I guess thats my own circumstances speaking Lee * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping.  Smart is Beautiful

Response:

ouch…too hard to answer right now. sasha – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Following on a post I placed a few days ago, I was wondering if would share with me how these walls manifest themselves – Im supposing they can vary greatly. My only wall, was one which severed ALL my love/bond/caring with my girlfriend – as simple as that! Couldnt feel it. Happened subconsciously. How about yours? Lee

Response:

me too, i’d rather be up or down, the numbness was killing me. ed Hi Dan, Ive had the feeling of numb and I couldnt stand it – even though at the time I didnt really care. But I guess thats my own circumstances speaking Lee * Sent from AltaVista http://www.altavista.com Where you can also find

related Web Pages, Images, Audios, Videos, News, and Shopping.  Smart is Beautiful

Response:

Related Posts