Question:
I’ve been here only a month and while the original post that started this mess did upset and discourage me I have not quit nor will I. I have found too much help and understanding here to quit because of one person’s opinion. Welcome to all newbies!!!On Tue, 28 Sep – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -(From soapbox) Hi all 
For the sake of the feeling of *safety* at ASAP I would like to request everybody to stop posting about what Steph said earlier. It seems that all points of view have been explained and we seem to only repeat ourselves now. IMO it would be best to take further controversies on this subject to private email in order to go on with what all of us do best: sharing information and knowledge and supporting each other when we can. ASAP has been almost totally *flameless* for months now and it’s been a delight to be here AFAIC (if we would find *Da Cure* and no one of us would still have an anxiety disorder I still would miss you!). Let’s get back to that. Philip (off soapbox)
Evelyn Check out my woodcarving site at: http://home.swbell.net/lbiggio
Response:
::snipped for space:: Phillip’s excellent post hit a *nerve* with me. (No pun intended. *g*) Speaking from personal experience, I must say that when I first *delurked* and posted here, I received so much positive support from all of you, both via posts and even some private e-mail messages. It felt great. (Thank you!!!). Yet, another part of me noticed that obvious rapport between the regulars. And, as much as I hate to sound petty and admit it, something about that bothered me. It shouldn’t have, but did.
I have to admit that this was my experience also. I think in my case it brought back a lot of old feelings of not being included in the "in" crowd, as well as feeling like I may be forcing myself onto people who would rather not include me. IMHO, it’s just as anxiety provoking to enter a chat or a newsgroup as it is to enter a crowded room of unfamiliar people! I’ve been here for 6 months now, on and off, and feel like this forum is an important part of my life, whether I post or not. I’ve been keeping up with my reading however. And to be honest, I’ve truly missed interacting with you great folks. While *away* I was doing some serious pondering about what it was that was bothering me about things on here. I’m only speaking for myself but I think that I did indeed feel *left out*, in some slightly inexplicable way.
I found the regular posting of ASAP guidelines to be helpful. I had NO idea what all of these acronyms meant… and the inside banter was very intimidating. Here I am at 42. Pretty childish thing to feel. BUT it all finally fit into place. It’s the self esteem issue. For many of us who have had PD for many years, our self esteem is not up to par. Again, not rational, but it’s a fact of life for many of us. I also came to realize that as soon as the welcomes slowed down and a few of the comments about my long posts continued, my catastrophic thinking kicked in. The good news is that via a little time and a lot of self talk, I’m back. This thing we call anxiety has been with me for over half my life and I want to be here. I deserve to be here. I want to help others whenever I can. And occasionally, I’m going to ask for support myself.
Well said. And I share your experience. I’m glad that you are back John. I think I am too. ::snipped some more for space:: To all the new folks out there, Welcome!!! And to all of those *lurking* – please post and say hello to us. Remember, even those who are the *regulars* are dealing with the same issues. We’re all in this together. And be assured, that someone else is feeling what you are. PD takes many forms. You’re almost guaranteed to find someone else who has or is going through what you are. You’ll find a LOT of understanding and support on here which you’ll probably not find anywhere else. As someone who started posting a month or so ago, I can truthfully say, this group really is the best!! Please come in, say hello, and stay a while. :-).
Amen. ~Valerie
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -For about two weeks or so there were twice as many posts at ASAP than usual. It’s far from me to restart the ‘discussion’ and flaming which developed then but I do wonder if we scared new people off, because the quantity of posts is back to what it was before and most of it is written by posters who have been here for a while. If so, I feel really bad about this. We should make it a point to welcome new people as well as we can. We all were newbies once and the first week in a newsgroup can be overwhelming and intimidating, even without any flaming, just because one reads new terms and acronyms and can easily feel excluded because of the obvious rapport between *regulars* and ..er.. because one has an *anxiety disorder*. Of all people *we* should realize this and act accordingly IMO. Just something that came up. Philip
Flame wars, as many of us know, have a habit of developing a momentum all of their own, long after the original disagreement has been forgotten. In that respect, they are not unlike anxiety! When I first started posting here, my sense of humour was at a very low ebb, and I took great exception to a response from Arthur (of all people), and flamed him in return. He did explain the joke to me IIRC, and we get on fine now, but I can see how some newbies might well be put off quite easily. Newsgroups like this need newcomers to survive and we should do all we can to encourage them IMO. — Jon Guite When replying by email, please remove the trailing x from my return address
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I think I resemble Phillip’s remarks. *g*. It’s been a few weeks since I posted and I still consider myself in the *newbie* category. (OK *semi-newbie* is probably more correct.) Actually, the good news is that part of my absence was due to the fact that I was actually able to take a 4 day vacation, all alone. Drove about 300 miles – all alone. Went to York PA to the annual Harley-Davidson factory open house. Between walking in big lines through the factory (extra Xanax needed there) and test driving new Harley’s all over town, I was VERY proud of myself. (Haven’t been able to do that in a LONG time.) It felt great and I needed a short break from *anxiety speak* when I returned. However I digress. (That is a success story for another time.) Phillip’s excellent post hit a *nerve* with me. (No pun intended. *g*) Speaking from personal experience, I must say that when I first *delurked* and posted here, I received so much positive support from all of you, both via posts and even some private e-mail messages. It felt great. (Thank you!!!). Yet, another part of me noticed that obvious rapport between the regulars. And, as much as I hate to sound petty and admit it, something about that bothered me. It shouldn’t have, but did. Then there was that post about the *Death Test*. I was going through a rough time when that hit. Intellectually I KNEW it was BS and to avoid it, but like a moth to a flame, I was taking it. At that point, I freaked and went officially back to *lurking* status. I’ve been keeping up with my reading however. And to be honest, I’ve truly missed interacting with you great folks. While *away* I was doing some serious pondering about what it was that was bothering me about things on here. I’m only speaking for myself but I think that I did indeed feel *left out*, in some slightly inexplicable way. Here I am at 42. Pretty childish thing to feel. BUT it all finally fit into place. It’s the self esteem issue. For many of us who have had PD for many years, our self esteem is not up to par. Again, not rational, but it’s a fact of life for many of us. I also came to realize that as soon as the welcomes slowed down and a few of the comments about my long posts continued, my catastrophic thinking kicked in. The good news is that via a little time and a lot of self talk, I’m back. This thing we call anxiety has been with me for over half my life and I want to be here. I deserve to be here. I want to help others whenever I can. And occasionally, I’m going to ask for support myself. I’m only speaking for me. From my long posts you can probably tell I’m not afraid to *speak* (post). Probably some folks are very anxious about actually posting. Most likely, each and every one of us *newbies* has their own unique reasons for our feelings about ASAP, posting to newsgroups, and everything else. I visit a couple other newsgroups on a fairly regular basis and I can attest that there isn’t another one on the net where I’ve ever found so many kind, caring, knowledgeable, funny, and intelligent people. In my case it was a bit of the feeling of *exclusion* as well as anxiety of not knowing if I was being received well or not. I *know* it shouldn’t matter, but it did. Even via the anonymity of the internet, I was concerned what everyone thought. Classic anxiety trait. I’m over that phase now, I hope. *g*. To get away from *me* for a moment, I do think these are things everyone needs to think about when a *newbie* has the courage to post. I too think that we should all do everything possible to make them feel welcome and encourage their active and continued participation. We’re not perfect and some folks will just come and go no matter what is said and done. But I truly think many folks just need a bit more encouragement. So I personally will do my best to offer mine. To all the new folks out there, Welcome!!! And to all of those *lurking* – please post and say hello to us. Remember, even those who are the *regulars* are dealing with the same issues. We’re all in this together. And be assured, that someone else is feeling what you are. PD takes many forms. You’re almost guaranteed to find someone else who has or is going through what you are. You’ll find a LOT of understanding and support on here which you’ll probably not find anywhere else. As someone who started posting a month or so ago, I can truthfully say, this group really is the best!! Please come in, say hello, and stay a while. :-). JohnK .
Hi Jon, Congratulations on your successful trip. I think most people can relate to your feelings of feeling left out when joining this newsgroup. It is sort of like when you start a new job or go to a new school, you know nobody and you want to fit in so badly. I can assure you and anybody else here that this newsgroup is for everybody, and there are no rules to what or who you can reply too or interact with. Jump into any conversation or bantering session that is going on, no one is going to push anybody away. Rapport among people that have been here for awhile is a normal and it is not done to hurt or to make it seem like it is clique here. It is a natural process that occurs when you get to know posters after a period of time. Anyone that stays here for awhile will see that to be true. Take care John, I look foward to seeing you and any other new person posting here. Jackie
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi All, I think I resemble Phillip’s remarks. *g*. It’s been a few weeks since I posted and I still consider myself in the *newbie* category. (OK *semi-newbie* is probably more correct.) Actually, the good news is that part of my absence was due to the fact that I was actually able to take a 4 day vacation, all alone. Drove about 300 miles – all alone. Went to York PA to the annual Harley-Davidson factory open house. Between walking in big lines through the factory (extra Xanax needed there) and test driving new Harley’s all over town, I was VERY proud of myself. (Haven’t been able to do that in a LONG time.) It felt great and I needed a short break from *anxiety speak* when I returned. However I digress. (That is a success story for another time.) Phillip’s excellent post hit a *nerve* with me. (No pun intended. *g*) Speaking from personal experience, I must say that when I first *delurked* and posted here, I received so much positive support from all of you, both via posts and even some private e-mail messages. It felt great. (Thank you!!!). Yet, another part of me noticed that obvious rapport between the regulars. And, as much as I hate to sound petty and admit it, something about that bothered me. It shouldn’t have, but did. Then there was that post about the *Death Test*. I was going through a rough time when that hit. Intellectually I KNEW it was BS and to avoid it, but like a moth to a flame, I was taking it. At that point, I freaked and went officially back to *lurking* status. I’ve been keeping up with my reading however. And to be honest, I’ve truly missed interacting with you great folks. While *away* I was doing some serious pondering about what it was that was bothering me about things on here. I’m only speaking for myself but I think that I did indeed feel *left out*, in some slightly inexplicable way. Here I am at 42. Pretty childish thing to feel. BUT it all finally fit into place. It’s the self esteem issue. For many of us who have had PD for many years, our self esteem is not up to par. Again, not rational, but it’s a fact of life for many of us. I also came to realize that as soon as the welcomes slowed down and a few of the comments about my long posts continued, my catastrophic thinking kicked in. The good news is that via a little time and a lot of self talk, I’m back. This thing we call anxiety has been with me for over half my life and I want to be here. I deserve to be here. I want to help others whenever I can. And occasionally, I’m going to ask for support myself. I’m only speaking for me. From my long posts you can probably tell I’m not afraid to *speak* (post). Probably some folks are very anxious about actually posting. Most likely, each and every one of us *newbies* has their own unique reasons for our feelings about ASAP, posting to newsgroups, and everything else. I visit a couple other newsgroups on a fairly regular basis and I can attest that there isn’t another one on the net where I’ve ever found so many kind, caring, knowledgeable, funny, and intelligent people. In my case it was a bit of the feeling of *exclusion* as well as anxiety of not knowing if I was being received well or not. I *know* it shouldn’t matter, but it did. Even via the anonymity of the internet, I was concerned what everyone thought. Classic anxiety trait. I’m over that phase now, I hope. *g*. To get away from *me* for a moment, I do think these are things everyone needs to think about when a *newbie* has the courage to post. I too think that we should all do everything possible to make them feel welcome and encourage their active and continued participation. We’re not perfect and some folks will just come and go no matter what is said and done. But I truly think many folks just need a bit more encouragement. So I personally will do my best to offer mine. To all the new folks out there, Welcome!!! And to all of those *lurking* – please post and say hello to us. Remember, even those who are the *regulars* are dealing with the same issues. We’re all in this together. And be assured, that someone else is feeling what you are. PD takes many forms. You’re almost guaranteed to find someone else who has or is going through what you are. You’ll find a LOT of understanding and support on here which you’ll probably not find anywhere else. As someone who started posting a month or so ago, I can truthfully say, this group really is the best!! Please come in, say hello, and stay a while. :-). JohnK . For about two weeks or so there were twice as many posts at ASAP than usual. It’s far from me to restart the ‘discussion’ and flaming which developed then but I do wonder if we scared new people off, because the quantity of posts is back to what it was before and most of it is written by posters who have been here for a while. If so, I feel really bad about this. We should make it a point to welcome new people as well as we can. We all were newbies once and the first week in a newsgroup can be overwhelming and intimidating, even without any flaming, just because one reads new terms and acronyms and can easily feel excluded because of the obvious rapport between *regulars* and ..er.. because one has an *anxiety disorder*. Of all people *we* should realize this and act accordingly IMO. Just something that came up. Philip
Welcome back! John ! — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Exchange ideas on practically anything ™.
Response:
Just one word….Ditto….. boots
Response:
Hello Group Just one action (((Squish))) actions…….oh and a lot more words than two too ) (((Group Squish))) Just one word….Ditto….. boots
On The Sea Of Infinite Tranquility Sail On Graffnoir
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – For about two weeks or so there were twice as many posts at ASAP than usual. It’s far from me to restart the ‘discussion’ and flaming which developed then but I do wonder if we scared new people off, because the quantity of posts is back to what it was before and most of it is written by posters who have been here for a while. If so, I feel really bad about this. We should make it a point to welcome new people as well as we can. We all were newbies once and the first week in a newsgroup can be overwhelming and intimidating, even without any flaming, just because one reads new terms and acronyms and can easily feel excluded because of the obvious rapport between *regulars* and ..er.. because one has an *anxiety disorder*. Of all people *we* should realize this and act accordingly IMO. Just something that came up. Philip
Hi Philip, I have made a point of going down and welcoming every new post I can find! I agree with your post exactly! Kelly — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Exchange ideas on practically anything ™.
Response:
Hi All, I think I resemble Phillip’s remarks. *g*. It’s been a few weeks since I posted and I still consider myself in the *newbie* category. (OK *semi-newbie* is probably more correct.) Actually, the good news is that part of my absence was due to the fact that I was actually able to take a 4 day vacation, all alone. Drove about 300 miles – all alone. Went to York PA to the annual Harley-Davidson factory open house. Between walking in big lines through the factory (extra Xanax needed there) and test driving new Harley’s all over town, I was VERY proud of myself. (Haven’t been able to do that in a LONG time.) It felt great and I needed a short break from *anxiety speak* when I returned. However I digress. (That is a success story for another time.) Phillip’s excellent post hit a *nerve* with me. (No pun intended. *g*) Speaking from personal experience, I must say that when I first *delurked* and posted here, I received so much positive support from all of you, both via posts and even some private e-mail messages. It felt great. (Thank you!!!). Yet, another part of me noticed that obvious rapport between the regulars. And, as much as I hate to sound petty and admit it, something about that bothered me. It shouldn’t have, but did. Then there was that post about the *Death Test*. I was going through a rough time when that hit. Intellectually I KNEW it was BS and to avoid it, but like a moth to a flame, I was taking it. At that point, I freaked and went officially back to *lurking* status. I’ve been keeping up with my reading however. And to be honest, I’ve truly missed interacting with you great folks. While *away* I was doing some serious pondering about what it was that was bothering me about things on here. I’m only speaking for myself but I think that I did indeed feel *left out*, in some slightly inexplicable way. Here I am at 42. Pretty childish thing to feel. BUT it all finally fit into place. It’s the self esteem issue. For many of us who have had PD for many years, our self esteem is not up to par. Again, not rational, but it’s a fact of life for many of us. I also came to realize that as soon as the welcomes slowed down and a few of the comments about my long posts continued, my catastrophic thinking kicked in. The good news is that via a little time and a lot of self talk, I’m back. This thing we call anxiety has been with me for over half my life and I want to be here. I deserve to be here. I want to help others whenever I can. And occasionally, I’m going to ask for support myself. I’m only speaking for me. From my long posts you can probably tell I’m not afraid to *speak* (post). Probably some folks are very anxious about actually posting. Most likely, each and every one of us *newbies* has their own unique reasons for our feelings about ASAP, posting to newsgroups, and everything else. I visit a couple other newsgroups on a fairly regular basis and I can attest that there isn’t another one on the net where I’ve ever found so many kind, caring, knowledgeable, funny, and intelligent people. In my case it was a bit of the feeling of *exclusion* as well as anxiety of not knowing if I was being received well or not. I *know* it shouldn’t matter, but it did. Even via the anonymity of the internet, I was concerned what everyone thought. Classic anxiety trait. I’m over that phase now, I hope. *g*. To get away from *me* for a moment, I do think these are things everyone needs to think about when a *newbie* has the courage to post. I too think that we should all do everything possible to make them feel welcome and encourage their active and continued participation. We’re not perfect and some folks will just come and go no matter what is said and done. But I truly think many folks just need a bit more encouragement. So I personally will do my best to offer mine. To all the new folks out there, Welcome!!! And to all of those *lurking* – please post and say hello to us. Remember, even those who are the *regulars* are dealing with the same issues. We’re all in this together. And be assured, that someone else is feeling what you are. PD takes many forms. You’re almost guaranteed to find someone else who has or is going through what you are. You’ll find a LOT of understanding and support on here which you’ll probably not find anywhere else. As someone who started posting a month or so ago, I can truthfully say, this group really is the best!! Please come in, say hello, and stay a while. :-). JohnK . – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – For about two weeks or so there were twice as many posts at ASAP than usual. It’s far from me to restart the ‘discussion’ and flaming which developed then but I do wonder if we scared new people off, because the quantity of posts is back to what it was before and most of it is written by posters who have been here for a while. If so, I feel really bad about this. We should make it a point to welcome new people as well as we can. We all were newbies once and the first week in a newsgroup can be overwhelming and intimidating, even without any flaming, just because one reads new terms and acronyms and can easily feel excluded because of the obvious rapport between *regulars* and ..er.. because one has an *anxiety disorder*. Of all people *we* should realize this and act accordingly IMO. Just something that came up. Philip
Response:
Great post John! Congrats on the vacation, sounds like a real success for you. It’s something to be proud of. You make many valid points in your post. Some posts don’t get the responses one would hope for, but most are read and given thought to. I would answer every one if time allowed, and my catastrophic thinking wouldn’t be about sending too many posts in:) Sometimes we just don’t know what to say unfortunately, and from experience just being told you’re being thought of is enough support at times. This is a good group, so many great support people, ones who make us laugh, think, and reach for better times. I know what you mean by the rapport of the regulars, when I first posted it was intimidating, not feeling like you fit in. Probably most of us felt this way. To all the newbies, we know how that feels and try to make you feel welcome here. Just wanted you to know that you are an important part of the group. Ray – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi All, I think I resemble Phillip’s remarks. *g*. It’s been a few weeks since I posted and I still consider myself in the *newbie* category. (OK *semi-newbie* is probably more correct.) Actually, the good news is that part of my absence was due to the fact that I was actually able to take a 4 day vacation, all alone. Drove about 300 miles – all alone. Went to York PA to the annual Harley-Davidson factory open house. Between walking in big lines through the factory (extra Xanax needed there) and test driving new Harley’s all over town, I was VERY proud of myself. (Haven’t been able to do that in a LONG time.) It felt great and I needed a short break from *anxiety speak* when I returned. However I digress. (That is a success story for another time.) Phillip’s excellent post hit a *nerve* with me. (No pun intended. *g*) Speaking from personal experience, I must say that when I first *delurked* and posted here, I received so much positive support from all of you, both via posts and even some private e-mail messages. It felt great. (Thank you!!!). Yet, another part of me noticed that obvious rapport between the regulars. And, as much as I hate to sound petty and admit it, something about that bothered me. It shouldn’t have, but did. Then there was that post about the *Death Test*. I was going through a rough time when that hit. Intellectually I KNEW it was BS and to avoid it, but like a moth to a flame, I was taking it. At that point, I freaked and went officially back to *lurking* status. I’ve been keeping up with my reading however. And to be honest, I’ve truly missed interacting with you great folks. While *away* I was doing some serious pondering about what it was that was bothering me about things on here. I’m only speaking for myself but I think that I did indeed feel *left out*, in some slightly inexplicable way. Here I am at 42. Pretty childish thing to feel. BUT it all finally fit into place. It’s the self esteem issue. For many of us who have had PD for many years, our self esteem is not up to par. Again, not rational, but it’s a fact of life for many of us. I also came to realize that as soon as the welcomes slowed down and a few of the comments about my long posts continued, my catastrophic thinking kicked in. The good news is that via a little time and a lot of self talk, I’m back. This thing we call anxiety has been with me for over half my life and I want to be here. I deserve to be here. I want to help others whenever I can. And occasionally, I’m going to ask for support myself. I’m only speaking for me. From my long posts you can probably tell I’m not afraid to *speak* (post). Probably some folks are very anxious about actually posting. Most likely, each and every one of us *newbies* has their own unique reasons for our feelings about ASAP, posting to newsgroups, and everything else. I visit a couple other newsgroups on a fairly regular basis and I can attest that there isn’t another one on the net where I’ve ever found so many kind, caring, knowledgeable, funny, and intelligent people. In my case it was a bit of the feeling of *exclusion* as well as anxiety of not knowing if I was being received well or not. I *know* it shouldn’t matter, but it did. Even via the anonymity of the internet, I was concerned what everyone thought. Classic anxiety trait. I’m over that phase now, I hope. *g*. To get away from *me* for a moment, I do think these are things everyone needs to think about when a *newbie* has the courage to post. I too think that we should all do everything possible to make them feel welcome and encourage their active and continued participation. We’re not perfect and some folks will just come and go no matter what is said and done. But I truly think many folks just need a bit more encouragement. So I personally will do my best to offer mine. To all the new folks out there, Welcome!!! And to all of those *lurking* – please post and say hello to us. Remember, even those who are the *regulars* are dealing with the same issues. We’re all in this together. And be assured, that someone else is feeling what you are. PD takes many forms. You’re almost guaranteed to find someone else who has or is going through what you are. You’ll find a LOT of understanding and support on here which you’ll probably not find anywhere else. As someone who started posting a month or so ago, I can truthfully say, this group really is the best!! Please come in, say hello, and stay a while. :-). JohnK . For about two weeks or so there were twice as many posts at ASAP than usual. It’s far from me to restart the ‘discussion’ and flaming which developed then but I do wonder if we scared new people off, because the quantity of posts is back to what it was before and most of it is written by posters who have been here for a while. If so, I feel really bad about this. We should make it a point to welcome new people as well as we can. We all were newbies once and the first week in a newsgroup can be overwhelming and intimidating, even without any flaming, just because one reads new terms and acronyms and can easily feel excluded because of the obvious rapport between *regulars* and ..er.. because one has an *anxiety disorder*. Of all people *we* should realize this and act accordingly IMO. Just something that came up. Philip
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – For about two weeks or so there were twice as many posts at ASAP than usual. It’s far from me to restart the ‘discussion’ and flaming which developed then but I do wonder if we scared new people off, because the quantity of posts is back to what it was before and most of it is written by posters who have been here for a while. If so, I feel really bad about this. We should make it a point to welcome new people as well as we can. We all were newbies once and the first week in a newsgroup can be overwhelming and intimidating, even without any flaming, just because one reads new terms and acronyms and can easily feel excluded because of the obvious rapport between *regulars* and ..er.. because one has an *anxiety disorder*. Of all people *we* should realize this and act accordingly IMO. Just something that came up. Philip
an additional to all: Using a computer to communicate so personal an issue as ones emotions or pains or turmoil without the luxury of the intimite contact of face to face communication with all the other nuances that go along with that like body language facial expression and so forth make it extremely difficult to get the full gist of what happens between people. We tend to take out our frustrations within ourselves on others and lash out in anger or frustration to those invisible faces in this cyber space. Its easier and less confronting to write words and send them without seeing their affect on the recepient. But this is a collective ng a support arena where anyone can speak their piece or ask for a helping hand and would hopefully get some answers some support some laughs some open and genuine compassion empathy and facilitation. We all are fallible creatures and make mistakes with ourselves and others its human nature and expected. Our own petty neurosis and interpersonal grievences and spats are expected but counterproductive to the greater good of the majority who seek comfort and peace at this site. I hope that for the sake of all who seek that piece and comfort they find it here. I will endevour to give what I can and I hope you all do as well. The goals here are to assist the many who ask for it and can use it not to digress into personal assaults that produce absolutely nothing except hurt more pain more frustration and little benefit for anyone. Please focus on the good that can be done not the hurt that has happened and cannot be undone, but forgotten and accepted. LM
Response:
Thanks Philip, hopefully your post helps put a stop to the flames. Debby
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – (From soapbox) Hi all For the sake of the feeling of *safety* at ASAP I would like to request everybody to stop posting about what Steph said earlier. It seems that all points of view have been explained and we seem to only repeat ourselves now. IMO it would be best to take further controversies on this subject to private email in order to go on with what all of us do best: sharing information and knowledge and supporting each other when we can. ASAP has been almost totally *flameless* for months now and it’s been a delight to be here AFAIC (if we would find *Da Cure* and no one of us would still have an anxiety disorder I still would miss you!). Let’s get back to that. Philip (off soapbox)
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – For about two weeks or so there were twice as many posts at ASAP than usual. It’s far from me to restart the ‘discussion’ and flaming which developed then but I do wonder if we scared new people off, because the quantity of posts is back to what it was before and most of it is written by posters who have been here for a while. If so, I feel really bad about this. We should make it a point to welcome new people as well as we can. We all were newbies once and the first week in a newsgroup can be overwhelming and intimidating, even without any flaming, just because one reads new terms and acronyms and can easily feel excluded because of the obvious rapport between *regulars* and ..er.. because one has an *anxiety disorder*. Of all people *we* should realize this and act accordingly IMO. Just something that came up. Philip
Hi Philip, Just two words: Well Said. Paul
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For about two weeks or so there were twice as many posts at ASAP than usual. It’s far from me to restart the ‘discussion’ and flaming which developed then but I do wonder if we scared new people off, because the quantity of posts is back to what it was before and most of it is written by posters who have been here for a while. If so, I feel really bad about this. We should make it a point to welcome new people as well as we can. We all were newbies once and the first week in a newsgroup can be overwhelming and intimidating, even without any flaming, just because one reads new terms and acronyms and can easily feel excluded because of the obvious rapport between *regulars* and ..er.. because one has an *anxiety disorder*. Of all people *we* should realize this and act accordingly IMO. Just something that came up. Philip
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – For about two weeks or so there were twice as many posts at ASAP than usual. It’s far from me to restart the ‘discussion’ and flaming which developed then but I do wonder if we scared new people off, because the quantity of posts is back to what it was before and most of it is written by posters who have been here for a while. If so, I feel really bad about this. We should make it a point to welcome new people as well as we can. We all were newbies once and the first week in a newsgroup can be overwhelming and intimidating, even without any flaming, just because one reads new terms and acronyms and can easily feel excluded because of the obvious rapport between *regulars* and ..er.. because one has an *anxiety disorder*. Of all people *we* should realize this and act accordingly IMO. Just something that came up. Philip
Good point, Philip. When I was a *newbie* I was alittle intimidated by the rapport I saw between certain posters. I was afraid I was butting in. But We should go out of our way to make newbies feel welcome. I must admit, though, that so many newbies at once was a bit overwhelming for me to handle. But that is why we have soooooooooooo many *veterans* here. If we all pitch in to welcome the newbies, I’m sure we can all handle it together. We all have our own little areas of expertise. It won’t be long before the newbies feel just as much at home here as us regulars. Karen :)))
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Hello Philip: Thanks, I think you are right [as usual], so "yeah me too" –jk to go on with what all of us do – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -best: sharing information and knowledge and supporting each other when we can.
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I agree too Philip, and just now saw this request of yours – after posting a response to Chuck. (oopsie!) I wholeheartedly agree. It’s been exhausted (and exhausting!) Things feel very "off" here and I’m looking forward to getting our equilibrium back as a group. : ) Love, Parker
<"(From soapbox) Hi all For the sake of the feeling of *safety* at ASAP I would like to request everybody to stop posting about what Steph said earlier. It seems that all points of view have been explained and we seem to only repeat ourselves now. IMO it would be best to take further controversies on this subject to private email in order to go on with what all of us do best: sharing information and knowledge and supporting each other when we can. ASAP has been almost totally *flameless* for months now and it’s been a delight to be here AFAIC (if we would find *Da Cure* and no one of us would still have an anxiety disorder I still would miss you!). Let’s get back to that. Philip (off soapbox)"
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I agree! wbeno – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – (From soapbox) Hi all For the sake of the feeling of *safety* at ASAP I would like to request everybody to stop posting about what Steph said earlier. It seems that all points of view have been explained and we seem to only repeat ourselves now. IMO it would be best to take further controversies on this subject to private email in order to go on with what all of us do best: sharing information and knowledge and supporting each other when we can. ASAP has been almost totally *flameless* for months now and it’s been a delight to be here AFAIC (if we would find *Da Cure* and no one of us would still have an anxiety disorder I still would miss you!). Let’s get back to that. Philip (off soapbox)
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(From soapbox) Hi all For the sake of the feeling of *safety* at ASAP I would like to request everybody to stop posting about what Steph said earlier. It seems that all points of view have been explained and we seem to only repeat ourselves now. IMO it would be best to take further controversies on this subject to private email in order to go on with what all of us do best: sharing information and knowledge and supporting each other when we can. ASAP has been almost totally *flameless* for months now and it’s been a delight to be here AFAIC (if we would find *Da Cure* and no one of us would still have an anxiety disorder I still would miss you!). Let’s get back to that. Philip (off soapbox)
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Philip writes:
There are a few threads these days that won’t stop for some reason but don’t contribute anything to ASAP. They are about people who were here (Edward) or are here and have a dubious history here (Popejed). So they’re both really about the past. I would like to urge participants in these *discussions* to take them to private email – if they really should be continued at all that would be a better idea than to keep on posting your disagreements at ASAP where they only disrupt the safety of the group. We lost a *lot* of newbies a few weeks ago and I am sorry about that. Let’s learn from this. Let’s keep personal issues with other posters out of the public forum. Almost everybody says they’re going to do just that and then don’t….. Philip
Hi Andre <G Sounds like sound advice to me. Thank You. Steffi
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Philip, Wise words friend Cathy (tired of skipping over unhelpful threads) P.H.O.B.I.A. People Helping Others Become Independent Again Off line Panic/anxiety support group, NJ http://community.nj.com/cc/phobia
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – There are a few threads these days that won’t stop for some reason but don’t contribute anything to ASAP. They are about people who were here (Edward) or are here and have a dubious history here (Popejed). So they’re both really about the past. I would like to urge participants in these *discussions* to take them to private email – if they really should be continued at all that would be a better idea than to keep on posting your disagreements at ASAP where they only disrupt the safety of the group. We lost a *lot* of newbies a few weeks ago and I am sorry about that. Let’s learn from this. Let’s keep personal issues with other posters out of the public forum. Almost everybody says they’re going to do just that and then don’t….. Philip
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There are a few threads these days that won’t stop for some reason but don’t contribute anything to ASAP. They are about people who were here (Edward) or are here and have a dubious history here (Popejed). So they’re both really about the past. I would like to urge participants in these *discussions* to take them to private email – if they really should be continued at all that would be a better idea than to keep on posting your disagreements at ASAP where they only disrupt the safety of the group. We lost a *lot* of newbies a few weeks ago and I am sorry about that. Let’s learn from this. Let’s keep personal issues with other posters out of the public forum. Almost everybody says they’re going to do just that and then don’t….. Philip
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This Stpehanie character is of course nothing but a troll. Don’t take her seriously. Don’t let her get to you. Don’t reply to her posts. That way she will levae soon enough. I sure wish that there will come an end to all this crossposting that has been going on lately as it’s not contributing much to ASAP. My suggestion: if answering to a crossposted message do it either by private email or delete the names of the other newsgroups and relpy only to ASAP. Just my two c. Philip I certainly don’t have a problem with this; however, many might takeissue with the what she is posting. I for one don’t like someone belittling my disorder, nor do I feel that rape victims are enjoying her "get over it" attitude. I think the choice should be up to the individual to ignore this ill informed moron or to respond in-kind. I will, OTOH, take your advice and ignore her. One thing though, I would still like to read and laugh at her incredibility stupid posts. They are poorly conceived, ill informed and are a second-rate pretense for real, helpful posts, but they do raise my spirits some, which I need so much lately–but that’s another story. Please, people, don’t take my laughing at her as laughing at you. Our depression, PTSD, PD and anxiety disorders are real. OTOH, I doubt that this Stephanie person has ever had anything *real* happen to her, that is, in terms of trauma, or depression, etc. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be posting such nonsense. She may, in fact, believe what she is posting as true. If so, don’t you think that she one of the saddest creatures alive? I do. Okay, Philip, now for you: give me 50 push ups, now, mister! Do you want to be depressed for the rest of your life? <g — Chuck
If I’m really well prepared I think I can do one or maybe two 
) I agree that one might feel very insulted at having her/his disorder belittled and of course it’s everybody’s individual right to reply or not. Based on the experience of the last months I think ignoring trolls *is* the best way to get rid of them. I emailed one of the people who are constantly replying Stephanie from another ng thereby continuing the situation and asked to remover ASAP from the crosspost list. It was a friendly and polite email. I got a reply that said if I would email her/him once more (s)he would mail 50 messages to ASAP. Sigh…. Philip
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This Stpehanie character is of course nothing but a troll. Don’t take her seriously. Don’t let her get to you. Don’t reply to her posts. That way she will levae soon enough. I sure wish that there will come an end to all this crossposting that has been going on lately as it’s not contributing much to ASAP. My suggestion: if answering to a crossposted message do it either by private email or delete the names of the other newsgroups and relpy only to ASAP. Just my two c. Philip
Hi Philip. I think I know why Stephanie thinks she has all the answers. She must have stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night!!!! (And this, of course, would only be funny to the people in the States.) Karen )))
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Everybody seems to be barking up the wrong tree over this "Stephanie" character. Clearly, it looks like someone from access1.net was trying to get *a* Stephanie in trouble with inflamatory posts with her addy. The crap written in those posts was there to piss you off so you’d send hate mail to the addy they used, which was clearly false. This happens all the time, and by sending follow-up mail to the address is only playing into their hands. Someone from videotron.ab.ca then posted they were the real thing, but at this point, who cares? Just add a kill filter to stuff you don’t agree with and don’t fuel these people. Every little follow-up is a point for them. The follow up posting with extreme profanity was a lot of wasted energy. The person behind the troll posts must be laughing their head off at you. I bet they just love pissing someone off to that point. -Steve – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This Stpehanie character is of course nothing but a troll. Don’t take her seriously. Don’t let her get to you. Don’t reply to her posts. That way she will levae soon enough. I sure wish that there will come an end to all this crossposting that has been going on lately as it’s not contributing much to ASAP. My suggestion: if answering to a crossposted message do it either by private email or delete the names of the other newsgroups and relpy only to ASAP. Just my two c. Philip
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This Stpehanie character is of course nothing but a troll. Don’t take her seriously. Don’t let her get to you. Don’t reply to her posts. That way she will levae soon enough. I sure wish that there will come an end to all this crossposting that has been going on lately as it’s not contributing much to ASAP. My suggestion: if answering to a crossposted message do it either by private email or delete the names of the other newsgroups and relpy only to ASAP. Just my two c. Philip
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Hi All. Bit of wisdom.. Today was another day…Yesterday was another day passed. Tomorrow is the future. Go for your goal. You will get there no matter what!!! Cookie
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Hi All. Bit of wisdom.. Today was another day…Yesterday was another day passed. Tomorrow is the future. Go for your goal. You will get there no matter what!!! Cookie
Thanks {{{{{{{Cookie}}}}}}} for the encouragement. We all can use it I’m sure! Di
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thanks cherry * Sent from RemarQ http://www.remarq.com The Internet’s Discussion Network * The fastest and easiest way to search and participate in Usenet – Free!
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Hi all. Well there is one thing about this group ….We can all have a laugh and joke even though we have our problems. Good health Cookie.
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Hi all. Well there is one thing about this group ….We can all have a laugh and joke even though we have our problems. Good health Cookie.
Very true Cookie! And it’s a good thing we can too. Di
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That is such a good thing. Raquel
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi all. Well there is one thing about this group ….We can all have a laugh and joke even though we have our problems. Good health Cookie.
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