Question:
Hi Chimera, Im glad you are going even though its hard. At least it will help. I will be thinking of you always. I wish I had a address to at least send you some smiles and support. well, you take care and take alot of showers. they are soothing to the soul. Lisa
: never underestimate the power of hydrotherapy. i have my clearest : insights while bathing or showering. : : this is all far, far bigger than me. i’m not hoping for anything : beneficial except not being alone and cut-off as i am right now. and : believe it or not, medication. my ptsd is out of control. i am : decompensating rapidly. : : i am a recovering dissociative. dissociatives are vulnerable to : relapse as long as they live. sitting right on the fine line where i : might have an identity split again. it was a total bitch to put my : mind together last time. over a year of excruciating solitary work, : stayed off the internet even. i was in a better environmental : position then. not much better, but safe. had assistance, people : around me. : : i have to put myself in the hospital. i don’t know when. probably : this evening. there is a social worker in the building. i’ll see if : she can help. : : it’s going to majorly suck. i am not treated well in the hospital. : ignored, ostracized and even criticized, quite frankly. get leaned on : by the sicker unitmates and have to blow up to make them stop just : like i blew up on #freeasd/asdf last night. not much energy is : invested in me by doctors and such. i have no family or strong real : life support network of people. i have a terrible mi history and : prognosis. i am at the high end of high-functioning, given my illness : and history. : : i’d rather have my eyes gouged out than go into the hospital. but : then i’d have to get voice recognition software. : : — : chimera: learned a lot, a lot to learn : even marathon runners fall down. : icq #101774213 :
Response:
i’d rather have my eyes gouged out than go into the hospital. but then i’d have to get voice recognition software.
Resigned, resolute but still in the irony,humor. In this I see hope, hold it tight. I will think of the group as I rototill today. Aha the wonders of dolomite lime. Hey Claudia, just for the hell of it…. If you get lots of sun in the apartment why don’t you try to grow one of those Giant Atlantic pumpkins? You would be the talk of the place with your own giant pumpkin in the living room! Hey if you gotta be nuts be creative! I will try again outside. My best sofar is #120 best in state is over #700. I think in NY they topped #1,000. toad "There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad." Salvador Dali
Response:
you can blow up at me either here or email. i know disassociation happens to deal with a situation. hope at least in that way it will help you. perhaps the social worker may have other options.
: follow up: : the mere thought of inpatient hospitalization is making things : *worse*. because it would be * a lot* worse. going to aim for : outpatient treatment and meds. there’s a place nearby. : — : chimera: learned a lot, a lot to learn : even marathon runners fall down. : icq #101774213
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