Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Hi everyone, I can noit believe the situations I find myself in these days. I have poisted before about my relationships and all that jazz— well this time he is a stalker. Talking about my ptsd going into full alert. i called my therapist and he said the hyperviligience will come in handy this time(ha) i have learned my lesson on getting involved with a member from my support group. AA. Yep, I have. And it had to taske something like this for me to open my eyes. The guy had not been honest about anything and is blaming me. So he has threatened my life and made phone calls and today sent me some real nice emails. I called the police and filed charges. The hard part is my hair standing on end all the time. As I sit here and write I keep looking ober my shoulder and keep hearing noises. I dissassociated 2 days ago so no nightmares for the last 2 nights. This guy is real scary. All of this shit  has sent me back I feel in my process of working through my traumas. I will put all further relationships on hold until I get in a better spot and will put forth all of my energy into healing and getting better. Thanks for listening.

Response:

Jst42dayjl wrote > i have learned my lesson on getting involved with a member from my support > group. AA. Yep, I have. And it had to taske something like this for me to open > my eyes.

I find that I usually don’t hear the quiet warnings, and need to be clobbered with a clue-by-four to get the message :/   I hate that, and am working on listening more intently more often to those inner voices. > The guy had not been honest about anything and is blaming me. So he > has threatened my life and made phone calls and today sent me some real nice > emails. I called the police and filed charges. The hard part is my hair > standing on end all the time. As I sit here and write I keep looking ober my > shoulder and keep hearing noises. I dissassociated 2 days ago so no nightmares > for the last 2 nights. This guy is real scary.

Sounds like you are handling it appropriately (in a healthy way, especially by contacting your T and the police).  What kind of response did you get from the police? > All of this shit  has sent me back I feel in my process of working through my > traumas. I will put all further relationships on hold until I get in a better > spot and will put forth all of my energy into healing and getting better.

Sounds like you are on the right track, and doing what you need to do. Working on it is hard, and it’s easy to fall into complacency.  By doing the work, you are on your way, and I think that’s great!  I suspect it probably feels much different, but how you are handling this is an example to us all. I hope you never have to go through it again. take care, Renee It’s not how many times you fall down, it’s how many times you get up that matters

Response:

Hi Renee, Thanks for responding. The poice filed harrassement charges and made the statement that it looks as though the guy has done this behavior before because he came right under the law statutes of stalking. One more mile or one more of this or that and he would have had a warrrant filed, but he knew just how far to go. Last night as soon as I fell asleep, he rang. I hung up.  I have also just found out that he is being used at the "Cedar Cyanide Hospital" in Ca. for research studies and gets paid for it. Who knows?? And the part I hate more than everything is I had such a bad gut feeling about the man the very first time we talked in the parking lot after a meeting. I was so nervous, I could not even stand near the man. And I discounted my own feelings!!!! But that is what I have always done, and I am telling myself it took 30+ years walking this road, therefore it will not be an overnight hike back!! Thanks again for responding.Jeannie

Response:

Jst42dayjl wrote > And the part I hate more than everything is I had such a bad gut feeling about > the man the very first time we talked in the parking lot after a meeting. I was > so nervous, I could not even stand near the man. And I discounted my own > feelings!!!! But that is what I have always done, and I am telling myself it > took 30+ years walking this road, therefore it will not be an overnight hike > back!!

I like how you are handling this, and what you are telling yourself as you go through this.  I like that you aren’t beating yourself up for it too much, but treating yourself gently, as a human being.  You know this is a lesson in trusting your gut, something I need to learn to do more often too. So often I feel that something is not right, something feels yucky, but I can’t put my finger on exactly what, so I blow it off :/    It is most definitely something that is hard to unlearn and relearn, but I keep telling myself it’s not impossible! > Thanks again for responding.Jeannie

you’re welcome  hope I’m of some help, or at least you know you’re not alone in how you feel and how you deal with things.  we are more alike than we are different, someone said. take care, Renee It’s not how many times you fall down, it’s how many times you get up that matters

Response:

Thanks gay marine for responding also. Yeah I am trying to see it as growth but it sure is hard when your in the middle of it. You would think that having to be super alert and knowing when the trouble was coming for me, I would be relying upon my "gut", but I like your insight on being so distrustful we cant trust ourselves. Now that I can relate too.

Response:

Hi Scott, Thanks for responding!! Today I have been trying to not beat myself up over this situation. You know, I was thinking —-I seem to do better in a crisis, my responses are trained and in dormat ready for a time such as this. I realize that is not so healthy, but it is a part of me. Have you ever heard the saying, "Who we are in a relationship with, says as much about us as it does them?" Or one of my personal favorites–Water seeks its own level. So I will try not to bash the gut too much! (Ha) I will have to say he would have earned a grammy for his performance. Of course my sponser has me looking at what part did I play in it all?? Yuk. Once again thanks for answering.

Response:

Jst42dayjl wrote: >Hi everyone,

<snip> >The guy had not been honest about anything and is blaming me. So he >has threatened my life and made phone calls and today sent me some real nice >emails. I called the police and filed charges. The hard part is my hair >standing on end all the time. As I sit here and write I keep looking ober my >shoulder and keep hearing noises.

i completely know the feeling…its hard for me to tell anyone, but i was stalked 2 years ago…it essentially is the cause of my problems (i don’t officially claim ptsd, b/c i have not been diagnosed)…i try to keep a low profile, not give out my real name online, try not to make it in the news papers, things like that, because i don’t want him knowing where i’m at…i know what it’s like to spend your life looking over your shoulder…i have been doing that for the past 2 years…i would really like it to end, and slowly, very slowly it is…with the help of my friends…. <snip> >I will put all further relationships on hold until I get in a better >spot and will put forth all of my energy into healing and getting better. >Thanks for listening.

this is the exact thing that i have done…i really haven’t made any close friends since "the incident," save one…he’s a blessing…one thing i haven’t done is dated anyone…outside of my rebound relationships, which didn’t work, i haven’t dated in year…some ppl think im crazy, but im not in a situation for that just yet…putting stuff on hold isn’t bad, i’ve learned, if it’s what u have to do, then do it… thank you for posting…i was beginning to feel i was alone in the world Kym "Normal is not what I’ve been."–Fox Mulder, "The X-Files"

Response:

Hi, You know I have not actually ever talked to another person who has been stalked. I have read about it in newspapers and articles, but I always thought it happened to someone else.Until now. Maybe this ordeal will be short lived. He is an alcholic who was in recovery for a short time. Now he is back on the sauce. I pray for him, thats all I know to do for now. That and take care of myself and my child. Watch over my shoulder when going into the grocery and try not to go out after dark. So on and so forth. Thanks for letting meknow there really is someone else who has been there. Sorry you had such a time with it.

Response:

Jst42dayjl wrote: >Hi, You know I have not actually ever talked to another person who has been >stalked. I have read about it in newspapers and articles, but I always thought >it happened to someone else.Until now.

ditto, my friend…actually for me, i never knew normal people were stalked until this happened to me…i always thought it was celebs…now, that i think about it…there has been soooo many movies made about it…that was the whole premise of "The Bodyguard"… >Maybe this ordeal will be short lived. >He is an alcholic who was in recovery for a short time. Now he is back on the >sauce. I pray for him, thats all I know to do for now. That and take care of >myself and my child. Watch over my shoulder when going into the grocery and try >not to go out after dark. So on and so forth.

well, so far mine has been short lived…it only went on for three months, but my protection order and conviction order expire here shortly…so im kinda nervous…maybe he’ll go back to doing it…i dunno…its kinda scary…. >Thanks for letting meknow there >really is someone else who has been there. Sorry you had such a time with

it. oh, my friend…i know we are not alone…only those people out there, either didn’t report it and are living in fear, or they did report it and wound up on a talk show or the news (those are the only other places i have heard about normal people being stalked)…i know i am not alone, and i have been praying for someone to come along along who understands the fear that stalking brings…i mean, yea my friends are understanding and stuff, but they can’t really understand that constant fear that stalking evokes, unless they, themselves have had it happen to them…thank you so much, you are an answer to a prayer… Kym

Response:

Related Posts