Question:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Crafty Bernardo wrote: > On Wed, 11 Oct 2000 14:48:03 GMT, Ron Nicholson <ba…@home.com> > wrote: > >Crafty Bernardo wrote: > >> I don’t think that we are all the same and are certainly not at the > >> same places. Nothing wrong with wanting to get better, but we are all > >> individuals with abundant triggers. > >> Rick > >An if no one will tell which lines I am crossing, or why my comments are > >provocative it will likely continue to happen. I can’t read people’s minds. > You sound like you are asking for some rule book. This stuff by it’s > nature is not always definable. Many times triggers are not known in > advance. There is no answer to what you are wanting, no rule book. > Don’t you know that from your own experiences? > Rick
What I know from my experience is that establishing boundaries IS a good idea. When I have difficulty with something and I know it (even if I don’t know why) I ask people to at least acknowledge that. Look. It is this simple. I don’t want to cause anyone here undue stress. People aren’t provoked and I can still try for the support that helps me.
Response:
carole wrote: > Ron Nicholson <ba…@home.com> wrote in message > news:39E33CAD.253F3B06@home.com… > > I seem to be triggering people left right and > > centre. > actually, you do not have the power to trigger me. > > Would someone care to write a brief comment > > on what support is as it pertains to this > > group. > no, i, for one, would not care to write such a comment.
LOL. You participate in a support group but…amazing
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Crafty Bernardo wrote: > On Tue, 10 Oct 2000 16:00:50 GMT, Ron Nicholson <ba…@home.com> > wrote: > >I seem to be triggering people left right and > >centre. > >Would someone care to write a brief comment > >on what support is as it pertains to this > >group. > there is no is, concerning this group. PTSD leaves people in whatever > shape it does. There is no *group* opinion or concensus. We are are at > whatever stages of of recovery, from newly diagnosed to having a > fairly functional life. Everyone is at a different place and using > varying approaches for recovery. Some items will be agreed upon, some > will not. PTSD is a tough nut. It isn’t fair to make statements like > people are happy with being PTSD. At any particular point in time we > can be very satisfied in just finally having been diagnosed. progress > is slow and painstaking. No judgements allowed. We are all doing the > best we can, triggers are frequent and sometimes not known until they > occur. > Rick
I don’t have a problem with that. I seem to be at the stage of rebuilding my life and not content with what has been. I don’t think I have been judgmental, anyway not to the extent of have my motives questioned and mused about in the group of trying to start online therapy. Point is, everyday I push and in every way so that I can feel better and have the life I want. I asked the question so I am not creating problems for others, or sabotaging my own attempts to get help.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Cloud Dreamer wrote: > In article <39E33CAD.253F3…@home.com>, > Ron Nicholson <ba…@home.com> wrote: > > I seem to be triggering people left right and > > centre. > > Would someone care to write a brief comment > > on what support is as it pertains to this > > group. > The reaction of some here has been abit unusual. > What everyone must understand is that this is a public forum. If > someone is so easily triggered by stuff that is written here then they > should not be reading this group. Not everyone considers what they > write to be triggering, so they don’t always include spoilers. It’s up > to each individual what they read and post. > People here must also understand that when a new person discovers this > ng they may be so elated at having found others with PTSD that they > have a million questions and in the absence of an FAQ they will ask > questions that experienced posters may not like. It is up to each > individual how they respond. If they feared that you were > a "researcher" then they should refrain from responding to your posts > until it becomes apparent that you are or are not a researcher. > The idea of a support forum is to do as I believe you pointed out in > another post – to discuss how our lives are affected, how we deal with > certain problems or to just vent our frustrations. This cannot be done > without some references from time to time about a persons’ trauma. It > is also prudent to treat others here as you would like to be treated – > all too often people forget that there are real people on the other > side of these letters and can be downright mean at times. > This is a public support forum. Nobody can tell you what you can and > cannot post unless it is obviouly insulting, hateful or degrading on > purpose.
Thank you. I do apologize if I have seemed mean, but I get angry. It’s nothing personal to anyone here. I want to be better and sometimes I can’t do that alone. That people who are JUST LIKE ME can’t see that or refuse to participate is infuriating.
Response:
>> I seem to be triggering people left right and >> centre.
i’d have to agree with carole on this one. the power to trigger me is not something i’m going to give up quite that easily. i wouldn’t be here if questions like you’re asking were that triggering. why would you assume you were triggering people? because they didn’t agree with you? >> Would someone care to write a brief comment >> on what support is as it pertains to this >> group.
i have just gotten a chance to read through the posts of the last week. support is something different to each person. it looks like your idea of support is that we all agree with what you have to say and put a little elbow grease into improving your life. been here long enough to know that isn’t going to happen. we are all in different places in our own recovery. we are all willing participants here too-free to do as little or as much as we would like to. improving your life isn’t high on my list of priorities right now. we can’t be your guides on how to get better.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -kajira hill wrote: > On Wed, 11 Oct 2000 14:46:22 GMT, Ron Nicholson wrote: > ::Crafty Bernardo wrote: > :: > ::> > > ::> Just remember where you are and that we are all, including you, at > ::> different places in our lives. PTSD can create volatile reactions, > ::> triggers abound. > ::> > ::> Rick > :: > ::I think I do understand that, hence my questions of what boundaries I should > ::be aware of. That doesn’t change the fact that I still will continue to push > ::to get the help that does make me feel better and improve the quality of my > ::life. > It is my opinion that you might get better results by "pushing to > get the help that does make you feel better and improve the quality > of your life" from a source of professional counseling — NOT from > people that you are apparently triggering. > It is a support group — and we do (in my short stay here, I’ve seen > it anyway) support each other. But it’s a very sensitive area, and > when one realizes one is perhaps igniting triggers, one should > rethink one’s "strategy." > Years ago in another support group with the same trigger issues, I > had a signature file that was surrounded with plus signs. That > triggered horrendous things in at least two people. I removed the > pluses and changed them to something else. > I think maybe the key word in your goal statement was the word > "push." It could be very possible we’re tired of being pushed. > My opinions, all.
I think I covered that by asking what was acceptable in this group and what constituted support. And there is no need to personalize. I am not pushing you or anyone else. I am pushing myself for myself. I deserve that much. Anyway, information — for me — is a coping strategy. Just as important and valid as leaving my lights on to feel better. I also happen to believe that information to reduce fear is healthier than popping a pill or creating another behaviour that I will have to eventually break a dependence to. Information will stay with me and be used any situation. Coping behaviours are limited in the scope of their use. Sad that we disagree on this.
Response:
Crafty Bernardo wrote: > Just remember where you are and that we are all, including you, at > different places in our lives. PTSD can create volatile reactions, > triggers abound. > Rick
I think I do understand that, hence my questions of what boundaries I should be aware of. That doesn’t change the fact that I still will continue to push to get the help that does make me feel better and improve the quality of my life.
Response:
Crafty Bernardo wrote: > I don’t think that we are all the same and are certainly not at the > same places. Nothing wrong with wanting to get better, but we are all > individuals with abundant triggers. > Rick
An if no one will tell which lines I am crossing, or why my comments are provocative it will likely continue to happen. I can’t read people’s minds.
Response:
In article <39E33CAD.253F3…@home.com>, Ron Nicholson <ba…@home.com> wrote: > I seem to be triggering people left right and > centre. > Would someone care to write a brief comment > on what support is as it pertains to this > group.
The reaction of some here has been abit unusual. What everyone must understand is that this is a public forum. If someone is so easily triggered by stuff that is written here then they should not be reading this group. Not everyone considers what they write to be triggering, so they don’t always include spoilers. It’s up to each individual what they read and post. People here must also understand that when a new person discovers this ng they may be so elated at having found others with PTSD that they have a million questions and in the absence of an FAQ they will ask questions that experienced posters may not like. It is up to each individual how they respond. If they feared that you were a "researcher" then they should refrain from responding to your posts until it becomes apparent that you are or are not a researcher. The idea of a support forum is to do as I believe you pointed out in another post – to discuss how our lives are affected, how we deal with certain problems or to just vent our frustrations. This cannot be done without some references from time to time about a persons’ trauma. It is also prudent to treat others here as you would like to be treated – all too often people forget that there are real people on the other side of these letters and can be downright mean at times. This is a public support forum. Nobody can tell you what you can and cannot post unless it is obviouly insulting, hateful or degrading on purpose. .. Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/ Before you buy.
Response:
I seem to be triggering people left right and centre. Would someone care to write a brief comment on what support is as it pertains to this group.
Response:
Ron Nicholson <ba…@home.com> wrote in message
news:39E33CAD.253F3B06@home.com… > I seem to be triggering people left right and > centre.
actually, you do not have the power to trigger me. > Would someone care to write a brief comment > on what support is as it pertains to this > group.
no, i, for one, would not care to write such a comment. carole – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
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