Trauma – PTSD

Question:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->I have both but I wonder if it really is PTSD only. I grew up in a very >dysfunctional home and witnessed traumatic events and was on the >receiving end of many, all at the hands of adults or teens which >occurred mainly between the ages of 5-9. So my fear of certain people >was legitimate as a child, trouble is I get these PTSD anxiety attacks >still to this day (I’m 46). I can get highly anxious around people and >for many years could only work at jobs where I was alone. When I hear >loud voices, groups of people talking together or people in authority >like a boss or anybody I sense has poor boundaries, poses a threat to >me, just like it did as a child and I have an anxiety attack. It’s like >I’m still reacting to these situations the same way, like I’m a helpless >child even though I’m an adult. When people behave in ways that remind >me of those times as a child or situations where I don’t feel in control >it triggers the panic. I use Cognitive-Behavioral techniques to some >effect and go to an anxiety disorder support group and an adult child of >alcoholics support group. I wish I could stop reacting like this. Maybe >I have social anxiety disorder but it wouldn’t have gotten so bad had I >not grown up in such a traumatic home? Who knows what came first. >Robert >P.S. this link was the first time I read of a connection between the >two. >Social Avoidance And PTSD:

Robert, I am still in the recovery phase.  I use anti-anxiety/anti-depression meds. One is Librium, the other is Seroquel.  I see a neuropsychiatrist and a neuropsychologist. My most recent "triggers" were my father’s heart attack almost 3 years ago and his subsuquent death and dealing with a psycholgically disabled mother who had to be placed in a nursing home because of her psychiatric problems.  It is all still going on.  Mom flipped out and went into a mental hospital when I was age 3 1/2.  She was never "right" which allowed Columbine type of situations throughout my school career.  Dad was abusive to both of us.  Certain triggers for me have been the Columbine shootings, saving a man’s life with my Boy Scout training, Dad’s heart attack – enough stuff to enable me to get a diagnosis.  I am going to have another appointment with my neuropsychologist next Tuesday.  One thing I can emphasize is to have a good team of professionals to work with. Fred in denver

Response:

Hi Robert, I can relate to what you wrote as  my childhood situation was similar.  For me, the anxiety came from feeling that I always had to be on stand-by alert statis…always always always had to be prepared for whatever anyone could throw at me.  Not fun.  I’ve learned to trust people more these days and that has helped a lot but there are still times when the ole habits pop up and sometimes I just trust that….that maybe some situation/people are not safe to be around…that the inner child in me knows that "something" isn’t right…so I exit.  There are functions that I just do not attend any longer and I’ve tried to fill that void with other things…. like work and church.   Self talk also helped me….reminding myself that I am no longer a child who has to sit back and take the abuse. I can DO something about it these days. Maybe the social anxiety comes because of the fear that it will throw you into ptsd?  I know it’s worked that way for me. Sorry for your hard life lessons but glad you found this ng. Donna "Robert D" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I have both but I wonder if it really is PTSD only. I grew up in a very > dysfunctional home and witnessed traumatic events and was on the > receiving end of many, all at the hands of adults or teens which > occurred mainly between the ages of 5-9. So my fear of certain people > was legitimate as a child, trouble is I get these PTSD anxiety attacks > still to this day (I’m 46). I can get highly anxious around people and > for many years could only work at jobs where I was alone. When I hear > loud voices, groups of people talking together or people in authority > like a boss or anybody I sense has poor boundaries, poses a threat to > me, just like it did as a child and I have an anxiety attack. It’s like > I’m still reacting to these situations the same way, like I’m a helpless > child even though I’m an adult. When people behave in ways that remind > me of those times as a child or situations where I don’t feel in control > it triggers the panic. I use Cognitive-Behavioral techniques to some > effect and go to an anxiety disorder support group and an adult child of > alcoholics support group. I wish I could stop reacting like this. Maybe > I have social anxiety disorder but it wouldn’t have gotten so bad had I > not grown up in such a traumatic home? Who knows what came first. > Robert > P.S. this link was the first time I read of a connection between the > two. > Social Avoidance And PTSD: > http://www.ncptsd.org/publications/cq/v7/n3/orsillo.html

Response:

Hi Robert! > I have both but I wonder if it really is PTSD only.

                ————snip———- > trouble is I get these PTSD anxiety attacks

Does it really matter in the long run from where my or your personal symptoms arise? The symptoms just are! Control IME is illusionary.  Giving up the image of control of events around me and concentrating on events inside me has been another one of those growth experiences (that I am sometimes so tired and angry about). :/ Once I learned to accept myself and my symptoms as ‘who I am’, the symptoms lessened and I became different: less anxiety was a major change. Yesterday, I could even laugh with the others in the room at my dentist’s office when he said something about my paranoia being strong, still.  I thought that he had found yet another cavity. :/ (PTSD has really taken its toll on my mouth, and at 60 I’m still dealing with cavities ????) The important part of recovering IME is learning better self-care.   Sounds to me like you are working on this also.  Every little bit of 12 Step and other support groups is important in self-care for me. YMMV   Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

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