Question:
>Did the ‘mother thing’ get fixed?? >td
For now it is fixed. She will appear again at a time of her own choosing. Until she dies I won’t be free from her or her craziness. Risa The quickest way to Medicare and Social Security system reform is to force elected officials to use those systems when THEY retire.
Response:
>I am very sensitive to criticism…..I feel as though, even >constructive, it is a direct attack on my…..I don’t defend myself, >just limp away and suffer in silence….is this a characteristic of >ptsd?
Hmm……not for me. When I need to defend myself now, I do it without even thinking, sometimes with little tact at all. Maybe this is due to years of keeping things *stuffed* inside. I just can’t keep it in anymore. Best, Luanne http://members.aol.com/luannep/adoption.htm
Response:
Hi Risa, Ha, yea, afraid of going sane! I like that. Thanks for the smile you just put on my face! Oh yes, I understand and do the same. But, for the most part, they know me to be very patient and a peaceful person. Z55 RisaCaitlin <risacait…@aol.competent> wrote in message
news:20030119230048.11413.00000200@mb-ch.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Z, > >Anybody else feel that way, like you’re gonna go crazy… > I’m more worried that I’ll go sane. I make sure anyone I work with knows I’m > mental so they don’t cross the line and I have a good excuse to shut myself > alone when they get on my nerves. > Risa > Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
Response:
Hi Z, Yeah, I’ve been hidin out too…….don’t think I’ve been out of the house much since well before Christmas……. I can look back on that dinner now and see the ‘odd humor’ in it, but at the time it really shook me up. That was my first full blown panic attack out in public. Of course there have been more since, so it’s not as much of a shock as that one was. I also went through a rough period of cutting myself, my wrists and arms, never deep enough to leave scars…….just enough to watch myself bleed. It was like some sort of release for the pain. Lately I’ve been thinking about that a lot again, thought it was behind me but…….. guess when things get too rough it rares it’s ugly head once again. Life without fear……man that’s such a long time ago……such a short period of time in my life. After I got out of the house, away from the abuse……and had a number of years recuperation……successfully buried everything deep inside, I did have a couple a years without the debilitating fear……but then I fell apart…….and the fear came back in spades…….been here ever since. It’s supposed to maybe snow here a bit tomorrow night again, sure hope we don’t get any more of that lousy ice. best wishes, td "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:%OiX9.61756$Ik.2349918@typhoon.sonic.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi td, > Yes, long time no smoke from my campfire, I’ve been holed up in my tent > isolating. I can only imagine the strength it took for you to go to the > dinner in the first place. I get all panicky prior to social events. But, > once there sometimes I can manage through it, sometimes not. Thank goodness > you were sitting next to a guy who had some sense to just get you out of > there. The idea of crawling under the table or going over the top could be > funny if it were in a movie, but the reality of being at a dinner involving > your husband’s dinner and feeling trapped isn’t is it. I’m proud of you for > going, and for how long you were able to manage. > That last part, yes, I ultimately only hurt myself if possible. I’ve read > that as women we tend to turn our hopelessness, frustration, anger inward. > But still, I think we have an inner fire that burns, one that is in the > depths of our souls telling us we DO have a right to live without fear. > Z55 > tiny dancer <tinydancer…@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message > news:cxNW9.80347$Mb.2756476@twister.southeast.rr.com… > > Hi Z, > > (((((((((Z)))))))) ’s for you too. Long time no see, ‘eh? Man can I > > relate, I’ve done that same thing…..telling myself to just hold on a > > little longer. I remember doing that at a business dinner once…my > > husbands business I mean. I was sitting there telling myself, "you can do > > this, just eat a little bit, soon it will be over, hang in there, yadda > > yadda yadda…….till everyone was just about done eating and I thought I > > was home free……..and then some idiot got up in front of the > > crowd……this was a big dinner…over 100 people…..and says…….’it > > was time for speeches’……..well I lost it then. I knew there was no > way > > I’d make it any further………. I used it all up getting through the > damn > > dinner. I remember thinking ‘I’ll just crawl under the tables to get out > of > > here’……..we were at long tables, scrunched up tight……….but I > > looked under the table and there were all these feet and the tablecloths > > made it really dark under there. So I decided I’d just climb up on top of > > the table and walk outta there right over the empty plates of food and > all. > > Luckily I still had a bit of rational thought…….looked around me and > > decided all those people would be watching me climb up on the table to get > > out of there. So I finally grabbed the guy sitting next to me’s arm and > > said "I"ve got to get out of here RIGHT NOW." Guess he must’ve seen ‘that > > look’ in my eyes/on my face…….cuz he didn’t question me for one > second, > > he just stood up………made a path for us……and lead me out of > > there…….right outside the restaurant even. He didn’t stop till we > were > > outside where he leaned me up against the building and put his suit coat > > around me, it was winter time. > > When I’m really stressed I feel lots of times like I’ll go crazy, but the > > only person I ever think about hurting is myself. > > Hang in there Z………it’s got to get better, hell, it can’t get much > > worse. > > take care, > > td > > "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > > news:7vJW9.61507$Ik.2312716@typhoon.sonic.net… > > > Hi td, > > > ((((((( hug )))))))))) > > > I haven’t been able to work since the holidays, and my last day I was at > > > work people were grouchy because of their own stress. Sharp responses, > > > frustration being vented. I kept telling myself to hold on for just > > another > > > hour, just another half hour. By the end of the day I was getting the > > > feeling I was about to lose control, lose my mind, lose my own > > > temper……… I get scared that I may be violent if I lose my temper. > > > Anybody else feel that way, like you’re gonna go crazy……. ? > > > Z55 > > > tiny dancer <tinydancer…@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message > > > news:zLpW9.91946$kY3.4947125@twister.southeast.rr.com… > > > > "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > > > > news:DVoW9.61423$Ik.2292892@typhoon.sonic.net… > > > > > Hi ya’ll, > > > > > Yep, I’m hypersensitive as well, but there are times when instead of > > > > getting > > > > > my feelings hurt to the core, I go completely emotionally blank and > > give > > > a > > > > > deadpan reply – polite but the lack of emotion expresses a shut down > > to > > > > the > > > > > other person. If they’re smart they’ll leave well enough alone at > > that > > > > > point. :/ > > > > > Z55 > > > > Me too on the sensitivity…….lately I find myself just bursting > into > > > > tears at the least bit of negative ‘feelings’ ……….let alone > > outright > > > > criticism. > > > > td > > > > > Elrod <fl…@pacbell.net> wrote in message > > > > > news:c_zU9.2219$JW.405216391@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com… > > > > > > I’ve been very defensive. > > > > > > I think it has to do with that ol’ negative belief system about > > > myself.
Response:
Hi tiny, I first cut myself when I was just a kid. I have a lot of scars. Jesus, that was back in the mid-sixties. Then over the years it was a matter of doing it now and then. I didn’t know why, and certainly never told anyone. I never dreamed that others did it also, never thought anyone could ever understand. How could they when I didn’t my own self? Now it only happens when I’m under extremely severe stress that I cut myself, and I mean extremely severe. In the interim there’s scratches and brusises that occur just from working in the yard or whatever. I sometimes wonder if the little burn on my hand or scratch is truly accidental…. ? I managed to survive a multitude of various traumas in my life so far, but fell apart two years ago and am still trying to pick myself up. I’ve learned a hell of a lot in these last two years, a good deal from this newsgroup. Right now I’m not able to work. My disability ran out last year and I’ve been trying my best to manage on the two days a week my doctor OK’d me for. Thankfully my partner works and has me on health insurance. But now, I don’t know what to do now that I can’t pull it together to work. Just lost my t on new year’s eve, my boss, co-workers, family are telling me to look into going on social security. I don’t know which way to turn :/ We’ve had rain. Snow is kinda scary to me as I’ve never lived in it. Brrrrrrr!!!!!!! My sister lives in snow country. Is teaching my nephew to drive in it……… brave woman! Ha! She was talking about black ice the other day, I joked and told her I thought Black Ice was a rapper! :) Z55 tiny dancer <tinydancer…@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:qUoX9.109622$kY3.6209643@twister.southeast.rr.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Z, > Yeah, I’ve been hidin out too…….don’t think I’ve been out of the house > much since well before Christmas……. I can look back on that dinner now > and see the ‘odd humor’ in it, but at the time it really shook me up. That > was my first full blown panic attack out in public. Of course there have > been more since, so it’s not as much of a shock as that one was. > I also went through a rough period of cutting myself, my wrists and arms, > never deep enough to leave scars…….just enough to watch myself bleed. > It was like some sort of release for the pain. Lately I’ve been thinking > about that a lot again, thought it was behind me but…….. guess when > things get too rough it rares it’s ugly head once again. > Life without fear……man that’s such a long time ago……such a short > period of time in my life. After I got out of the house, away from the > abuse……and had a number of years recuperation……successfully buried > everything deep inside, I did have a couple a years without the debilitating > fear……but then I fell apart…….and the fear came back in > spades…….been here ever since. > It’s supposed to maybe snow here a bit tomorrow night again, sure hope we > don’t get any more of that lousy ice. > best wishes, > td > "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > news:%OiX9.61756$Ik.2349918@typhoon.sonic.net… > > Hi td, > > Yes, long time no smoke from my campfire, I’ve been holed up in my tent > > isolating. I can only imagine the strength it took for you to go to the > > dinner in the first place. I get all panicky prior to social events. > But, > > once there sometimes I can manage through it, sometimes not. Thank > goodness > > you were sitting next to a guy who had some sense to just get you out of > > there. The idea of crawling under the table or going over the top could > be > > funny if it were in a movie, but the reality of being at a dinner > involving > > your husband’s dinner and feeling trapped isn’t is it. I’m proud of you > for > > going, and for how long you were able to manage. > > That last part, yes, I ultimately only hurt myself if possible. I’ve read > > that as women we tend to turn our hopelessness, frustration, anger inward. > > But still, I think we have an inner fire that burns, one that is in the > > depths of our souls telling us we DO have a right to live without fear. > > Z55 > > tiny dancer <tinydancer…@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message > > news:cxNW9.80347$Mb.2756476@twister.southeast.rr.com… > > > Hi Z, > > > (((((((((Z)))))))) ’s for you too. Long time no see, ‘eh? Man can I > > > relate, I’ve done that same thing…..telling myself to just hold on a > > > little longer. I remember doing that at a business dinner once…my > > > husbands business I mean. I was sitting there telling myself, "you can > do > > > this, just eat a little bit, soon it will be over, hang in there, yadda > > > yadda yadda…….till everyone was just about done eating and I thought > I > > > was home free……..and then some idiot got up in front of the > > > crowd……this was a big dinner…over 100 people…..and > says…….’it > > > was time for speeches’……..well I lost it then. I knew there was no > > way > > > I’d make it any further………. I used it all up getting through the > > damn > > > dinner. I remember thinking ‘I’ll just crawl under the tables to get > out > > of > > > here’……..we were at long tables, scrunched up tight……….but I > > > looked under the table and there were all these feet and the tablecloths > > > made it really dark under there. So I decided I’d just climb up on top > of > > > the table and walk outta there right over the empty plates of food and > > all. > > > Luckily I still had a bit of rational thought…….looked around me and > > > decided all those people would be watching me climb up on the table to > get > > > out of there. So I finally grabbed the guy sitting next to me’s arm and > > > said "I"ve got to get out of here RIGHT NOW." Guess he must’ve seen > ‘that > > > look’ in my eyes/on my face…….cuz he didn’t question me for one > > second, > > > he just stood up………made a path for us……and lead me out of > > > there…….right outside the restaurant even. He didn’t stop till we > > were > > > outside where he leaned me up against the building and put his suit coat > > > around me, it was winter time. > > > When I’m really stressed I feel lots of times like I’ll go crazy, but > the > > > only person I ever think about hurting is myself. > > > Hang in there Z………it’s got to get better, hell, it can’t get much > > > worse. > > > take care, > > > td > > > "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > > > news:7vJW9.61507$Ik.2312716@typhoon.sonic.net… > > > > Hi td, > > > > ((((((( hug )))))))))) > > > > I haven’t been able to work since the holidays, and my last day I was > at > > > > work people were grouchy because of their own stress. Sharp > responses, > > > > frustration being vented. I kept telling myself to hold on for just > > > another > > > > hour, just another half hour. By the end of the day I was getting the > > > > feeling I was about to lose control, lose my mind, lose my own > > > > temper……… I get scared that I may be violent if I lose my > temper. > > > > Anybody else feel that way, like you’re gonna go crazy……. ? > > > > Z55 > > > > tiny dancer <tinydancer…@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message > > > > news:zLpW9.91946$kY3.4947125@twister.southeast.rr.com… > > > > > "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > > > > > news:DVoW9.61423$Ik.2292892@typhoon.sonic.net… > > > > > > Hi ya’ll, > > > > > > Yep, I’m hypersensitive as well, but there are times when instead > of > > > > > getting > > > > > > my feelings hurt to the core, I go completely emotionally blank > and > > > give > > > > a > > > > > > deadpan reply – polite but the lack of emotion expresses a shut > down > > > to > > > > > the > > > > > > other person. If they’re smart they’ll leave well enough alone at > > > that > > > > > > point. :/ > > > > > > Z55 > > > > > Me too on the sensitivity…….lately I find myself just bursting > > into > > > > > tears at the least bit of negative ‘feelings’ ……….let alone > > > outright > > > > > criticism. > > > > > td > > > > > > Elrod <fl…@pacbell.net> wrote in message > > > > > > news:c_zU9.2219$JW.405216391@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com… > > > > > > > I’ve been very defensive. > > > > > > > I think it has to do with that ol’ negative belief system about > > > > myself.
Response:
I am very sensitive to criticism…..I feel as though, even constructive, it is a direct attack on my…..I don’t defend myself, just limp away and suffer in silence….is this a characteristic of ptsd? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -balik…@aol.comzipspam (BaliKris) wrote in message <news:20030113004156.02020.00000077@mb-fr.aol.com>… > Well I’m like that too…I’ve always had a hard time with criticism and the > perfectionist in me is the driving force. I’ve "grown out of" it a bit, but it > still does affect me. I’m ultra-sensitive to criticism nonetheless. I figure > its from being criticized so much and condemned as a kid, etc. I don’t know if > this is a personality trait or if its PTSD. Kind of like a chicken and egg > question huh? =/ > Kristine
Response:
Lefty, a lot depends on the meaning and motive for offering the criticism, you react with sensitivity to the critic with humanity and an attempt to understand, to reason, and often times those who have PTSD need more time to process the data then is available in normal conversation time; it is not a cause or reason to limp away and suffer in silence just something else to learn and understand if it is of any value to you, I shall end by telling you that after replying to your post I am often a very confused person but I have not developed a limp at least in my legs:) John De
Response:
Unfortunately, yes "( The main crux of PTSD is that the little "panic button" inside of us ~ the one that whistles up the flow of adrelalin, the "fight or flight" response, yadayadayada get stucks in the "on" position and even though there’s no discernable danger to fight or run from, the engine is all revved up and there’s no where to go. All your systems are on red alert so to say. — ******************************** The only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible ******************************* "Lefty" <left…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:b7020f22.0301270652.3cbe323c@posting.google.com… > I am very sensitive to criticism…..I feel as though, even > constructive, it is a direct attack on my…..I don’t defend myself, > just limp away and suffer in silence….is this a characteristic of > ptsd? > balik…@aol.comzipspam (BaliKris) wrote in message
<news:20030113004156.02020.00000077@mb-fr.aol.com>… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> > Well I’m like that too…I’ve always had a hard time with criticism and the > > perfectionist in me is the driving force. I’ve "grown out of" it a bit, but it > > still does affect me. I’m ultra-sensitive to criticism nonetheless. I figure > > its from being criticized so much and condemned as a kid, etc. I don’t know if > > this is a personality trait or if its PTSD. Kind of like a chicken and egg > > question huh? =/ > > Kristine
Response:
"RisaCaitlin" <risacait…@aol.competent> wrote in message
news:20030119230048.11413.00000200@mb-ch.aol.com… > Z, > >Anybody else feel that way, like you’re gonna go crazy… > I’m more worried that I’ll go sane. I make sure anyone I work with knows I’m > mental so they don’t cross the line and I have a good excuse to shut myself > alone when they get on my nerves.
Hi Risa, I like your style………that’s the way I like to work things too, let ‘em know I’m a bit nuts……..so they leave me alone when I need it. How are ya doin by the way?? Last we heard you’d been having some medical problems……you doin better?? Love the jokes and stuff by the way. 
td – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Risa > Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
Response:
td, I’m still having some problems, but I’m getting them worked out I hope. Nothing is killing me, so I’m lucky there. Sleeping more than I want, and then less than I need. Nothing too horrible. Risa Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
Response:
"RisaCaitlin" <risacait…@aol.competent> wrote in message
news:20030120182303.11175.00000238@mb-ch.aol.com… > td, > I’m still having some problems, but I’m getting them worked out I hope. > Nothing is killing me, so I’m lucky there. Sleeping more than I want, and then > less than I need. Nothing too horrible. > Risa
Did the ‘mother thing’ get fixed?? td – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
Response:
Hi td, Yes, long time no smoke from my campfire, I’ve been holed up in my tent isolating. I can only imagine the strength it took for you to go to the dinner in the first place. I get all panicky prior to social events. But, once there sometimes I can manage through it, sometimes not. Thank goodness you were sitting next to a guy who had some sense to just get you out of there. The idea of crawling under the table or going over the top could be funny if it were in a movie, but the reality of being at a dinner involving your husband’s dinner and feeling trapped isn’t is it. I’m proud of you for going, and for how long you were able to manage. That last part, yes, I ultimately only hurt myself if possible. I’ve read that as women we tend to turn our hopelessness, frustration, anger inward. But still, I think we have an inner fire that burns, one that is in the depths of our souls telling us we DO have a right to live without fear. Z55 tiny dancer <tinydancer…@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:cxNW9.80347$Mb.2756476@twister.southeast.rr.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Z, > (((((((((Z)))))))) ’s for you too. Long time no see, ‘eh? Man can I > relate, I’ve done that same thing…..telling myself to just hold on a > little longer. I remember doing that at a business dinner once…my > husbands business I mean. I was sitting there telling myself, "you can do > this, just eat a little bit, soon it will be over, hang in there, yadda > yadda yadda…….till everyone was just about done eating and I thought I > was home free……..and then some idiot got up in front of the > crowd……this was a big dinner…over 100 people…..and says…….’it > was time for speeches’……..well I lost it then. I knew there was no way > I’d make it any further………. I used it all up getting through the damn > dinner. I remember thinking ‘I’ll just crawl under the tables to get out of > here’……..we were at long tables, scrunched up tight……….but I > looked under the table and there were all these feet and the tablecloths > made it really dark under there. So I decided I’d just climb up on top of > the table and walk outta there right over the empty plates of food and all. > Luckily I still had a bit of rational thought…….looked around me and > decided all those people would be watching me climb up on the table to get > out of there. So I finally grabbed the guy sitting next to me’s arm and > said "I"ve got to get out of here RIGHT NOW." Guess he must’ve seen ‘that > look’ in my eyes/on my face…….cuz he didn’t question me for one second, > he just stood up………made a path for us……and lead me out of > there…….right outside the restaurant even. He didn’t stop till we were > outside where he leaned me up against the building and put his suit coat > around me, it was winter time. > When I’m really stressed I feel lots of times like I’ll go crazy, but the > only person I ever think about hurting is myself. > Hang in there Z………it’s got to get better, hell, it can’t get much > worse. > take care, > td > "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > news:7vJW9.61507$Ik.2312716@typhoon.sonic.net… > > Hi td, > > ((((((( hug )))))))))) > > I haven’t been able to work since the holidays, and my last day I was at > > work people were grouchy because of their own stress. Sharp responses, > > frustration being vented. I kept telling myself to hold on for just > another > > hour, just another half hour. By the end of the day I was getting the > > feeling I was about to lose control, lose my mind, lose my own > > temper……… I get scared that I may be violent if I lose my temper. > > Anybody else feel that way, like you’re gonna go crazy……. ? > > Z55 > > tiny dancer <tinydancer…@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message > > news:zLpW9.91946$kY3.4947125@twister.southeast.rr.com… > > > "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > > > news:DVoW9.61423$Ik.2292892@typhoon.sonic.net… > > > > Hi ya’ll, > > > > Yep, I’m hypersensitive as well, but there are times when instead of > > > getting > > > > my feelings hurt to the core, I go completely emotionally blank and > give > > a > > > > deadpan reply – polite but the lack of emotion expresses a shut down > to > > > the > > > > other person. If they’re smart they’ll leave well enough alone at > that > > > > point. :/ > > > > Z55 > > > Me too on the sensitivity…….lately I find myself just bursting into > > > tears at the least bit of negative ‘feelings’ ……….let alone > outright > > > criticism. > > > td > > > > Elrod <fl…@pacbell.net> wrote in message > > > > news:c_zU9.2219$JW.405216391@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com… > > > > > I’ve been very defensive. > > > > > I think it has to do with that ol’ negative belief system about > > myself.
Response:
Hi Z, (((((((((Z)))))))) ’s for you too. Long time no see, ‘eh? Man can I relate, I’ve done that same thing…..telling myself to just hold on a little longer. I remember doing that at a business dinner once…my husbands business I mean. I was sitting there telling myself, "you can do this, just eat a little bit, soon it will be over, hang in there, yadda yadda yadda…….till everyone was just about done eating and I thought I was home free……..and then some idiot got up in front of the crowd……this was a big dinner…over 100 people…..and says…….’it was time for speeches’……..well I lost it then. I knew there was no way I’d make it any further………. I used it all up getting through the damn dinner. I remember thinking ‘I’ll just crawl under the tables to get out of here’……..we were at long tables, scrunched up tight……….but I looked under the table and there were all these feet and the tablecloths made it really dark under there. So I decided I’d just climb up on top of the table and walk outta there right over the empty plates of food and all. Luckily I still had a bit of rational thought…….looked around me and decided all those people would be watching me climb up on the table to get out of there. So I finally grabbed the guy sitting next to me’s arm and said "I"ve got to get out of here RIGHT NOW." Guess he must’ve seen ‘that look’ in my eyes/on my face…….cuz he didn’t question me for one second, he just stood up………made a path for us……and lead me out of there…….right outside the restaurant even. He didn’t stop till we were outside where he leaned me up against the building and put his suit coat around me, it was winter time. When I’m really stressed I feel lots of times like I’ll go crazy, but the only person I ever think about hurting is myself. Hang in there Z………it’s got to get better, hell, it can’t get much worse. take care, td "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:7vJW9.61507$Ik.2312716@typhoon.sonic.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi td, > ((((((( hug )))))))))) > I haven’t been able to work since the holidays, and my last day I was at > work people were grouchy because of their own stress. Sharp responses, > frustration being vented. I kept telling myself to hold on for just another > hour, just another half hour. By the end of the day I was getting the > feeling I was about to lose control, lose my mind, lose my own > temper……… I get scared that I may be violent if I lose my temper. > Anybody else feel that way, like you’re gonna go crazy……. ? > Z55 > tiny dancer <tinydancer…@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message > news:zLpW9.91946$kY3.4947125@twister.southeast.rr.com… > > "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > > news:DVoW9.61423$Ik.2292892@typhoon.sonic.net… > > > Hi ya’ll, > > > Yep, I’m hypersensitive as well, but there are times when instead of > > getting > > > my feelings hurt to the core, I go completely emotionally blank and give > a > > > deadpan reply – polite but the lack of emotion expresses a shut down to > > the > > > other person. If they’re smart they’ll leave well enough alone at that > > > point. :/ > > > Z55 > > Me too on the sensitivity…….lately I find myself just bursting into > > tears at the least bit of negative ‘feelings’ ……….let alone outright > > criticism. > > td > > > Elrod <fl…@pacbell.net> wrote in message > > > news:c_zU9.2219$JW.405216391@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com… > > > > I’ve been very defensive. > > > > I think it has to do with that ol’ negative belief system about > myself.
Response:
I have found that I am so sensitive to criticism, that it’s closer to a persecution complex. I have a new boss and she is very critical and authoritative. She had several times brought me into her office to tell me that I did something wrong. Well, her criticism feels like I’m getting beaten up. I go home and cringe and cry. I have just recently recognized how severe this is depending on the personality/demeanor of the person doing the criticism. If they are not warm and caring when they criticize me, I take it to a whole other place of ’she hates me’. I have a big ’she/he hates me complex. The good news is that I figured out that it’s really me, not her who has the problem. I am finally able to consciously able to process criticism now more objectively. For so long, I let my self esteem be determined by others, like if you don’t like me, something has to be wrong with me then. Now I know that what other people say or do is about them, not me..even if directed at me. Wow, what a revelation. Anybody relating to this is welcome to comment. Tell me that I"m not the only one like this 
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Well I’m like that too…I’ve always had a hard time with criticism and the perfectionist in me is the driving force. I’ve "grown out of" it a bit, but it still does affect me. I’m ultra-sensitive to criticism nonetheless. I figure its from being criticized so much and condemned as a kid, etc. I don’t know if this is a personality trait or if its PTSD. Kind of like a chicken and egg question huh? =/ Kristine
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Hi gang; Since ‘people pleasing’ , as well as ‘perfectionism’, seems to be character traits of PTSD sufferers, it is not surprising to hear. After thinking about it, I also suffer from the same malady. That’s one good thing about being self employed, as if anyone differs with my opinion, then they can find the door. If they cannot, I’m usually ready to help them This approach does not work real well with employers. That is one reason why I’m real hesitant, I suppose, to go to work for someone else. I do not fear failure, or rejection, but fear being myself. I’m not such a bad sort, but I have very strong opinions about most things I deal with, and am not easily swayed in my opinions. Again, this is not conducive to good relations with most employers. Geeeeesh, now you have me really thinking:-) J. David Phillips flmf…@tampabay.rr.com "BaliKris" <balik…@aol.comzipspam> wrote in message
news:20030113004156.02020.00000077@mb-fr.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Well I’m like that too…I’ve always had a hard time with criticism and the > perfectionist in me is the driving force.
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"cc0058529" <scully…@comcast.net> wrote in message
news:loGcndbVRZegk7-jXTWcpQ@comcast.com… > The good news is that I figured out that it’s really me, not her who has the > problem. I am finally able to consciously able to process criticism now more > objectively. For so long, I let my self esteem be determined by others, like > if you don’t like me, something has to be wrong with me then. Now I know > that what other people say or do is about them, not me..even if directed at > me. Wow, what a revelation. Anybody relating to this is welcome to comment. > Tell me that I"m not the only one like this
I always have to do everything right the first time, and when I get it wrong, it cuts. But the overriding thing which helps me is that our family mottoo is "if you’ve done it, cop it sweet". So if I’m wrong, and I’m called on it, I dont’ like it ,but I can deal with it. If OTOH I’m an innocent party, I’m not easy to deal with. Everyone sees their own lives and actions through their own eyes. A big lesson for me ( and I see you’re getting it too) is that it isn’t all about you. As much as I wish for people to accept me for what I am, I know I have to struggle with accepting them for who they are. Ruth
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I’ve been very defensive. I think it has to do with that ol’ negative belief system about myself.
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Hi ya’ll, Yep, I’m hypersensitive as well, but there are times when instead of getting my feelings hurt to the core, I go completely emotionally blank and give a deadpan reply – polite but the lack of emotion expresses a shut down to the other person. If they’re smart they’ll leave well enough alone at that point. :/ Z55 Elrod <fl…@pacbell.net> wrote in message
news:c_zU9.2219$JW.405216391@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I’ve been very defensive. > I think it has to do with that ol’ negative belief system about myself.
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"Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:DVoW9.61423$Ik.2292892@typhoon.sonic.net… > Hi ya’ll, > Yep, I’m hypersensitive as well, but there are times when instead of getting > my feelings hurt to the core, I go completely emotionally blank and give a > deadpan reply – polite but the lack of emotion expresses a shut down to the > other person. If they’re smart they’ll leave well enough alone at that > point. :/ > Z55
Me too on the sensitivity…….lately I find myself just bursting into tears at the least bit of negative ‘feelings’ ……….let alone outright criticism. td – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Elrod <fl…@pacbell.net> wrote in message > news:c_zU9.2219$JW.405216391@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com… > > I’ve been very defensive. > > I think it has to do with that ol’ negative belief system about myself.
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Hi td, ((((((( hug )))))))))) I haven’t been able to work since the holidays, and my last day I was at work people were grouchy because of their own stress. Sharp responses, frustration being vented. I kept telling myself to hold on for just another hour, just another half hour. By the end of the day I was getting the feeling I was about to lose control, lose my mind, lose my own temper……… I get scared that I may be violent if I lose my temper. Anybody else feel that way, like you’re gonna go crazy……. ? Z55 tiny dancer <tinydancer…@nospamhotmail.com> wrote in message
news:zLpW9.91946$kY3.4947125@twister.southeast.rr.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "Z55" <Zzon…@hotmail.com> wrote in message > news:DVoW9.61423$Ik.2292892@typhoon.sonic.net… > > Hi ya’ll, > > Yep, I’m hypersensitive as well, but there are times when instead of > getting > > my feelings hurt to the core, I go completely emotionally blank and give a > > deadpan reply – polite but the lack of emotion expresses a shut down to > the > > other person. If they’re smart they’ll leave well enough alone at that > > point. :/ > > Z55 > Me too on the sensitivity…….lately I find myself just bursting into > tears at the least bit of negative ‘feelings’ ……….let alone outright > criticism. > td > > Elrod <fl…@pacbell.net> wrote in message > > news:c_zU9.2219$JW.405216391@newssvr13.news.prodigy.com… > > > I’ve been very defensive. > > > I think it has to do with that ol’ negative belief system about myself.
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Z, >Anybody else feel that way, like you’re gonna go crazy…
I’m more worried that I’ll go sane. I make sure anyone I work with knows I’m mental so they don’t cross the line and I have a good excuse to shut myself alone when they get on my nerves. Risa Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
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