Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Ok Risa! > EVERY SINGLE TOPIC WILL TRIGGER SOMEONE IN THE GROUP. > Why, then, would anyone go to a group when there is a better than average > chance of being triggered? I know what my answer to this question is. Does > anyone have any theories, opinions, insights, revelations, or ephiphanies?

It’s not an epiphany, but I know that I first found this group when I was told that my behaviors and thought patterns were like the rest of the PTSD world.  I have ended up finding out a lot about myself by observing others, and, thus, have managed to ‘miss’ making some mistakes.  Thank you all for being mirrors! > And my other question is how do people revisit the site or people where the > traumas happened without going bonkers? Vets go back to the places they fought > the wars. Abuse survivors go visit their families. Rape survivors go back to > their homes. Accident victims drive their cars again, down the same streets. (I > know these are generalizations.) Where are the triggers?

Well, I felt compelled to revisit my family; with a therapist’s help (and a couple of convenient deaths) I’ve gotten over this one.  Ditto with the compulsion of visiting The Wall, both traveling and in DC; I’m still not over it and right now get triggered by all the Johnny-come-latelies with their flags in their front yards, on their cars etc.  I have no plans to revisit Augusta, GA. For me, there has always been a problem of revisiting and rewriting herstory; sometimes, I still don’t believe that what happened actually happened. OTOH, I guess that I shouldn’t feel too badly about this compulsion to rewrite my life.  Historians seem to do it to whole countries and centuries in text books … every day.  Perhaps this is the human condition. :/ Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

OTOH, I guess that I shouldn’t feel too badly about this compulsion to rewrite my life.  Historians seem to do it to whole countries and centuries in text books … every day.  Perhaps this is the human condition. :/ Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy Sure is!! We all want the truth!! The truth seems to change according to more or less information and according to perception and fashions of thought at the given moment or era doesn’t it? Helski

Response:

Thanks for your enlightening reply, Risa! (I answer before I read the following posts, just so you know it.) (And following my new therapeuthic measure, I won’t use quotes in order to de-confuse the conversation.) Your headline suggestion was great, and I’ll follow it. Right here, I’ll immediately break my own new rule about not quoting, simply because your list is so good, it can’t be quoted too often. This is Risa’s list: > If you get a negative response to your post, you have the option to: > 1. ignore the response > 2. flame the respondent personally > 3. restate your position > 4. clarify your message > 5. supply more information > 6. talk about a related subject > 7. leave the newsgroup > 8. stew for awhile, then rehash old threads in anger > 9. query the respondent about their reply > 10. lurk > 11. ask someone else for their opinion > etc.

I think you’re absolutely right in your conclusion that in an NG such as this one, and in order for it to be really supportive, it will have to touch on things that will trigger somebody. The other alternative is to discuss things that don’t matter to anybody, such as making a survey over how many lumps of sugar we take in our coffee. Oh, wait: That won’t work -that would trigger those of us who are overweight…;-) In answer to your question: I know why I go to a group where there’s a fair chance of being triggered. I *want* to be triggered in a way: I know that there’s no closeness where there’s no feeling. There are a thousand things I want to know about this thing we suffer from, and all of you sit on information that might help me, give me another angle, teach me something new…you already have, probably each and every one of you. If I’m angry, it’s because something someone has said set’s something off in *me*: If I find out what that thing is, I’ve won back part of me. That’s why I’m here…persistantly. There’s just such a very much higher chance, statistically, that someone in this group has the answer to my question, than that I should figure it out for myself. And in the meantime, I might be able to help somebody else along the way…who knows. Lotte

Response:

Food for thought Risa. Thanks helski

Response:

I went to group knowing that it would trigger and exhaust every Monday for three years, we even went into the woods on overnighters just to howl at moon. Why, because it was work that had to be done for yourself and for the group, it developed a level of knowledge and trust, it worked and opened other avenues of thought for discussion and management for everyday current issues, Any Help would be appreciated, John De

Response:

Lotte, (This post started out to you, and changed to a general post. Take nothing personally that is not about you.) >I think it’s very hard to figure out what >triggers > people,

Not your responsibility. Thank your higher power! You only have to be responsible for you and your triggers. If you are concerned that a topic you want to discuss might be intense or graphic, you could make a subject line such as: Discussion of Door Dreams…graphic. Anyone who knows doors are a trigger for them and opens the thread anyway is choosing to trigger themself. Your stated topic is clear. As far as I know, everyone here that posts is over 18. (I can’t say if there are any minors who lurk. If there are, I hope they have parental supervision and/or guidance.) Adults are expected to take care of themself when adequate information is provided in advance. In another thread, Nancy wrote: >Start a thread on any topic which interests you.  The folks who also are >interested in the topic will post an answer.  If no one answers, then no one >else cares about it … at this time.

I would say slightly differently, If no one answers, then no one else is ready to talk about it … at this time. If you get a negative response to your post, you have the option to: 1. ignore the response 2. flame the respondent personally 3. restate your position 4. clarify your message 5. supply more information 6. talk about a related subject 7. leave the newsgroup 8. stew for awhile, then rehash old threads in anger 9. query the respondent about their reply 10. lurk 11. ask someone else for their opinion etc. Any one of us has the option to choose when, how, and what our response will be. I know that I’ve been triggered by some of the stuff I’ve read here. I would guess that not too many (if any) folks could tell you what those triggers are. I deal with them because they are mine to deal with. If I need help, I ask, but if I want to survive in the world, I have to learn to manage and deal with my triggers; those I know and that emerge as I uncover more of myself that was buried during childhood. I offer this to everyone as food for thought: Support groups by their very nature will be filled with triggers. People come to a support group to share common experiences with something that causes  pain or hardship. (No one goes to a coin collector’s support group. They go to a coin collector’s interest group.) What is shared are the difficult situations, thoughts, dreams, events. It’s not realistic to walk into the group expecting the topics to be emotionally neutral. EVERY SINGLE TOPIC WILL TRIGGER SOMEONE IN THE GROUP. Why, then, would anyone go to a group when there is a better than average chance of being triggered? I know what my answer to this question is. Does anyone have any theories, opinions, insights, revelations, or ephiphanies? And my other question is how do people revisit the site or people where the traumas happened without going bonkers? Vets go back to the places they fought the wars. Abuse survivors go visit their families. Rape survivors go back to their homes. Accident victims drive their cars again, down the same streets. (I know these are generalizations.) Where are the triggers? Awaiting some interesting discussion… Risa My cats only let me live here because I pay the rent.

Response:

Hi Risa, I have a great deal on my mind right now and just not able to say all the things I would like to. But I do want to thank you for this post. I have copied it so I can read it again when I am in a better space. again. Thank you, ~Kat – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->Subject: Responsibility for Triggers… >Path: lobby!ngtf-m01.news.aol.com!audrey05.news.aol.com!not-for-mail >Lines: 80 >X-Admin: n…@aol.com >From: risacait…@aol.comedian  (RisaCaitlin) >Newsgroups: alt.support.trauma-ptsd >Date: 28 Feb 2002 18:12:59 GMT >Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com >Message-ID: <20020228131259.20932.00001…@mb-cg.aol.com> >Lotte, >(This post started out to you, and changed to a general post. Take nothing >personally that is not about you.) >>I think it’s very hard to figure out what >>triggers >> people, >Not your responsibility. Thank your higher power! You only have to be >responsible for you and your triggers. If you are concerned that a topic you >want to discuss might be intense or graphic, you could make a subject line >such >as: >Discussion of Door Dreams…graphic. >Anyone who knows doors are a trigger for them and opens the thread anyway is >choosing to trigger themself. Your stated topic is clear. As far as I know, >everyone here that posts is over 18. (I can’t say if there are any minors who >lurk. If there are, I hope they have parental supervision and/or guidance.) >Adults are expected to take care of themself when adequate information is >provided in advance. >In another thread, Nancy wrote: >>Start a thread on any topic which interests you.  The folks who also are >>interested in the topic will post an answer.  If no one answers, then no one >>else cares about it … at this time. >I would say slightly differently, If no one answers, then no one else is >ready >to talk about it … at this time. >If you get a negative response to your post, you have the option to: >1. ignore the response >2. flame the respondent personally >3. restate your position >4. clarify your message >5. supply more information >6. talk about a related subject >7. leave the newsgroup >8. stew for awhile, then rehash old threads in anger >9. query the respondent about their reply >10. lurk >11. ask someone else for their opinion >etc. >Any one of us has the option to choose when, how, and what our response will >be. I know that I’ve been triggered by some of the stuff I’ve read here. I >would guess that not too many (if any) folks could tell you what those >triggers >are. I deal with them because they are mine to deal with. If I need help, I >ask, but if I want to survive in the world, I have to learn to manage and >deal >with my triggers; those I know and that emerge as I uncover more of myself >that >was buried during childhood. >I offer this to everyone as food for thought: Support groups by their very >nature will be filled with triggers. People come to a support group to share >common experiences with something that causes  pain or hardship. (No one goes >to a coin collector’s support group. They go to a coin collector’s interest >group.) What is shared are the difficult situations, thoughts, dreams, >events. >It’s not realistic to walk into the group expecting the topics to be >emotionally neutral. >EVERY SINGLE TOPIC WILL TRIGGER SOMEONE IN THE GROUP. >Why, then, would anyone go to a group when there is a better than average >chance of being triggered? I know what my answer to this question is. Does >anyone have any theories, opinions, insights, revelations, or ephiphanies? >And my other question is how do people revisit the site or people where the >traumas happened without going bonkers? Vets go back to the places they >fought >the wars. Abuse survivors go visit their families. Rape survivors go back to >their homes. Accident victims drive their cars again, down the same streets. >(I >know these are generalizations.) Where are the triggers? >Awaiting some interesting discussion… >Risa >My cats only let me live here because I pay the rent.

Response:

Risa wrote: Why, then, would anyone go to a group when there is a better than

average chance of being triggered? I know what my  answer to this question is. Does anyone have any theories, opinions, insights,  revelations, or ephiphanies? AND: >Where are the triggers? First thing I can think of, because its something I deal with, is Repressed Memories.  Especially when it comes to seeing family (origins of abuse) and people (abusers) and CHOOSING to do those things. Repressed Memories can only speak for a part of this trigger question but they are a part I deal with regularly. The frustrating part is when I know I’m being triggered but have no idea why because I’ve forgotten so much of my childhood abuse and the many years of living it. This may not be a current answer or applicable to the question of returning to a ng that triggered someone, but it is part of the picture in real life for me. Kristine

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