Question:
Today I punched a hole in a wall in my house. I thought I couldnt get any worse but I did today. The cause was my boss, who called to break the news that I am surplus to requirements because a cop with ptsd is a danger to everyone. He will never know how close he came. The bastard. He will never know how close he came. This evening I am in a VERY fragile state. Have already smashed and damaged various items of furniture. Christ, I wish I could lay hands on my boss… If you don’t either have or understand ptsd don’t even bother replying to this posting and don’t even think about patronising me… I know where you live!…
Response:
On 5 Feb 1998, AndyElgin wrote: [Exits Lurk Mode] > Today I punched a hole in a wall in my house. I thought I couldnt get > any worse but I did today. The cause was my boss, who called to break > the news that I am surplus to requirements because a cop with ptsd is a > danger to everyone. He will never know how close he came. The bastard. > He will never know how close he came.
It would appear, your boss, was correct! > This evening I am in a VERY fragile state. Have already smashed and > damaged various items of furniture. Christ, I wish I could lay hands on > my boss… If you don’t either have or understand ptsd don’t even bother > replying to this posting and don’t even think about patronising me… I > know where you live!…
Patronising!? I think anything anyone says right now will appear to be patronising! However, I can sympathize with you! My circumstance is quite similar right at the moment – as I too work in the field of law enforcement, the only difference between you and me is I voluntarily removed myself! As for your threats, I’m at the point in my situation where I could take you up on it right about now…how far are you willing to go? Don’t tease me here because I have fantasies about someone like you taking my life! It would validate the fear and terror, hate and anger, pain and passion, shame and guilt, a certain nine year old I know felt 23 years ago – and from a cop to boot! Geesh, life doesn’t get much better than knowing your fantasies can possibly be realized! E-mail me, I’ll give you my address, I’ll even load the rifle for you! Otherwise, when you calm down maybe you should be finding ways to return to work instead of feeling sorry for yourself for a decision that appears to be wise and in your best interest! Beating up the furniture doesn’t cut it! Sorry for a post that appears to be insensitive but you are forgetting where you are posting! There are a lot of people here with a lot of ‘things’ they are trying to work through – coming on and threatening only serves, for me anyway, another avenue to push me further into the realms of my fantasies and further away from reality! [Back to Lurk Mode - something I've done most of my life - lurking, searching, waiting for someone to pull the damn trigger!]
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