Question:
Hi, guys, It’s me, Butterflies. Don’t ask about "Ronnie." The incredible comedic genius of Andy Kaufman is keenly captured in the Jim Carrey movie, "Man on the Moon." I watched it last night (on DVD, you gotta love DVD!) for the first time and was very impressed. I’ve seen Andy Kaufman do some of that stuff himself and more, and of course I’ve seen "Taxi," so I could make some sort of comparison between Carrey and Kaufman. Carrey was good. My brother fried the Hewlett Packard computer’s bios chip just before we went on vacation. I’ve been struggling along on the Internet since then at 19K, compliments of our older Packard Bell tower (the hard drive). Renfrew is in the works, but there may be a SNAFU. Now, when I asked my dad years ago what a "snafu" was, he told me it originated as a government term and meant "situation normal all fouled up." *I* looked it up myself a few years later in the dictionary and found that the "f" is technically for FUCKED. ;) I don’t even know exactly what the Renfrew snafu is, except it’s something about insurance and my primary care physician. The plan was for me to be admitted this coming Tuesday, but now it might be later. I won’t know until tomorrow. As you can imagine, this has kinda messed with my brain. I was mentally prepared to go on Tuesday, and if it’s going to be much later than that I may lose the nerve. spoiler… / / / / / / / / / / / I am not going to eat at Renfrew. Ensure is fine. NG feeding is fine. But no food. Food contaminates my body. It is poison. Besides, I want to be dead by the age of 30 anyways. That gives me…9 1/2 years, max, left of horrendous OCD, PTSD and flashbacks that floor me, purposelessnes, no energy, no interest in anything, excessive guilt for my existance, etc. I just want to waste away… Love, Butterflies ~In the event of rapture, this account will be unmanned. Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
Butterflies, I hate to burst your bubble, but you will have to eat at Renfrew, sweetie, if you don’t want to be kicked out of the program. Supplements are fine if you can’t finish, but the goal is to eat actual food, and it will be seen as "not conforming to the program" if you don’t. I know it is scary, but you will be with tons of other women who are terrified as well. Hang in there. Love, Catlover
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, guys, It’s me, Butterflies. Don’t ask about "Ronnie." The incredible comedic genius of Andy Kaufman is keenly captured in the Jim Carrey movie, "Man on the Moon." I watched it last night (on DVD, you gotta love DVD!) for the first time and was very impressed. I’ve seen Andy Kaufman do some of that stuff himself and more, and of course I’ve seen "Taxi," so I could make some sort of comparison between Carrey and Kaufman. Carrey was good. My brother fried the Hewlett Packard computer’s bios chip just before we went on vacation. I’ve been struggling along on the Internet since then at 19K, compliments of our older Packard Bell tower (the hard drive). Renfrew is in the works, but there may be a SNAFU. Now, when I asked my dad years ago what a "snafu" was, he told me it originated as a government term and meant "situation normal all fouled up." *I* looked it up myself a few years later in the dictionary and found that the "f" is technically for FUCKED. ;) I don’t even know exactly what the Renfrew snafu is, except it’s something about insurance and my primary care physician. The plan was for me to be admitted this coming Tuesday, but now it might be later. I won’t know until tomorrow. As you can imagine, this has kinda messed with my brain. I was mentally prepared to go on Tuesday, and if it’s going to be much later than that I may lose the nerve. spoiler… / / / / / / / / / / / I am not going to eat at Renfrew. Ensure is fine. NG feeding is fine. But no food. Food contaminates my body. It is poison. Besides, I want to be dead by the age of 30 anyways. That gives me…9 1/2 years, max, left of horrendous OCD, PTSD and flashbacks that floor me, purposelessnes, no energy, no interest in anything, excessive guilt for my existance, etc. I just want to waste away… Love, Butterflies ~In the event of rapture, this account will be unmanned. Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
Butterflies! Glad to see you back with us. Man On The Moon is a great film, huh? Jim Carey completely morphed himself for that one. Luck and well wishes, Meg Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
Hiya, Connie. I have 2 questions and a comment/ question… #1. What are NG feedings? I can’t believe it, but I never heard of that before!!! #2. How are you and Lori doing? #3. I saw your cat pix…how is the temperament of your siamese? -Catlover
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I hate to burst your bubble, but you will have to eat at Renfrew, sweetie, if you don’t want to be kicked out of the program. Hi, Catlover! Things are a little different in the FL facility than they are in Philly. They do NG feedings and such there, and it is possible that someone might be started out on NG and then later gently reintroduced to eating real foods again. Of course, the whole purpose of going to treatment is to resolve some of the problems around food! In Philly, yes, if someone is unable to complete her meals, refuses supplements, violates her contracts, then she is discharged outright or discharged-and-transferred to a "higher level of care," the more structured behavior-mod program at Belmont. I don’t know how they do things in FL, but if they have the option of using NG feedings, that might mean that they are not as quick to discharge someone who is not being compliant. The whole point of treatment, though, is, yes, to learn to deal with the food… –Connie — "Starving the flesh wastes the spirit." –Kandis Elliot
Response:
I hate to burst your bubble, but you will have to eat at Renfrew, sweetie, if you don’t want to be kicked out of the program.
Hi, Catlover! Things are a little different in the FL facility than they are in Philly. They do NG feedings and such there, and it is possible that someone might be started out on NG and then later gently reintroduced to eating real foods again. Of course, the whole purpose of going to treatment is to resolve some of the problems around food! In Philly, yes, if someone is unable to complete her meals, refuses supplements, violates her contracts, then she is discharged outright or discharged-and-transferred to a "higher level of care," the more structured behavior-mod program at Belmont. I don’t know how they do things in FL, but if they have the option of using NG feedings, that might mean that they are not as quick to discharge someone who is not being compliant. The whole point of treatment, though, is, yes, to learn to deal with the food… –Connie — "Starving the flesh wastes the spirit." –Kandis Elliot
Response:
It’s me, Butterflies. Don’t ask about "Ronnie."
Ronnie? Who’s Ronnie? <g Hey, Butterflies, ya gotta stop tempting us with those discussions of DVD….the more I hear about it, the more I am getting interested in it!! Me, who never watches TV, but who does like my VCR for the movies… Gosh, that’s too bad that there is a snafu about Renfrew and the admission — ack! Let’s hope that the insurance folks and Renfrew or whoever needs to be concerned work it out quickly so that you can go while you’re all primed and ready to roll… Strike while the iron’s hot, as they say. Keep the faith, things will work out… As far as what will happen in the refeeding process after you’re at Renfrew and what you’re willing to do or not to do….well, that’s why you’re going for treatment, to get some help with this whole food thing, right? Keep us posted! –Connie — "Starving the flesh wastes the spirit." –Kandis Elliot
Response:
my sweet Butterflies. The fact that you are going to Renfrew speaks volumes. I know you don’t hear it, but it’s there. As for not eating at Renfrew that’s alright. I know plenty of people who were programs and just had an NG or lots of Ensure. But I think eventually once their brain was fed, they were able to eat real solid food. I would probably choose the same route as you because I wouldn’t be able to deal with food and the anxiety. As for wanting to die before you are 30, well I think that is going to change as well after Renfrew. Remember who you are Butterflies. You are a child of God. Love, Mouse Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
((((Butterflies)))), my heart goes out to you! Please, girly don’t give up. You need this treatment. I know it can be hard, but really try and take things right now one moment at a time! You are not alone! I’m here for you always girly! :) Ears Fall seven times, stand up eight. -Japanese Proverb
Response:
hey Butterflies– It makes me feel better knowing you are close to getting into treatment! I am keeping my fingers crossed for ya girly! love tasha
Response:
HI, Catlover! I’ll answer the first question on here, as others may be puzzled, too, by the abbreviation, and then the rest I’ll go into private email rather than take up newsgroup readers’ time and space… NG = nasogastric feedings, or "tube" feedings. The NG tube is inserted through the nostril and down the back of the throat and on into the stomach, so that nutrients can be received that way rather than by the patient taking them orally. Used for patients who are unwilling or unable to take food by mouth. –Connie — "Starving the flesh wastes the spirit." –Kandis Elliot
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