Question:
from: Subject: new here Date: Wed, 24 Nov 1999 02:31:18 -0500 From: "Norris Mary" <m…@groundhog.net> Hi I am new here and hope I have found a place that understands what it’s like to be me. I was diagnosed about 6 months ago with PTSD. I was coming out of a 9 month nightmare of losing a job and a career I truly loved and only had 10 years of it under my belt. through no fault of my own I was picked to be made an example to the rest of staff. I learned later the methods used on me had a name : bullying. I had no idea it could happen like this and at this certainly not at this age. Brief history – I was falsely accused of things that never happened. So instead of accepting the employers settlements I naively chose to fight the charges. . .thinking justice and truth would win in the end. I kept thinking. . .I couldn’t really be fired…I had never even been reprimanded by an employer let alone this. . .so we’ll just talk and straighten it out and all go home…" HA! Instead I was traumatized again by a legal system which I can only say is more messed up than the education system . My story is long and for me horrific. I will get into details later if there is interest. My situation was equally devastating to co-workers who unfortunetly are left to work in fear the same thing will happen to them. I have to say (I hate to admit this) but I was good at my job. In fact, I was great. I have a lot of faults for sure. . .However I was an excellet teacher and had the support of staff, parents and community to support me. I was bullied by a supervisor who (I was told) was intimidated by my success. What a joke to me when I first heard that…I don’t hardly intimidate anyone. I was good at my job and I loved what I did. But when I sensed trouble and tried to make things better I only made them worse. Maybe somebody out there knows what I mean? All I know now is I am in such a rut, stuck facing unbearable pain that I can’t even decscribe. My ordeal lasted 9 months – which included 4 very long hearings, a law suit by me for invasion of privacy, whistleblower protection and several civil rights violations, I went through 3 lawyers befor I finally got a clue, a measly settlement I was forced into…and $37,000.00 in debt. The case ended one year ago. I can’t move further. I’m broke and looking at bankruptcy, we had to move because my children were going to the same school where all this happened to me and staying was impossible for them and me. My marriage has been rocky, we have seperated many times. But the worst part is I wake up everyday and don’t know what to do with myself. And there is so much I should and could do. . .like housework, unpack boxes, find a job (I have been turned down about a dozen times in the past 2 months. We have 4 children (6,8,9, and 17 yrs.old) and they go to school in the morning. My husband goes to work (also in the public school system). I feel excluded and sad all the time. I don’t know how to be anything if I am not a teacher. I have known this would be my profession since I was 10 years old. But they took away from me my desire to teach. It was like a 9 month rape, complete with news and media coverage. I was numb when it happened, almost like it was happening to someone else and I was watching from above. Everyone kept saying they didn’t know how I did it. I didn’t know at the time either. I just did it. But now I wish I could tell them I didn’t do anything at all, Now I am hurting to the point of wishing I was dead every single day and I have no idea how to help myself. Sorry for the long post. Thanks for listening if anyone out there read this. Does anyone ever get out of this place I am in? Am I in so deep I am the only one because the rest actually killed themselves? I really can’t do it anymore. The worse is pretending everything is OK, to family who don’t understand, and people who weren’t there when it happened. I say I want to be where I am but it is a lie. I feel worthless and like a nobody. It’s been so hard for so long I want to end the pain. I just want it to go away but it doesn’t. Thanks again. mari kaje wrote: > Could someone repost the original? I didn’t get it. I hate it when > the first post of a thread doesn’t make it through to me.
– -No matter how deep the cut is, wearing a pink Barbie Band-Aid is never macho.
Response:
Could someone repost the original? I didn’t get it. I hate it when the first post of a thread doesn’t make it through to me.
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