Question:
Is it just me or are these two related. Everytime something in my life goes wrong this is the first thing I think about. I want to do it, and I don’t know why. I hate feeling this way, and luckily I have not managed to do it, but it is not the way I want to spend the rest of my life. I am only 26 and I have two gorgeous children, a loving husband, but I would throw it all away to stop remembering. Dawn d…@kawartha.com
Response:
Hi Dawn, This used to trouble me more than you can imagine. I think telling myself that suicide is a ‘permanent fix to a temporary problem’ a million times, has made it fade into the background. It’s 2nd nature to me now. The other thing that might be going on is self abuse. When things are not going well, I think: "I might as well end it all right now." … even when I know I don’t want to, and I never will. For me I think it’s just another way of putting myself through hell.(again) You may know the underlying thinking…"I’m a rotten person, I don’t deserve to be happy at all", etc…. I hope this helps Peace -G. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Dawn wrote: > Is it just me or are these two related. Everytime something in my life goes > wrong this is the first thing I think about. I want to do it, and I don’t > know why. I hate feeling this way, and luckily I have not managed to do it, > but it is not the way I want to spend the rest of my life. I am only 26 and > I have two gorgeous children, a loving husband, but I would throw it all > away to stop remembering. > Dawn > d…@kawartha.com
Response:
Hi Dawn. My name is Cyndynia (sin-da-ni-a). I am a spiritual teacher and healer. I’m 37 and I’ve been through my own hell and back. I met someone who help me understand why this was happening to me and how I could change. On one level it is very simple the change starts inside. First by acknowledging the part of you that is hurting so much. You also have angels and guides that you can call on to help you. I suggest to ask them to help you heal the pain and then just allow yourself to be in the the pain without judging whether you should be or nor. Tell them how you feel. Ask them to hold you and send light into you. You will change as you start to understand why you are feeling the way you do. With help to safely go into the parts of you that have been so hurt and feel so much guilt, you will heal and free youself from these emotions. with love and light Cyndynia
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -wallpa…@pop.service.ohio.state.edu wrote in message … >Posted and e-mailed. >"cyndynia" wrote: >>Hi Dawn. >> My name is Cyndynia (sin-da-ni-a). I am a spiritual teacher and >>healer. I’m 37 and I’ve been through my own hell and back. > <<<<<<snip>>>>>>>>> >>with love and light >>Cyndynia >Do you know "James"? You have the same user User ID/"address".
Yup Sorry bout that….Cyndy Lou was over for the day….I forgot to switch tha nick
Response:
In article <913928488.860…@news.kawartha.com>, "Dawn" <d…@kawartha.com> wrote: > Is it just me or are these two related. Everytime something in my life goes > wrong this is the first thing I think about. I want to do it, and I don’t > know why. I hate feeling this way, and luckily I have not managed to do it, > but it is not the way I want to spend the rest of my life. I am only 26 and > I have two gorgeous children, a loving husband, but I would throw it all > away to stop remembering. > Dawn > d…@kawartha.com
Dawn – I am usually a lurker, and dont speak out much, but after having battled suicide for many years, and being so much able to identify with the thoughts "I am only X years old, have two georgous children, a loving husband…" I had to post. I’ve been in the same boat (cept for the X years old which we wont go into… *LOL*) and I’ve battled suicidal urges for a long time. A couple of years ago when I was very suicidal, I stumbled into a website that kind of helped me to understand my sucidal urges better, and put it into a perspective for me that helped remove the guilt I had for having those urges in the first place. It didnt make the suicidal feelings go away, but did make them easier to live with and through. Made it easier for me to understand them and forgive myself for having them. The website location is: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ and I think the one line from that site that had the most impact on me was "Suicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain" I think maybe ptsd and suicidal urges are related. The things I experienced that caused my PTSD robbed me of many of my coping techniques, and as a reaction to those experiences, "taught" me coping techniques that were (are?) less than effective. When the pain hits, and I cant cope with it, the need/urge to get away from the pain ASAP is the most natural reaction I can see having (the only reaction?). The only/fastest way that can often times be seen is death. Family, friends, the things I have, the things I want, hell, even the smell of fresh cut grass wont help, and all I want to do is to make the pain stop, and I’ll do anything to ease the pain. Until I learned some new, more effective coping techniques, suicide was the only way I could think of to ease the pain. I’ve learned some new techniques that work for me, and I’ve made some changes to my lifestyle that support those techniques. Most importantly, for me anyway was that I forgave myself for feeling suicidal. When I realized those feelings were a gut reaction to a painful situation, and when I forgave myself for having them, and focused on coping with the feelings instead of trying to surpress them becuase "I shouldnt feel that way" I started to get a little better with it. It kind of eased some of the pain I was giving myself with the guilt trip (like I didnt have enough already!!! *LOL*)and let me focus some on the cause of the feelings instead of only on the suicidal urges. I dont know… that’s what helped me when the urges were extreamly strong. The suicidal urge still hits me when things get really bad or I"m having a really hard time, but I realize its an eye opener for me that I need to start paying attention to what I’m doing coping wise with a given situation instead of blaming myself for being a shit of a person for "wanting to give up" or some such negative type response. Hope I didnt ramble too much (part of the reason I dont post often. I have that nasty ramble tendancy *LOL*). Stay Safe Mitch *My one true wish is to always be able to laugh, or at least smile… Even if there isint a reason to.* "The opinions stated above are just that, opinions, and after all, opinions are just like assholes… everybody has one" ———–== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==———- http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Discuss, or Start Your Own
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