Question:
Hi guys, I just got home, survived the day. My ex and my son showed up around 4:00. My sister couldn’t wait for them to get there. Well, after they showed up and had pie and coffee, I went into the living room to install a set of vertical blinds for my sister. There was a problem with them after I got them installed and the ex jumped in and started troubleshooting the problem. (Hello, I’m quite capable of that). But, I was told my dad was ready to go home (I had driven him and my mom out there) so I had to leave. Imagine my heart as I left my sister’s house with my mom and dad and left my son and my ex husband with her. I let my sis know that I was uncomfortable with the situation, she didn’t say much. My ex looked way too happy to be there when he arrived, almost like he wanted to give her a big hug. I don’t want him back, but sheesh, it was like leaving them as a little family unit. Doing my best to detach here. Janie, Cal, and Toni! I can’t wait for Saturday!!!!! =) Cheryl – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Cheryl, I’ve been online reading more than a few times today too. Wasn’t actually too bad at my mom’s . . . in some ways I think I am handling the dissolution better than my parents. Have things gotten better as the day has gone on? Vent if you need to . . . I’ll probably be on again later! Lori
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Hi Cheryl, I’ve been online reading more than a few times today too. Wasn’t actually too bad at my mom’s . . . in some ways I think I am handling the dissolution better than my parents.
Hi Lori, This happened with my parents as well…well, with my mother anyway. She cried because the ex and I had been together for so long, she felt he was a son to her and I remember wondering if there was something wrong with me because I just didn’t feel what she was feeling. Unbeknownst to me at that time, the feelings did come. Recently someone mentioned to me that it sounded like I might have PTSD and like I usually do I looked over my 35 years of living and saw plenty of other areas where I experienced PTSD. It’s like the mother who told me recently a story of how one day her two year old son was outside with her. She was busy painting; he was walking around saying, "Hi, Mom" every so often to her. And then suddenly she heard a voice she didn’t recognize. "It’s okay, dear. You stay right there." The mother looked around her garage to see an old woman by the side of the road with her dog. She looked at the mother and said real carefully, "He’s up on the ladder." The mother walked around thinking that he was like partway only to see him at the very top, dangling by one hand. She said she walked calmly up the ladder, got him and began walking back down the ladder. As she was going back down, she felt it….the shaking…the realization of what had just happened. As she told me the story, I saw tears in her eyes. That comparison is not exactly the same but we just shore up our strength until we get through what we gotta get through and then, the feelings pour out. Anyhow, I’m not saying you have PSTD. I got carried away with my thoughts as usual. Glad you had a nice Thanksgiving… Kim
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Hi Cheryl, I’ve been online reading more than a few times today too. Wasn’t actually too bad at my mom’s . . . in some ways I think I am handling the dissolution better than my parents. Have things gotten better as the day has gone on? Vent if you need to . . . I’ll probably be on again later! Lori
Response:
Thank you for your response. I hadn’t thought about it like that, but that’s exactly what it is isn’t it? Honesty. But how do you feel about the necessity of pics at a woman’s business website?
It depends on what your website was promoting and the image you want to portray, you could use a professional and businesslike picture of yourself giving a strong reliable image, or you could use a ‘homely’ picture to give an honest image, it all depends … I wouldn’t say putting a picture was a necessity though, but again it depends on your business and if being a woman makes a difference to your business or if it can be used as a marketing advantage. I wouldn’t worry about people taking your picture and manipulating it, the kind of people who do that probably wouldn’t be looking at business websites anyway. At the end of the day if it worries you to put your picture on a website don’t do it. The place i work at uses background images of people that i’ve never seen, but that maybe because we’re just all too ugly to be photographed for real hehehe. Simon.
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People should do what they want to do as long as it is legal.
Like buy guns and get concealed carry permits?
Response:
I am looking for opinions on whether or not women should post their pictures on the internet. Whether your answer is yes, or it is no, please also state why you hold that opinion. Also, in what context should or shouldn’t pictures be posted? Is it ok for business sites, but not for personal sites? … or vice versa?
My answer is neither yes nor no. My answer is that it is none of my business what other people do with pictures of themselves, as long as no-one has to look at them if they don’t want to. I’m wondering why you ask just about women’s pictures only? Just curious… First, thanks for replying (and thanks to all the others as well). I’m asking because men seem to be immune to the ‘dangers’ of posting pics. It’s not often heard that men are harrassed, stalked, impersonated or otherwise subject to picture abuse that women are. I see it as a women’s issue. A woman’s right. Freedom of expression and creativity.
The fact is simply that few people give a shit what happens to any number of men, whereas something bad that happens to a few women is seen as a major social crisis. There is no way of knowing the proportion of men and women amongst people who have been subjected to what you call "picture abuse". Your claim that it is impossible for a man to be abused in that way is undoubtably wrong though and seems to me to be nothing more than a rationalisation of sexism. So…why do you think men should *not* have the right to choose whether or not to publish pics of themselves on the net? That *is* what you said. If something is a woman’s right, men cannot be allowed that right. Men are not women, by definition, and therefore cannot have women’s rights. [..] — Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else. (Anon)
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Besides, it’s Thanksgiving Day and no one but me is reading this silly newsgroup 
You know how you get to talking to yourself when you realize you’re completely alone after you thought the "group" was all there with you?
Wrong!! I’m here! Happy Thanksgiving, Janie!
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I’m asking because men seem to be immune to the ‘dangers’ of posting pics. It’s not often heard that men are harrassed, stalked, impersonated or otherwise subject to picture abuse that women are.
I’ve heard that one should think twice before posting their child’s picture…
Response:
Hmmmm… I’m here reading the group, what does that say about me? It says that I don’t wanna go upstairs and cook and I don’t wanna go be with my dad today. Gimme strength… Cheryl – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Sorta like the mentality that says, if she wears a short skirt, she’s beggin’ for it. A group of students in my Social Work 101 class did a skit for the class (a project) where they put a guy on the witness stand, and a woman acted as the defense attorney for some jerk who had beaten and robbed the guy. Attorney: Isn’t it true, Mr. Smith, that you were at the ATM machine on 4th and Cedar, a KNOWN dangerous area of town, AFTER DARK? Victim: Yes, that’s true, but… Attorney: And in this KNOWN dangerous area of town, where you were taking out $400 from an ATM machine AFTER DARK, weren’t you wearing a 3-piece $2,000 suit and a GOLD ROLODEX watch??? Victim: Yes, I had just come from work and was stopping… Attorney: And wouldn’t your common sense have told you that to be dressed that way, getting cash, wearing expensive jewelry, you were making yourself BAIT for some poor person who, because of his sheer poverty, would not be able to control his urge to rob you? It goes on for quit a few minutes, not so ludicrous that you don’t get wrapped up in the unjustness of the allegation – that because of the way the guy was dressed, because of the jewelry he wore, and because he found it necessary (or convenient) to stop at an ATM machine in a "bad" section of town, he had been "asking for it" in reference to the robbery. And the "poor pitiful broke" violent criminal who beat and robbed him, couldn’t help himself – like guys who rape say they can’t help themselves. Victim blaming. Pthooey. Janie (okay I just realized that was completely off topic – sorry, but it’s a neat skit, so I’m going to click this "send" button anyway Besides, it’s Thanksgiving Day and no one but me is reading this silly newsgroup You know how you get to talking to yourself when you realize you’re completely alone after you thought the "group" was all there with you? — The reason why rivers and seas receive the homage of a hundred mountain streams is that they keep below them. – Lao Tse
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Women are giving away their soul if they are photographed. Posting that photo on ‘net is like going to expedia.com and purchasing a one way plane ticket to the lake of fire.
Why do you think so? Years ago, I had a business website and posted a pic on it. However, I had to post the pic a couple levels down from the front page. If I remember correctly, I did it to detract from the fact that I was a woman business owner, as well as, to ensure that only legitimate business contacts were made — not date offers. Men, on the other hand, got to greet their visitors with a personal pic. Greet customers with a handshake, iow. What’s up with that? Friend, what on earth are you talking about? Do us all a favor and say what you really mean. Is your wife posting her photo on the net and you feel threatened by that, and is that really the problem between you two?
Hmmm… I don’t have a wife. But thank you for bringing up the fact that pic viewing and/or loading on the internet is a major sore spot for some couples/marriages. But who’s problem is it? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Roto ~: (Tomorrow I wear a black arm band for the massive slaughter of my fellow foul.)
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am looking for opinions on whether or not women should post their pictures on the internet. Whether your answer is yes, or it is no, please also state why you hold that opinion. Also, in what context should or shouldn’t pictures be posted? Is it ok for business sites, but not for personal sites? … or vice versa? Personally I wouldn’t post my picture without a good reason to do so, but if i was chatting with someone or talking to a friend and they asked for a picture i would freely give it to them. Its all part of being honest and open and i’d hate for soemone to build an image of me in their mind and maybe if we ever met i’d be a disappointment for somethign that could be so easily avoided.
Thank you for your response. I hadn’t thought about it like that, but that’s exactly what it is isn’t it? Honesty. But how do you feel about the necessity of pics at a woman’s business website? Also I wouldn’t like to describe myself to someone in any more detail than 6ft, short hair, blue eyes, so its a lot easier to just send them a pic and let them see for themselves.
Yep. As they say, a picture’s worth a thousand words! – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – just my twopeneth.. Simon.
Response:
I am looking for opinions on whether or not women should post their pictures on the internet. Whether your answer is yes, or it is no, please also state why you hold that opinion. Also, in what context should or shouldn’t pictures be posted? Is it ok for business sites, but not for personal sites? … or vice versa? I’m wondering why you ask just about women’s pictures only? Just curious…
First, thanks for replying (and thanks to all the others as well). I’m asking because men seem to be immune to the ‘dangers’ of posting pics. It’s not often heard that men are harrassed, stalked, impersonated or otherwise subject to picture abuse that women are. I see it as a women’s issue. A woman’s right. Freedom of expression and creativity. If a person is willing to be seen in public, why not on the internet?
That was the very same conclusion I drew. In fact, at one time I held the view that it was inappropriate for women to post pics in their bathing suits on the internet. Then I realized that this was faulty thinking. You wear a bathing suit to the beach, the pool, the lake and other public places, so what is the problem posting a pic on the internet? I have no problem with my picture being out there just like on the ASD site, as well as sites of some friends i used to chat with, who put up "frenz" pages….
I agree. Now, if someone where to take my face and paste it on somebody else’s body doing who-knows-what, it would really prove that they need to get a life, and not say anything about me…
I feel the same way. I’m also trying to explore what makes us (women) feel that it is ‘dangerous’ if someone should alter your pic and use it for unsavory purposes? Couldn’t the same thing be done by some idiot who snaps your pic IRL without your knowledge, then alters it to suit his weird fancy? Is accepting this as a ‘danger’ also giving control of our actions to those who wish to empower us? In otherwords, is the inability of some (usually men) to control their own actions when they see pics of women enough reason to keep us from doing it? Sorta like the mentality that says, if she wears a short skirt, she’s beggin’ for it.
Response:
People should do what they want to do as long as it is legal. Asia
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am looking for opinions on whether or not women should post their pictures on the internet. Whether your answer is yes, or it is no, please also state why you hold that opinion. Also, in what context should or shouldn’t pictures be posted? Is it ok for business sites, but not for personal sites? … or vice versa? Thanks. And have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!
Response:
Women are giving away their soul if they are photographed. Posting that photo on ‘net is like going to expedia.com and purchasing a one way plane ticket to the lake of fire. Friend, what on earth are you talking about? Do us all a favor and say what you really mean. Is your wife posting her photo on the net and you feel threatened by that, and is that really the problem between you two? Roto ~: (Tomorrow I wear a black arm band for the massive slaughter of my fellow foul.)
Response:
Hmmm…Interesting topic. In the past I have posted pictures, most of which were just head shots for personal ads, but a few were not quite so innocent. I think it is up to the individual and their comfort level with posting pictures on the internet. It is not for everybody and I do suggest if you are going to post one to be sure it is up to date. Many people utilize photographs that do not depict their true state of being. Of course, now that I am in a relationship I won’t post pictures, unless they are in the form of a e-mail and I am sending it to my bf.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am looking for opinions on whether or not women should post their pictures on the internet. Whether your answer is yes, or it is no, please also state why you hold that opinion. Also, in what context should or shouldn’t pictures be posted? Is it ok for business sites, but not for personal sites? … or vice versa? Thanks. And have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!
Response:
I am looking for opinions on whether or not women should post their pictures on the internet. Whether your answer is yes, or it is no, please also state why you hold that opinion. Also, in what context should or shouldn’t pictures be posted? Is it ok for business sites, but not for personal sites? … or vice versa?
Personally I wouldn’t post my picture without a good reason to do so, but if i was chatting with someone or talking to a friend and they asked for a picture i would freely give it to them. Its all part of being honest and open and i’d hate for soemone to build an image of me in their mind and maybe if we ever met i’d be a disappointment for somethign that could be so easily avoided. Also I wouldn’t like to describe myself to someone in any more detail than 6ft, short hair, blue eyes, so its a lot easier to just send them a pic and let them see for themselves. just my twopeneth.. Simon.
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I am looking for opinions on whether or not women should post their pictures on the internet.
I think women and men should post their pix on the internet, if that is what they want to do. Whether your answer is yes, or it is no, please also state why you hold that opinion.
They (men and women) should also be prepared to deal with comments that arise from these posted pix.
Response:
I am looking for opinions on whether or not women should post their pictures on the internet. Whether your answer is yes, or it is no, please also state why you hold that opinion. Also, in what context should or shouldn’t pictures be posted? Is it ok for business sites, but not for personal sites? … or vice versa? Thanks. And have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!
Ummm. Ok. They should and shouldn’t for the very same reasons men should and shouldn’t. How’s that? (i.e. whenever she feels comfortable doing so, she should if she so wishes)
Response:
I am looking for opinions on whether or not women should post their pictures on the internet. Whether your answer is yes, or it is no, please also state why you hold that opinion. Also, in what context should or shouldn’t pictures be posted? Is it ok for business sites, but not for personal sites? … or vice versa?
I’m wondering why you ask just about women’s pictures only? Just curious… If a person is willing to be seen in public, why not on the internet? I have no problem with my picture being out there just like on the ASD site, as well as sites of some friends i used to chat with, who put up "frenz" pages…. Now, if someone where to take my face and paste it on somebody else’s body doing who-knows-what, it would really prove that they need to get a life, and not say anything about me…
Response:
I am looking for opinions on whether or not women should post their pictures on the internet. Whether your answer is yes, or it is no, please also state why you hold that opinion. Also, in what context should or shouldn’t pictures be posted? Is it ok for business sites, but not for personal sites? … or vice versa? Thanks. And have a safe and Happy Thanksgiving!
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