Question:
Perfectionism! AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! But what a lesson! It is hard to undo years of learning, but the hope and gift are that it CAN be done! I’ve had PA for ten years along with PTSD, and several other "enabling" things. Now, i am almost panic free. Living proof it can be done! One of lifes greatest treaures is the gift of knowing yourself! Rie
Tell us more! Susan Benzo girl Tell you more? I have all day, why not! <g Actually, i don’t. FIve years ago, i could not leave my house, and today i have no problems (most days). I do have days where i get anxious, but no real panic to speak of. I started having panic after the death of my sister and worked very hard to overcome it. I run a local support group and it has helped tremendously. I agree that not everythig works for everyone, but alot of things do work! Getting to know who you really are does wonders <g. As far as perfectionism goes, isn’t it a great learnig experience. I used to clean my house for 9 and 10 hours a day. My family and friends all made fun of me for this but i wanted it perfect! I thought i would die and have a dirty house, so i constantly cleaned! Everything i did had to be perfect! Regardless of what it was. Finally one day, i got out of bed and didn’t make it within the first thirty seconds. Now this may sound a little silly, but i cired all day until i finally allowed myself to make the bed. But i didn’t die, i didn’t go crazy, i didn’t get arrested of charges of neglecting the bed, nothing happened except for the fact that i began to realize it was ok not to be perfect! Now, i do make my bed every day, but it is noth something i HAVE to do, it is something I WANT to do. There is a difference : ) By the way, did you know that perfectionism is one of the personality traits for panic? Noone is perfect, and it only hurts you to think that you have to be. Rie : )
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Hi all I know this is a part of what got me to where I am today. I guess it is both good and not so good. (Perfectionism , that is)
(snip) Hi susan, it was perfectionism that killed my dreams of becoming an elementary school teacher. Each time i tried to do the student teaching, i became so ill i couldn’t function. Lost a lot of weight during that time. Sadly, my weight seems to be an indicator of how i am feeling. When i am really thin, it is when i feel like crap, and now at 30 lbs over weight and feeling like a big blubber ball, i feel pretty good. Go figure! Marie ( michelle’s twin sister)
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Perfectionism! AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! But what a lesson! It is hard to undo years of learning, but the hope and gift are that it CAN be done! I’ve had PA for ten years along with PTSD, and several other "enabling" things. Now, i am almost panic free. Living proof it can be done! One of lifes greatest treaures is the gift of knowing yourself! Rie
Response:
Perfectionism! AAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! But what a lesson! It is hard to undo years of learning, but the hope and gift are that it CAN be done! I’ve had PA for ten years along with PTSD, and several other "enabling" things. Now, i am almost panic free. Living proof it can be done! One of lifes greatest treaures is the gift of knowing yourself! Rie
Tell us more! Susan Benzo girl
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snip
You are funny! benzo girl
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Susan < aka Benzo Girl wrote : I know this is a part of what got me to where I am today. I guess it is both good and not so good. (Perfectionism , that is)
Did you hear about the perfectionist who tried to commit suicide? He couldn’t get the note write so he gave up. <<<<GROAN Well, I guess you had to be there. Seriously, I once heard that everything we are we learned in the first five years of life. I have seen nothing that would dispute that. I believe it is fundimentally impossible to change who you are. What I believe is possible though is to change your attitude about who you are. According to what I know about Budhaism, which is only slightly deeper than my knowledge of the back side of the moon, is that the fundimental problem of life is to accept it as it comes. Only from the struggle to be happy do we find unhappyness. I know, sounds corny. Oh well, having left no advise worth having, and having come with no advise worth leaving I now depart as if I had never been. Whatever 
Kelly
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(snip) So… say hello to panic/anxiety disorder. I’m trying. It’s hard to change some things. I am trying to re-think it. A lot of this is emotional though isn’t it? How do we un-do years and years of programming that at one time worked for us and now works against us? susan Benzo Girl
Hey Susan — sorry to hear about the attack 
But, in answer to you questions re: perfectionism and change….I will admit to having some of the same problems (wow, big surprise, I freelance edit….picky, picky, picky What I have found to be *very* useful is a wonderful therapist (PhD)…I know it is not for everyone, but it has made me more aware of myself and has encouraged some change in behavior on my part. Just a thought… Best, Anne.
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Benzogirl wrote about perfectionism: <I know this is a part of what got me to where I am today. I guess it is <both good and not so good. (Perfectionism , that is) <I want everything to go according to plan. I want all the answers ahead <of time so that I will be properly prepared. <I don’t want any surprises. I don’t want any negativity. I want <nothing to get in the way of what it is I expect to happen. <So… say hello to panic/anxiety disorder. <I’m trying. It’s hard to change some things. I am trying to re-think <it. A lot of this is emotional though isn’t it? How do we un-do years <and years of programming that at one time worked for us and now works <against us? <Had another panick today. don’t know why. I usually don’t anyway. <Hey, that’s predictable. hey BG…..DITTO! Cindy Struggling through another day.
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<some snipping done – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I know this is a part of what got me to where I am today. I guess it is both good and not so good. (Perfectionism , that is) I want everything to go according to plan. I want all the answers ahead of time so that I will be properly prepared. I don’t want any surprises. I don’t want any negativity. I want nothing to get in the way of what it is I expect to happen. I’m trying. It’s hard to change some things. I am trying to re-think it. A lot of this is emotional though isn’t it? How do we un-do years and years of programming that at one time worked for us and now works against us? susan
**Hi Susan, I always think of this trait in terms of wanting to feel "safe". I want everything to go according to plan — so I know that I can handle it. I want all the answers ahead of time — so that I know I will not fail or look stupid. I don’t want any surprises — because I want to be sure that I can be prepared for, and can handle, whatever comes along. I want nothing to get in the way of what it is I expect to happen — because I want to be certain that I can handle whatever comes along and that nothing bad will happen to me! Like you, I work on trying to change my thinking (I use CBT). You are right in saying that we are trying to un-do years and years of programming. Thus, it does take time and effort to go over and over to re-learn our thinking to habits – to learn (and feel) that all of these every day situations, which we perceive as anxiety provoking or threatening situations, are really just every day situations that we *can* handle! I work on stopping these "perfectionistic/safety" thoughts — so when I start worrying about something, I stop myself and remind myself that I do not need to worry about it, that I can handle it and that it is really not some threatening situation. take care, Pegi
Response:
Hi all I know this is a part of what got me to where I am today. I guess it is both good and not so good. (Perfectionism , that is) I want everything to go according to plan. I want all the answers ahead of time so that I will be properly prepared. I don’t want any surprises. I don’t want any negativity. I want nothing to get in the way of what it is I expect to happen. So… say hello to panic/anxiety disorder. I’m trying. It’s hard to change some things. I am trying to re-think it. A lot of this is emotional though isn’t it? How do we un-do years and years of programming that at one time worked for us and now works against us? susan Benzo Girl Had another panick today. don’t know why. I usually don’t anyway. Hey, that’s predictable, I like that.
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