Question:
I don’t have problems with major paranoia. (I don’t need to add to my list of troubles!) But, I know I *do* have bouts of mild paranoia. Anyway, I’m feeling a bit paranoid right now. In this NG. I don’t post much. Either because I am not feeling well or because I refuse to hang my bum out on the line and get flamed just because someone is cycling and the mood of the entire NG is shot to ****. Nonetheless, when I *do* post, I rarely get responses. Either supportive or flaming. I feel rather insignificant as a result. I feel as though one needs to be part of the "clique" to be responded to. Or that one needs to be a "squeaky wheel." Truly, tell me… are my posts so insignificant that they warrant absolutely no attention, am I so far off the mark in what I write??? I don’t think I am. I think some of what I write is not of the popular consensus, sugar-coated enough to be palatable to the majority of the NG. So, I am ignored. I have noticed that the majority of responses go to one of following groups: the more "popular" members of the NG, the flamers, the trolls, or the sympathy seekers. And, I have noticed that the general tendency in the NG is to sugar coat responses. That does not serve anyone well. On the other hand, rudeness and abuse is not acceptable. I may disagree with Luanne’s delivery. But, one thing I appreciate about her is that she NEVER gives a sugar coated response. EVER. It’s from the hip. It’s her way of doing it that grates on me. This is not a pick on Lu, either. At least she gets responses!!! Come on, group, be honest. What is really going on here??? I’d like to know. Could someone pay me the courtesy of answering this post??? GOD’s blessings, Gay Marie
Response:
An addendum to my (paranoid) post: I truly do appreciate those that have been kind enough to respond to any posts of mine. I don’t want you to think I am ungrateful. Because I am not. Gay Marie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -gmt wrote: > I don’t have problems with major paranoia. (I don’t need to add to my > list of troubles!) But, I know I *do* have bouts of mild paranoia. > Anyway, I’m feeling a bit paranoid right now. In this NG. > I don’t post much. Either because I am not feeling well or because I > refuse to hang my bum out on the line and get flamed just because > someone is cycling and the mood of the entire NG is shot to ****. > Nonetheless, when I *do* post, I rarely get responses. Either > supportive or flaming. I feel rather insignificant as a result. I feel > as though one needs to be part of the "clique" to be responded to. Or > that one needs to be a "squeaky wheel." > Truly, tell me… are my posts so insignificant that they warrant > absolutely no attention, am I so far off the mark in what I write??? I > don’t think I am. I think some of what I write is not of the popular > consensus, sugar-coated enough to be palatable to the majority of the > NG. So, I am ignored. > I have noticed that the majority of responses go to one of following > groups: the more "popular" members of the NG, the flamers, the trolls, > or the sympathy seekers. > And, I have noticed that the general tendency in the NG is to sugar coat > responses. That does not serve anyone well. > On the other hand, rudeness and abuse is not acceptable. > I may disagree with Luanne’s delivery. But, one thing I appreciate > about her is that she NEVER gives a sugar coated response. EVER. It’s > from the hip. It’s her way of doing it that grates on me. This is not > a pick on Lu, either. > At least she gets responses!!! > Come on, group, be honest. What is really going on here??? > I’d like to know. Could someone pay me the courtesy of answering this > post??? > GOD’s blessings, > Gay Marie
Response:
gmt wrote:
Come on, group, be honest. What is really going on here??? > I’d like to know. Could someone pay me the courtesy of answering this > post??? > GOD’s blessings, > Gay Marie
Hello Gay Marie, Please don’t take my non responsiveness personal. I hardly respond or post anything here. I do read most everything posted here. However, if your post is in one of the long flaming threads, I just skip over those messages. IMO, all the bickering just perpetuates unhealthy thinking. I don’t know what happened. But 6 months ago, this group was a much healthier place to be. There was a sense of mutual support. Now this group just tests my anger threshold. Believe me, there have been times when I’ve wanted to join the flame brigade. But I stop myself. I figure out *why* whatever someone said made me angry, and then I work on that for myself. That’s how I’ve been using this group lately. So I’m sorry you feel ignored. I liked your squeaky wheel theory, and I think that is the case a lot of the time. BTW- Paranoid? maybe… but I call that street smarts. Always listening ( I learn more w/ my mouth closed ) Best wishes -G.
Response:
Dear Gay Marie, I am really sorry that I did not respond to your posts, but I do not post very much in this newsgroup. To refer to one of Bill’s posts: I am one of those who sit at home and stare at the wall. And when I do post, then it is always about me. I admit that. See, I cannot help others, I cannot give advice. I do not know how. I need help myself and I do have the right answers for others. Do you understand that? I would help others if I only could! I do not have anything against you, I think you are a very nice person, and I would reply to your posts if I had the right answers for you. As for sugar coating posts – it helps me to read warm and comforting words. I really appreciate directness, I like to know what others are thinking, but it is also really helpful for me to taste that sugar. It is like a cooling bandage on an open wound. So please know that to me your posts are not insignificant at all. I read every single post that appears in this newsgroup, and I think about them. Ah damn … if I could only help others like they help me!!! Blessed be, Galin ________________________________________________________ – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -gmt wrote: >Nonetheless, when I *do* post, I rarely get responses. Either >supportive or flaming. I feel rather insignificant as a result. I feel >as though one needs to be part of the "clique" to be responded to. Or >that one needs to be a "squeaky wheel." >Truly, tell me… are my posts so insignificant that they warrant >absolutely no attention, am I so far off the mark in what I write??? I >don’t think I am. I think some of what I write is not of the popular >consensus, sugar-coated enough to be palatable to the majority of the >NG. So, I am ignored. >I have noticed that the majority of responses go to one of following >groups: the more "popular" members of the NG, the flamers, the trolls, >or the sympathy seekers. >And, I have noticed that the general tendency in the NG is to sugar coat >responses. That does not serve anyone well. >On the other hand, rudeness and abuse is not acceptable. >I may disagree with Luanne’s delivery. But, one thing I appreciate >about her is that she NEVER gives a sugar coated response. EVER. It’s >from the hip. It’s her way of doing it that grates on me. This is not >a pick on Lu, either. >At least she gets responses!!! >Come on, group, be honest. What is really going on here??? >I’d like to know. Could someone pay me the courtesy of answering this >post??? >GOD’s blessings, >Gay Marie
Response:
Hi Gay Marie 
> Anyway…here’s some sugar coating….I always enjoy your posts. I > find you to be direct, sensible and you have an ability to communicate > your feelings in a unique way
I concur! Gay Marie, you have always added so much to this group IMO. Sometimes the things that make the most sense don’t get responded to – we’d all just be nodding in agreement. Maybe you could picture us doing that sometime – all of us sitting at our keyboards, smiling and nodding to something you’ve said. or maybe not. do what works for you I applaud you for speaking up about how you feel in an environment you don’t always consider safe. I hope this is a positive experience for you. As I read your words, I thought of all the times I have been ‘accused’ of being sticky sweet, too positive, unbalanced… whatever. I feel I deserve some of that, and have been striving to show a more ‘real’ and balanced picture of myself lately, in all my communications. I don’t want to be seen as one-dimensional when I am not. I hope you will be patient with me as I work on this. I am big on celebrating victories and offering encouragement, mostly because people have seldom done that for me, and I wanted them too. It’s funny how we treat others how we want to be treated sometimes. I choose not to focus on what’s not working (at least not all the time). Actually, as I am thinking about this…. I tend to wallow in my own shit, and try to build others up, try to get (you) to look at something else besides yours. Maybe (you) need to marinate for awhile. One of the things I am working on is acceptance, rather than trying to fix everything. It’s a difficult task for someone so entrenched in their codependency, like me. Sorry, I’m rambling… I support you, and I’m glad you are here. take care, Renee It’s not how many times you fall down, it’s how many times you get up that matters
Response:
Sarah, I see you. Thanks for posting, it’s good to hear from you. I hope to hear from you again. Sounds like you are in a tough place… like all of us here, so you fit right in :/ You said some interesting things about feeling inferior and shamed – I was thinking about this last night. My husband said he figures I am going to be ’sick’ for a long time… interesting. It’s hard for me to tell people I’m not working right now – everyone is so measured by their jobs and careers. When I tell someone that I’m not working, I figure they are trying to figure out what’s wrong with me. take care, Renee It’s not how many times you fall down, it’s how many times you get up that matters
Response:
Galin, you have sent me wonderfully supportive letters. You might not be able to do it as often as you’d like, but you are capable of doing it sometimes. Those times will increase as you continue in your recovery. tread gently on yourself, Renee
Response:
Dear Gaye-Marie, Hi. I think I know how you feel. I haven’t had a response to any post for months that I’m aware of. And I’m paranoid too. The feelings that get triggered by all sorts of seemingly innocuous things are huge at times. I dont expect to be understood by the people around me and much of my life feels like living a lie because I use precious energy trying to hide the fact that I have a disability, that I am mentally ill. I made a guy I care for cry yesterday. My relationship with him has triggered every memory of abuse and rejection. I’ve been very hurt by things he’s said and done repeatedly.I’ve tried to talk to him about having ptsd but he just says "everyone has had horrible experiences, get over it" I’ve told him I’ve been raped more than once to no response at all. It’s not that I wanted to evoke sympathy. i was trying to explain why I’m so strange. He thinks ptsd and counselling are rubbish and my being on a NZ equivalent of disability is because I’m lazy and it gives me all day to write. I wanted to hold him and kiss his tears away, but that’s what I’ve always done. He doesn’t understand and yet I feel almost under seige at times. I feel used and degraded. Because I’m paranoid?. I’m listening but I dont post often. I sometimes get mixed up with who’s who. I dont know why I’ve written about this situation. I guess its a bit personal. Ptsd makes me feel inferior and ashamed. And I’m paranoid too. Warm wishes. Please keep wrting. Thanks for raising this subject. Kia Kaha, Sarah In article <3762A1B6.BEE72…@yahoo.com>, gmt <uniquegm…@yahoo.com> wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I don’t have problems with major paranoia. (I don’t need to add to my > list of troubles!) But, I know I *do* have bouts of mild paranoia. > Anyway, I’m feeling a bit paranoid right now. In this NG. > I don’t post much. Either because I am not feeling well or because I > refuse to hang my bum out on the line and get flamed just because > someone is cycling and the mood of the entire NG is shot to ****. > Nonetheless, when I *do* post, I rarely get responses. Either > supportive or flaming. I feel rather insignificant as a result. I feel > as though one needs to be part of the "clique" to be responded to. Or > that one needs to be a "squeaky wheel." > Truly, tell me… are my posts so insignificant that they warrant > absolutely no attention, am I so far off the mark in what I write??? I > don’t think I am. I think some of what I write is not of the popular > consensus, sugar-coated enough to be palatable to the majority of the > NG. So, I am ignored. > I have noticed that the majority of responses go to one of following > groups: the more "popular" members of the NG, the flamers, the trolls, > or the sympathy seekers. > And, I have noticed that the general tendency in the NG is to sugar coat > responses. That does not serve anyone well. > On the other hand, rudeness and abuse is not acceptable. > I may disagree with Luanne’s delivery. But, one thing I appreciate > about her is that she NEVER gives a sugar coated response. EVER. It’s > from the hip. It’s her way of doing it that grates on me. This is not > a pick on Lu, either. > At least she gets responses!!! > Come on, group, be honest. What is really going on here??? > I’d like to know. Could someone pay me the courtesy of answering this > post??? > GOD’s blessings, > Gay Marie
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