Question:
Helski, Hang in there. Dealing with the system knocks us around but I think sometimes we have to do it or else we suffer. I always feel like I am not alone when I post, you are all mates I trust, share and explore this affliction. Barb, Glad to see you here Barb. I believe this is the first time ever I have acknowledged the immensity of what I have endured. Figure 24 years later!!Is this what they mean by wisdom?? Hope we can still share as you state. How are you? Helski
Response:
>I think I am around 8 hours ahead?
So you’re on the west side of the continent? >I must remember to do similar next year!! >I feel it was a positive move for once!!
Well, good on you! Can you schedule next year’s appointment right now? I’m glad you got through. Sounds like it was a little better than just barely making it. That must be a relief. Risa My cats only let me live here because I pay the rent.
Response:
Well, good on you! Can you schedule next year’s appointment right now? I’m glad you got through. Sounds like it was a little better than just barely making it. That must be a relief. Risa My cats only let me live here because I pay the rent. Hi Risa, I am on the East coast of NSW. Does that help?? What you say is true….I shall keep it in mind for next time! Best helski
Response:
Hi Kat 2 (Oh, how I dislike that designation)! You know, even with hyper vigilance and an insane desire to control what other folks say and do, I learned that I had to take the good with the bad. If there is value to me in a meeting (either in ether or real life), I decided to stick it out … to ignore the stuff I don’t particularly like and to make an active effort to _not_ judge other folks, including their writings here. > > Hey folks do you remember Stephanie whom I referred to as staph. > >That took a long time to get that worked out but it did. > >Cheers Barb
Barb deserves some kudos, I think, for asserting her position. I’m sorry that she called someone names, especially when the person is not around, but I am happy that she has learned to label misbehavior around herself. In the future she may think of ‘better’ ways to express her feelings, but for right now, this is her best. I can either applaud her progress or complain that her progress is not in the direction that I would prefer. I prefer to applaud her progress to date. YMMV > This is exactly the thing that I am talking about. I know nothing about this > situation (and DON’T want to) But it is *so* unnecessary to call names no > matter what the issue is. (This post is not specific to you, it happens here > all of the time.)
I agree that is not necessary for me to call names at this stage in my recovery. It may be the same for you. But, I also believe that it is important to give folks here some space for themselves, as I was not given in the past. So, when folks, including myself, call other people names I try to be quiet. Otherwise. I can allow this trigger to impede my own progress. > When people act this way it tells me far more about them than it does the > person that was the target of the abuse (yes, I think that name calling is > abusive) So then I am left to see both posters (the original and the > respondent) as not being trustworthy or having little or no value in there > posts. (I am not talking about the value of the person here… just the value > of the post.)
I think that one of the recovery rules has something to do with NOT giving trust until someone has earned it. We don’t earn anyone’s trust just because we post on usenet. I don’t give anyone trust any more until that person has earned it. There is a great fallacy to the myth that ‘if you love/like me you will trust me’. IME, the myth is ‘right on’ about how to abuse folks using trust as an excuse. > If I don
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