Question:
Welcome and don’t worry about how much you want to write. I’m glad you did. Both daily coping and future goals can be apart of normal, if that’s what you want. It’s kinda what I what. And of course, you should try for everything that you do want. Acceptance is sometimes the only choice when we can’t change ourselves, or our environment. I don’t believe that about ptsd, depression, etc. I’ve seen enough evidence that this is manageable, and then some. It’s taken time for me to integrate this into my program, but now I substitute words. It’s much like affirmations, and it does work. I rarely say, and I translate when I listen now — I substitute "can’t" and "unable" for unwilling and life takes on a different perspective. As for your dilemma concerning the choice of a psychiatrist, it sounds as though you’ve made the decision already. You sound much more hopeful at the prospects of the first psychiatrist. You didn’t write much about her, but I get the sense that her honesty is what is troubling you. It’s like going to a bald barber, or a toothless dentist. Going for long-term goals requires taking care of the day to day coping in my experience. As for hospitals, it depends on who you are. I refuse to be admitted to a hospital for psychiatric difficulties ever. If surgery is involved I will not stay more than ONE night. Hospital environments mean loss of freedom and having to trust other people to protect me. I won’t do that just yet. The more I work on other triggers the less frightening that prospect becomes. Good luck and write often for whatever reason or topic.
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Thanks for the feedback on "normal." I asked because the recommends reminded me of my second or third session with this therapist. During which I said I wanted to be happy. She asked what happiness (or normal) looked like for me. She was puzzled by my answer and said she had never heard anyone express it that way. I told her happiness, or normal meant feeling safe, secure, loved, lovable, wanted, and appreciated. The details didn’t matter.
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>BaliKris wrote: >> Kristine’s definition of Normal: >> Taking those plans and hopes that I have for my future in life, family, >career >> and personal growth then accomplishing them or coming as close as humanly >> possible. >Care to share Kris? Plans? Hopes?
Well, first and foremost, raising my child with confidence in my love and no fear from my touch. Having her trust, her absolute assurance of my love. That has been the best experience of my life from day one. Nope, haven’t been perfect, but she is not abused, neglected, minimized, demeaned or scapegoated (etc. etc.) like I was. I broke the cycle (God’s grace aiding). Second, education, as in being a teacher. I have a respectable pay earning career that I could continue but I’m more than that. I can do more. Not to sound egotistical, but I’m smarter than the job and I have more to offer to more people as a teacher and writer. I’m taking a break from school now and plan to return in the fall of next year. Wish I could say I’m ready now for this semester but I’m not. Be it a teaching certification, Master’s or PhD, I will accomplish this goal. Intimacy and endurance in my marriage and joy to boot. I want more than just the average marriage. Even being intimate emotionally is a big enough accomplishment in my book. Taking it further and growing in that love is something neither of my parents (each divorced 4 times) could do. I want to trust him. That itself is a miracle too. Life is truly alive when trust exists in a PTSDer – in my book. Top of my head and deep in my soul…those are a start for me. Kristine The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates -good point Socrates- What about my over-examined one that interferes with living?!?
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Kissproof wrote: >Part of me thinks I should be in a hospital right now. Has anyone ever been
hospitalized? Was that helpful?> Welcome, although I’m sorry you suffer as I can relate to and need to find yourself here. Welcome and I’m glad you posted =) Hospitalization is a pretty personal case by case experience. For me it was the wrong thing as a youngster after an assault. I was trapped. For me as a young adult it was salvation when I needed it. I WANTED to go and needed to go. It was a relief to regain my senses and get on some track. If you are feeling severely hammered by life and struggling mightily to hold it together or keep yourself intact then I encourage you to examine the option. It can be a huge help. Kristine The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates -good point Socrates- What about my over-examined one that interferes with living?!?
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- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -BaliKris wrote: > >BaliKris wrote: > >> Kristine’s definition of Normal: > >> Taking those plans and hopes that I have for my future in life, family, > >career > >> and personal growth then accomplishing them or coming as close as humanly > >> possible. > >Care to share Kris? Plans? Hopes? > Well, first and foremost, raising my child with confidence in my love and no > fear from my touch. Having her trust, her absolute assurance of my love. That > has been the best experience of my life from day one. Nope, haven’t been > perfect, but she is not abused, neglected, minimized, demeaned or scapegoated > (etc. etc.) like I was. I broke the cycle (God’s grace aiding). > Second, education, as in being a teacher. I have a respectable pay earning > career that I could continue but I’m more than that. I can do more. Not to > sound egotistical, but I’m smarter than the job and I have more to offer to > more people as a teacher and writer. I’m taking a break from school now and > plan to return in the fall of next year. Wish I could say I’m ready now for > this semester but I’m not. Be it a teaching certification, Master’s or PhD, I > will accomplish this goal. > Intimacy and endurance in my marriage and joy to boot. I want more than just > the average marriage. Even being intimate emotionally is a big enough > accomplishment in my book. Taking it further and growing in that love is > something neither of my parents (each divorced 4 times) could do. I want to > trust him. That itself is a miracle too. Life is truly alive when trust > exists in a PTSDer – in my book.
That was so nice to read, Kris. I found that too often we get caught up in the symptoms and diagnosis and the really positive things that need support get left out. What struck me most about what you wrote is trust. I’m finding wanting to trust people isn’t enough, I have to be willing as well.
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Kristine’s definition of Normal: Taking those plans and hopes that I have for my future in life, family, career and personal growth then accomplishing them or coming as close as humanly possible. Now from where I sit, I can’t work towards all of them because I’m NOT normal. But I think I’ll probably be normal and not even realize it (at some point). The unexamined life is not worth living – Socrates -good point Socrates- What about my over-examined one that interferes with living?!?
Response:
BaliKris wrote: > Kristine’s definition of Normal: > Taking those plans and hopes that I have for my future in life, family, career > and personal growth then accomplishing them or coming as close as humanly > possible.
Care to share Kris? Plans? Hopes?
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>Taking those plans and hopes that I have for my future in life, family, >career >and personal growth then accomplishing them or coming as close as humanly >possible.
Hi – this thread really hit home for me. This is my first post at this newsgroup, and I was sort of looking for a thread to respond to. One person wrote the above paragraph and someone else said, "being able to cope with every day life." I vascillate between those two things – sometimes all I want is just to get through the day, the week, like a "normal" person, and other times I can’t believe I grew up to be this person and I want the life that the person I know is inside me could have had – I want all the things – relationship, career, social life (and I have none of them). I also feel like I keep trying so hard to be this person I’m not but that I want to be, that I keep falling apart from not being able to handle what I set out to do. So now I wonder if I should try, I don’t know, accepting that this is who I am and try to find a way to organize my life around it – and even that would be a feat, finding a life I can cope with every day. If I can ramble on a little more, this is related to something I’m going through. I’m having a particularly horrible time right now–psychiatrically and in life–and once again I decided to see a therapist (I’ve had many years of therapy before and sort of swore off it a number of years ago). I had two consultations this week and the therapists are ironically this polar opposite of one another – one is sort of odd herself, and told me she’s struggled with depression and anxiety too, and the other is exactly the person I "was meant" to grow up to me – in fact her son and I, it turned out, went tot he same private school, and she graduated (earlier than I did) from the same graduate school I did – though she has her PhD and I didn’t get past my MA. Anyway, with the first I feel that I would be getting more feedback, coping skills, finding strength in who I am, and with the second I’d be aiming toward that ever-elusive cure again. But, the second one, who I felt was smarter and more knowledgable and better trained, gave me hardly any feedback, made me feel a bit inferior, and wanted to go all the way back to childhood and my mother AGAIN, when that was before the big trauma happened (a trauma that lasted a decade), and I came home from that appt. feeling anxious and hopeless about being cured. From the first therapist’s appt. I came home feeling more hopeful I could find a way to make my life work. Though, she really was sort of…. not normal? In a way, it’s the difference between the two replies – coping with daily life versus really wanting the whole, full, "cured" life, which has never happened by spending years in therapy anyway…. Part of me thinks I should be in a hospital right now. Has anyone ever been hospitalized? Was that helpful? I’m sorry I wrote so much, I know I’m a total stranger here.
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All this talk has me wondering… How do you picture "normal?"
Response:
Ron Nicholson <ba…@home.com> wrote in message
news:3A2C2744.4DA71D0E@home.com… > All this talk has me wondering… > How do you picture "normal?"
Being able to cope with everyday life. Margaret
Response:
margaret szedenits wrote: > Ron Nicholson <ba…@home.com> wrote in message > news:3A2C2744.4DA71D0E@home.com… > > All this talk has me wondering… > > How do you picture "normal?" > Being able to cope with everyday life. > Margaret
I’d say you’re normal then. You’re coping with everything life has thrown your way. You’ve found ways to deal with the most mundane, to the terrifying.
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