Question:
I’ve been reading the posts and I’m still not sure how I feel about someone willingly, even in fun accepting a label — singleton the SPD. I thought that was really bothering me. But I decided that’s not it, well a little, but it’s my problem, no one elses.. I’m about 3 months into a new relationship. I still can’t believe this man, every time he opens his mouth about something that matters, the right words just come out. He does these little things that can make watching vidoes perfect moments. Just really incredible that way, and happily not to good to be true, ya understand what that means? The first really "intimate" thing he said to me was "I’ll always keep you SAFE." Wow. (Hey pal you readin my mail, eavesdroppin outside my th’s window or what). I never even need to hear that other magic 4 letter word. And he keeps saying and doing things like that. We’re both older, I’m 48 he’s 55. One day he read the lines in my hand and foot (claims to be part Romany) and looked at me and said you have 3 personalities. (Observation or do the lines know? 
) I told him the dx a week later, before I felt we were really involved. deBorah’s even made a few appearances. He really likes her. I don’t know if it is fair to him to continue this relationship with him. Jack was different, he knew the dx, he was a th*r*pist and had worked with a lot of PTSD ‘nam vets and would go to th with me a few times, to get more information and to learn not to be my th, I didn’t feel this conflict with him, he knew pretty well what he was getting into. I don’t know if its fair or not. I’m finding myself getting inolved on levels I wasn’t even aware of being capable of obtaining. I’m confused. I don’t want to hurt anyone even inadvertently, and don’t know if it’s possible not to. Selfishly, I feel go for it and ethically I’m saying well – can you do this to someone? Any words of wisdom out there?
Response:
You have the power of the web behind you. Why don’t surf with him through a few sights. And have a few open discussions. I’m sure he has a small idea of what your about even though he may not be all that knowledgeable. Let him make that choice, don’t take it away from him, or you may deny yourself a chance at happiness. I too am a piece of work, wanting to save a wonderful man from *ME* He reminded me of his right to choose *soft smile* It’s only gotten better. Maybe this is in store for you also. (here’s a hug if you want it) Good luck!!! Sassy – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’ve been reading the posts and I’m still not sure how I feel about someone willingly, even in fun accepting a label — singleton the SPD. I thought that was really bothering me. But I decided that’s not it, well a little, but it’s my problem, no one elses.. I’m about 3 months into a new relationship. I still can’t believe this man, every time he opens his mouth about something that matters, the right words just come out. He does these little things that can make watching vidoes perfect moments. Just really incredible that way, and happily not to good to be true, ya understand what that means? The first really "intimate" thing he said to me was "I’ll always keep you SAFE." Wow. (Hey pal you readin my mail, eavesdroppin outside my th’s window or what). I never even need to hear that other magic 4 letter word. And he keeps saying and doing things like that. We’re both older, I’m 48 he’s 55. One day he read the lines in my hand and foot (claims to be part Romany) and looked at me and said you have 3 personalities. (Observation or do the lines know? ) I told him the dx a week later, before I felt we were really involved. deBorah’s even made a few appearances. He really likes her. I don’t know if it is fair to him to continue this relationship with him. Jack was different, he knew the dx, he was a th*r*pist and had worked with a lot of PTSD ‘nam vets and would go to th with me a few times, to get more information and to learn not to be my th, I didn’t feel this conflict with him, he knew pretty well what he was getting into. I don’t know if its fair or not. I’m finding myself getting inolved on levels I wasn’t even aware of being capable of obtaining. I’m confused. I don’t want to hurt anyone even inadvertently, and don’t know if it’s possible not to. Selfishly, I feel go for it and ethically I’m saying well – can you do this to someone? Any words of wisdom out there?
Response:
I don’t know if its fair or not. I’m finding myself getting inolved on levels I wasn’t even aware of being capable of obtaining. I’m confused. I don’t want to hurt anyone even inadvertently, and don’t know if it’s possible not to. Selfishly, I feel go for it and ethically I’m saying well – can you do this to someone? Any words of wisdom out there?
I would say let it be his decision. As long as he knows the facts about you, then he can make up his mind on whether it will be ok for him or not. Most of the women I dated with DID tend to push me away a lot. It took a lot of convincing that I knew what I was getting into and it was my decision to stay before they stopped trying to break up with me. Hope it goes well for you. Scott — Scott McKinley Common sense is the collection of prejudices — Albert Einstein
Response:
I don’t know if its fair or not. I’m finding myself getting inolved on levels I wasn’t even aware of being capable of obtaining. I’m confused. I don’t want to hurt anyone even inadvertently, and don’t know if it’s possible not to. Selfishly, I feel go for it and ethically I’m saying well – can you do this to someone?
So long as he can freely make the decision, based upon knowledge of DID and you can trust him, please make yourself happy.
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