Question:
>This month is full of memories and triggers (BTW is there anything > like an anniversary of triggers?)
I tried sending this message last night and it didn’t go though, so here goes again! Hi nv, There absolutely is such a thing as "anniversary triggers." You might want to read some of the suggestions in a thread from this group a while back called "putting out the cushions" Here’s the address (or you can simply type in "puting out the cushions" in a search). Remember to put in all the symbols, numbers, and letters in order to go directly to the thread: http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=putting+out… Take very good care of yourself, nv. Anniversary triggers can be rough. Anne on the prairie.
Response:
"noctuvigila" <noctuvig…@arcor.de> wrote in message
news:3ECFE129.7010901@arcor.de… > Hi hopeful one, > > I haven’t been very vocal lately; I’m a little bit wiped out with my own > > stuff, but I am listening. > Me too. This month is full of memories and triggers (BTW is there anything > like an anniversary of triggers?)
Sorry to hear that you’re having problems, too 
I think it’s pretty common for anniversaries to be triggering. Mine usually hits hardest in the fall and winter, because that is when the most recent series of triggering traumas happened. > and besides I am still trying to get this > damned family stuff under control. How about your meeting? Have you decided > yet whether to go or not?
Thanks for remembering. Like many things, I’ve gone into "freeze response" on this one. I’m really adept at inaction, and things that bother me often cease to exist in my mind. That’s what has happened with this trip. I haven’t been thinking about it, except occasionally. I’ll most likely go– I’ve sort of already decided that I should– but I haven’t done anything further to set the wheels in motion yet. Small steps. Maybe I ought to take another of those soon. Hopeful One
Response:
noctuvigila <noctuvig…@arcor.de> wrote in message <news:3ECFE129.7010901@arcor.de>… > Hi hopeful one, > > I haven’t been very vocal lately; I’m a little bit wiped out with my own > > stuff, but I am listening. > Me too. This month is full of memories and triggers (BTW is there anything > like an anniversary of triggers?) and besides I am still trying to get this > damned family stuff under control. How about your meeting? Have you decided > yet whether to go or not? > Take care, > nv
A warm Hello, NV! I second the opinions that anniversaries can have triggers of memories and anxiety. Perhaps you can try substituting more positive activities on the anniversary days, like going shopping, buying yourself a present for surviving the trauma, talking to a friend, etc. etc. I leave it to your imagination to find ways to treat yourself well during such times. with compassion and respect, Ted
Response:
Hi ((((Anne))), how are you doing lately? Hope you are at least able to find some release on the prairie with the animals and all that. Have you seen some wild horses lately? Thanks a lot for your reply. I’ll be ‘putting out the cushions’ soon as you suggested. 
Hope you also thought about doing that for yourself lately? > Take very good care of yourself, nv.
Thanks a lot. Same to you. Good wishes and a big hug, nv
Response:
Hi abandoned and hi little boy, thanks again for your reply. >>I wish you that this new diagnosis will give you new insights into yourself >>and your hidden characters. Furthermore, I hope that the girl and the >>little boy will at least manage to talk to each other in the future and >>come to an agreement. Maybe then you won’t need the rope and the pills anymore. > therapist wants them to communicate but that will probably not happen as > the little boy has too many fears and now she who is the Protector is > afraid that he will ask for things that she cannot physically do.
I imagine it very frightening to hear some people speaking inside of me. So it might not be a bad idea if your therp is present when you three try this. Probably he can take part and help you? Maybe he can talk to the little boy and afterwards he could talk to the girl protector? Probably the girl could arrange a safe environment for the little boy, so that he doesn’t have to be too anxious? For instance to bring some little toys to your next session to calm the little boy? A big soft teddy bear is always good. And something for the girl protector, too. How old is he and she by the way? Good luck to you both, nv
Response:
Hi, thanks for your reply. > i have feelings that you are making fun of me even though you seem to be > trying to be kind. i do not think this is the right place for me. there > is too much hostility felt. No, I assure you that I didn’t and I don’t intend to make fun out of you. Really! I am sorry, if I have addressed you the wrong way. I have to admit that I do not know much about multiple personalities. Since you had signed one of your earlier posts with x/y , I thought it would be more appropriate to address both of your personalities now, so that the little boy doesn’t feel neglected or something. Should I only write to abandoned? Dunno. Sorry. > boy does not talk outside. girl talked about boy but has little good to > say about him. girl thought previous relationship was "safe" and little > boy naturally came out and exposed all his vulnerabilities. he was erased > trashed disposed of annhiliated. abandoned made mistake.
? abandoned made mistake because she talked with him or abandoned made mistake in the past? > no toys. boy never had toys that he could play with. toys were given to > the boy but they were never what he wanted and were always things the > adults wanted. my little boy was never allowed to be a child.
Has boy told abandoned what he wants? Maybe a computer game, or some electronic equipment? Is little boy allowed to be a child now or does abandoned not allow him to be a child? > the girl protector is my age. she is me but i am not sure anymore. i do > not know the boy’s age as it is different at different times. he is twelve > he is 2 he is 5 he is 7. i don’t know.
So he is in principle still a child. Childs are very vulnerable. Does boy tell abandoned how he _feels_ and what he would like to do? > i have a bear but he does not leave the house and there is only allowed one > bear.
Oh, OK. Has abandoned already tried to make her sessions more comfortable, maybe some cushions, a fluffy blanket or something to help little boy talk to therp? What could be done to help little boy and what could be done to help abandoned? Take care, nv
Response:
Hi nv! >I’ll be ‘putting out the cushions’ soon as you >suggested. >Hope you also thought about doing that for yourself lately?
Good suggestion, nv! >> Take very good care of yourself, nv.
Thanks nv. a big hug back to you {{{{{{{{nv}}}}}}}} Anne on the prairie
Response:
Hi, abandoned! It sounds like you have some new dimensions to explore. Interesting diagnosis, and it sure sounds like it holds some possibilities for you. May this be the puzzle piece that you’ve been needing! I’m very glad you’re still here, and I hope you’ll continue to post and talk and express yourself and work through it all in whatever way may help you. I haven’t been very vocal lately; I’m a little bit wiped out with my own stuff, but I am listening. I have no problem with the anonymous posts; I prefer to remain anonymous myself although I haven’t gone to quite those lengths yet. If I felt I needed to do that to give myself an adequate comfort level, I most certainly would do it. Please do whatever you need to do in order to feel safe. All the best, Hopeful One "abandoned" <fr…@rodent.frell.eu.org> wrote in message
news:aa7bfc5b54674e229de7a407264debbc@remailer.frell.eu.org… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> NOTE: This message was sent thru a mail2news gateway. > No effort was made to verify the identity of the sender. > ——————————————————– > a new diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder was given yesterday. so > far there is only one alter who is a "she" (the woman i became decades > ago). the other person is the "ilttle boy" who she protected from extreme > physical and s*xual v*ol*nce. > that there remains major depression, PTSD, su*c*dal thoughts is evident but > at least the new realization that there is another person inside of me who > is completely different than "abandonment" clarifies some things. > integrration may not be possible due to the differences and the strong > possibility that one really resents and sometimes hates the other one or at > least the female "abandonment" didlikes the little boy. > so thought the pills (that don’t really work for a su too well) and the > rope around the doorknob will remain just in case i need a final escape, at > least now there will be more clairity to all of this stuff. > and another detail came out regarding my ab*se and it almost caused my > therapist to cry over it as it was so senseless and so violent a thing to > happe to a preschooler. > so to those of you here who still have problems with my being anonomyous, > or that i ams just "searching for sympathy", or whatever other things you > can dream up about me that is negative, "abandoned", my girl protector will > say a very hearty FUCK YOU. > yep, that’s what she’s like. > all others are free to comment as they wish. > abandoned
Response:
Hi abandoned, your post sounded so relieved that some of the ’secrets’ behind your misery had been unveiled, that I considered for a splitting second to congratulate you on this. But that would have been inappropriate, I guess. I wish you that this new diagnosis will give you new insights into yourself and your hidden characters. Furthermore, I hope that the girl and the little boy will at least manage to talk to each other in the future and come to an agreement. Maybe then you won’t need the rope and the pills anymore. Good luck, nv – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> a new diagnosis of dissociative identity disorder was given yesterday. so > far there is only one alter who is a "she" (the woman i became decades > ago). the other person is the "ilttle boy" who she protected from extreme > physical and s*xual v*ol*nce. > that there remains major depression, PTSD, su*c*dal thoughts is evident but > at least the new realization that there is another person inside of me who > is completely different than "abandonment" clarifies some things. > integrration may not be possible due to the differences and the strong > possibility that one really resents and sometimes hates the other one or at > least the female "abandonment" didlikes the little boy. > so thought the pills (that don’t really work for a su too well) and the > rope around the doorknob will remain just in case i need a final escape, at > least now there will be more clairity to all of this stuff. > and another detail came out regarding my ab*se and it almost caused my > therapist to cry over it as it was so senseless and so violent a thing to > happe to a preschooler. > so to those of you here who still have problems with my being anonomyous, > or that i ams just "searching for sympathy", or whatever other things you > can dream up about me that is negative, "abandoned", my girl protector will > say a very hearty FUCK YOU. > yep, that’s what she’s like. > all others are free to comment as they wish. > abandoned
Response:
Hi hopeful one, > I haven’t been very vocal lately; I’m a little bit wiped out with my own > stuff, but I am listening.
Me too. This month is full of memories and triggers (BTW is there anything like an anniversary of triggers?) and besides I am still trying to get this damned family stuff under control. How about your meeting? Have you decided yet whether to go or not? Take care, nv
Response:
> Hi hopeful one, > > I haven’t been very vocal lately; I’m a little bit wiped out with my own > > stuff, but I am listening. > Me too. This month is full of memories and triggers (BTW is there anything > like an anniversary of triggers?) and besides I am still trying to get this > damned family stuff under control. How about your meeting? Have you decided > yet whether to go or not? > Take care, > nv
Hi ng, Yes, the "anniversary trigger" experience is very real. My time of year for that is December. The Thread "Putting Out the Cushions" helped a lot last year. Maybe it will help you. Here’s the address: http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=putting+out… Just remember to put in all the letters and symbols. Otherwise you can initiate your own search for that thread by typing in "putting out the cushions" in the search space. Hope you can find ways to be good to yourself. It can be rough, I know. Take care, ng. Anne on the prairie http://groups.google.com/groups?hl=en&lr=&ie=ISO-8859-1&q=putting+out…
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