Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Well it’s new years and all is supposed to be well and with the new year all is supposed to be good out with the bad as they say.  I’m a singel mother of three.  Well actually working on a divorce I’ve gotten hit on three times tonight all for sex which really upsets me because I value myself worth more than that.  Then I make the stupid mistake and call my family just to get chewed out because it’s so late, and to call friends or a therapist opn new years seems so selfish especially when my own brother and sister chew me out.  Sometimes I wonder who I’m fighting for.  Sometimes I wonder if it’s  just easier to give up and call it quits.  My kids help me alot but there’s more in life I want. Is it so bad to know what you want and to shoot for a goal, but most importantly what do you do when it seems no one cares.  Like I said I value my7self more than aa sex object. Heck I was that for half of my life and the other half was some ones punching bag.  To all that read this I appologise I just needed to vent.            Thank   M

Response:

Hi bubbles! Happy New Year! >I’ve gotten hit on > three times tonight all for sex which really upsets me because I value > myself worth more than that.

Toxic place? >  Then I make the stupid mistake and call my > family just to get chewed out because it’s so late,

Toxic family? > Sometimes I wonder who I’m fighting > for.  Sometimes I wonder if it’s  just easier to give up and call it > quits.  My kids help me alot but there’s more in life I want. Is it so > bad to know what you want and to shoot for a goal, but most importantly > what do you do when it seems no one cares.

Fortunately, when I can feel the war inside I know that I am going to make myself sicker if I don’t refuse to fight the war. This has taken a long time. I need to stay away from toxic people, toxic places and toxic things.  The only thing I can change is my own attitudes, not my beliefs, just my attitudes towards those who do not share my beliefs.  One of the things that I need to do is make myself safe from those toxic people by setting my own boundaries. When I get toxic messages from toxic people, I need to not be in their presence. Someday, HP willing, I will be able to be in the presence of toxic people and not feel the poison.  Not today, tho. You are very lucky in that you know what you want!  I’ve spent a lot of time lately trying to figure out who I am. :/ Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy

Response:

Nancy wrote: >The only >thing I can change is my own attitudes, not my beliefs…

This one intrigues me. Why can’t you change your beliefs? Risa How did people figure out that eggs were good to eat?

Response:

Hi Risa! > >The only > >thing I can change is my own attitudes, not my beliefs… > This one intrigues me. Why can’t you change your beliefs?

Mostly because I need to stop being a chameleon.  I don’t know if it is part of ptsd or not, but I’ve spent a lot of my life being the good daughter, the good soldier, the good wife, the good salesperson, the good mother etc.  I’ve been hiding in plain view, the safest place to be. I recriminated myself when my beliefs did not fit in with the folks around me. Unfortunately, I could not view the world with others’ eyes, no matter how hard and how long I tried.  My attempts made me sicker.  I became more and more ashamed when I could not ‘fit in’ with other’s belief patterns. Shame and guilt seem to be a big part of ptsd. What I’ve learned is to change my attitude.  To realize that my path does not have to coincide with others’ expectations and with others’ realities and beliefs.  I’ve learned that those who ‘require’ that I accept their view are toxic to my sanity. My beliefs seem to be who I am, my attitudes seem to be what I can change to make my life more comfortable. This may be a bit convoluted; I hope that I have made myself somewhat clear. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy > How did people figure out that eggs were good to eat?

I don’t know … do you?

Response:

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