Question:
On 18 Aug 1998 05:51:55 GMT, redhead…@aol.com (Redhead929) wrote: – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text ->my fiance has pstd, and has described his "breakdown" (apparently he "snapped" >after a fine military career began to go to hell after 19 years)–he said to >imagine a kitty on acid, up against the wall, surrounded by vicious dogs…. >sounds pretty fucking awful, doesn’t it… >we pray alot. I’ve got to believe that this brilliant man can reclaim himself >completely. >He is so wonderful and brave. He never thought he could be psychologically >wounded. He would’ve preferred, I’m certain, the loss of his limbs–anything >but this. >Joyce Anne Oates
Response:
Sea Wolf, firstly I would like to commend you for wanting to know more about ptsd. Being a sufferer from it, I get depression, anxiety, paranoia, and possibly, the worst of the lot, at unexpected times, I get total recall of the events that led to the trauma/s. These recalls appear real in a physical sense, I can hear, smell, taste, the events as they happen again. It is not unlike reliving a pleasant experience, only these were traumatic. The best thing that you can do for your friend is to just be there. You will never be able to understand what he has gone through, but being with him when he is down and suffering and not making light of his problems can be of the greatest assistance of all. Bruce.
Response:
my fiance has pstd, and has described his "breakdown" (apparently he "snapped" after a fine military career began to go to hell after 19 years)–he said to imagine a kitty on acid, up against the wall, surrounded by vicious dogs…. sounds pretty fucking awful, doesn’t it… we pray alot. I’ve got to believe that this brilliant man can reclaim himself completely. He is so wonderful and brave. He never thought he could be psychologically wounded. He would’ve preferred, I’m certain, the loss of his limbs–anything but this. Joyce Anne Oates
Response:
That’s sad to hear. 
But he can heal. PTSD is an emotional wound – like having a broken leg. And even though there tend to be scars and it will never be like it didn’t happen, he can heal and be strong again – maybe in a new way. Yes … PTSD is pretty awful. That description of the cat on acid up against the wall is a very good way to describe how flashbacks from PTSD have felt for me. I think what has carried over the most for me from the trauma that left me with PTSD was the loss of that childish innocence where one thinks that maybe the world really is *good* and *nothing bad happens to me*. There is always that realization that bad things can and do happen. And I am very aware of my mortality – sometimes more than I care to be. It’s hard to be aware of one’s mortality in a world filled with people who are oblivous to theirs and others. I heard many things that described how I felt in the midst of the worst of my memories and flashbacks (which were for me a sign that I was beginning to heal – like picking off a huge scab and re-cleaning the wound). F. Scott Fitzgerald once wrote that he was like a beautiful peace of cracked china. That where once he had been used for formal dinners, now with the seam where he’d been glued together, he was only appropriate for late night snacks and dinner for the cat. But I don’t feel so much like that anymore (I’ve been in therapy for ten years for PTSD, panic disorder, anorexia and agoraphobia all resulting from childhood trauma). I think humans have an enormous capacity to heal – both physically and emotionally. But it takes a long time. And lots of love and support for the person who’s healing. Your fiance is lucky to have someone like you to love him. Your desire to understand and your love for him will be very very helpful. Does he have a professional counselor to talk to? That’s important too, to help him sort out the jumble of emotions he’s probably having. That would be my recipe for healing – professional counseling, lots of time, and lots of love and support from the people around him. Julia In article <1998081805515500.BAA19…@ladder03.news.aol.com>, redhead…@aol.com (Redhead929) wrote: > my fiance has pstd, and has described his "breakdown" (apparently he "snapped" > after a fine military career began to go to hell after 19 years)–he said to > imagine a kitty on acid, up against the wall, surrounded by vicious dogs…. > sounds pretty fucking awful, doesn’t it… > we pray alot. I’ve got to believe that this brilliant man can reclaim himself > completely. > He is so wonderful and brave. He never thought he could be psychologically > wounded. He would’ve preferred, I’m certain, the loss of his limbs–anything > but this. > Joyce Anne Oates
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Response:
I have been reading these posts and have got some good sites from them as well. I have a recent acquaintance who is a viet vet with ptsd. I would like to be able to better understand what he feels and goes through so I can be more understanding of what he needs. Can anyone help, based on how you feel personally, or steer me to another web site. Thank-you. — MZ
Response:
Want to understand what he is going through?: Go to combat and get traumatized. I’m not trying to be mean or discourage you from trying to help him, I am only trying to accent a point that it is a very hard thing for outsiders to grasp. You are obviously a well meaning person. The fact is, if he is anything like me you won’t understand. I am very open when telling people (including doctors) about what I am going through, but they all look at me sideways after I explain. The fact that you are interested in what he is going through will probably help him a lot, on the other hand it is good that you are asking us what we go through because if he is anything like me, he might get aggitated and feel hopeless and more alone if he confides in you and you end up being one more person that doesn’t understand. I cannot speak for him, but what I most want from friends is not to be ridiculed or even looked at funny when my symptoms show themselves: it is hard enough going through this without people giving you more shit. Regardless of what doctors say, people (including therapist) who has not gone through PTSD cannot imagine experiences like your friend’s because PTSD irreversibly changes your perceptions of the world. If you understood what he was going through then your perceptions would also be changed, but IMO "normal" peoples denial response will not let you see thing the way we do. I think a central part of PTSD is having incorrect, widely held perceptions of life shattered. I feel that my PTSD was an unpleasant awakening to what the extremes of life are all about. I don’t know what your friend’s experience entailed, but if, when you are on your death bed drawing your last breath, you are conscious and alert, you will know what I felt during my trauma. Keep trying and listen to the people on this group: some of them are a good source of advise. Mine is only one opinion and you will probably even find some people here that disagree. From what I understand the movie, "Saving Private Ryan" has some very disturbing shit in it, but I heard some WWII Vets who saw it say, seeing it is the next closest thing to actually being there. Seeing it may give you some small understanding of what your friend had to live through. Good luck. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Sea Wolf wrote: > I have been reading these posts and have got some good sites from them > as well. I have a recent acquaintance who is a viet vet with ptsd. I would > like to be able to better understand what he feels and goes through so I > can be more understanding of what he needs. Can anyone help, based on how > you feel personally, or steer me to another web site. Thank-you. > — > MZ
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