Question:
Hi, everybody. I am struggling with some big stuff right now. I posted about my attempts to force myself to be less withdrawn by taking on part time relatively low stress kinds of jobs. Well, it never rains but it pours. Not only do I feel like I have taken on more than I can handle with the 2 part time things, but today, to confuse me even more, we have this new development: I just had a phone call from an employment agency which has a couple of great jobs that the old me would be perfect for, though I really am not sure about the new me. I want to give it a shot, but I am terrified that they will not want me when they learn about the PTSD, and the therapy (physical and psychological). And of course, I am terrified that I will not be able to handle the pressure, and will flash or panic and be the days entertainment, and then fired. And its not just the PTSD either. I have physical problems from the accident too, and chronic pain. I don’t know how good an actor I am. I don’t know if I can appear normal on a full time basis. Anybody have any advice for me? Should I fess up and tell them all the things that are wrong with me? Or keep it to myself, until I get the job, or even after? This is especially hard because I have just been told by my doctor that there is a really great pain clinic I could benefit from, but their program is a 3 week in-patient thing. So, do I tell my prospective employer about this, or keep it to myself? Do it, or try and put it off and stay in pain a little while longer? (At this point, it has been years…) I am so stressed out and confused. I feel lost. I just don’t know what to do! And in trying to appear "normal", I really feel like an imposter now! Help! I need some wisdom! Chele
Response:
> Anybody have any advice for me? Should I fess up and tell them all the > things that are wrong with me? Or keep it to myself, until I get the job, > or even after? > This is especially hard because I have just been told by my doctor that > there is a really great pain clinic I could benefit from, but their program > is a 3 week in-patient thing. So, do I tell my prospective employer about > this, or keep it to myself? Do it, or try and put it off and stay in pain > a little while longer? (At this point, it has been years…)
Chele, Do what you need to do to take care of you. You are your biggest priority. If money and a job is a bigger priority in your life than your pain, that is for you to decide. Weigh against this that here you have an excellent (hopefully) opportunity to work with your pain, there will be more jobs in the future, but fewer chances to take the time to work on your pain. Take care of you, you’ve suffered enough. Very few new employers will have much patience with a new employee taking time off their new job to go away for three weeks, for whatever purpose. As far as what to tell your employer, if they ask tell the truth. If it’s irrelevant to the satisfactory performance of the job, and they don’t ask, you have a right to privacy. Remember, if they don’t understand your pain, and it’s irrelevant to the job, you could put yourself at a disadvantage by sharing your story with those who don’t hear the music, or who might have little compassion. It’s not covering anything up, it’s taking care of you and protecting your right to your privacy. And if it is important that your employer know of your pain situation, tell them. By doing so you will put the cards on the table. If they buy you, they buy your pain. If they don’t, perhaps it’s the best thing for you, which is even better than the best thing for them. JP
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.