Question:
Hi Scarlett! —————- snip —————- > If she thinks I can handle things, she runs much smoother, but when > I’m down, she doesnt handle that well. I guess this is normal > behaviour, don’t you think?
For me and my son, it became a game that I didn’t know I was playing. He was so ‘needy’ as a teen that he decided to try to be sicker than I was. Of course, he failed … thank goodness! I learned healthier behaviors and he started to emulate what he saw. The result is that he is much healthier emotionally now at 22, than he was then. And, he is finally starting to live a relatively normal, happy life. My therpaist told me that my son would only get better as he could see me getting better. She was correct for us. YMMV Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
Hi Scarlett! ———— snip ——– > is there any hope that i will be able to > control these episodes of separation? scarlett
One of the most difficult concepts in PTSD recovery, at least for me, is the idea that controlling anything is impossible, especially my psych reactions. Control means, to me, that my mind can manage itself. My mind cannot. The DID symptoms can be alleviated, if not eliminated, by my taking care of myself. Meds, talk therapy, concentration or meditation, physical activity … when I do all of these things, my symptoms are much fewer, and I have not … knock on wood … had such a separation for several years. IME, PTSD recovery involves a concentrated effort to _not_ try to control my symptoms. I try to make sure that I do the things I’ve been taught to reduce my stress levels. The DID stuff then subsides. YMMV Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
"Nancy" <ki…@coxinvalid.net> wrote in message
news:Xns941C4BDBBC6D2kipcocoxinvalidnet@68.1.17.6… ———— snip ——– > The DID symptoms can be alleviated, if not eliminated, by my taking care > of myself. Meds, talk therapy, concentration or meditation, physical > activity … when I do all of these things, my symptoms are much fewer, > and I have not … knock on wood … had such a separation for several > years.
Thank you for your quick response. I have had separation episodes for as far back as I can remember, just none this severe. And you are right about taking care of myself. I believe because I was under such tremendous stress is what triggered this one. I had quit taking my nighttime meds , afraid that I wouldn’t wake up if my daughter needed me. Subsequently I wasn’t sleeping. Couple that with stress and its a sure coctail for disaster. I did drive on Saturday but just wasn’t comfortable doing it. Even getting out to walk the dogs I find upsetting. My therapist’s reply when I told him what had happened was "I was wondering when you’d finally snap." Guess I was wound pretty tight. Anyway, as I told a friend of mine, when I hit bottom this time I was faced with a Hobson’s Choice, and the only direction to go from there was up…things are settling down again and I’m back to sleeping. My daughter, on the other hand is beginning to spin out again. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt because I can’t "be there" to help her. Her father died when she was 18 months and I am all she has. So I put on a happy face and try to assure her that we’ll make it thru this time of trials. Her stress is a direct result of how I feel. If she thinks I can handle things, she runs much smoother, but when I’m down, she doesnt handle that well. I guess this is normal behaviour, don’t you think? Scarlett
Response:
I am a 49 year old female diagnosed with ptsd and did…i have just recently retired after 30 years in the telecommunications field and i’ve been approved for disalibity (social security). 2 weeks ago i left my pschiatrists office after an unsceduled appointment to sign some paperwork. i had the shakes really bad and could feel my mind starting to race. the last thing i remember was walking around and around the parking lot of the hospital trying to find my car. i couldn’t even remember what color or type of car i had. what should have taken me 15 minutes to get home ended up being 12 hours…next thing i remember i was on the side of the road out of gas. my daughter called on my cell upset that i had forgotten to pick her up from school and take her to her doctor’s appointment..when she asked me where i was, all i could do was cry…i had no clue where i was, where i was going…she kept asking me over and over where i was and i would only get more confused..finally a car stopped with two couples inside, looked to be in their 70’s..they asked me if i needed help but i backed way up to the fence and was afraid of them. my phone rang again and it was my best friend asking me where i was …i told her i didnt know…i told her about the car that had stopped so she asked me to give them the phone so i did…long story, shorter version , my friend and daughter drove up to meet me…seems i was about 90 miles northeast of home on some highway i’d never even heard of..a policeman came and called tow truck to bring me some gas..they got the car started but i knew i was in no condition to drive so i asked if i could just come to the station and wait for my help to arrive. he agreed…this whole incident scared me so much that i handed over my car keys to my daughter and haven’t driven since. i called my therapist when i woke up and talked with him…he explained that i was experiencing a fugue, separation in my mind, sorta like what used to be known as multiple personality …now known as did…i have been under tremendous stress lately so i guess i had to snap sometime. only good part was it was a wake up call for my daughter. i think she really believed that i wasn’t that bad off, that if i just changed my thoughts to more positive ones that i’d be ok. she did tell me the the next day that that was the first time she’d ever been on the other side of a crisis…it was always her before and me trying to take care of her. has anyone else experienced something similar? the last time i remember one this serious was when my mother died…i flew on an airplane with my brother seated across the aisle from me but i didnt know who he was…i kept looking at him thinking i should know him but didnt. this was in 1978. is there any hope that i will be able to control these episodes of separation? scarlett — "This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness." ~Dalai Lama~
Response:
I had the same sort of thing happen to me Scarlett. It was really frightening to come out of a store and draw a total blank on how I got there to begin with. Like you, I couldn’t remember if I drove there or took a bus or cab or what. Finally I figured I must’ve driven as I was in a large parking lot full of cars, but I couldn’t remember what kind of car I might have had, not even the color car it was. Things like that happened to me a couple times, I’d forget how to get home, not know where I was, nothing looked familiar to me, etc. Until I finally was afraid to drive anywhere. I’m still not driving very much, usually only when I have someone else along with me. best, td "Scarlett" <scarlett…@worldnet.att.net> wrote in message
news:w7dlb.188029$0v4.14531675@bgtnsc04-news.ops.worldnet.att.net… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I am a 49 year old female diagnosed with ptsd and did…i have just recently > retired after 30 years in the telecommunications field and i’ve been > approved for disalibity (social security). 2 weeks ago i left my > pschiatrists office after an unsceduled appointment to sign some paperwork. > i had the shakes really bad and could feel my mind starting to race. the > last thing i remember was walking around and around the parking lot of the > hospital trying to find my car. i couldn’t even remember what color or type > of car i had. what should have taken me 15 minutes to get home ended up > being 12 hours…next thing i remember i was on the side of the road out of > gas. my daughter called on my cell upset that i had forgotten to pick her up > from school and take her to her doctor’s appointment..when she asked me > where i was, all i could do was cry…i had no clue where i was, where i was > going…she kept asking me over and over where i was and i would only get > more confused..finally a car stopped with two couples inside, looked to be > in their 70’s..they asked me if i needed help but i backed way up to the > fence and was afraid of them. my phone rang again and it was my best friend > asking me where i was …i told her i didnt know…i told her about the car > that had stopped so she asked me to give them the phone so i did…long > story, shorter version , my friend and daughter drove up to meet me…seems > i was about 90 miles northeast of home on some highway i’d never even heard > of..a policeman came and called tow truck to bring me some gas..they got the > car started but i knew i was in no condition to drive so i asked if i could > just come to the station and wait for my help to arrive. he agreed…this > whole incident scared me so much that i handed over my car keys to my > daughter and haven’t driven since. i called my therapist when i woke up and > talked with him…he explained that i was experiencing a fugue, separation > in my mind, sorta like what used to be known as multiple personality …now > known as did…i have been under tremendous stress lately so i guess i had > to snap sometime. only good part was it was a wake up call for my daughter. > i think she really believed that i wasn’t that bad off, that if i just > changed my thoughts to more positive ones that i’d be ok. she did tell me > the the next day that that was the first time she’d ever been on the other > side of a crisis…it was always her before and me trying to take care of > her. has anyone else experienced something similar? the last time i remember > one this serious was when my mother died…i flew on an airplane with my > brother seated across the aisle from me but i didnt know who he was…i kept > looking at him thinking i should know him but didnt. this was in 1978. is > there any hope that i will be able to control these episodes of separation? > scarlett > — > "This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for > complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the > philosophy is kindness." > ~Dalai Lama~
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