Question:
On 29 August 98 my son was brutally beaten and drowned. He was a twin and a lovely gentle man, he was 30. The murder committal proceedings take place on 12 January, after many false starts. I am having major problems coming to terms with the fact that he is no more. Almost to the point of insanity, because he was such a popular, well loved and accomplished person. How can we effect a change on society and establish real, honest, and genuine values to all our lives.
Response:
Joan Dawson wrote: > On 29 August 98 my son was brutally beaten and drowned. He was a twin and a > lovely gentle man, he was 30. The murder committal proceedings take place > on 12 January, after many false starts. I am having major problems coming > to terms with the fact that he is no more. Almost to the point of insanity, > because he was such a popular, well loved and accomplished person.
Hello, I’m so sorry to hear of your tragic loss. I don’t know what to say, other than offering my condolences to you and your family. > How can > we effect a change on society and establish real, honest, and genuine > values to all our lives.
Good question! If there was an answer to that one, this world would would be a better place. Best wishes Peace -G. — Peace is the answer… …wanna’ fight about it? -G.
Response:
Joan Dawson wrote: > On 29 August 98 my son was brutally beaten and drowned. He was a twin and a > lovely gentle man, he was 30. The murder committal proceedings take place > on 12 January, after many false starts. I am having major problems coming > to terms with the fact that he is no more. Almost to the point of insanity, > because he was such a popular, well loved and accomplished person. How can > we effect a change on society and establish real, honest, and genuine > values to all our lives.
This was posted yesterday at 3.24 pm. I have counted one persons reply to this heartbreaking cry to this for help (two hours after it was issued). At 10.29am today a post began that triggered over 35 responses, most of which has nothing to do with support for PTSD or trauma. This has been more like the ‘Jerry Springer’ Show……..Alt. support. trash-talk………the level of self-absorption, whining, and back biting here is mind-bending. When I read the above post yesterday, my fingers were as frozen, as my mind. It took two hours for me to compose the first sentence. I finally finished my reply to Joan an hour ago. I decided not to post it here because of all the bullshit. It’s too bad. I wanted to. Somebody might have found value in it. Capt. bob (feeling desolate)
Response:
Dear Joan, I took so long to respond to your post not because I did hear your plea for compassionate understanding, but because I found myself feeling shocked and horrified. I am so sorry for the slowness of my response. I can not imagine ANYTHING worse than losing your child. I just can’t. To me, it is the worst possible thing that can ever happen to a person. The age of the child doesn’t matter. Only the loss does. I am so sorry for you. All I can do is offer a prayer for you. I have no doubt that the loss is driving you to the verge of insanity. I will think of you on January 12th, and pray for you. May GOD bless you and keep you safe in His care until you have recovered your strength enough to stand on your own once again. And, I will pray for your other twin, too. For s/he must be suffering under the same burden as you. I hope that you two are able to find solace in each other. Take care and GOD bless, Gay Marie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Joan Dawson wrote: > On 29 August 98 my son was brutally beaten and drowned. He was a twin and a > lovely gentle man, he was 30. The murder committal proceedings take place > on 12 January, after many false starts. I am having major problems coming > to terms with the fact that he is no more. Almost to the point of insanity, > because he was such a popular, well loved and accomplished person. How can > we effect a change on society and establish real, honest, and genuine > values to all our lives.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -robert n gibeault wrote: > Joan Dawson wrote: >> On 29 August 98 my son was brutally beaten and drowned. He was a >> twin and a >> lovely gentle man, he was 30. The murder committal proceedings take >> place >> on 12 January, after many false starts. I am having major problems >> coming >> to terms with the fact that he is no more. Almost to the point of >> insanity, >> because he was such a popular, well loved and accomplished person. >> How can >> we effect a change on society and establish real, honest, and >> genuine >> values to all our lives. > This was posted yesterday at 3.24 pm. I have counted one persons > reply to this heartbreaking cry to this for help (two hours after it > was issued). At 10.29am today a post began that triggered over 35 > responses, most of which has nothing to do with support for PTSD or > trauma. This has been more like the ‘Jerry Springer’ Show……..Alt. > support. trash-talk………the level of self-absorption, whining, and > back biting here is mind-bending. > When I read the above post yesterday, my fingers were as frozen, > as my mind. It took two hours for me to compose the first sentence. I > finally finished my reply to Joan an hour ago. I decided not to post > it here because of all the bullshit. It’s too bad. I wanted to. > Somebody might have found value in it. > Capt. bob (feeling desolate)
Bob, Of all the posts today, yours was the single, solitary voice of reason. That includes my own posts (two). I, too, could not immediately post a response to Joan. I can imagine NOTHING worse than the loss of my child(ren). Nothing, and I stress nothing, comes even remotely close to that unimaginable horror. It is THE worst thing that could happen to a person, in my opinion. So, to say the least, I was unable to respond right away. I needed a little time and distance. Nonetheless, you are correct. By comparison, the NG may have lost something today (although it has been slowly building to a climax which I doubt we have arrived at yet). I can speak only of my own opinion. I think we have not prioritized very well. Animosity born out of anger and unhealed wounds have taken precedence over compassion, acceptence, support and plain old-fashioned human decency. The group is being gradually split. And, split it will, if we allow it to. Who knows, it may actually be for the best. We have sunk to a low point that I only hope will be the bottom and we’ll all have no choice but to go up from here (or split). The split will not neccessarily be the fault of any one person(s) or "side." I think it will reflect on the group as a whole. There is unity and strength in numbers for many circumstances. But, we have so many walking wounded, struggling to survive each day (myself included). We can barely keep ourselves together individually, how can we be expected to keep ourselves togther as a group? We’re all in the same boat. And, we’ve got our oars in the water. But, we’re all rowing our oars in different directions. I feel two goals of a group like this could be compassion and acceptence. What wonders we could work with a little of that! I’ve never watched "Jerry Springer" except in snippets when I’m in a patients room. It IS trashy, that’s why I don’t watch it. If what has happened here today is anything like that show, count me out. I have enough turmoil in my life. Somedays I’m hanging on by my bloody fingernails. But that’s the key: I’m hanging in there. My abuser might have stolen something from me that he had absolutely no right to steal. My life was undeniably changed by what he did to me. But, what he can not take away from me is how I choose to live my life on a daily basis. I am responsible for my actions. And, I know, that recovery is mine. I just have to keep working away at it, one day, hour, minute at a time. My abuser may have stolen something precious to me. But, I will NOT allow him to steal recovery from me. And, I have learned that my recovery is actually far more precious to me than what I lost so many, many years ago. I thank GOD for getting me where I am. I could not have done it alone. I’ll pray for the NG, that’s the best I can do right now. Thanx, Bob, for being the voice of reason and helping me to reprioritize and put things in their proper perspective. As always, take what you want and leave the rest. Take care and GOD bless, Gay Marie
Response:
Joan, the loss of a child is alwasy devestating – and to lose onein such a brutal manner – inconsolably so. All I can offer you is this: Remember him andthe beauty he brought inot the World and to all who knew him. Grieve, scream, yell, curse. The pain wll be there always. but so will his love, kindenss and gentleness of spirit. Make the Remembrance of his Beauty the thing. and to quote a "Twilight Zone episode: "As long as he is remembered, he is not dead." well, actually it’s a paraphrase. Bless and my prayers are with you. On 6 Jan 1999 20:24:01 GMT, "Joan Dawson" <daw…@timewarp.co.uk> sat upright rubbed their eyes and declared: $On 29 August 98 my son was brutally beaten and drowned. He was a twin and a $lovely gentle man, he was 30. The murder committal proceedings take place $on 12 January, after many false starts. I am having major problems coming $to terms with the fact that he is no more. Almost to the point of insanity, $because he was such a popular, well loved and accomplished person. How can $we effect a change on society and establish real, honest, and genuine $values to all our lives. $ $ DayaLi day…@bigfoot.com An Open and Critical Mind – THE antidote to Dogma Poisoning =============================================================== Pursuant to US Code, Title 47, Chapter 5, Subchapter II,
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