Question:
Hi, Since even I can’t read my last post all the way through I thought I’d try again. Basically I spent friday and Saturday with some really crazymaking people that part of me wanted to rescue and parted of me wanted to run as fast as could away from. I did get out of their company but some of their stuff is still at my place. I don’t got any way to contact them and don’t know what to do with their stuff. Then Sunday in an unrelated incedent my purse and backpack got stolen, everything irreplaceable was found, even stuff that would only be a hassle to replace. But I went home feeling shakey. Then Monday, (which was yesterday I woke up feeling very weird. Visual effects were strange. Seeing things out of the corner of my eye that weren’t there and seeing things in a wierd standout kinda thing that can make simple objects seem somehow alive and threatening. And I’m going…uh-oh…ptsd dissociation what have you. And then I start to feel/hear and be different. Protector self and angry at dissociation self and scared little kid and me stuck in numb observer mode again. Later I’m trying to deal with this. Trying to figure it out. And we’re looking for names. And Synthesis occurs to us as the group name. And it seems that individual names feel "wrong" cause when we thought about that we could see these fracture lines and individual names would force them apart and that would hurt our core again. We frightened her/us thinking about it so we stopped. Alot of the fog has cleared, but I’m not certain what my/our status is. Before when I was "multiple" it was like we had sperate bodies, even though we knew or mostly knew we had one physical body. This is almost like stained glass slides layered together and shuffling postions. As usual there’s the whole, is this real, is this some kinda spiritual thing, or I am making all this up. Being histronic. Or something. Sigh. I’m doing better. I think we’re doing better. but I don’t know what to do with this. Anybody else been through this kinda stuff? (probably a silly question) Looking for feedback and trying to be more linear, Mirror of the group now tentatively known as Synthesis.
Response:
maybe this was a temporary response to pretty severe stress under really confusing conditions? maybe it is a pointer to the need to do some more work on how to keep yourself(s) safe? pink bunnies / ~ ) All conditions are temporary //| ( `o’_* – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi, Since even I can’t read my last post all the way through I thought I’d try again. Basically I spent friday and Saturday with some really crazymaking people that part of me wanted to rescue and parted of me wanted to run as fast as could away from. I did get out of their company but some of their stuff is still at my place. I don’t got any way to contact them and don’t know what to do with their stuff. Then Sunday in an unrelated incedent my purse and backpack got stolen, everything irreplaceable was found, even stuff that would only be a hassle to replace. But I went home feeling shakey. Then Monday, (which was yesterday I woke up feeling very weird. Visual effects were strange. Seeing things out of the corner of my eye that weren’t there and seeing things in a wierd standout kinda thing that can make simple objects seem somehow alive and threatening. And I’m going…uh-oh…ptsd dissociation what have you. And then I start to feel/hear and be different. Protector self and angry at dissociation self and scared little kid and me stuck in numb observer mode again. Later I’m trying to deal with this. Trying to figure it out. And we’re looking for names. And Synthesis occurs to us as the group name. And it seems that individual names feel "wrong" cause when we thought about that we could see these fracture lines and individual names would force them apart and that would hurt our core again. We frightened her/us thinking about it so we stopped. Alot of the fog has cleared, but I’m not certain what my/our status is. Before when I was "multiple" it was like we had sperate bodies, even though we knew or mostly knew we had one physical body. This is almost like stained glass slides layered together and shuffling postions. As usual there’s the whole, is this real, is this some kinda spiritual thing, or I am making all this up. Being histronic. Or something. Sigh. I’m doing better. I think we’re doing better. but I don’t know what to do with this. Anybody else been through this kinda stuff? (probably a silly question) Looking for feedback and trying to be more linear, Mirror of the group now tentatively known as Synthesis.
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