Question:
I’m not upset it took so long to diagnose because i only have myself to blame for it. Being completely open with your doctors is a good thing but I could never bring myself to do it until recently. Mary Mary, doctors have to attempt to elicit a history of any manic symptoms in any patint with depression. Otherwise the manic/hypomanic symptoms often remain unknown to the doctor because the patient may not remember them, or think they are important enough to mention. How many hours did you sleep per night when you were hypomanic? (hoping you don’t mind my asking!) Chip
Response:
Well Chip, it would depend. On my hyper days I would be up until 2 a.m. and then get up at 7 a.m. On the days where all I wanted was sleep, I would sleep from 10 p.m. until 7 a.m. then go back to bed after the kids left for school at 8 and sleep until 11 or noon. Then I’d usually take an afternoon nap. i would go from not enough sleep to way too much sleep. Right now I’m getting a nice normal 8 hours a night, with no desire to nap. Even as a kid I was an insomniac. I’d toss and turn all night and then get up at 6. I cut caffeine out of my diet about 12 years ago. Because I couldn’t sleep. It didn’t help much. I’m assuming my extreme need for sleep was a part of the depression. The nights when I couldn’t sleep I got addcited to SimCity 2000. I loved feeling like god. Mary — "I want to walk and not run. I want to skip and not fall. I want to look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall." – Dixie Chicks
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I’m not upset it took so long to diagnose because i only have myself to blame for it. Being completely open with your doctors is a good thing but I could never bring myself to do it until recently. Mary Mary, doctors have to attempt to elicit a history of any manic symptoms in any patint with depression. Otherwise the manic/hypomanic symptoms often remain unknown to the doctor because the patient may not remember them, or think they are important enough to mention. How many hours did you sleep per night when you were hypomanic? (hoping you don’t mind my asking!) Chip
Response:
Diane, FTP has something to do with working on your webpage offline and then uploading the material to the server that is handling your page. I think. I don’t know. I still haven’t figured it out. By my boyfriend is coming to explain it to me tomorrow. Welcome to ASAP BTW. I haven’t been posting a lot lately, but I’m trying to make up for it now. I love the people here. I can always come here for good, knowlegable support, and a few laughs. Mary — "I want to walk and not run. I want to skip and not fall. I want to look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall." – Dixie Chicks
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Mary! Sorry to take so long answering your posts. I thought this was a good time to meet. I have agor., PAs, PTSD, OCD, etc. Great list, isn’t it! I sort of felt the way you did last summer. Talked to a 17 year old guy I worked with and noticed I was starting to drive a little too fast, had a few glasses of wine after work, turned the music up louder than usual. I know these aren’t BAD things, but things I hadn’t done in a long time. I think I was trying to be YOUNG again. Felt ashamed about it later on. He was a temp for the summer, BTW. I straightened out a little after he left. I’m rambling now, so I’ll go. I look forward to seeing your web page. Take care! Di PS – BTW, what’s FTP? Am I being too nosy? Chip, My manic periods are really odd. I will clean for hours and I hate cleaning.I’ll joke around with my boyfriend, something I never do, one time I picked him up. (He only weighs about 130 lbs). I also used to get on the interstate and drive really fast, like 80 to 85 mph, with Live in the tape deck really loud. I had very little regard for my safety or anyone else’s when I did that. I just wanted to go as fast as I could. I guess I was trying to run away. The car I have now would fall apart if I tried that today. I used to have a really powerful little Olds. Now I have a nice little respectable Plymouth Reliant (a K-car). I can barely hit 65 in it.
Response:
Hi Miriam, My little one is actually my little ones. I have an 8 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. They have noticed that mommy is in a better mood already. It feels good to hear them laugh and be able to laugh along with them. They have been my reason for living for a long time. If anything ever happens to me they would have to go live with their dad. He is nothing more than a waste of good space and oxygen in my opinion and doesn’t deserve them. We seperated before my daughter was even born, so I’ve been a single parent all along. It’s been tough but I wouldn’t trade a day of the last seven years for anything. Now I hope I can make the rest of their childhoods a much better life than what we’ve had until know. Through it all at least my kids knew I loved them and that’s what counts to me. Mary — "I want to walk and not run. I want to skip and not fall. I want to look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall." – Dixie Chicks
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear Mary, Nice to hear your visit went well. It always feels so good to hear of someone finding what works for them, not to mention the spillover effect for the little one you have. You go girl!!! Love, Miriam (((((((((Mary)))))))) I must say I feel better already. I’m not sure if the lithium is kicking in already or it’s a placebo effect but it is nice. And the klonopin, I love the klonopin. It does such a nice job of taking care of all the anxiety without making me dopey, which is why I hated taking the Xanax I had. I’m so happy. I actually feel better, more human.I still feel some off what I did, but ti’s muted now. The thoughts I had of suicide and SI are gone.The need for sleep isn’t nearly as bad. I can actually laugh at the stupid things in life. (Friday I broke 2 casserole dishes on the sidewalk in front of my house, all I could do was sit on the steps and laugh) I actually had fun with my kids today. It’s like I’ve been given a new chance at life. I hope this feeling persists. I love feeling alive again. Mary
Response:
Dear Mary, Nice to hear your visit went well. It always feels so good to hear of someone finding what works for them, not to mention the spillover effect for the little one you have. You go girl!!! Love, Miriam (((((((((Mary)))))))) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I must say I feel better already. I’m not sure if the lithium is kicking in already or it’s a placebo effect but it is nice. And the klonopin, I love the klonopin. It does such a nice job of taking care of all the anxiety without making me dopey, which is why I hated taking the Xanax I had. I’m so happy. I actually feel better, more human.I still feel some off what I did, but ti’s muted now. The thoughts I had of suicide and SI are gone.The need for sleep isn’t nearly as bad. I can actually laugh at the stupid things in life. (Friday I broke 2 casserole dishes on the sidewalk in front of my house, all I could do was sit on the steps and laugh) I actually had fun with my kids today. It’s like I’ve been given a new chance at life. I hope this feeling persists. I love feeling alive again. Mary
Response:
Thank you Margrove, I am happy to report I still feel human.Wonderful feeling. Everday when I get up and feel this way i am so much happier than I have been in years. I’m not upset it took so long to diagnose because i only have myself to blame for it. Being completely open with your doctors is a good thing but I could never bring myself to do it until recently. Mary — "I want to walk and not run. I want to skip and not fall. I want to look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall." – Dixie Chicks
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Chip, My manic periods are really odd. I will clean for hours and I hate cleaning.I’ll joke around with my boyfriend, something I never do, one time I picked him up. (He only weighs about 130 lbs). I also used to get on the interstate and drive really fast, like 80 to 85 mph, with Live in the tape deck really loud. I had very little regard for my safety or anyone else’s when I did that. I just wanted to go as fast as I could. I guess I was trying to run away. The car I have now would fall apart if I tried that today. I used to have a really powerful little Olds. Now I have a nice little respectable Plymouth Reliant (a K-car). I can barely hit 65 in it. I would also have days where I would eat constantly, to the point of making myself sick. As someone who has a really bad weight problem that was not good, but it was like I couldn’t stop myself. Does this help you any? I know you were just curious. I’m happy too to finally know what is wrong and be getting treated for it. Maybe now I can get on with my life in something like a normal fashion. I even began working on a webpage. I’ll let everyone know when it is ready. Right now I’m try to tackle FTP. Ewwwww. Mary — "I want to walk and not run. I want to skip and not fall. I want to look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall." – Dixie Chicks Between my therapist’s reports and my journal and talking to me his diagnosis was this – PD w/agoraphobia and Bipolar 2. He told me to continue with the Zoloft I was taking (150 mg per day) and added 900 mg of Eskalith CR (Lithium) and 1 mg of Klonopin to my daily pill pile. That was Wednesday. I must say I feel better already. I’m not sure if the lithium is kicking in already or it’s a placebo effect but it is nice. Hi Mary, There’s no substitute for a proper diagnosis. Glad you finally got one. If you’re Bipolar II it means you have had episodes of hypomania alternating with your depression. Can you describe the symptoms of one of your episodes of hypomania? You don’t have to. Just curious. I was on lithium once to augment my Zoloft for depression. I had to get a blood lithium level one week after I started. As I recollect the psych was shooting for a level between 0.5 and 1.0. He said occasionally people notice a lifting of their depression in a few days after the lithium is started. I didn’t. Take care and good luck on the new med regimen. Chip your symptoms are classic-sad no one caught it earlier-lithiums effects can be noticed within days but full benefit isn’t usally obtained for a few weeks and dose may have to be adjusted-the blood levels are really to determine the point of toxicity not the therapeutic levels as these vary from person to person. I have seen this old time drug stabilize the lives of many to be productive and symptom free so good luck with it. LM
Response:
Hi Mary! Sorry to take so long answering your posts. I thought this was a good time to meet. I have agor., PAs, PTSD, OCD, etc. Great list, isn’t it! I sort of felt the way you did last summer. Talked to a 17 year old guy I worked with and noticed I was starting to drive a little too fast, had a few glasses of wine after work, turned the music up louder than usual. I know these aren’t BAD things, but things I hadn’t done in a long time. I think I was trying to be YOUNG again. Felt ashamed about it later on. He was a temp for the summer, BTW. I straightened out a little after he left. I’m rambling now, so I’ll go. I look forward to seeing your web page. Take care! Di PS – BTW, what’s FTP? Am I being too nosy? – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Chip, My manic periods are really odd. I will clean for hours and I hate cleaning.I’ll joke around with my boyfriend, something I never do, one time I picked him up. (He only weighs about 130 lbs). I also used to get on the interstate and drive really fast, like 80 to 85 mph, with Live in the tape deck really loud. I had very little regard for my safety or anyone else’s when I did that. I just wanted to go as fast as I could. I guess I was trying to run away. The car I have now would fall apart if I tried that today. I used to have a really powerful little Olds. Now I have a nice little respectable Plymouth Reliant (a K-car). I can barely hit 65 in it.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Chip, My manic periods are really odd. I will clean for hours and I hate cleaning.I’ll joke around with my boyfriend, something I never do, one time I picked him up. (He only weighs about 130 lbs). I also used to get on the interstate and drive really fast, like 80 to 85 mph, with Live in the tape deck really loud. I had very little regard for my safety or anyone else’s when I did that. I just wanted to go as fast as I could. I guess I was trying to run away. The car I have now would fall apart if I tried that today. I used to have a really powerful little Olds. Now I have a nice little respectable Plymouth Reliant (a K-car). I can barely hit 65 in it. I would also have days where I would eat constantly, to the point of making myself sick. As someone who has a really bad weight problem that was not good, but it was like I couldn’t stop myself. Does this help you any? I know you were just curious. I’m happy too to finally know what is wrong and be getting treated for it. Maybe now I can get on with my life in something like a normal fashion. I even began working on a webpage. I’ll let everyone know when it is ready. Right now I’m try to tackle FTP. Ewwwww. Mary — "I want to walk and not run. I want to skip and not fall. I want to look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall." – Dixie Chicks Between my therapist’s reports and my journal and talking to me his diagnosis was this – PD w/agoraphobia and Bipolar 2. He told me to continue with the Zoloft I was taking (150 mg per day) and added 900 mg of Eskalith CR (Lithium) and 1 mg of Klonopin to my daily pill pile. That was Wednesday. I must say I feel better already. I’m not sure if the lithium is kicking in already or it’s a placebo effect but it is nice. Hi Mary, There’s no substitute for a proper diagnosis. Glad you finally got one. If you’re Bipolar II it means you have had episodes of hypomania alternating with your depression. Can you describe the symptoms of one of your episodes of hypomania? You don’t have to. Just curious. I was on lithium once to augment my Zoloft for depression. I had to get a blood lithium level one week after I started. As I recollect the psych was shooting for a level between 0.5 and 1.0. He said occasionally people notice a lifting of their depression in a few days after the lithium is started. I didn’t. Take care and good luck on the new med regimen. Chip
your symptoms are classic-sad no one caught it earlier-lithiums effects can be noticed within days but full benefit isn’t usally obtained for a few weeks and dose may have to be adjusted-the blood levels are really to determine the point of toxicity not the therapeutic levels as these vary from person to person. I have seen this old time drug stabilize the lives of many to be productive and symptom free so good luck with it. LM
Response:
Chip, My manic periods are really odd. I will clean for hours and I hate cleaning.I’ll joke around with my boyfriend, something I never do, one time I picked him up. (He only weighs about 130 lbs). I also used to get on the interstate and drive really fast, like 80 to 85 mph, with Live in the tape deck really loud. I had very little regard for my safety or anyone else’s when I did that. I just wanted to go as fast as I could. I guess I was trying to run away. The car I have now would fall apart if I tried that today. I used to have a really powerful little Olds. Now I have a nice little respectable Plymouth Reliant (a K-car). I can barely hit 65 in it. I would also have days where I would eat constantly, to the point of making myself sick. As someone who has a really bad weight problem that was not good, but it was like I couldn’t stop myself. Does this help you any? I know you were just curious. I’m happy too to finally know what is wrong and be getting treated for it. Maybe now I can get on with my life in something like a normal fashion. I even began working on a webpage. I’ll let everyone know when it is ready. Right now I’m try to tackle FTP. Ewwwww. Mary — "I want to walk and not run. I want to skip and not fall. I want to look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall." – Dixie Chicks
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Between my therapist’s reports and my journal and talking to me his diagnosis was this – PD w/agoraphobia and Bipolar 2. He told me to continue with the Zoloft I was taking (150 mg per day) and added 900 mg of Eskalith CR (Lithium) and 1 mg of Klonopin to my daily pill pile. That was Wednesday. I must say I feel better already. I’m not sure if the lithium is kicking in already or it’s a placebo effect but it is nice. Hi Mary, There’s no substitute for a proper diagnosis. Glad you finally got one. If you’re Bipolar II it means you have had episodes of hypomania alternating with your depression. Can you describe the symptoms of one of your episodes of hypomania? You don’t have to. Just curious. I was on lithium once to augment my Zoloft for depression. I had to get a blood lithium level one week after I started. As I recollect the psych was shooting for a level between 0.5 and 1.0. He said occasionally people notice a lifting of their depression in a few days after the lithium is started. I didn’t. Take care and good luck on the new med regimen. Chip
Response:
Thank you Jackie, I am happy to be back on track too. I wish dealing with my weight problem was as easy but it will happen when it is meant to happen. I even managed to play in the dirt and pot some flowers this weekend. I love doing that but I hadn’t felt like it for a long time. I used to joke with my friends about being an earth mother….lots of flowers and little kids.That was my life for a long time. Now I can get back to it. I plan on spending some good quality time with my kids while I feel this way. No telling how long it will last, but I hope it’s a long time. Mary — "I want to walk and not run. I want to skip and not fall. I want to look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall." – Dixie Chicks
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I finally got to see the pdoc at the mental health clinic. I’ve only been trying since December. I got lucky. I took a copy of my journal to my gp. He didn’t like what he read, not one bit. He talked to my therapist and between the two of them managed to get my appoinment with the pdoc moved up to this week from April 14. So I talked with the pdoc for an hour on Wednesday. Between my therapist’s reports and my journal and talking to me his diagnosis was this – PD w/agoraphobia and Bipolar 2. He told me to continue with the Zoloft I was taking (150 mg per day) and added 900 mg of Eskalith CR (Lithium) and 1 mg of Klonopin to my daily pill pile. That was Wednesday. I must say I feel better already. I’m not sure if the lithium is kicking in already or it’s a placebo effect but it is nice. And the klonopin, I love the klonopin. It does such a nice job of taking care of all the anxiety without making me dopey, which is why I hated taking the Xanax I had. I’m so happy. I actually feel better, more human.I still feel some off what I did, but ti’s muted now. The thoughts I had of suicide and SI are gone.The need for sleep isn’t nearly as bad. I can actually laugh at the stupid things in life. (Friday I broke 2 casserole dishes on the sidewalk in front of my house, all I could do was sit on the steps and laugh) I actually had fun with my kids today. It’s like I’ve been given a new chance at life. I hope this feeling persists. I love feeling alive again. Mary Dear Mary, I am so incredibly happy for you!!!!!! Your post made my day( really night<G). I know how hard you have been struggling and you never gave up. You give hope to the people who really feel stuck right now. It is a wonderful feeling when a med starts to kick in and you are feeling better. I was on paxil for about 2 or 3 weeks, and this one night I was watching TV and started laughing again, I I wish you much luck and happiness 
((((((Mary)))))) Jackie "once i knew only darkness and stillness…my life was without past or future…but a little word from the fingers of another fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness, and my heart leaped to the rapture of living." ~~hellen keller~~
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I finally got to see the pdoc at the mental health clinic. I’ve only been trying since December. I got lucky. I took a copy of my journal to my gp. He didn’t like what he read, not one bit. He talked to my therapist and between the two of them managed to get my appoinment with the pdoc moved up to this week from April 14. So I talked with the pdoc for an hour on Wednesday. Between my therapist’s reports and my journal and talking to me his diagnosis was this – PD w/agoraphobia and Bipolar 2. He told me to continue with the Zoloft I was taking (150 mg per day) and added 900 mg of Eskalith CR (Lithium) and 1 mg of Klonopin to my daily pill pile. That was Wednesday. I must say I feel better already. I’m not sure if the lithium is kicking in already or it’s a placebo effect but it is nice. And the klonopin, I love the klonopin. It does such a nice job of taking care of all the anxiety without making me dopey, which is why I hated taking the Xanax I had. I’m so happy. I actually feel better, more human.I still feel some off what I did, but ti’s muted now. The thoughts I had of suicide and SI are gone.The need for sleep isn’t nearly as bad. I can actually laugh at the stupid things in life. (Friday I broke 2 casserole dishes on the sidewalk in front of my house, all I could do was sit on the steps and laugh) I actually had fun with my kids today. It’s like I’ve been given a new chance at life. I hope this feeling persists. I love feeling alive again. Mary
Dear Mary, I am so incredibly happy for you!!!!!! Your post made my day( really night<G). I know how hard you have been struggling and you never gave up. You give hope to the people who really feel stuck right now. It is a wonderful feeling when a med starts to kick in and you are feeling better. I was on paxil for about 2 or 3 weeks, and this one night I was watching TV and started laughing again, I I wish you much luck and happiness ((((((Mary)))))) Jackie "once i knew only darkness and stillness…my life was without past or future…but a little word from the fingers of another fell into my hand that clutched at emptiness, and my heart leaped to the rapture of living." ~~hellen keller~~
Response:
Hi all, I finally got to see the pdoc at the mental health clinic. I’ve only been trying since December. I got lucky. I took a copy of my journal to my gp. He didn’t like what he read, not one bit. He talked to my therapist and between the two of them managed to get my appoinment with the pdoc moved up to this week from April 14. So I talked with the pdoc for an hour on Wednesday. Between my therapist’s reports and my journal and talking to me his diagnosis was this – PD w/agoraphobia and Bipolar 2. He told me to continue with the Zoloft I was taking (150 mg per day) and added 900 mg of Eskalith CR (Lithium) and 1 mg of Klonopin to my daily pill pile. That was Wednesday. I must say I feel better already. I’m not sure if the lithium is kicking in already or it’s a placebo effect but it is nice. And the klonopin, I love the klonopin. It does such a nice job of taking care of all the anxiety without making me dopey, which is why I hated taking the Xanax I had. I’m so happy. I actually feel better, more human.I still feel some off what I did, but ti’s muted now. The thoughts I had of suicide and SI are gone.The need for sleep isn’t nearly as bad. I can actually laugh at the stupid things in life. (Friday I broke 2 casserole dishes on the sidewalk in front of my house, all I could do was sit on the steps and laugh) I actually had fun with my kids today. It’s like I’ve been given a new chance at life. I hope this feeling persists. I love feeling alive again. Mary — "I want to walk and not run. I want to skip and not fall. I want to look at the horizon and not see a building standing tall." – Dixie Chicks
Response:
Between my therapist’s reports and my journal and talking to me his diagnosis was this – PD w/agoraphobia and Bipolar 2. He told me to continue with the Zoloft I was taking (150 mg per day) and added 900 mg of Eskalith CR (Lithium) and 1 mg of Klonopin to my daily pill pile. That was Wednesday. I must say I feel better already. I’m not sure if the lithium is kicking in already or it’s a placebo effect but it is nice. Hi Mary, There’s no substitute for a proper diagnosis. Glad you finally got one. If you’re Bipolar II it means you have had episodes of hypomania alternating with your depression. Can you describe the symptoms of one of your episodes of hypomania? You don’t have to. Just curious. I was on lithium once to augment my Zoloft for depression. I had to get a blood lithium level one week after I started. As I recollect the psych was shooting for a level between 0.5 and 1.0. He said occasionally people notice a lifting of their depression in a few days after the lithium is started. I didn’t. Take care and good luck on the new med regimen. Chip
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