Question:
I used to think that I must have been unruly to have caused my assailants to be mean to me. I don’t know why we think these things, but we do.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Jim, And welcome to the group. My name is Jeannie and I am also a survivor and I am currently in the process of healing with my therapist. I was sexually abused as a young child by grandpa and then ganged raped at 14 by 3 men and raped by knifepoint at the age of 25. So I do understand the feelings you described. I thought for all those yrs. it musta been me who was so bad to have had that much abuse–now I know it has nothing to do with me, but the sickos who abused me had the problem. My gpa is dead and the other guys, well I dont know if an apology would so me any good at this point in my healing or not. To be honest I haven’t gotten angry at them yet. I know on an intellectual level that its not my fault, but it hasn’t moved to my heart yet. Seems to be the longest distance on my body. Thanks for your post.
Response:
Welcome Jim. Pleased to meet you. I also admire GhostWolf. I have found his posts to be helpful and thought provoking. Ruth — Today, is the tomorrow, you worried about yesterday. Anonymous
| Greetings, my name is Jim. I am a new member, and I hope that I will | contribute to this group in a way that will help at least one person. That | will be my goal. Just one person. | | In the summer of 1963, I attended a day camp at a Boys Club in Boston. I was | eleven years old. One afternoon, two individuals coralled myself and some | other boys into a room alongside the gym and terrorized us. Before it was | over, I had been raped, nearly thrown out a window, and been made to beg for | my life. Other things probably happened as well, but I haven’t gotten that | far along yet. | | As a result of this very sadistic assault, I became a haunted man. Feelings | of humiliation, fear, and self-abomination repeated within me every day of | my life afterwards – without my ever knowing what the hell was going on! | | Eventually, I learned to find my way in the dark, and I’ve made it back. I’m | telling my story now, and I’m telling it for two reasons. I’m trying to find | the other boys who were in the room to see what happened to them, and I’m | trying to get out the word that it is indeed possible to find your way back. | | I would like to participate in this group as a contributing member. | Hopefully, I will be as good a contributor as GhostWolf, whom I admire very | much. | | If you would like to learn more about me, what happened to me, and how I | found my way back, please visit www.PublicAppeal.org. If you do, please post | your comments in the forum. Thanks. | | | "Thoughts that come on dove’s feet guide the world." | | |
Response:
Facing one’s demons is definitely the deep end, and there must be a rhythm in the process. You call it "going slowly;" I call it "having a rhythm." You look a little, then retreat. When you come back, you’re hungry for more, and you go a little further. There’s a rhythm to it. I always respect the ladies because they’re special.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Jim; I’m sad to hear that. My situation was not that different. Our goal as a group, is the same. We all want that one person to be you. If you can do that you will in turn be helping everyone here. That may sound strange, but it’s true. It’s about you. You can be greatly helped here, or you can really struggle. I can tell you what has helped me, go slow be thoughtful and get ready to meet some of the coolest ppl online. Yeah everybody loves Ghostwolf, and gosh you set your sights very high eh. On last thing, and if i said it twice it’s for a reason, go slow. I have watched a dozen ppl myself included, get overwhelmed, this is the deep end. But there are a few steady ships. Only…yeah they go slow. I normally don’t do this but hey i’m just a big sweetheart when i’m not busy being a jerk. If i have not scared you off and you are smart, i think you are all set. And will do well, and get as much as you can from aar. See you around, spike ps i have always approached this as i’m only a guest, and only here because the females allow it. A male survivor needs female survivors, to help him heal. That is my one point, i wish to drive home to the new guys. Respect the ladies and you will heal much faster. Trust me on this one jim. Greetings, my name is Jim. I am a new member, and I hope that I will contribute to this group in a way that will help at least one person. That will be my goal. Just one person. In the summer of 1963, I attended a day camp at a Boys Club in Boston. I was eleven years old. One afternoon, two individuals coralled myself and some other boys into a room alongside the gym and terrorized us. Before it was over, I had been raped, nearly thrown out a window, and been made to beg for my life. Other things probably happened as well, but I haven’t gotten that far along yet. As a result of this very sadistic assault, I became a haunted man. Feelings of humiliation, fear, and self-abomination repeated within me every day of my life afterwards – without my ever knowing what the hell was going on! Eventually, I learned to find my way in the dark, and I’ve made it back. I’m telling my story now, and I’m telling it for two reasons. I’m trying to find the other boys who were in the room to see what happened to them, and I’m trying to get out the word that it is indeed possible to find your way back. I would like to participate in this group as a contributing member. Hopefully, I will be as good a contributor as GhostWolf, whom I admire very much. If you would like to learn more about me, what happened to me, and how I found my way back, please visit www.PublicAppeal.org. If you do, please post your comments in the forum. Thanks. "Thoughts that come on dove’s feet guide the world."
Response:
Hi, Jim 8*) Greetings, my name is Jim. I am a new member, and I hope that I will contribute to this group in a way that will help at least one person. That will be my goal. Just one person.
Soft smile… I think that is well underway… In the summer of 1963, I attended a day camp at a Boys Club in Boston. I was eleven years old. One afternoon, two individuals coralled myself and some other boys into a room alongside the gym and terrorized us. Before it was over, I had been raped, nearly thrown out a window, and been made to beg for my life. Other things probably happened as well, but I haven’t gotten that far along yet.
I’ve learned not to push real hard at the expense of taking time out; i.e. "stopping to smell the roses" – hope you’re taking time here and there to relax, step back, enjoy something… it helps 8*) As a result of this very sadistic assault, I became a haunted man. Feelings of humiliation, fear, and self-abomination repeated within me every day of my life afterwards – without my ever knowing what the hell was going on!
Heh… welcome to "survivorship" (wry grin) – you aren’t alone in those feelings at all, fwiw… Eventually, I learned to find my way in the dark, and I’ve made it back. I’m telling my story now, and I’m telling it for two reasons. I’m trying to find the other boys who were in the room to see what happened to them, and I’m trying to get out the word that it is indeed possible to find your way back.
I’ve been to your site, and hope that the others do come forward; even if anonymously – I’m pretty sure that there are ways the "system" can protect their identity while at the same time utilizing their disclosures; just not sure how that works or is done – and I suspect it varies from state to state at that 8*P I would like to participate in this group as a contributing member. Hopefully, I will be as good a contributor as GhostWolf, whom I admire very much.
Um, errr… blush! I’m just one of many participants, Jim; one of many who are working recovery; nothing more than that – I make plenty of mistakes, and have posted things that I wish I had never said… Heh – that goes to the rest of you who commented on this too! but at the same time, thanks, folks! (wry blushing grin) 8*P Heh… re participating? My basic rule of thumb, fwiw, and one that I all too often fail to achieve is: Simply share my *own* experiences, *own* feelings; knowing that what works for me very likely will NOT work for someone else; and to the best I can to refrain from reactive posting, name calling, and acrimonious labeling… Wry grin – not a standard I achieve very well, imo; but one that I can continue working at and working on 8*) Many here hold themselves to similar criteria, fwiw… If you would like to learn more about me, what happened to me, and how I found my way back, please visit www.PublicAppeal.org. If you do, please post your comments in the forum. Thanks.
Done Deal 8*) Welcome to AAR, Jim… Senior Technical Writer Oracle Consumer Applications Group – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – Words that soak into your soul are whispered, not yelled
wdavidso.vcf
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Response:
Hello Jim; You describe it like fighting a war in vietnam, it’s kinda true. Yeah a rhythm is cool and natural. I respect ladies cause if i don’t they kick my ass. So yeah i agree they are special. Keep up that healing spirit, spike – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Facing one’s demons is definitely the deep end, and there must be a rhythm in the process. You call it "going slowly;" I call it "having a rhythm." You look a little, then retreat. When you come back, you’re hungry for more, and you go a little further. There’s a rhythm to it. I always respect the ladies because they’re special. Hi Jim; I’m sad to hear that. My situation was not that different. Our goal as a group, is the same. We all want that one person to be you. If you can do that you will in turn be helping everyone here. That may sound strange, but it’s true. It’s about you. You can be greatly helped here, or you can really struggle. I can tell you what has helped me, go slow be thoughtful and get ready to meet some of the coolest ppl online. Yeah everybody loves Ghostwolf, and gosh you set your sights very high eh. On last thing, and if i said it twice it’s for a reason, go slow. I have watched a dozen ppl myself included, get overwhelmed, this is the deep end. But there are a few steady ships. Only…yeah they go slow. I normally don’t do this but hey i’m just a big sweetheart when i’m not busy being a jerk. If i have not scared you off and you are smart, i think you are all set. And will do well, and get as much as you can from aar. See you around, spike ps i have always approached this as i’m only a guest, and only here because the females allow it. A male survivor needs female survivors, to help him heal. That is my one point, i wish to drive home to the new guys. Respect the ladies and you will heal much faster. Trust me on this one jim. Greetings, my name is Jim. I am a new member, and I hope that I will contribute to this group in a way that will help at least one person. That will be my goal. Just one person. In the summer of 1963, I attended a day camp at a Boys Club in Boston. I was eleven years old. One afternoon, two individuals coralled myself and some other boys into a room alongside the gym and terrorized us. Before it was over, I had been raped, nearly thrown out a window, and been made to beg for my life. Other things probably happened as well, but I haven’t gotten that far along yet. As a result of this very sadistic assault, I became a haunted man. Feelings of humiliation, fear, and self-abomination repeated within me every day of my life afterwards – without my ever knowing what the hell was going on! Eventually, I learned to find my way in the dark, and I’ve made it back. I’m telling my story now, and I’m telling it for two reasons. I’m trying to find the other boys who were in the room to see what happened to them, and I’m trying to get out the word that it is indeed possible to find your way back. I would like to participate in this group as a contributing member. Hopefully, I will be as good a contributor as GhostWolf, whom I admire very much. If you would like to learn more about me, what happened to me, and how I found my way back, please visit www.PublicAppeal.org. If you do, please post your comments in the forum. Thanks. "Thoughts that come on dove’s feet guide the world."
Response:
*wink*
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Jim; I’m sad to hear that. My situation was not that different. I am sad to hear it for both of you, and anyone else here, just glad we have each other. Our goal as a group, is the same. We all want that one person to be you. If you can do that you will in turn be helping everyone here. That may sound strange, but it’s true. It’s about you. You can be greatly helped here, or you can really struggle. Amen!! when I read Jim’s words this is exactly what I was thinking…guess that means *I* am in good company for thinking as spike…(doesnt say much for him, tho, poor guy! *wink*) ps i have always approached this as i’m only a guest, and only here because the females allow it. A male survivor needs female survivors, to
help him heal. That is my one point, i wish to drive home to the new guys. Respect the ladies and you will heal much faster. Trust me on this one jim. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You, know, brother, I am nuts about you, but I gotta disagree here. *I* dont think of anyone here as a guest. You are either a survivor (yourself or by proxy if someone you love is a survivor) or a troll. Men’s abuse is already looked upon as sort of second class abuse. Not real, didnt happen, or it doesnt matter as much cause guys are supposed to be tough.. my take on this is *bullshit*… abuse is abuse, no matter your gender. I appreciate what you are saying about respecting the ladies, but you deserve just as much respect simply for being a human being. Dont know if any of you ever saw g.i. jane…. at one point she is arguing against the idea that women dont belong in combat….. i am not expressing any opinion on this, and please dont take it as an invitation, but she asked these questions: "is a woman’s life more valuable than a man’s?" Is a woman’s death more hurtful than a man’s? she was incredulous over the idea that it is ok for one gender to risk death but not another. i agree. we are ALL human beings, and being so we deserve respect equally from the base point. how we conduct ourselves as human beings is where respect points increase or decrease in my book. I think, dear spike, you are top of sorry to ramble or scold, i just needed to tell you that i feel you are valuable, regardless of your gender……angie — If you can judge a wise man by the color of his skin, then mister you’re a better man than I. Livin’ on the Edge Aerosmith To reply please replace "no spam" with "flash".
Response:
Thank you, and I agree.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Greetings, my name is Jim. I am a new member, and I hope that I will contribute to this group in a way that will help at least one person. That will be my goal. Just one person. In the summer of 1963, I attended a day camp at a Boys Club in Boston. I was eleven years old. One afternoon, two individuals coralled myself and some other boys into a room alongside the gym and terrorized us. Before it was over, I had been raped, nearly thrown out a window, and been made to beg for my life. Other things probably happened as well, but I haven’t gotten that far along yet. As a result of this very sadistic assault, I became a haunted man. Feelings of humiliation, fear, and self-abomination repeated within me every day of my life afterwards – without my ever knowing what the hell was going on! Eventually, I learned to find my way in the dark, and I’ve made it back. I’m telling my story now, and I’m telling it for two reasons. I’m trying to find the other boys who were in the room to see what happened to them, and I’m trying to get out the word that it is indeed possible to find your way back. I would like to participate in this group as a contributing member. Hopefully, I will be as good a contributor as GhostWolf, whom I admire very much. If you would like to learn more about me, what happened to me, and how I found my way back, please visit www.PublicAppeal.org. If you do, please post your comments in the forum. Thanks. "Thoughts that come on dove’s feet guide the world." Welcome to the group Jim <S Ah!!! You do well to admire Ghostwolf. He’s one very wonderful guy! Best, Panther
Response:
Thanks for the support, guy; it feels good. As for science, I have no faith in it. I gave it twenty years and it helped a little, but in the end , I did it myself. You’re probably right about the process being different for everybody – insofar as we all have demons that are unique unto ourselves.
lots of progress seems to be made in the applied psy
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