Question:
Hi… I’m Sundie, new to this group, and hope this message finds you well. I am relieved to find people unafraid to talk about depression. That word was even hard to type. Tho I’ve been on Zoloft for two years with varying degrees of success, there’s still a part of me that’s deeply ashamed of this affliction. I still largely suspect that I’m just doing something very cosmically wrong to feel so sluggish all the time. It is really a challenge to find some self-worth if I’m not being super productive and have no tangible "proof" of my okness. I feel I must try harder to reverse this seeminglydownward spiral by being busier. Yet I deeply resent others Does anyone who has experienced this conflict and resolved it, feel like sharing a little wisdom? 
Response:
It is really a challenge to find some self-worth if I’m not being super productive and have no tangible "proof" of my okness. I feel I must try harder to reverse this seemingly downward spiral by being busier. Yet I deeply resent others in my life who want me to believe
Will your tombstone read: "He worked long hours at the office"? :-) People will appreciate it and love it if you role model joie-de-vivre. Think of films where the protagonist transforms the lives of others with his appreciation of being alive. You don’t see characters transforming anyone with an "I’ve got to get busy" outlook. I personally don’t like to work. I wish I didn’t have to work *at all*. So maybe I’m in the opposite extreme. But I’m certainly pleased if other people will work really hard to take up my slack. Anyway, I can understand resenting people who want you to keep busy working. That’s miserabilism rather than joie-de-vivre. Karen take care, Karen Karen Ronan
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi… I’m Sundie, new to this group, and hope this message finds you well. I am relieved to find people unafraid to talk about depression. That word was even hard to type. Tho I’ve been on Zoloft for two years with varying degrees of success, there’s still a part of me that’s deeply ashamed of this affliction. I still largely suspect that I’m just doing something very cosmically wrong to feel so sluggish all the time. It is really a challenge to find some self-worth if I’m not being super productive and have no tangible "proof" of my okness. I feel I must try harder to reverse this seeminglydownward spiral by being busier. Yet I deeply resent others Does anyone who has experienced this conflict and resolved it, feel like sharing a little wisdom?
I, also, still feel ashamed of this disorder. I have a combination of PTSD and clinical depression, and have been on meds for 3 1/2 years. The worst part, for me, came in the form of getting my heart broken for the second time in my life about a year after I got on meds and two years after getting clean and sober…since it happened, I still think about the guy all the time even though I haven’t seen him in over a year. It’s really, really hard for me to want to be around people most of the time…I find myself identifying really strongly with that dialog about hating people from the movie "Barfly". I don’t trust much and it’s very slow when I do. One thing I have learned is that I have to go with the sluggishness when it happens. It isn’t fightable…but conversely, when I am feeling more energetic, which I have been lately, I make plans to improve my life and surroundings in small ways and then get busy carrying them out. Thank GOD for my computer, or I’d have been in severe trouble!!! I wish I could tell you that it all gets GREAT one day, but I have yet to see that day…as I told my audience last Friday night/Saturday morning, my life feels like it’s signposted by moments of pure magic strung together with long periods of darkness. My support and empathy are with you. -Candice
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