Question:
ROFLMAO!!!! Seriously, Larry, you should Copyright that material (if you haven’t already). It’s hysterical!
I’ve released it to the public domain. Print it out and hang it up on the bulletin board at the yacht club….. Thanks for your comment….(c; Larry PS – Have the neighbors said anything about why you’re driving the dock cart down to the 7-11 every day, yet? They will….(c;
Response:
ROFLMAO!!!! Seriously, Larry, you should Copyright that material (if you haven’t already). It’s hysterical!
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – You need – THE LIVEABOARD SIMULATOR! Just for fun, park your cars in the lot of the convenience store at least 2 blocks from your house. (Make believe the sidewalk is a floating dock between your car and the house. Move yourself and your family (If applicable) into 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. Measure the DECK space INSIDE your boat. Make sure the occupied house has no more space, or closet space, or drawer space. Bring a coleman stove into the bathroom and set it next to the bathroom sink. Your boat’s sink is smaller, but we’ll let you use the bathroom sink, anyways. Do all your cooking in the bathroom, WITHOUT using the bathroom power vent. If you have a boat vent, it’ll be a useless 12v one that doesn’t draw near the air your bathroom power vent draws to take away cooking odors. Leave the hall door open to simulate the open hatch. Take all the screens off your 2 bedroom’s windows. Leave the windows open to let in the bugs that will invade your boat at dusk, and the flies attracted to the cooking. Borrow a couple of 55 gallon drums mounted on a trailer. Flush your toilets into the drums. Trailer the drums to the convenience store to dump them when they get full. Turn off your sewer, you won’t have one. Unless your boat is large enough to have a big "head" with full bath, make believe your showers/bathtubs don’t work. Make a deal with someone next door to the convenience store to use THEIR bathroom for bathing at the OTHER end of the DOCK. (Marina rest room) If you use this rest room to potty, while you’re there, make believe it has no paper towels or toilet paper. Bring your own. Bring your own soap and anything else you’d like to use there, too. Run you whole house through a 20 amp breaker to simulate available dock power at the marina. If you’re thinking of anchoring out, turn off the main breaker and "make do" with a boat battery and flashlights. Don’t forget you have to heat your house on this 20A supply and try to keep the water from freezing. Turn off the water main valve in front of your house. Run a hose from your neighbor’s lawn spigot over to your lawn spigot and get all your water from there. Try to keep the hose from freezing all winter. As your boat won’t have a laundry, disconnect yours. Go to a boat supply place, like West Marine, and buy you a dock cart. Haul ALL your supplies, laundry, garbage, etc. between the car at the convenience store and house in this cart. Once a week, haul your outboard motor to the car, leave it a day then haul it back to the house, in the cart, to simulate "boat problems" that require "boat parts" to be removed/replaced on your "dock". If ANYTHING ever comes out of that cart between the convenience store and the house, put it in your garage and forget about it. (Simulates losing it over the side of the dock, where it sank in 23′ of water and was dragged off by the current.) Each morning, about 5AM, have someone you don’t know run a weedeater back and forth under your bedroom windows to simulate the fishermen leaving the marina to go fishing. Have him slam trunk lids, doors, blow car horns and bang some heavy pans together from 4AM to 5AM before lighting off the weedeater. (Simulates loading aluminum boats with booze and fishing gear and gas cans.) Once a week, have him bang the running weedeater into your bedroom wall to simulate the idiot who drove his boat into the one you’re sleeping in because he was half asleep leaving the dock. Put a rope over a big hook in the ceiling over your bed. Hook one end of the rope to the bed siderail and the other end out where he can pull on it. As soon as he shuts off the weedeater, have him pull hard 9 times on the rope to tilt your bed at least 30 degrees. (Simulates the wakes of the fishermen blasting off trying to beat each other to the fishing.) Anytime there is a storm in your area, have someone constantly pull on the rope. It’s rough riding storms in the marina! If your boat is a sailboat, install a big wire from the top of the tallest tree to your electrical ground in the house to simulate mast lightning strikes in the marina. Each time you "go out", or think of going boating away from your marina, disconnect the neighbor’s water hose, your electric wires, all the umbilicals your new boat will use to make life more bearable in the marina. Use bottled drinking water for 2 days for everything. Get one of those 5 gallon jugs with the airpump on top from a bottled water company. This is your boat’s "at sea" water system simulator. You’ll learn to conserve water this way. Of course, not having the marina’s AC power supply, you’ll be lighting and all from a car battery, your only source of power. If you own or can borrow a generator, feel free to leave it running to provide AC power up to the limit of the generator. If you’re thinking about a 30′ sailboat, you won’t have room for a generator so don’t use it. Boats don’t have room for "beds", as such. Fold your Sealy Posturepedic up against a wall, it won’t fit on a boat. Go to a hobby fabric store and buy a foam pad 5′ 10" long and 4′ wide AND NO MORE THAN 3" THICK. Cut it into a triangle so the little end is only 12" wide. This simulates the foam pad in the V-berth up in the pointy bow of the sailboat. Bring in the kitchen table from the kitchen you’re not allowed to use. Put the pad UNDER the table, on the floor, so you can simulate the 3′ of headroom over the pad. Block off both long sides of the pad, and the pointy end so you have to climb aboard the V-berth from the wide end where your pillows will be. The hull blocks off the sides of a V-berth and you have to climb up over the end of it through a narrow opening (hatch to main cabin) on a boat. You’ll climb over your mate’s head to go to the potty in the night. No fun for either party. Test her mettle and resolve by getting up this way right after you go to bed at night. There are lots of things to do on a boat and you’ll forget at least one of them, thinking about it laying in bed, like "Did I remember to tie off the dingy better?" or "Is that spring line (at the dock) or anchor line (anchored out) as tight as it should be?" Boaters who don’t worry about things like this laying in bed are soon aground or on fire or the laughing stock of an anchorage…. You need to find out how much climbing over her she will tolerate BEFORE you’re stuck with a big boat and big marina bills and she refuses to sleep aboard it any more….. Any extra family members must be sleeping on the settees in the main cabin or in the quarter berth under the cockpit….unless you intend to get a boat over 40-something feet with an aft cabin. Smaller boats have quarter berths. Cut a pad out of the same pad material that is no more than 2′ wide by 6′ long. Get a cardboard box from an appliance store that a SMALL refridgerator came in. Put the pad in the box, cut to fit, and make sure only one end of the box is open. The box can be no more than 2 feet above the pad. Quarter berths are really tight. Make them sleep in there, with little or no air circulation. That’s what sleeping in a quarterberth is all about. Of course, to simulate sleeping anchored out for the weekend, no heat or air conditioning will be used and all windows will be open without screens so the bugs can get in. In the mornings, everybody gets up and goes out on the patio to enjoy the sunrise. Then, one person at a time goes back inside to dress, shave, clean themselves in the tiny cabin unless you’re a family of nudists who don’t mind looking at each other in the buff. You can’t get dressed in the stinky little head with the door closed on a sailboat. Hell, there’s barely room to bend over so you can sit on the commode. So, everyone will dress in the main cabin….one at a time. Boat tables are 2′ x 4′ and mounted next to the settee. There’s no room for chairs in a boat. So, eat off a 2X4′ space on that kitchen table you slept under while sitting on a couch (settee simulator). You can also go out with breakfast and sit on the patio (cockpit), if you like. Ok, breakfast is over. Crank up the lawnmower under the window for 2 hours. It’s time to recharge the batteries from last night’s usage and to freeze the coldplate in the boat’s icebox which runs off a compressor on the engine. Get everybody to clean up your little hovel. Don’t forget to make the beds from ONE END ONLY. You can’t get to the other 3 sides of a boat bed pad. All hands go outside and washdown the first fiberglass UPS truck that passes by. That’s about how big the deck is on your 35′ sailboat that needs to have the ocean cleaned off it daily or it’ll turn the white fiberglass all brown like the UPS truck. Now, doesn’t the UPS truck look nice like your main deck? Ok, we’re going to need some food, do the laundry, buy some boat parts that failed because the manufacturer’s bean counters got cheap and used plastics and the wife wants to "eat out, I’m fed up with cooking on the Coleman stove" today. Let’s make believe we’re not at home, but in some exotic port like Ft Lauderdale, today….on our cruise to Key West……Before "going ashore", plan on buying all the food you’ll want to eat that will: A – Fit into the Coleman Cooler on the floor B – You can cook on the Coleman stove without an oven or all those fancy kitchen tools you don’t have on the boat C – And will last you for 10 days, in case
… read more »
Response:
I read Larry’s "Liveaboard Simulator" post and nearly fell out of my chair laughing. For us "poor folk", the conditions described in his simulator are so true much of the time. To me, living in a marina on any kind of boat is not the ideal situation. Some people love it and thrive on the drinking and partying which if that’s your game, there’s plenty of it.
Thank you for the great comment. I’m not the only one green with envy at your lifestyle. You are very fortunate, indeed…(c; Well, gotta go. I got the midwatch on the lawnmower on the patio….. Larry
Response:
Ouch, that was my 1st choice to stay!!!
Response:
Thanks, I thought Id laugh till my sides split!!
Response:
Maybe I should clearify. I’m on a waiting list at the Navy Marina and since I’m retired navy, I have a low priority. They only allow about 20 liveaboards in the whole marina of about 500 slips and moorings. But you might be able to get into the Chula Vista Marina. They usually have slips available for transit cruisers. In general, So. Calif. Port Authorities are "down" on liveaboards and since they control all the leases on the marinas they call the shots. The marina managment doesn’t really go out of their way to encourage or accomodate liveaboards. They make more money on transit or short term rentals. Like I always say: "Call yourself a Cruiser instead of Liveaboard". You would be surprised at how much better people will treat you. — My opinion and experience. FWIW Steve S/V Good Intentions
Response:
Thanks, I thought Id laugh till my sides split!!
Hey! What are you doin’ in here lookin’ at the computer for? You’re supposed to be out on the patio drivin’ the lawnmower around "on watch"! We’re required to maintain a sharp lookout, you know! I think the neighbor’s garage is on a collision course with our "boat"! Larry….AND NO FALLIN’ ASLEEP ON THE MOWER, EITHER, LIKE LAST NIGHT!!
Response:
BTW: What’s up with this 4:20 stuff? That mean the same on the East coast as it does on the West Coast?
World Wide. http://hometown.aol.com/hlaviation/
Response:
rgr
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – BTW: What’s up with this 4:20 stuff? That mean the same on the East coast as it does on the West Coast? World Wide. http://hometown.aol.com/hlaviation/
Response:
I am looking to leave the land lubber life and take up living on a boat full time. Can anyone offer suggestions too size, amenities, etc. for a boat to accomodate me? Also of great interest is any draw backs. Boat can be power or sail. I am single and live alone though I may have a pet (dog) for a first mate. Thanks for any suggetions. Doug
I read Larry’s "Liveaboard Simulator" post and nearly fell out of my chair laughing. For us "poor folk", the conditions described in his simulator are so true much of the time. To me, living in a marina on any kind of boat is not the ideal situation. Some people love it and thrive on the drinking and partying which if that’s your game, there’s plenty of it. As for sizes, types of boats, etc., yes, we could all make a suggestion but the bottom line is it’s your money and you’ll need to do your own research which means spending time on possibly many different boats. There are literally hundreds of types and subtypes of vessels and you’ll have to do a lot of crawling through hatches to find what you don’t and do like. There are literally dozens of ways to configure an identical hull and it’s all based on what the owner prefers and his priorities. Sail boats will theoretically give you more range for less fuel (unless your running generators and engines 24hrs) and give you a redundant source of propulsion (sail and motor) versus a motor vessel which obviously depends 100% on it’s motors for propulsion and thus substantially more fuel costs will always be a constant factor. Take your time and look at LOTS of boats on both the east and west coasts (at least 100 or more) as there are sometimes very unique differences in the ways east vs west-coast boats are built and equipped. If you buy something before you’ve done all this, you’ll find that you will regret it. Then again, if you never look at another boat (like never look at another woman) you might be as happy as a pig in mud. Living aboard has the inevitable marina stays, but I view these times as temporary as a "pit stop" where I make repairs, do major maintenance and prepare the vessel for our next voyage. Once underway, it can be hot, sweaty and stressful, while most of the time it is pleasant, beautiful and serene. Soon enough you’ll arrive at your destination and here is where the best part of living aboard manifests itself; there is nothing to compare to dropping anchor into the crystal clear waters in a quiet, isolated cove off some un-named island in the Virgin Islands and watch the sunset. In the morning you awake refreshed, eager to live the day, jump off deck into the marvelous waters and swim until your a prune. You then climb back aboard to prepare and eat the best breakfast you can remember. The rest of the day is all yours to do as you wish. No "weedeaters", no wakes from racing fishermen, no sirens or car horns, no telemarketers, no terrorists. It’s about as close to paradise as it gets, in my opinion. Of course, most people can’t stay anchored forever unless you have a boat that requires absolutely no maintenance (haven’t heard of such an animal yet) and have your essentials (cooking fuel, special beverages, TP, etc) delivered to you. Sooner or later most of us will have to head back to a marina to repair, replenish and get enough of the BS that makes you want to sail off in the first place. Living in a "tub" for us non-millionaires is akin to living in a typical RV Motorhome that you see in your local RV park. Not a whole lot of room and not a lot of privacy so your either really close or get that way on a passage. I’ve lived through some pretty miserable conditions, with the worst almost always while tied up in a marina slip, but I wouldn’t trade this lifestyle for any "box" except for possibly a gorgeous little grass hut on some remote south pacific island somewhere. Now, if you have 7 figures or more of cash lying around, you could theoretically build yourself a vessel made entirely of titanium and large enough to take everything with you that you could ever want. It could have all the systems of all different kinds for your comfort and enjoyment. For the majority of us, however, living aboard is an exercise in learning to do without all that. An extended camping trip, if you will, only where you never have to unpack. When on my yacht at sea, I feel as free as I can be from all of humanities’ concoctions including but not limited to rotten governments. Of course, the closer to land I get, the closer I get to the potential slavedriver’s grip and I’m always ready to "come about". So far no "slavedriver" has tried to shackle me to land and I really like the fact that I’m tied up in a "slip", where I can do just this if need be. So, if you enjoy spacious accommodations, constant climate controlled environments, deeply cushioned bedding, smell-free heads, motionless sleep, the wail of sirens, the screech of tires, the stench of…well I could go on, then by all means, stay there living in your motionless box. Living on any yacht that I could afford means doing without all that, but living free. As free as you can be on the deck of a boat at sea, which is as much a psychological freedom as it is physical. This is the essence of Living Aboard – Living Free. An old man once told me that it isn’t a tragedy to die while doing something you love. This sums up my take on living on my voyaging vessel. Fellow mariners, feel free to add on the many things I’ve left out. Calm Seas to you all. BTW, I live on a Custom FRP Bruce Roberts Offshore 44 Ketch with my wife and 2 daughters and I don’t plan on ever going back to being a landlubber. I’ll miss my wife if she decides to "box" it… she’ll be a tall order to replace with all the nautical knowledge she has, but there are more mermaids where she came from. 
Response:
Anyone got any more "liveaboard simulator" ideas he can use?? Larry…Gotta go dump the holding tanks, back in a bit. Excellent ! — Wally – reply to: elvez<!mindspring<!com
I never tell ‘em what to do with those two 55 gallons full of you-know-what after they run the simulator. Thanks for the comment…(c; Larry
Response:
Well, big deal. I install and fix ships computer systems. And, I know how to maintain a head so you don’t have to fix it. Dunno of any wooden schooners heraboouts, but there are likely boats which require watching by a liveaboard tender. I’ve taken on recommissioning projects (the MV Spirit misadventure aka "Junk for Jesus") that would astound the fully sentient. And, should the missus fall prey to some misfortune, my children being mostly of majority age, I intend to become one of those liveaboard rats who draw social security and mooch off government funds — after all, I understand I could qualify for PTSD benefits just beacuse of my owrk history — and make unsolicited and ascerbic remarks to passers-by. Ah, the innocent merriment! R BTW: What’s up with this 4:20 stuff? That mean the same on the East coast as it does on the West Coast? <snip
SHHHHHH!!! Now you gone and given away the Secret to Sailing for Nothing…..(c; Great post….excellent advise. It’ll also test his family to see if they can stand being widowed by the boat bug. After he gets "established" as a great guy who’s
always-welcome-aboard-when-the-head-isn’t-pumping-and-is-willing-to-fix-it, – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – he can get someone to let him take his wife/girlfriend/partner along to see if they can stand it, too. She can help with the tools to fix the head!….(c; It’ll test both their mettles. Ok, I admit it. I’m one of these "crew leaches", myself. I got lots of good references to stand behind, too! I FIX and INSTALL ELECTRONICS!….(c;) Larry I am looking to leave the land lubber life and take up living on a boat full time. Can anyone offer suggestions too size, amenities, etc. for a boat to accomodate me? Also of great interest is any draw backs. Boat can be power or sail. I am single and live alone though I may have a pet (dog) for a first mate. Thanks for any suggetions. Doug My advice? Go down to the marinas in the area you want to live, and find the big wood boats, (big wood schooners have an affinity for drawing us schooner rats, if you get on one of these your life will be altered and you’ll make friends that you see over and over on different boats all over the world we’re a small crowd) real big. Offer to stay aboard and keep an eye on the boat and keep the bilges pumped etc… for a berth on the boat(also mention that they may get a healty cut on their insurance for someone being onboard). Lots of people jump at this(If you can varnish well you can write your own ticket on which boat you want to stay on, just tell them you’ll do so much varnishing per week also) and I have used it many times as a transient through coastal areas. Some good references as to your honesty and integrity are invaluable to you so get some written ones and make copies. I have a whole stack of em from people I’ve "Boat Sat" for. If you have some mechanical, electrical or woodworking experience, this is also helpfull. Do this for a year, hell, do it for the rest of your life if you like it, but at least a year. This will give you some time to make friends in the marine community, go out with people on various boats, get on and off a lot of different boats (if you’re somewhat industrious and have time, you start your own boat care business waxing topsides, scrubbing bottoms, changing zincs, airing out boats…) and you’ll start to see the good things and the bad, what you like and what you don’t. Start seeing the problems and realities of different types styles and sizes of boats and then you can figure out what you want, and you’ll know about all the "deals" that arent advertized. I once bought a wood 53′ Garden ketch sans engine, everything else complete, just needing refinishing with 10 bags of near new condition sails for $2300 in back slip fees. The dog may or may not be a problem, depends on the boat owner. You’ll meet a lot of good people, (and a bunch of drunk crackheads too) learn alot about boats, and you won’t be spending your own money to do it. I did it backwards, I started by buying a Catalina 27 and teaching myself to sail (dirtass, chipanzee, barnyard animal simple sailing is, it’s a completely natural flow once you understand you can’t go wrong and it only takes a few minutes to get a feel for by the end of a 30 minute sea trial I was single handing the boat around in the harbor, seamanship on the otherhand is an entirely different subject taking years and many miles to get sorted out and continues developing for the rest of your life) and ended up on a long dock behind an old schooner named Ranger(origionally Built for C.F.Brown of Coca Cola for his childrens "daysailer"), I moved aboard her, sold my boat to a friend for him to live on (for what I paid for it even) and haven’t looked back since. It’s not always an easy life, actually it’s usually a bit of a bitch and when things get bad, you can’t just run and hide, you gotta get out there and take care of things, but it does have some great rewards as well. Most all the people (even the drunk crackheads) are good people and will always lend a hand to each other to keep things going, Safety meetings at 4:20 are a common occurance as are 1/2 barrel, project movies on the sails dock parties. Trick is too find a good marina. http://hometown.aol.com/hlaviation/
Response:
SHHHHHH!!! Now you gone and given away the Secret to Sailing for Nothing…..(c; Great post….excellent advise. It’ll also test his family to see if they can stand being widowed by the boat bug. After he gets "established" as a great guy who’s always-welcome-aboard-when-the-head-isn’t-pumping-and-is-willing-to-fix-it, he can get someone to let him take his wife/girlfriend/partner along to see if they can stand it, too. She can help with the tools to fix the head!….(c; It’ll test both their mettles. Ok, I admit it. I’m one of these "crew leaches", myself. I got lots of good references to stand behind, too! I FIX and INSTALL ELECTRONICS!….(c;) Larry – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I am looking to leave the land lubber life and take up living on a boat full time. Can anyone offer suggestions too size, amenities, etc. for a boat to accomodate me? Also of great interest is any draw backs. Boat can be power or sail. I am single and live alone though I may have a pet (dog) for a first mate. Thanks for any suggetions. Doug My advice? Go down to the marinas in the area you want to live, and find the big wood boats, (big wood schooners have an affinity for drawing us schooner rats, if you get on one of these your life will be altered and you’ll make friends that you see over and over on different boats all over the world we’re a small crowd) real big. Offer to stay aboard and keep an eye on the boat and keep the bilges pumped etc… for a berth on the boat(also mention that they may get a healty cut on their insurance for someone being onboard). Lots of people jump at this(If you can varnish well you can write your own ticket on which boat you want to stay on, just tell them you’ll do so much varnishing per week also) and I have used it many times as a transient through coastal areas. Some good references as to your honesty and integrity are invaluable to you so get some written ones and make copies. I have a whole stack of em from people I’ve "Boat Sat" for. If you have some mechanical, electrical or woodworking experience, this is also helpfull. Do this for a year, hell, do it for the rest of your life if you like it, but at least a year. This will give you some time to make friends in the marine community, go out with people on various boats, get on and off a lot of different boats (if you’re somewhat industrious and have time, you start your own boat care business waxing topsides, scrubbing bottoms, changing zincs, airing out boats…) and you’ll start to see the good things and the bad, what you like and what you don’t. Start seeing the problems and realities of different types styles and sizes of boats and then you can figure out what you want, and you’ll know about all the "deals" that arent advertized. I once bought a wood 53′ Garden ketch sans engine, everything else complete, just needing refinishing with 10 bags of near new condition sails for $2300 in back slip fees. The dog may or may not be a problem, depends on the boat owner. You’ll meet a lot of good people, (and a bunch of drunk crackheads too) learn alot about boats, and you won’t be spending your own money to do it. I did it backwards, I started by buying a Catalina 27 and teaching myself to sail (dirtass, chipanzee, barnyard animal simple sailing is, it’s a completely natural flow once you understand you can’t go wrong and it only takes a few minutes to get a feel for by the end of a 30 minute sea trial I was single handing the boat around in the harbor, seamanship on the otherhand is an entirely different subject taking years and many miles to get sorted out and continues developing for the rest of your life) and ended up on a long dock behind an old schooner named Ranger(origionally Built for C.F.Brown of Coca Cola for his childrens "daysailer"), I moved aboard her, sold my boat to a friend for him to live on (for what I paid for it even) and haven’t looked back since. It’s not always an easy life, actually it’s usually a bit of a bitch and when things get bad, you can’t just run and hide, you gotta get out there and take care of things, but it does have some great rewards as well. Most all the people (even the drunk crackheads) are good people and will always lend a hand to each other to keep things going, Safety meetings at 4:20 are a common occurance as are 1/2 barrel, project movies on the sails dock parties. Trick is too find a good marina. http://hometown.aol.com/hlaviation/
Response:
You need – THE LIVEABOARD SIMULATOR! Just for fun, park your cars in the lot of the convenience store at least 2 blocks from your house. (Make believe the sidewalk is a floating dock between your car and the house. Move yourself and your family (If applicable) into 2 bedrooms and 1 bathroom. Measure the DECK space INSIDE your boat. Make sure the occupied house has no more space, or closet space, or drawer space. Bring a coleman stove into the bathroom and set it next to the bathroom sink. Your boat’s sink is smaller, but we’ll let you use the bathroom sink, anyways. Do all your cooking in the bathroom, WITHOUT using the bathroom power vent. If you have a boat vent, it’ll be a useless 12v one that doesn’t draw near the air your bathroom power vent draws to take away cooking odors. Leave the hall door open to simulate the open hatch. Take all the screens off your 2 bedroom’s windows. Leave the windows open to let in the bugs that will invade your boat at dusk, and the flies attracted to the cooking. Borrow a couple of 55 gallon drums mounted on a trailer. Flush your toilets into the drums. Trailer the drums to the convenience store to dump them when they get full. Turn off your sewer, you won’t have one. Unless your boat is large enough to have a big "head" with full bath, make believe your showers/bathtubs don’t work. Make a deal with someone next door to the convenience store to use THEIR bathroom for bathing at the OTHER end of the DOCK. (Marina rest room) If you use this rest room to potty, while you’re there, make believe it has no paper towels or toilet paper. Bring your own. Bring your own soap and anything else you’d like to use there, too. Run you whole house through a 20 amp breaker to simulate available dock power at the marina. If you’re thinking of anchoring out, turn off the main breaker and "make do" with a boat battery and flashlights. Don’t forget you have to heat your house on this 20A supply and try to keep the water from freezing. Turn off the water main valve in front of your house. Run a hose from your neighbor’s lawn spigot over to your lawn spigot and get all your water from there. Try to keep the hose from freezing all winter. As your boat won’t have a laundry, disconnect yours. Go to a boat supply place, like West Marine, and buy you a dock cart. Haul ALL your supplies, laundry, garbage, etc. between the car at the convenience store and house in this cart. Once a week, haul your outboard motor to the car, leave it a day then haul it back to the house, in the cart, to simulate "boat problems" that require "boat parts" to be removed/replaced on your "dock". If ANYTHING ever comes out of that cart between the convenience store and the house, put it in your garage and forget about it. (Simulates losing it over the side of the dock, where it sank in 23′ of water and was dragged off by the current.) Each morning, about 5AM, have someone you don’t know run a weedeater back and forth under your bedroom windows to simulate the fishermen leaving the marina to go fishing. Have him slam trunk lids, doors, blow car horns and bang some heavy pans together from 4AM to 5AM before lighting off the weedeater. (Simulates loading aluminum boats with booze and fishing gear and gas cans.) Once a week, have him bang the running weedeater into your bedroom wall to simulate the idiot who drove his boat into the one you’re sleeping in because he was half asleep leaving the dock. Put a rope over a big hook in the ceiling over your bed. Hook one end of the rope to the bed siderail and the other end out where he can pull on it. As soon as he shuts off the weedeater, have him pull hard 9 times on the rope to tilt your bed at least 30 degrees. (Simulates the wakes of the fishermen blasting off trying to beat each other to the fishing.) Anytime there is a storm in your area, have someone constantly pull on the rope. It’s rough riding storms in the marina! If your boat is a sailboat, install a big wire from the top of the tallest tree to your electrical ground in the house to simulate mast lightning strikes in the marina. Each time you "go out", or think of going boating away from your marina, disconnect the neighbor’s water hose, your electric wires, all the umbilicals your new boat will use to make life more bearable in the marina. Use bottled drinking water for 2 days for everything. Get one of those 5 gallon jugs with the airpump on top from a bottled water company. This is your boat’s "at sea" water system simulator. You’ll learn to conserve water this way. Of course, not having the marina’s AC power supply, you’ll be lighting and all from a car battery, your only source of power. If you own or can borrow a generator, feel free to leave it running to provide AC power up to the limit of the generator. If you’re thinking about a 30′ sailboat, you won’t have room for a generator so don’t use it. Boats don’t have room for "beds", as such. Fold your Sealy Posturepedic up against a wall, it won’t fit on a boat. Go to a hobby fabric store and buy a foam pad 5′ 10" long and 4′ wide AND NO MORE THAN 3" THICK. Cut it into a triangle so the little end is only 12" wide. This simulates the foam pad in the V-berth up in the pointy bow of the sailboat. Bring in the kitchen table from the kitchen you’re not allowed to use. Put the pad UNDER the table, on the floor, so you can simulate the 3′ of headroom over the pad. Block off both long sides of the pad, and the pointy end so you have to climb aboard the V-berth from the wide end where your pillows will be. The hull blocks off the sides of a V-berth and you have to climb up over the end of it through a narrow opening (hatch to main cabin) on a boat. You’ll climb over your mate’s head to go to the potty in the night. No fun for either party. Test her mettle and resolve by getting up this way right after you go to bed at night. There are lots of things to do on a boat and you’ll forget at least one of them, thinking about it laying in bed, like "Did I remember to tie off the dingy better?" or "Is that spring line (at the dock) or anchor line (anchored out) as tight as it should be?" Boaters who don’t worry about things like this laying in bed are soon aground or on fire or the laughing stock of an anchorage…. You need to find out how much climbing over her she will tolerate BEFORE you’re stuck with a big boat and big marina bills and she refuses to sleep aboard it any more….. Any extra family members must be sleeping on the settees in the main cabin or in the quarter berth under the cockpit….unless you intend to get a boat over 40-something feet with an aft cabin. Smaller boats have quarter berths. Cut a pad out of the same pad material that is no more than 2′ wide by 6′ long. Get a cardboard box from an appliance store that a SMALL refridgerator came in. Put the pad in the box, cut to fit, and make sure only one end of the box is open. The box can be no more than 2 feet above the pad. Quarter berths are really tight. Make them sleep in there, with little or no air circulation. That’s what sleeping in a quarterberth is all about. Of course, to simulate sleeping anchored out for the weekend, no heat or air conditioning will be used and all windows will be open without screens so the bugs can get in. In the mornings, everybody gets up and goes out on the patio to enjoy the sunrise. Then, one person at a time goes back inside to dress, shave, clean themselves in the tiny cabin unless you’re a family of nudists who don’t mind looking at each other in the buff. You can’t get dressed in the stinky little head with the door closed on a sailboat. Hell, there’s barely room to bend over so you can sit on the commode. So, everyone will dress in the main cabin….one at a time. Boat tables are 2′ x 4′ and mounted next to the settee. There’s no room for chairs in a boat. So, eat off a 2X4′ space on that kitchen table you slept under while sitting on a couch (settee simulator). You can also go out with breakfast and sit on the patio (cockpit), if you like. Ok, breakfast is over. Crank up the lawnmower under the window for 2 hours. It’s time to recharge the batteries from last night’s usage and to freeze the coldplate in the boat’s icebox which runs off a compressor on the engine. Get everybody to clean up your little hovel. Don’t forget to make the beds from ONE END ONLY. You can’t get to the other 3 sides of a boat bed pad. All hands go outside and washdown the first fiberglass UPS truck that passes by. That’s about how big the deck is on your 35′ sailboat that needs to have the ocean cleaned off it daily or it’ll turn the white fiberglass all brown like the UPS truck. Now, doesn’t the UPS truck look nice like your main deck? Ok, we’re going to need some food, do the laundry, buy some boat parts that failed because the manufacturer’s bean counters got cheap and used plastics and the wife wants to "eat out, I’m fed up with cooking on the Coleman stove" today. Let’s make believe we’re not at home, but in some exotic port like Ft Lauderdale, today….on our cruise to Key West……Before "going ashore", plan on buying all the food you’ll want to eat that will: A – Fit into the Coleman Cooler on the floor B – You can cook on the Coleman stove without an oven or all those fancy kitchen tools you don’t have on the boat C – And will last you for 10 days, in case the wind drops and it takes more time than we planned at sea. Plan meals carefully in a boat. We can’t buy more than we can STORE, either! Of course, we came here by BOAT, so we don’t have a car. Some nice marinas have a shuttle bus, but they’re not a taxi. The shuttle bus will only go to West Marine or the tourist traps, so we’ll be either taking the city bus, if there is one or taxi cabs or shopping at the marina store which has almost nothing to buy at enormous prices. Walk to the 7-11 store, where … read more »
Response:
I am looking to leave the land lubber life and take up living on a boat full time. Can anyone offer suggestions too size, amenities, etc. for a boat to accomodate me? Also of great interest is any draw backs. Boat can be power or sail. I am single and live alone though I may have a pet (dog) for a first mate. Thanks for any suggetions. Doug
Response:
The Live-aboard life is great, for the right person. You have to be doing it because you love it and not just because you just want to save money or apply your rent towards your dream boat. Love of the life style is the most important factor. Your most difficulty will be finding a marina that will let you live aboard (and second that will let you live aboard with a dog.) Many marinas have a severe restrictions on how long a tenant can stay aboard his boat and those who do let you live aboard have long waiting lists. Depends on the region of the country you are in. (I have been on a waiting list in San Diego CA. for about 10 years.) Also, the marinas are now charging additional live aboard fees, typically about $75/mo plus they now have meters on the electric. Some charge for extra vehicles, etc. — My opinion and experience. FWIW Steve S/V Good Intentions
Response:
I am looking to leave the land lubber life and take up living on a boat full time. Can anyone offer suggestions too size, amenities, etc. for a boat to accomodate me? Also of great interest is any draw backs. Boat can be power or sail. I am single and live alone though I may have a pet (dog) for a first mate. Thanks for any suggetions. Doug
My advice? Go down to the marinas in the area you want to live, and find the big wood boats, (big wood schooners have an affinity for drawing us schooner rats, if you get on one of these your life will be altered and you’ll make friends that you see over and over on different boats all over the world we’re a small crowd) real big. Offer to stay aboard and keep an eye on the boat and keep the bilges pumped etc… for a berth on the boat(also mention that they may get a healty cut on their insurance for someone being onboard). Lots of people jump at this(If you can varnish well you can write your own ticket on which boat you want to stay on, just tell them you’ll do so much varnishing per week also) and I have used it many times as a transient through coastal areas. Some good references as to your honesty and integrity are invaluable to you so get some written ones and make copies. I have a whole stack of em from people I’ve "Boat Sat" for. If you have some mechanical, electrical or woodworking experience, this is also helpfull. Do this for a year, hell, do it for the rest of your life if you like it, but at least a year. This will give you some time to make friends in the marine community, go out with people on various boats, get on and off a lot of different boats (if you’re somewhat industrious and have time, you start your own boat care business waxing topsides, scrubbing bottoms, changing zincs, airing out boats…) and you’ll start to see the good things and the bad, what you like and what you don’t. Start seeing the problems and realities of different types styles and sizes of boats and then you can figure out what you want, and you’ll know about all the "deals" that arent advertized. I once bought a wood 53′ Garden ketch sans engine, everything else complete, just needing refinishing with 10 bags of near new condition sails for $2300 in back slip fees. The dog may or may not be a problem, depends on the boat owner. You’ll meet a lot of good people, (and a bunch of drunk crackheads too) learn alot about boats, and you won’t be spending your own money to do it. I did it backwards, I started by buying a Catalina 27 and teaching myself to sail (dirtass, chipanzee, barnyard animal simple sailing is, it’s a completely natural flow once you understand you can’t go wrong and it only takes a few minutes to get a feel for by the end of a 30 minute sea trial I was single handing the boat around in the harbor, seamanship on the otherhand is an entirely different subject taking years and many miles to get sorted out and continues developing for the rest of your life) and ended up on a long dock behind an old schooner named Ranger(origionally Built for C.F.Brown of Coca Cola for his childrens "daysailer"), I moved aboard her, sold my boat to a friend for him to live on (for what I paid for it even) and haven’t looked back since. It’s not always an easy life, actually it’s usually a bit of a bitch and when things get bad, you can’t just run and hide, you gotta get out there and take care of things, but it does have some great rewards as well. Most all the people (even the drunk crackheads) are good people and will always lend a hand to each other to keep things going, Safety meetings at 4:20 are a common occurance as are 1/2 barrel, project movies on the sails dock parties. Trick is too find a good marina. http://hometown.aol.com/hlaviation/
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.