Question:
Hi Domino, it is very nice to see you and doing so well. this makes me happy. more below from mare. Hi everyone 
I am more together now than I have ever been. I. Me. Singular. Merged. Dare I say "integrated"? Why not? Integrated. No, the others have not been forgotten. We are working as one now though. There is no "we" in "I" although they are in me. Now they are seen only briefly and only by my therapist. For us, it is good that way.
This is how i feel now most of the time. kewl, huh? I feel more my age mostly with some deliberate dissing out if reality too tough. Life is good. Hell….life is great. I am working on major, major personal issues in therapy. Working on them…..not running away from them. That is the strength of Artemis countering the weakness of L. That is two opposites working together as one. Perhaps not seeing the light yet, but knowing it is there. Knowing I can reach it because I have the strength and the determination.
Wow, what a testament to courage and perseverance. I am truly thrilled to read about such gains. Good for you! I feel so strong. So strong. Able to take on the world. Able to speak my mind and not back down. L. no longer overwhelms me with her desire to hide and never be seen or heard.
I have been trying this too. I vowed honesty this year and have been doing that. It involves not backing away and also standing tall in the face of disagreements etc. Is this hard for you too? I am reaching out and grabbing life. And it is good. I miss my friends here at asd. I never thought I would be capable of missing anything. But like I said, things have changed. I don’t think I could have come this far without you. So I just wanted to say "hi" and "thank you".
You’re welcome. Thanks back at you 
peace, mare – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Take good care, Domino
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi everyone I’ll spoiler this only because I use a word that I refuse to splat any longer……. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 I’ve been gone for a while now and I don’t even know how many of you will remember me.
Of course I remember you!! (And especially Gollum 
)) I have thought of you often wondering where you may have wandered off to. But Cherish got me thinking about this place again, and here I am.
Glad to see you here. ) Welcome back Domino. Things have changed so much for me since I left here in November. Good changes. Big changes. I am more together now than I have ever been. I. Me. Singular. Merged. Dare I say "integrated"? Why not? Integrated. No, the others have not been forgotten. We are working as one now though. There is no "we" in "I" although they are in me. Now they are seen only briefly and only by my therapist. For us, it is good that way.
That’s sort of where I’m at. I’ve never really been fully dissociative, but more ddnos. Life is good. Hell….life is great. I am working on major, major personal issues in therapy. Working on them…..not running away from them.
Thats great to hear. I’m working on issues also lately. I have been using meditation and yoga to help me feel centered. I have been seeing how my ‘parts’ function in my system in dreams. I keep a dream journal, and although I feel a great deal of pain many times, I still benefit because I’m learning more about me. It’s nice to see a new ‘familiar’ face return. People have been coming and going like grand central station lately. I left the group myself for awhile. I have just recently been putting more energy back into posting again after a long retreat. Nice to see you again; and feeling so good at that. ) From the ashes, Phoenix — "Fear is the true enemy, the only enemy."
Response:
Hi everyone I’ll spoiler this only because I use a word that I refuse to splat any longer……. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 I’ve been gone for a while now and I don’t even know how many of you will remember me. But Cherish got me thinking about this place again, and here I am. Things have changed so much for me since I left here in November. Good changes. Big changes. I am more together now than I have ever been. I. Me. Singular. Merged. Dare I say "integrated"? Why not? Integrated. No, the others have not been forgotten. We are working as one now though. There is no "we" in "I" although they are in me. Now they are seen only briefly and only by my therapist. For us, it is good that way. Life is good. Hell….life is great. I am working on major, major personal issues in therapy. Working on them…..not running away from them. That is the strength of Artemis countering the weakness of L. That is two opposites working together as one. Perhaps not seeing the light yet, but knowing it is there. Knowing I can reach it because I have the strength and the determination. I feel so strong. So strong. Able to take on the world. Able to speak my mind and not back down. L. no longer overwhelms me with her desire to hide and never be seen or heard. I am reaching out and grabbing life. And it is good. I miss my friends here at asd. I never thought I would be capable of missing anything. But like I said, things have changed. I don’t think I could have come this far without you. So I just wanted to say "hi" and "thank you". Take good care, Domino
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Phoenix Hi everyone I’ll spoiler this only because I use a word that I refuse to splat any longer……. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 I’ve been gone for a while now and I don’t even know how many of you will remember me. Of course I remember you!! (And especially Gollum )) I have thought of you often wondering where you may have wandered off to. And I you! And Gollum (to whom Bug always wishes a special "hihi") and Chris and Terra and Shebbie and everyone else! I’ve seen you wander off before, too. I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other on our respective wanderings. But Cherish got me thinking about this place again, and here I am. Glad to see you here. ) Welcome back Domino. Thanks. What a nice feeling. Things have changed so much for me since I left here in November. Good changes. Big changes. I am more together now than I have ever been. I. Me. Singular. Merged. Dare I say "integrated"? Why not? Integrated. No, the others have not been forgotten. We are working as one now though. There is no "we" in "I" although they are in me. Now they are seen only briefly and only by my therapist. For us, it is good that way. That’s sort of where I’m at. I’ve never really been fully dissociative, but more ddnos. Yep. Our official diagnosis would be DDNOS and PTSD. For quite a while we were traveling further down the DDNOS scale heading towards the DID end. Each of us going our separate ways. Ironically, it has taken a car accident, sickness and death to bring us together. Life is good. Hell….life is great. I am working on major, major personal issues in therapy. Working on them…..not running away from them. Thats great to hear. I’m working on issues also lately. I have been using meditation and yoga to help me feel centered. I have been seeing how my ‘parts’ function in my system in dreams. I keep a dream journal, and although I feel a great deal of pain many times, I still benefit because I’m learning more about me. I’m glad to hear you are working on issues, too. Would you be willing to talk some more about the meditation that you do? Meditating is something I have wanted to do and am even attempting now but without any guidance, it is proving quite difficult. First my mind races and races and then I fall asleep. Not quite the results I was looking for but I sure can use the sleep! (I am really baffled by the exhaustion that still plagues me, especially since I have been eating better and been exercising regularly for 6 months now….)
i’ve been doing yoga and tai chi classes on weekends. a first i found the tai chi really incredibly agonizing, was so painful, had so much mental resistance to it, but as soon as i stopped resisting i found it incredibly wonderful. is about the same with meditation, i HATE sitting down to do it , it’s physically painful and sometimes i just pass out immediately, but when i get past that i go really deep into it quickly and i get so much from it. Your dream journal intrigues me. Just last week, my t and I were talking about me keeping one. It is not yet safe for me to write down the bits and pieces of the dream I remember. They all center around the s*xual abuse we suffered and the thought of writing them down is not an okay thing yet. The prevailing feeling is that writing them down really makes it all too real. There is also concern that innocent eyes might find the journal and read about things that innocent minds should never have to have knowledge of……. Hearing that your journal is helping you to understand more about how your parts function–I like that. I think I’ll throw that thought inside and let everyone toss that idea around for a while. Maybe it is the "push" that they need to see how a dream journal might benefit us.
i’m trying to keep a dream journal as well, they try to teach me through dreams It’s nice to see a new ‘familiar’ face return. People have been coming and going like grand central station lately. Yes, I see lots of unfamiliar names. I miss the people whose names I haven’t seen yet. Perhaps they will return one day. I left the group myself for awhile. I have just recently been putting more energy back into posting again after a long retreat. Breaks are a necessary part of healing, I think. I am glad you are back.
breaks are a necessary part of healing? i like that Nice to see you again; and feeling so good at that. ) Thanks! I’m so happy that you are doing well too!
yah, i’m always thrilled to see happy posts here Take good care, Domino From the ashes, Phoenix — "Fear is the true enemy, the only enemy."
Response:
Hi Domino, it is very nice to see you and doing so well. this makes me happy. more below from mare.
Hi mare, some snipping below…. That is two opposites working together as one. Perhaps not seeing the light yet, but knowing it is there. Knowing I can reach it because I have the strength and the determination. Wow, what a testament to courage and perseverance. I am truly thrilled to read about such gains. Good for you!
Thanks! It feels good. I feel so strong. So strong. Able to take on the world. Able to speak my mind and not back down. L. no longer overwhelms me with her desire to hide and never be seen or heard. I have been trying this too. I vowed honesty this year and have been doing that. It involves not backing away and also standing tall in the face of disagreements etc. Is this hard for you too?
Yes, it can be very hard. Funny, it is easier to do it when I am standing up for someone else. This year I’ve had to speak to one of my sons’ teachers several times and even see the principal about her. This is something I’ve never had the courage to do before and I was sooo nervous (my t would agree on this one!). My words and thoughts came easily, though. They flowed. No raised voice, no panic, no blank mind. Almost as if I was a real adult . I’ve stood up for myself too and found that the flow is not as easy in these situations…..but it is coming. And it is wonderful. You’re welcome. Thanks back at you peace, mare
Thanks for writing, mare. Domino
Response:
Hi Phoenix – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi everyone I’ll spoiler this only because I use a word that I refuse to splat any longer……. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 I’ve been gone for a while now and I don’t even know how many of you will remember me. Of course I remember you!! (And especially Gollum )) I have thought of you often wondering where you may have wandered off to.
And I you! And Gollum (to whom Bug always wishes a special "hihi") and Chris and Terra and Shebbie and everyone else! I’ve seen you wander off before, too. I’m surprised we haven’t run into each other on our respective wanderings. But Cherish got me thinking about this place again, and here I am. Glad to see you here. ) Welcome back Domino.
Thanks. What a nice feeling. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Things have changed so much for me since I left here in November. Good changes. Big changes. I am more together now than I have ever been. I. Me. Singular. Merged. Dare I say "integrated"? Why not? Integrated. No, the others have not been forgotten. We are working as one now though. There is no "we" in "I" although they are in me. Now they are seen only briefly and only by my therapist. For us, it is good that way. That’s sort of where I’m at. I’ve never really been fully dissociative, but more ddnos.
Yep. Our official diagnosis would be DDNOS and PTSD. For quite a while we were traveling further down the DDNOS scale heading towards the DID end. Each of us going our separate ways. Ironically, it has taken a car accident, sickness and death to bring us together. Life is good. Hell….life is great. I am working on major, major personal issues in therapy. Working on them…..not running away from them. Thats great to hear. I’m working on issues also lately. I have been using meditation and yoga to help me feel centered. I have been seeing how my ‘parts’ function in my system in dreams. I keep a dream journal, and although I feel a great deal of pain many times, I still benefit because I’m learning more about me.
I’m glad to hear you are working on issues, too. Would you be willing to talk some more about the meditation that you do? Meditating is something I have wanted to do and am even attempting now but without any guidance, it is proving quite difficult. First my mind races and races and then I fall asleep. Not quite the results I was looking for but I sure can use the sleep! (I am really baffled by the exhaustion that still plagues me, especially since I have been eating better and been exercising regularly for 6 months now….) Your dream journal intrigues me. Just last week, my t and I were talking about me keeping one. It is not yet safe for me to write down the bits and pieces of the dream I remember. They all center around the s*xual abuse we suffered and the thought of writing them down is not an okay thing yet. The prevailing feeling is that writing them down really makes it all too real. There is also concern that innocent eyes might find the journal and read about things that innocent minds should never have to have knowledge of……. Hearing that your journal is helping you to understand more about how your parts function–I like that. I think I’ll throw that thought inside and let everyone toss that idea around for a while. Maybe it is the "push" that they need to see how a dream journal might benefit us. It’s nice to see a new ‘familiar’ face return. People have been coming and going like grand central station lately.
Yes, I see lots of unfamiliar names. I miss the people whose names I haven’t seen yet. Perhaps they will return one day. I left the group myself for awhile. I have just recently been putting more energy back into posting again after a long retreat.
Breaks are a necessary part of healing, I think. I am glad you are back. Nice to see you again; and feeling so good at that. )
Thanks! I’m so happy that you are doing well too! Take good care, Domino – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – From the ashes, Phoenix — "Fear is the true enemy, the only enemy."
Response:
Jan writes: Hi Domino, Not sure we ever met, maybe a couple of years ago. Glad to hear you are doing well and things are working out for you. Best wishes and congrats! Jan
Hi Jan, I’m not sure about meeting before either……so, in case we didn’t…..it’s nice to meet you! Thank you for your kind words. Domino
Response:
lots of snipping… i’ve been doing yoga and tai chi classes on weekends. a first i found the tai chi really incredibly agonizing, was so painful, had so much mental resistance to it, but as soon as i stopped resisting i found it incredibly wonderful. is about the same with meditation, i HATE sitting down to do it , it’s physically painful and sometimes i just pass out immediately, but when i get past that i go really deep into it quickly and i get so much from it.
Stop resisting? Is ~that~ all there is to it? :):) Okay, who can tell me how to stop resisting?? Seriously, though, I have continued working on meditating and can now feel the body relax. But I still can’t focus on what we want to focus on. Letting go, listening and believing….are proving to be very difficult. Practice, practice, practice. [...] i’m trying to keep a dream journal as well, they try to teach me through dreams
In t’py this week, I actually interpreted a dream I had had that morning. When I had the dream and when I related it to my t, I had no idea what it was really about. But the more I thought about it, and the more questions she asked, the more the pieces fell into place. That was cool! [...] Breaks are a necessary part of healing, I think. I am glad you are back. breaks are a necessary part of healing? i like that
Gosh, when you put it that way, it reads completely different. I didn’t realize the irony of what I wrote. But, either way you read it, I think it remains true. Domino
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