Question:
Dear L., Why did you tell my doc it was ok to let me out of hosp on Fr knowing he was going on a 2 wk vacation, then "dump" me on Tues? Why did you turn the tables on me cuz I ran back to the hosp and tell 2 pple that I said I would h’rm them? I always took things out on me and you knew that? It almost got my son taken away from me had I not had the doc I have/had. And I spent 6 wks in hosp cuz of your paranoia~not mine. Embarrassed that I evaded cops you called that would have meant a strange hosp’tal? Or did not get my arms broken like another ex-pt I met later that you had done same with? I left the state for a yr becuz of you. Then came back. I still ache from your abandonment of me that you would not even explain. I have never had another T either for DID becuz they all know my name~from you. Thanks L. For the first time I am in a rage that might make me need more help.But who??! Songbird_Sometimes http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves !
Response:
I hope you do read here~becuz over the years since you "dumped" me I got way worse! You used me to learn on~then turned your back on me. I will never have another T becuz of the pros you told about me. I was way more functional until you……Happy??? <Tears Forever Songbird_Sometimes PS~Guess Nova Univ In FL still l’ves you <sigh http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves !
Response:
after reading the last two posts on this topic i felt so very sad that this happened. I’ve had a few bad t myself but fortunately two good ones. Please don’t give up on getting help for yourself what ever form that may take. Regardless of all the reasons why this happened your feelings are understandable and expected. In the mean time do you have ppl in your life that are supportive? What do you do to make yourself safe? I’m not trying to be nosy just concerned about your well-being. hope you stick around to share your pain. Lots of h*gs if thats ok. 
) DJ & co ps no e-mail please. thanks – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear L., Why did you tell my doc it was ok to let me out of hosp on Fr knowing he was going on a 2 wk vacation, then "dump" me on Tues? Why did you turn the tables on me cuz I ran back to the hosp and tell 2 pple that I said I would h’rm them? I always took things out on me and you knew that? It almost got my son taken away from me had I not had the doc I have/had. And I spent 6 wks in hosp cuz of your paranoia~not mine. Embarrassed that I evaded cops you called that would have meant a strange hosp’tal? Or did not get my arms broken like another ex-pt I met later that you had done same with? I left the state for a yr becuz of you. Then came back. I still ache from your abandonment of me that you would not even explain. I have never had another T either for DID becuz they all know my name~from you. Thanks L. For the first time I am in a rage that might make me need more help.But who??! Songbird_Sometimes http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves ! </PRE</HTML
Response:
I hope you do read here~becuz over the years since you "dumped" me I got way worse! You used me to learn on~then turned your back on me.
I’ve had a T who seemed to have done the same thing, use us to learn and then terminate when she realized she was too unskilled. Not a pleasant experience at all. I will never have another T becuz of the pros you told about me. I was way more functional until you……Happy???
I doubt she is happy. I get that you’re angry with her lots. <Tears Forever
I hope not. PS~Guess Nova Univ In FL still l’ves you <sigh
Being a T myself, I’d hate to think that a client of mine, no matter how disgruntled about the treatment and how it ended would go out and make my name and where I worked publically known. If anything, I would invite a client to file a malpractice claim or report me to my licensing agency if they felt my practice was incompetent. Dear L., Why did you tell my doc it was ok to let me out of hosp on Fr knowing he was going on a 2 wk vacation, then "dump" me on Tues?
Have you ever thought of writing directly to her to find out answers to this? Why did you turn the tables on me cuz I ran back to the hosp and tell 2 pple that I said I would h’rm them? I always took things out on me and you knew that?
I have to say here, Songbird that IF you told her this, that you would h*rm two ppl and she knew who they were AND she lives/practices in a state where the Tarasoff Act is law, she had ~no~ choice but to inform these ppl. It matters not that you have a pattern of h*rming just yourself. TheTarasoff Act is a law that states that ppl in certain designated fields must inform all parties named, when it is possible to do so, when a statement intending to do bodily h*rm is made. Perhaps, this is a lesson learned here for you. If you make these statements, they will be taken seriously and will not be kept confidential. It almost got my son taken away from me had I not had the doc I have/had. And I spent 6 wks in hosp cuz of your paranoia~not mine. Embarrassed that I evaded cops you called that would have meant a strange hosp’tal? Or did not get my arms broken like another ex-pt I met later that you had done same with? I left the state for a yr becuz of you. Then came back. I still ache from your abandonment of me that you would not even explain. I have never had another T either for DID becuz they all know my name~from you. Thanks L. For the first time I am in a rage that might make me need more help.But who??!
I have no idea who and I’m sure someone out there will be willing to work with you. I don’t know how much any of the other stuff mentioned above is really her fault or not. I hope for you, that whatever help you find will be of assistance in making life for you more of everything you want. Sierra of TN
Response:
You know Sierra~I feel so angry cuz you did not understand why I did what I did that I was going to fight with you. Your "I am a T too" bit is making me edgy as heck with you. But it just is not worth the effort. Yiou choose to judge before you know the situation. But I have much more serious fights within myself than to fight with you. <sigh Songbirds http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves !
Response:
DJ I am finding out I have more support than I ever thought possible! Thanks for being part of that! ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Songbird http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves !
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Foster~Thanks for hearing me. Abandonment is just so tough on us Dissoids! ‘Hugs and Peace" Songbird http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves !
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Michael our bear family has become one of my biggest healers! Survivors as family_helping each other! Thanks for reminding me!! ((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Songbirds http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves !
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Nina thanks! You are a good doc! And the bear family works so well becuz of your and other memers understanding!! :} :} Songbirds http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves !
Response:
Dear Songbirds, worse days, where is the hope, where is the way of healing. Its not easy to find the answer, but allways i am thinking of the survey of the opposite of rage, its daily in my head, just listen ( i know its old and brought up, but it is still workin): – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Hello everyone When I ask me, what the opposite of rage, there was nothing. I thought, the opposite is the nothing. A bad feeling. So I asked the family, and I got Peace The Power of Choice Love and acceptance Ecstatic Peace or serenity Euphoria Rapture and Peace. Now I know the power of the bear family, to fight against the nothing. I love you all. Many, many hugs from Michael
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Dear Songbirds, I think think I told you before that I think this behaviour of this T was not okay in my eyes. Most ppl here that I am a T myself and I have one priciple in my work: It may be, that I dont know enough or that most d*cs/Ts dont know enough yet, but that there is the possibilty for everyone to heal. I think these are own limits and specially as a T or a d*c someone should know, that there is always a better one who might be able to treat this patient , -I- AM not good enough for. There will be a better one for you. Nina
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear L., Why did you tell my doc it was ok to let me out of hosp on Fr knowing he was going on a 2 wk vacation, then "dump" me on Tues? Why did you turn the tables on me cuz I ran back to the hosp and tell 2 pple that I said I would h’rm them? I always took things out on me and you knew that? It almost got my son taken away from me had I not had the doc I have/had. And I spent 6 wks in hosp cuz of your paranoia~not mine. Embarrassed that I evaded cops you called that would have meant a strange hosp’tal? Or did not get my arms broken like another ex-pt I met later that you had done same with? I left the state for a yr becuz of you. Then came back. I still ache from your abandonment of me that you would not even explain. I have never had another T either for DID becuz they all know my name~from you. Thanks L. For the first time I am in a rage that might make me need more help.But who??! Songbird_Sometimes http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves
! Hi, Songbird Sometimes, It’s Foster. I am crying… :( We are so so sorry that these things happened to you. We’ve had therp problems once too. We feel like you have every right to be rageful, or any other feelings, too. We don’t know what else to say except that we hear you – and our experiences bubble up as well – hope things can be better for you. We will listen… Bye, Foster — "There are two ways of spreading light; To be the candle, or the mirror that reflects it…"
Response:
Songbirds, the things that were done to you by this T are terrible, and I know what it’s like to get a reputation of being a diffiuclt patient that can make it hard to find anyone willing to help, but please don’t let what this woman did keep you from continuing to look for professionals to help you in your healing journey. The best T I’ve had is someone who had little previous experience with dissociation but was well trained and experienced in general, and very open-minded, willing to learn from me, and willing to seek supervision. You can find a T who has never heard this woman’s opinion of you, and you don’t have to let a future T get any records from her if it’s not in your best interests. I can understand your wanting to publicly speak out against her, and I think you have the right to make your feelings known- even though I am also a T, I think it is important that only T’s have to respect confidentiality, not patients- if patients give up their right to openly talk about the ab*se they’ve suffered in therapy, this would just allow the ab*se to go on. Please keep looking for a T- am I remembering wrong, or did you go to school to be a T at one point? Can you get referrals from professors, supervisors, colleagues from internships? My current T was my first MSW internship supervisor, and she’s by far the best I’ve ever had, and I think I feel more secure about her respect for my areas of strength because she has seen me work as a T, so she doesn’t just know me as a patient. Whatever you choose to do, good luck and keep safe. -Nancy
Response:
My pleasure! :p) Please keep talking about how you feel. DJ & co
Response:
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Dear L., Why did you tell my doc it was ok to let me out of hosp on Fr knowing he was going on a 2 wk vacation, then "dump" me on Tues? Why did you turn the tables on me cuz I ran back to the hosp and tell 2 pple that I said I would h’rm them? I always took things out on me and you knew that? It almost got my son taken away from me had I not had the doc I have/had. And I spent 6 wks in hosp cuz of your paranoia~not mine. Embarrassed that I evaded cops you called that would have meant a strange hosp’tal? Or did not get my arms broken like another ex-pt I met later that you had done same with? I left the state for a yr becuz of you. Then came back. I still ache from your abandonment of me that you would not even explain. I have never had another T either for DID becuz they all know my name~from you. Thanks L. For the first time I am in a rage that might make me need more help.But who??! Songbird_Sometimes http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves !
Songbird, I am telling you this because I am your friend. You have gone into overload. My fight with Dr. Barach was over a silly message. Let me assure that professionals are not spending their time pouring over the archives at ASD. They may occasionally read and document some of the issues that we speak about here, and why not. Many of the individuals here explain with such clarity and do not hold back information about how it is to be DID/MPD. Let me assure you that even if your name was Tweety Bird and I was really the original Andre Gide they would not take that much interest in us. Just think about how many people really know who Andre Gide is? I mean he won the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1947 and his name has already receded into oblivion. Only a bibliophile like me and few others here know who he is. In most circles you mention his name and they will give you a blank look and wonder why you would even bother to read such stuff. So I guess what I am trying to say is I think that we are safe from scrutiny. We just don’t rank. I find it kind of nice myself though, because it allows me to be myself. I don’t have to impress anyone. Only my close friends and certain family members find me to be important. Guess what though? They are more interested in who I am than they have ever been interested in getting to know Andre Gide. I am the one that they care about, not some Nobel Prize winner, and I feel the same way toward them. Lets go get that well deserved sleep that we both need. I am in overload too, andregide Back into hiding to get some rest.
Response:
You know Sierra~I feel so angry cuz you did not understand why I did what I did that I was going to fight with you.
If you mean, did I understand that you were writing (posting) a letter to her? Yes, Songbird, I understood this. My offering the feedback that if a client of mine were to have issues of incompetency, etc that there are avenues to take to get them addressed was a statement of preference. It wasn’t to say that you posting a letter to her was wrong. The letter to her doesn’t bother me at all. I did think the posting of her work place was uncalled for. You’re in the helping profession….imagine if someone did this to you ie. posted how terrible you are/were at your work and gave your current work place so they could find you. There’s a lot of whackos out there in the world…I’d hate to have one coming knocking at my workplace bc of something they read about me on the net. Your "I am a T too" bit is making me edgy as heck with you.
I can understand this. When I read the workplace of this T posted, it didn’t sit well with me. It felt vindictive. I get that you’re upset with this T and you may have some good reasons for being angry. I also felt and thought that one of your reasons for being angry with her wasn’t valid. In particular, blaming her for reporting a threat of h*rm to the ppl you had made them towards. In the US, the Tarasoff Act is a federal law superceding state. Your T didn’t have a choice and to blame her and be angry with her for reporting and for the sequence of events that might have followed bc of your threat, is also not her fault imo. Imo, it is your behavior that brought that about and like I said, I hope this was a learning experience for you and that hopefully, you can now understand if you weren’t aware before of the federal law she is mandated to uphold. Songbird, I knew my sharing wasn’t going to bode well with you and I accept that and your anger towards me. I’m not sorry I said what I said. I felt you needed to hear it. Based on what you had shared, not all of your anger appears justified towards her. Some of it, I believe, belongs to you and the choices you have made. It’s not all black and white imo. If my honesty offended you bc what you had wanted from everyone who responded to your post was to take your "side" completely and consider her and her actions "all bad", I couldn’t give you that bc I would have been dishonest in doing so. Some of your anger is justified and some of it is not imo. But it just is not worth the effort. Yiou choose to judge before you know the situation.
I simply gave you feedback on what you had shared. If what you posted is not the whole story, then of course, I can’t know the whole situation. But I have much more serious fights within myself than to fight with you. <sigh
I have no interest in fighting with you, Songbird. I do wish you healing and that you are able to find someone who will work with you. Sierra of TN – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I hope you do read here~becuz over the years since you "dumped" me I got way worse! You used me to learn on~then turned your back on me. I’ve had a T who seemed to have done the same thing, use us to learn and then terminate when she realized she was too unskilled. Not a pleasant experience at all. I will never have another T becuz of the pros you told about me. I was way more functional until you……Happy??? I doubt she is happy. I get that you’re angry with her lots. <Tears Forever I hope not. PS~Guess Nova Univ In FL still l’ves you <sigh Being a T myself, I’d hate to think that a client of mine, no matter how disgruntled about the treatment and how it ended would go out and make my name and where I worked publically known. If anything, I would invite a client to file a malpractice claim or report me to my licensing agency if they felt my practice was incompetent. Dear L., Why did you tell my doc it was ok to let me out of hosp on Fr knowing he was going on a 2 wk vacation, then "dump" me on Tues? Have you ever thought of writing directly to her to find out answers to this? Why did you turn the tables on me cuz I ran back to the hosp and tell 2 pple that I said I would h’rm them? I always took things out on me and you knew that? I have to say here, Songbird that IF you told her this, that you would h*rm two ppl and she knew who they were AND she lives/practices in a state where the Tarasoff Act is law, she had ~no~ choice but to inform these ppl. It matters not that you have a pattern of h*rming just yourself. TheTarasoff Act is a law that states that ppl in certain designated fields must inform all parties named, when it is possible to do so, when a statement intending to do bodily h*rm is made. Perhaps, this is a lesson learned here for you. If you make these statements, they will be taken seriously and will not be kept confidential. It almost got my son taken away from me had I not had the doc I have/had. And I spent 6 wks in hosp cuz of your paranoia~not mine. Embarrassed that I evaded cops you called that would have meant a strange hosp’tal? Or did not get my arms broken like another ex-pt I met later that you had done same with? I left the state for a yr becuz of you. Then came back. I still ache from your abandonment of me that you would not even explain. I have never had another T either for DID becuz they all know my name~from you. Thanks L. For the first time I am in a rage that might make me need more help.But who??! I have no idea who and I’m sure someone out there will be willing to work with you. I don’t know how much any of the other stuff mentioned above is really her fault or not. I hope for you, that whatever help you find will be of assistance in making life for you more of everything you want. Sierra of TN
Response:
Thank you Nancy for the support. Yes I have my MSW and am trained with a specialty with Parent-child abuse and with emotionally ill children.I have worked with children many years as a teacher (pre-schoolers mainly) and in the role of T with parents and kids in high risk nursery schools. Since my probs with this one T tho~had to quit. Instead I have spent years with advocacy of the emotionally ill and now am part of a trauma family where I do on-line crisis care. I view myself as a peer as it is both volunteer plus the lone and caring is reciprocated by others with me. Everyone is PTSD,Diss-disordered or DID. We depend on each other. But I luv this Family of Choice we have. ASDIS was the beginning of my healing again,then the Family. So hopefully one day I will work for pay again. Right now this is the best choice for me! Songbird http://www.geocities.com/Wellesley/1279/ From DID To DAFT Dissociatives In Distress To Dissociatives Advocating For Themselves !
Response:
Dear Songbird, I was not able to look at your post much when I first tried to open it up. I felt a lot of pain for a number of different reasons. I’m not trying to take anything away from you but I hope that you will forgive me for doing a little of my own processing here with this ng as a result of it. You and others don’t have to read what I write if you are not in a good place. I will put in 2 spoilers. One is for my own feelings of guilt about things I have done similar to the T* to other people and the other spoiler is for my own rage at T*’s. Spoiler for my own unkindness to others: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 I feel a lot of guilt because there are two people who where friends that started to tell me their problems and after a while I pulled the plug and would not listen to them. They were both in great pain at the time and had no one else to go to. I did this because of my own needs, my lack of understanding for them, and my lack of understanding of what I was like, the pain I had inside myself and what the word "overwhelm" means. I was not a T*. Still am not and don’t plan to be. I try to support people when I can. It would be nice to have a nice career and it would be nice to be helpful to people. T*s carry a large responsibility. I don’t have the capacity (nor a large enough interest in the field) to carry that responsibility. I know that about myself. There are many things I don’t know about myself or didn’t know about myself when I started out to do them. I learn about me daily. I still feel sorry about the people who wanted to share their pain with me and I couldn’t deal with it. One was my husband of 23 years (ex now). There was no way I could, in all those years, change what I did to him. I was never able to get a resolution on that. There are still people today who want to tell me something or lean on me and I have to tell them to be careful. I will do what I can but there will be a moment when I am not strong enough to handle being a resource for others (externals) and so people have to have other pillars of support besides just me. If someone chooses to lean only on me then in my mind they will have to take the responsibility when this pillar falls over. (When I fall over I get up again after a while.) But I am not a T*. A T* is someone that people believe they can count on as a primary pillar of support. It is inheritent in the word. If a T* is disabled. If they are having a difficult time or triggered about something I believe they have a duty to get what they need in the way of help (G*d knows we’re paying them enough they ought to be able to get the best T* money can buy). I believe they also have a responsibility to inform their patients. "This is my stuff. I am having a difficult time just now. I want you to know it’s not your fault. I am calling upon __ T* to help me with my patients who are in crisis if I have moments when I can not help them because I need to take care of myself at this moment until I can become strong enough to help others. I will always help you as much as I can but my capacity to give is limited by my own holes until I can heal them." Other Spoiler for my own anger at T* 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 I believe we have the right to say whatever we need to about T* to other MPD’s/DID’s. (I use those terms not as an either or but as synonomous with each other.) I also believe that those of us on the ng (whether consumer or T*) have a responsibility to keep what is said here confidential. True anyone in the whole world could read it and I’m not advocating "secrets". But I personally am taking a stand that I will not go outside this room and trash anyone here for anything (whether it is a T* who says something here or a consumer). However, people here can say anything they like to each other and in my mind those dialogues will eventually produce some kind of healing. When things are not said they don’t heal (in my belief). If someone here says something about someone outside this group like Dr. Hohnicker, then I will consider the possability that what they say is true. If I ever meet the good dr. then I will try to form my own opinion of her and I would hope that people would support me in that. There are many reasons for why she may have done the things Songbird writes about and many reasons for whatever path her life takes in the future. I do believe tho that it was important for Songbird to write this. I think it is important that we not hide what people have done wrong. I believe that the best thing for Dr. H would be that she find out about her shortcomings. Many people in 12 step programs think that the best thing that could ever happen to them was when they found out they had a problem. As long as they were hiding this from themselves they could not grow. It is a weird world where T*s have to pretend to be perfect. There are NO perfect humans! Hope no one missed that. There are no PERFECT humans. You want to hear it again? How often I wish this lie could stop being perpetuated. For people who are able to cope and deal with life with some amount of success, even if that success is only in the workplace and not among the people they are close to there is often the belief that they are o.k. Being successful and being o.k. are two different things. Perhaps it is possable for a person to be o.k. every waking moment of their lives but when I meet people who seem to project that I want to say, "Don’t give me that sh*t. I won’t dissillusion you by trying to spoil your denial but I don’t gotta believe it in my heart of hearts neither." It would be so nice if T*’s would say, I don’t understand this 100%. But they don’t. They give you some crap that makes no sense whatsoever, act like they’re the last authority in the world on it and you go off thinking you’re the weird one. I wish all us who are consumers could say, for what you are getting paid on the Medicaid money that is allocated for our care (or whatever is paying for it) we’re not going to take it any more. We’re not going to take being treated as if we were second class citizens who don’t even know what’s best for us and can be fooled into believing that you do. If you want to get paid for what you do for us then you gotta stand behind us and you gotta admit that you don’t always know better than us and you gotta say you’re sorry if you do something that causes us intense pain. (You may say that you still today would not do anything different if that’s what you honestly feel but it would help us intensely if you said you were sorry for any pain you caused us even unintentionally.) We understand about you being human. We wish you were aware of this too. We can forgive human but we have a hard time forgiving pretending not be be human and us having to pretend that too. I have had some good moments in th*py. I have had some healing moments in th*py. All of the T*’s that I have choosen have been compassionate people that went out of their way to try to support and help me. None of my T*s have been SA towards me or any of my parts. (This has not been true of my shrink docs. I only take buspar and could get from a G.P. but I gotta have a shrink doc when I need any forms filled out. I have most anger towards shrink docs. I am in process of firing one now. I ain’t gonna be treated like chewing gum on the sidewalk any more. Don’t get me started!) Since my ab*se was of what I saw happen to other people mostly I feel lots of anger over what I’ve been told by people about their T*s. This is very triggering for me. But if it does not send me into overwhelm I think is o.k. When something is a problem for me I find it interesting to see how long it will take me to recover from it and what will be the thing that will produce the healing recovery. It’s o.k. for me to experience pain and hurt and anger. I don’t recover from hurt (emotional) quickly. I have never in my life felt physical pain and so never have fear from it. I shut down long before the physical pain could come to me but did not experience the physical pain that I saw. Emotional pain and anger I do recover from quicker than hurt. But I have the formulas to process all my own strong feelings and can come back and walk around with some happiness most of the time. Thanks for being a place where I can post this kind of crapola. Anita (ButterflyPuzzle System)
Response:
Dear Songbird Sometimes, You said; Why did you tell my doc it was ok to let me out of hosp on Fr knowing he was going on a 2 wk vacation, then "dump" me on Tues?
I felt angry reading this. So sorry it happened to you. You deserve to be able to write it here or anywhere in the whole world you wish and even say the name of who this pain is associated with. Spoilered for my own pain; 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Two years ago I called my T*’s office on a monday and left a message for him I needed to go into psych hospital. Was self-destructive and could result in possable S*. Since I was new to Texas and did not know much about hospitals here or how you can get into them I asked his help in getting into a hospital. (In Missouri I had to have my T* arrange for me to get admitted.) I called his office everyday and asked receptionist if he had gotten my message. She said, "yes". I said that I needed to have him call me back that it was an emergency. I also hadn’t seen him lately because he kept not showing up for apts and not telling me or receptionist he was not going to be there. (I had been showing up tho.) On Friday morning I called and said that if he did not call me back by noon I would consider he had abandoned my case. He called me just before noon. He said, "why haven’t you gotten yourself into a hospit*l." I could strangle him. Called a nice Dr. in Houston who’s name I got from the ISSDMPD (or whatever it is) up in Illinois. He helped me get into a hospital. Had to drive 4 hours to Houston. Was so dissociated did not know if I could get to Houston or if I would wind up in New Mexico where I’ve never been in the middle of some big city gang area. Had to have one of my smallest parts drive there who does not know how to drive or which side of the highway to drive on because everybody else was in so much pain nobody else could drive to get there. They would have wound up in N.Y. city or someplace. Got good care in Houston but could not get onto DID unit because I am currently on Medicaid. Was on Insurance until all gone. When I came home I fired him. I called Medicaid and wrote them a letter and said that I think they should not pay him for any outstanding bills and told them what he had done. I would have reported him to an agency tho it would have been a difficult thing to get them to do anything about but he was destroying his own practice anyway. So much stuff I need to express. This is probably worst for me. If anybody reads this thank you for reading it. alc (ButterflyPuzzle System)
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Thank you for listening to pples like Songbird Sometimes even thru your own pain. Hope you continue to take care of yourself too. alc
Response:
Hello DJ & Co. Thank you for saying to Songbird Sometimes Please keep talking about how you feel.
and thank you for putting it on the ng to remind us of that too. alc (ButterflyPuzzle System)
Response:
DJ & Co. So good a post you wrote to Songbird. I could not write her when I first read what she was writing. Thankful that there were people like you who could write her. alc
Response:
Dear Nancy My system wants to thank you too for what you said so kindly to Songbird Sometimes. It helped us too for Songbird to put this "stuff" here and for us to read it and feel our own "stuff" and for you to answer it so affirmingly. [I'm not saying anything bad about anyone else in saying this. I believe everyone has the write to express what they need to and that's probably healing for them.] You write; " I know what it’s like to get a reputation of being a diffiuclt patient that can make it hard to find anyone willing to help, but please don’t let what this woman did keep you from continuing to look for professionals to help you in your healing journey. … I can understand your wanting to publicly speak out against her, and I think you have the right to make your feelings known- even though I am also a T, I think it is important that only T’s have to respect confidentiality, not patients- if patients give up their right to openly talk about the ab*se they’ve suffered in therapy, this would just allow the ab*se to go on." alc (ButterflyPuzzle System’s Corporation)
Response:
Hello Michael, I did not understand all your post. Sometimes my mind is spinning and then something makes it spin more. I like the part about Peace The Power of Choice Love and acceptance Ecstatic Peace or serenity Euphoria Rapture and Peace.
I think it is the opposite of so much stuff. Thanks for putting it here. alc (ButterflyPuzzle System)
Response:
You write; Dear Songbirds, I think think I told you before that I think this behaviour of this T was not okay in my eyes. Most ppl here that I am a T myself and I have one priciple in my work: It may be, that I dont know enough or that most d*cs/Ts dont know enough yet, but that there is the possibilty for everyone to heal. I think these are own limits and specially as a T or a d*c someone should know, that there is always a better one who might be able to treat this patient , -I- AM not good enough for. There will be a better one for you. Nina
Thank you for writing healing messages to pples on asd. alc (ButterflyPuzzle System)
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