Question:
dear alc, Thats amazing. wow. penny
Response:
Tonight I spent the evening on AOL doing some searches using the search engine, Excite. It took the entire evening as my computer is traveling about as fast as a tortoise. Probably it would be a good idea to get more memory. At any rate I searched for sites for the following words and came up with an interesting # of matches; ~WORD~ ~# MATCHES~ Computer 2,334,641 Multiple Personality 927,323 Chr*stian 550,006 Sleep Disorder 339,367 G*y 195,840 G*n 195,840 Depr*ssion 112,906 Republican 105,395 Diabetes 74,702 Democrat 49,425 Alzheimer 32,701 Schizophrenia 14,314 Lupus 13,362 Encephalitis 4,702 Jewelery 2,376 What exactly it proves is anyone’s guess. However, if MPD were as rare as generally believed I think there would be fewer sites available to it. Just a little personal theory. alc – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – - – To Struggle produces—Transcendance—–Meaning—–Hope—–a Raison D’etre. A person with a raison d’etre is a catalyst for change.
Response:
Dear Penny, I’m glad you liked the info I came up with in the search. I doubt that there would be very many other topics that could be searched for that would come up with a lot more sites than MPD. It would have to be something like computers. When I tell mono’s about this they say, "but all those MPD people probably have a lot of sites each." I don’t think that’s true. I don’t have a site. Bet lots of people on ASD don’t either. I don’t think that even MPD’s that have web pages have more than one web site. There may be several different routes to take to get to a web page but I’m sure the NRA has a lot of routes to get to their sites and I’m sure the Republicans do too. Anyway, I can now get e-mail at the above address which I think will make things simplier. Thanks for bearing with me on this. alc.
Response:
Dear Delian, I just answered this post but just before I sent it my computer cut me off the internet and then when I tried to get back on as butrflpuzl it wouldn’t let me read this thread since it had already been read. I had to exit and come back in under a different name to be able to read it. I don’t believe my first answer was sent and so will write another. You may get 2 answers to this same post.
isn’t it a pain when buttons and keys don’t let you navigate the net "as usual"? At any rate I don’t see my search statistics to be a serious thing and hope that people will take it in some fun. I just believe they show a trend and are not a scientific investigation. For example if MPD were a rare disease then one would expect that the number of sites would be about the equivalent of those for rare diseases and not greater numbers than most topics except for a topic like computers.
yes i never had a thought of these numbers were scientifically significant…. i know of 9 mpd support grouips online, and i know there are many more in related groups like bpd, SO of mpd, Littles groups, at least one group i know of just for [protector states… also ptsd online support groups… i think it would be fascinating for all mpd groups to know of each other just to allow the significance of online mpd coummunity to be known. but then many groups are deeply hidded to protect from those predators who would seek them out…. I appreciated your own searches and for sharing with us about fmsf. This is an area that I don’t spend too much time worrying about. I can’t tell you whether the things I’ve told my Th*psts are true or not. And I wouldn’t expect my th*psts to verify these things.
one of the things i find of interest in the FMSF organization is how far judicially, politically, and publically the guilty and their supporters will go to deny their harmful behavior… and the fmsf folk are very connected to those who have much knowledge of clinicians deliberately creating alter states with complete amnesia barriers in adults.. they know it is done… so they are trying to say that the current mpd phenomena is all created by the treating therp’st… and they resis the idea that predators out in society could possiblely produce the same effect on a person through their abuse… (They don’t know either.) However, it has been important for me to be able to talk about these things. I was lucky in that my first th*pst who didn’t understand my disorder and seemed to project that I spent far too much time in the past said to me that if I needed to talk about howling at the moon I could do it. Since I was paying $100/week (or roughly 1/2 my total family income each month) and coming in faithfully each week with pages of material that I had worked on during the week he seemed to think I deserved to be listened to. Also, I expressed a great deal of anxiety about the things I talked about.
ya i went to two county menatal health therp’st about 7 months for one and 14 months for the other… they stated they would not do ther’py as they had no expertise but they would just listen, i found it a very mixed bag as i was reaching out very extremely, and desperately for help and i just kept getting this pleasant nodding of their head… i felt like i was dy*ng and they they were there to hold my hand while it happened… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -I did not expect to have the results I did. I came into th*py due to test anxiety that I was having. Since I was a teenager I had wanted to know why my life didn’t make sense. When I (not my th*pist) came on my dx. finally my life made sense. I had been s*cid*lly depr*ssed for 30 years. I have not been depr*ssed (or s*cid*l) since 1992. I spent much of my life as anxious as I was depr*ssed. I arranged constant chaos and craziness with a host of other people. I used to drive around town looking for people to pick up and bring home. Now I lock my car doors when I go out at night. My emotions were on a constant roller coaster. Much of these changes have not been due to medication (tho I’m not opposed to that). I take B*spar 2.5mg 3Xday. Many of the changes in my life have been due to something that I would not recommend to anyone else that has any other way to successfully deal with life. I didn’t until I discovered the power of abre*ctions. It took me 2 1/2 years to find what I think people today call containers. That made the process easier. As I walked into each monster’s den and looked at the monster square in the face and applied whatever ointments I could I began to heal. Having a 2nd. th*pst who understood what I was talking about made it less retraumatizing. Looking back at what I now know things could have been far easier. You didn’t ask me any of this. I just felt the need to say it. My apologies for going on like this.
this is ok you are sharing very significant things about yourself and your journey as a dissociative and i am sure your words speak to many many of those here reading… I do believe that it is important for us to be able to preserve the healing methods that work for us. Sharing what works for each of us I think may make it easier for each other. (Under no circumstances do I think that one should try to do this healing alone. It is too easy to get into a lot of negative thinking. And I believe that the most important person that we need to have in our corner is a paid professional.) At the same time listening to what I felt was in my own best interest quickly became my number one priority. Initially, noone I knew understood my disorder better than I did. (Tho some thought they did.) That turned out to be a huge plus for me. It allowed me to evolve a way to heal that worked best for me and gave me a lot of faith in myself.
my t. isa very good been going for 3 yrs now… he is very careful not to be directive or to be the expert… of course he knows i was harmed severely by such therps. so he goes the other way to leave me in charge of my healing journey.. restoring my poer of choice, and self determination… it is very slow going tho… i am very much a mess… Before I go I would like to answer your question about whether or not I searched for Dissociation as well as MPD. True some listings may only say Dissociation but I think that most listings have the topics MPD as well as DID. If I had searched for Dissociation I would have had to crosscheck it to see which sites were the same for both topics. It is things like this that makes this search unscientific. Not being scientifically exacting does not make something valueless. I think there is still mean in the search. At the same time I do hope that people have fun with it and not take it too seriously.
i wasn’t being very serious about any interpretations but i like the general picture you shared… and there are so many many many mpd person who do not have net access…. what if we created a program to provide a puter and online access for every mpd person who had such an interest… whoah the online mpd community could be a very dominant presemce online… don’t you think? and i have heard folk like kluft don’t agree with mpd chatting online…. says it many negatively effect their therpy.. now that is interesting… some t’s dont want you to be so informed… just let them be the doc… and let them understand and know what is going on… alc
delian, aka deb’s own
Response:
Dear Delian, I just answered this post but just before I sent it my computer cut me off the internet and then when I tried to get back on as butrflpuzl it wouldn’t let me read this thread since it had already been read. I had to exit and come back in under a different name to be able to read it. I don’t believe my first answer was sent and so will write another. You may get 2 answers to this same post. At any rate I don’t see my search statistics to be a serious thing and hope that people will take it in some fun. I just believe they show a trend and are not a scientific investigation. For example if MPD were a rare disease then one would expect that the number of sites would be about the equivalent of those for rare diseases and not greater numbers than most topics except for a topic like computers. I appreciated your own searches and for sharing with us about fmsf. This is an area that I don’t spend too much time worrying about. I can’t tell you whether the things I’ve told my Th*psts are true or not. And I wouldn’t expect my th*psts to verify these things. (They don’t know either.) However, it has been important for me to be able to talk about these things. I was lucky in that my first th*pst who didn’t understand my disorder and seemed to project that I spent far too much time in the past said to me that if I needed to talk about howling at the moon I could do it. Since I was paying $100/week (or roughly 1/2 my total family income each month) and coming in faithfully each week with pages of material that I had worked on during the week he seemed to think I deserved to be listened to. Also, I expressed a great deal of anxiety about the things I talked about. I did not expect to have the results I did. I came into th*py due to test anxiety that I was having. Since I was a teenager I had wanted to know why my life didn’t make sense. When I (not my th*pist) came on my dx. finally my life made sense. I had been s*cid*lly depr*ssed for 30 years. I have not been depr*ssed (or s*cid*l) since 1992. I spent much of my life as anxious as I was depr*ssed. I arranged constant chaos and craziness with a host of other people. I used to drive around town looking for people to pick up and bring home. Now I lock my car doors when I go out at night. My emotions were on a constant roller coaster. Much of these changes have not been due to medication (tho I’m not opposed to that). I take B*spar 2.5mg 3Xday. Many of the changes in my life have been due to something that I would not recommend to anyone else that has any other way to successfully deal with life. I didn’t until I discovered the power of abre*ctions. It took me 2 1/2 years to find what I think people today call containers. That made the process easier. As I walked into each monster’s den and looked at the monster square in the face and applied whatever ointments I could I began to heal. Having a 2nd. th*pst who understood what I was talking about made it less retraumatizing. Looking back at what I now know things could have been far easier. You didn’t ask me any of this. I just felt the need to say it. My apologies for going on like this. I do believe that it is important for us to be able to preserve the healing methods that work for us. Sharing what works for each of us I think may make it easier for each other. (Under no circumstances do I think that one should try to do this healing alone. It is too easy to get into a lot of negative thinking. And I believe that the most important person that we need to have in our corner is a paid professional.) At the same time listening to what I felt was in my own best interest quickly became my number one priority. Initially, noone I knew understood my disorder better than I did. (Tho some thought they did.) That turned out to be a huge plus for me. It allowed me to evolve a way to heal that worked best for me and gave me a lot of faith in myself. Before I go I would like to answer your question about whether or not I searched for Dissociation as well as MPD. True some listings may only say Dissociation but I think that most listings have the topics MPD as well as DID. If I had searched for Dissociation I would have had to crosscheck it to see which sites were the same for both topics. It is things like this that makes this search unscientific. Not being scientifically exacting does not make something valueless. I think there is still mean in the search. At the same time I do hope that people have fun with it and not take it too seriously. alc
Response:
dear delian, what does fmsf folk stand for? best penny
Response:
i don’t have a website either… did you do a search for fmsf folk? i am curious what the proportionate difference might be between fmsf sites and mpd sites… do you think there maybe mpd sites that only use the DID name for mpd? maybe i will get on my buns and do some searching myself… delian, aka deb’s own – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – dear alc, i dont have a site either. your stats are fascinating best penny
Response:
dear alc, i dont have a site either. your stats are fascinating best penny
Response:
the infamous false memory syndrome foundation with loftus and others uhhh freyd an others i cant think of right now.. i found 301 hits for the letters fmsf on excite lots of those were criticizing the fmsf… delian, aka deb’s – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – dear delian, what does fmsf folk stand for? best penny
Response:
Hello Delian, In your post about "interesting statistics" you state; i know of 9 mpd support grouips online, and i know there are many more in related groups like bpd, SO of mpd, Littles groups, at least one group i know of just for [protector states… also ptsd online support groups… i think
it would be fascinating for all mpd groups to know of each other just to allow the significance of online mpd coummunity to be known. but then many groups are deeply hidded to protect from those predators who would seek them out…. One of the people in my system got very excited when you mentioned "at least one group i know of just for [protector states…" It would be so nice to find out about that. It’s such a big responsibility. Helen my t. isa very good been going for 3 yrs now… he is very careful not to be directive or to be the expert… of course he knows i was harmed severely by such therps. so he goes the other way to leave me in charge of my healing journey.. restoring my poer of choice, and self determination… it is very slow going tho… i am very much a mess…
Glad you have a good th*pst. Sounds good especially about restoring your "poer of choice". I still feel messed up too tho sometimes it seems not just me but that the whole world needs healing. there are so many many many mpd person who do not have net access…. what if we created a program to provide a puter and online access for every mpd person who had such an interest… whoah the online mpd community could
be a very dominant presemce online… don’t you think? and i have heard folk like kluft don’t agree with mpd chatting online…. says it many negatively effect their therpy.. now that is interesting… some t’s dont want you to be so informed… just let them be the doc… and let them understand and know what is going on…
Yes, I remember when I was in med school and found out I was MPD and started reading Kluft. I thought what he had to say was very impressive, still do. I remember reading about how compulsive MPD’s were about finding out about their disorder. Shortly after that my th*pst’s son was dx’d ADD. Instantly, he became an expert in the field, read everything he could find, attended seminars over the country and started giving seminars. I was in a psych hospital about that time. The staff there were trying to educate people about their illnesses, schizophrenics and depressives and bipolars and such. No one wanted me to find out about my disorder. This all seemed unreal to me. I decided Kluft was right. That it was probably not a good idea for me to spend a lot of time worrying about what people had to say about my disorder. (I didn’t get the feeling that anyone else understood it any better than I did.) I stopped reading everything and concentrated on what I needed. Was probably the best thing that could have happened to me. It did keep me out of touch with resources like this quite a bit tho. Getting connected up with ASD has probably been one of the best things that happened for me since I found out I had MPD. It doesn’t matter so much to me what other people say, if it works for me I’ll use it. If it improves the quality of my life that’s all I need to know. Sure, I believe there will be some mistakes. I think there can be false memories created. I think there needs to be professional standards. At the same time the big question for me is a lot of people are in a lot of pain. I’d like the focus to be on how can we help relieve some of that suffering and help people live more whole and fulfilling lives. Sometimes I get frustrated with the wheels that spin while the real problem seems to be ignored. I like it that AIDS patients called for lessening of tests on AIDS meds before they could be issued to people who are d*eing. Recently, I had to make a decision over a child and someone suspected of being a perv*rt. We had no proof. Probably there had been no harm done, yet. I thot to myself if I have to err I’d rather it be on the side of a child. I feel the same way about this. I believe our number one priority needs to be first do no harm and second lets find ways to heal and decrease the energy we’re giving to things that interfere with that. All just imo. alc
Response:
thanks delian, I find the fsf pretty sick. One thing though, i spoke to their expert once (when i was denying my DOCUMENTED past) and i was told: Well, we dont think you are describing false memories, it doesnt fit the pattern. So they are not totally deluded. They dont think all DID or Abuse or SRA is false. But i do wish the fms would shut up. best penny
Response:
i agree with butfl. best penny
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