Trauma – PTSD

Question:

Hi guys.  I know it’s been a while since you saw me here, and i hope that you don’t mind my coming back.

I’m going to act like you didn’t say that, Rie. You know I’ve been wanting you back! I’m sorry, i feel like i should have been here helping and i wasn’t.

I get that way too; guilty cause I don’t have the energy to help others, then guilty for feeling guilty…Aaaack! (my mom recently asked if I had become Catholic since I seem to have all this guilt! ha!) (<—-spoiler, I’m Episcopalian, I have nothing against Catholics, it’s just a lighthearted joke) I read the post about the woman who tried to commit suicide and it really got to me for some reaon.  Like i said, i have been readig ALL the posts

Yeah, between that one and LindsayZ, I’m really wishing I could go on some sort of humanitarian mission to help these people who are going through such a tough time. I know that you all get tired of hearing the same old what we are here for?  I mean i don’t get tired of hearing it over and over aagain and maybe you don’t either.  

Exactly. Which is why you never have to apologize for needing some help. I’m lonely, I’m scared and i’m finally crying about it.

<puts arm around Rie here you go, I have a full box of Kleenex for you, and I’m here for you as long as you need me. "Marie, what do you need right now?"

I admit it, I have been *wondering* what Rie was short for! [snip of Mom being self-centered and not a heck of a lot of support for hurting Rie] Now I see why you are so wonderfully supportive here at asd; it’s because it is what you’ve always wanted to receive from your mom. I’m so sorry she’s not there for you, especially after you told her exactly what you needed. Danny is dealing with eveything in his own way i guess.   I hope and pray that this relationship lasts.   it’s a good one, i’m just afraid that the anxiety/panic/OCD/PTSD/depression doesn’t ruin it.   He says it won’t.

Can I confess something to you? Wed night I watched Party of Five, and this woman was deep in a pit of depression, and her parents and her boyfriend were fighting over who got to take care of her. The parents took her away and the boyfriend was torn with grief. And I thought, I’ll never have someone that’s so in love with me like that guy, or like Rie has Danny. Danny knows you’re wonderful. All of you; the whole package. Don’t worry. i deserve to be happy!   I am worth something.  I do not deserve to be treated the way he did me.   I just want to be happy.  Danny doesn’t scream.  He doesn’t yell, he doesn’t hit,.   He loves me and he touches me and he holds me. When i cry he doesn’t say "get over it" or Oh God, here you go again."   He tells me it’s ok, he holds me and lets me cry.  Tells me to cry and let it out and loves me just as much afterwards as he did before.  

YES YES YES, you DESERVE all of this and more! All i want.   Inow, I,I,I,me, me, me,  I’m being selfish i know,

Stop apologizing!!!! And where the hell are Thomas and Bo!

I wonder if Thomas is gone for good. I e-mailed Bo yesterday to see where/how he was, but haven’t heard anything. I’m worried about him, and I miss him. Ok, i think i’m done now.   I’m sorry to unload on you guys.  

I’m going to start counting your apologies! I’ll try and restrain myself to the jokes and the giving of hugs.  It’s what i’m here for anyways right?

Nope, that’s just in RL; here you can do whatever helps YOU. BTW, Core i hope your ankle feels better soon and stops itching.

Yeah, me too Core. Hugs to all of you and i hope i haven’t rambled enough to make you say ‘Oh god, here you go again."

No, I’m saying "Thank God, here you are again." I’m so sorry you’ve been so upset, but I’m glad you came here for support. If you ever want to call me you are welcome to; e-mail me and I’ll give you the number. ((((((((((Rie)))))))))) Take care Rie. Mary — For more information about this service, send e-mail to:

Response:

Again, thank you Mary.   Can you turn around so i can see your wings?  I know they are back there!  : ) (((((((((((((((((((Mary))))))))))))))))) Check out Our World (Mine and Danny’s) at http://members.aol.com/DannysRie/index.html

Response:

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