Trauma – PTSD

Question:

I wouldn’t worry about it, mdove, typos happen all the time. Besides, I read typonese.  *smiles* Sierra of TN

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – and not catching them until i see the post on the news group.  how embarrassing….  i just want to get in there and edit before anyone sees.  yes, i do know how to spell, but i guess i don’t know how to proofread.  sorry, Sierra of TN….I’ve managed to misspell both Sierra and Mosaics in the past week.  guess that’s what happens when one tries to write in the wee hours of the morning. m. dove — For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail:

Response:

and not catching them until i see the post on the news group.  how embarrassing….  i just want to get in there and edit before anyone sees.  yes, i do know how to spell, but i guess i don’t know how to proofread.  sorry, Sierra of TN….I’ve managed to misspell both Sierra and Mosaics in the past week.  guess that’s what happens when one tries to write in the wee hours of the morning.   m. dove — For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail:

Response:

Bunches of us make typos – at some times more than at others.  Many of us have allowed that to be a part of how we let this group let us be more free – because there are ones of us who are more fumbling at the keyboard than others.  I don’t think you need be embarrassed in the least for any of our sakes. Beauty. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – and not catching them until i see the post on the news group.  how embarrassing….  i just want to get in there and edit before anyone sees.  yes, i do know how to spell, but i guess i don’t know how to proofread.  sorry, Sierra of TN….I’ve managed to misspell both Sierra and Mosaics in the past week.  guess that’s what happens when one tries to write in the wee hours of the morning. m. dove — For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail:

Response:

I wouldn’t worry about it, mdove, typos happen all the time. Besides, I read typonese. *smiles* Sierra of TN

Thanks.  *I* realize that, but someone in here thinks we have to keep up the appearance of never making mistakes. And, in keeping with the promise I’ve made to myself to be as honest as I possibly can here, I am now going to try to explain what went into this original post: We ( CS especially) have a terrible habit of trying to imagine what others might be thinking, and using that to stir things up within me and to maintain distance from others.  I have been trying very hard to break this "mind-reading" behavior, but because it has been so automatic for so long, we often backslide. In a recent post to you, I had made a typo in your name, Sierra, and noticed that you had corrected it in your reply.  CS thinks, "Hmmm, that must have bothered her. You should have noticed that before you sent it." Later, in another post, I made a typo on "Mosaics", which was very prominantly displayed in the title.  When I saw that, CS got busy with, "You know,  she is going to think that you have some underlying issues, some ulterior motive, some Freudian slip-type thing going on if you don’t stop misspelling her names!"  Listening obediently, I thought, "Yes, I’d better fix this…", and thus came the ‘I keep making typos…" post.   Now, in a stronger place, I know I should have said, "F*ck off, CS,  you don’t have the right to try to imagine anyone’s thoughts.  Go count our typos, if you are so concerned,  and you will see that we make just as many anywhere else, and it’s quite coincidental that a couple of the many occurred in her name.  Mind your own business."  (or something like that) Now, with all that said, I am thinking about how CS works to create distance, yet, in some twisted way this time he seems to be trying to do the opposite….hmmm….gotta go think for awhile….. mdove — For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail:

Response:

hi, m. dove, fwiw, i do this, too. then hate it that i’ve made so many typos, grammatical errors, or poor word choice. see, there’s one. how much did my mistake bother you? e

What mistake? mdove — For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail:

Response:

hi, m. dove, fwiw, i do this, too. then hate it that i’ve made so many typos, grammatical errors, or poor word choice. then hate it that i’m so obsessive about that bc prolly most ppl here don’t care.

I believe that’s true.  I know I don’t even notice others’  typos. unlike other ngs, few ppl here care about *other* ppls’ typos, poor spelling, grammatical errors, or vocabulary. many of us are still working on being embarrassed about our own. e

I tried to explain in another reply to Sierra of TN  that I guess it’s not really about the typos anyway. < I started explaining more here, but found the explanation unsatisfactory and snipped However, on a rather unrelated topic (but perhaps not entirely unrelated)….. I, too, feel that I have become intellectually diminished over the years.  I don’t know it if is from years of meds (and drug & alcohol abuse in the past), PTSD, or just plain weariness from all the internal bouncing around.  I read some of the things I wrote in college and grad school, and wonder what has become of this mind that was once so bright?  Talk about dumbing down…Oh, well…. mdove — For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail:

Response:

- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hello mdove, I wouldn’t worry about it, mdove, typos happen all the time. Besides, I read typonese. *smiles* Thanks. *I* realize that, but someone in here thinks we have to keep up the appearance of never making mistakes. *nodding* And, in keeping with the promise I’ve made to myself to be as honest as I possibly can here, I am now going to try to explain what went into this original post: Ok, listening…. We ( CS especially) have a terrible habit of trying to imagine what others might be thinking, and using that to stir things up within me and to maintain distance from others. I have been trying very hard to break this "mind-reading" behavior, but because it has been so automatic for so long, we often backslide. I understand what you’re saying. Can I ask if this well-developed ability offers you (or CS) anything positive?

I think at times it can keep us safe, (as in considering all of the possibilities of a situation) ; it can also be helpful when working with children, but that feels more like intuitiveness, sensitivity to others needs, anticipating needs based on what they might be thinking, etc.  The aspect of this "mind-reading" type of behavior that becomes problematic is that which has me imagining what people are thinking about me.  Again, old, archaic stuff…..my mother’s constant refrain was "What will people think?"   I always felt like I had an invisible evaluator with me at all times, watching every move I make, and analyzing what people could think about it. Back to your question, I suppose there is positive in a more benign form of this behavior, but it has become an exaggerated distortion. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – In a recent post to you, I had made a typo in your name, Sierra, and noticed that you had corrected it in your reply. CS thinks, "Hmmm, that must have bothered her. You should have noticed that before you sent it." Later, in another post, I made a typo on "Mosaics", which was very prominently displayed in the title. When I saw that, CS got busy with, "You know, she is going to think that you have some underlying issues, some ulterior motive, some Freudian slip-type thing going on if you don’t stop misspelling her names!" Listening obediently, I thought, "Yes, I’d better fix this…", and thus came the ‘I keep making typos…" post. *nodding* I see. So basically, this instance of mind-reading was more of the same.

Of course, it’s actually "attempted mind reading"  or "imagined mind reading".  I’m no psychic (like the lady who is beckoning folks to call her on TV at this moment…."Call-a me now!!!) That aside … You guys sound like some of TN’s ppl. *grin*

Really?  <interested   I guess I am too new around here to know much about them. And, my newsreader automatically initiates correcting grammar and spelling and I usually ‘ok’ adjustments in spelling without having actually gone over each individual word or phrase. )

Understood Now, in a stronger place, I know I should have said, "F*ck off, CS, you don’t have the right to try to imagine anyone’s thoughts. Go count our typos, if you are so concerned, and you will see that we make just as many anywhere else, and it’s quite coincidental that a couple of the many occurred in her name. Mind your own business." (or something like that) You really didn’t appreciate CS’s input, I can see that.

In hindsight, no, I did not.  It seems that simple things are made so complicated by the way he turns things over and over, examining, and examining…..gotta find the angle….no trust…. Fwiw, I really don’t mind ppl imagining what I’m thinking. I’m generally intrigued by what ppl imagine. ) Afaik, it’s only when ppl assert their imaginings as -fact- about me that it becomes a boundary issue for me. Otherwise, imagine away …. it could lead to some very interesting insights! *g*

Now, with all that said, I am thinking about how CS works to create distance, yet, in some twisted way this time he seems to be trying to do the opposite….hmmm….gotta go think for awhile….. I was wondering if you noticed this and think it’s good that you did, mdove. )

Here’s the real clincher…..(hope it’s not too off-putting, cuz it certainly new around here.  I don’t even know if I can write such words without triggering and enraging him, but here goes…)  I’ve noticed that CS actually feels respect toward you, and kind of likes you.  I say "actually feels", because CS is a thinker, not a feeler. This is something new.  And "kind of likes" because he has never been known to like anyone.  It’s all kind of unusual….even more unusual that I am writing this with no internal interference.  I can’t explore this much more at the moment, as my RL child needs my attention. Perhaps more on this later. For CS, I want to commend you for dealing with a very difficult aspect re: relationships and the whole distance – closeness factor with others, a tough issue. Sierra of TN

Thank you.  Hope you are well.  I have  a 1/2 answered response to your Body relations post somewhere in my "respond to" folder, probably all moot by now. take care, m dove — For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail:

Response:

Hello mdove, I wouldn’t worry about it, mdove, typos happen all the time. Besides, I read typonese. *smiles* Thanks.  *I* realize that, but someone in here thinks we have to keep up the appearance of never making mistakes.

*nodding* And, in keeping with the promise I’ve made to myself to be as honest as I possibly can here, I am now going to try to explain what went into this original post:

Ok, listening…. We ( CS especially) have a terrible habit of trying to imagine what others might be thinking, and using that to stir things up within me and to maintain distance from others.  I have been trying very hard to break this "mind-reading" behavior, but because it has been so automatic for so long, we often backslide.

I understand what you’re saying. Can I ask if this well-developed ability offers you (or CS) anything positive? In a recent post to you, I had made a typo in your name, Sierra, and noticed that you had corrected it in your reply.  CS thinks, "Hmmm, that must have bothered her. You should have noticed that before you sent it." Later, in another post, I made a typo on "Mosaics", which was very prominantly displayed in the title.  When I saw that, CS got busy with, "You know,  she is going to think that you have some underlying issues, some ulterior motive, some Freudian slip-type thing going on if you don’t stop misspelling her names!"  Listening obediently, I thought, "Yes, I’d better fix this…", and thus came the ‘I keep making typos…" post.  

*nodding*  I see. So basically, this instance of mind-reading was more of the same. That aside … You guys sound like some of TN’s ppl. *grin*  And, my newsreader automatically initiates correcting grammar and spelling and I usually ‘ok’ adjustments in spelling without having actually gone over each individual word or phrase.   ) Now, in a stronger place, I know I should have said, "F*ck off, CS,   you don’t have the right to try to imagine anyone’s thoughts.  Go count our typos, if you are so concerned,  and you will see that we make just as many anywhere else, and it’s quite coincidental that a couple of the many occurred in her name.  Mind your own business."  (or something like that)

You really didn’t appreciate CS’s input, I can see that. Fwiw, I really don’t mind ppl imagining what I’m thinking. I’m generally intrigued by what ppl imagine.  :o)  Afaik, it’s only when ppl assert their imaginings as -fact- about me that it becomes a boundary issue for me. Otherwise, imagine away …. it could lead to some very interesting insights!  *g* Now, with all that said, I am thinking about how CS works to create distance, yet, in some twisted way this time he seems to be trying to do the opposite….hmmm….gotta go think for awhile…..

I was wondering if you noticed this and think it’s good that you did, mdove. ) For CS, I want to commend you for dealing with a very difficult aspect re: relationships and the whole distance – closeness factor with others, a tough issue. Sierra of TN

Response:

i dot his too.   just did it in another thread and caught it and made myself laugh.  i mean didnt catch it until after it got to asd and showed up at my newsreader. trilll

– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – and not catching them until i see the post on the news group.  how embarrassing….  i just want to get in there and edit before anyone sees.  yes, i do know how to spell, but i guess i don’t know how to proofread.  sorry, Sierra of TN….I’ve managed to misspell both Sierra and Mosaics in the past week.  guess that’s what happens when one tries to write in the wee hours of the morning. m. dove — For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail:

Response:

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