Question:
Rick, there was no way of getting around it ,you did your job and hoped for the best. I guess that is why I am still reading and on occassion writing to this good group. I hope you are well on tour way to recovery, take care, Stay Healthy, John De.
Response:
Hi John! > Nancy, a therapist to help you at 0100hrs.? This and a thousand more blessings > upon you.
Actually, I drove there and asked the VA cops for some help. When they saw my little purple V, they unlocked the door, one sat me down and watched (surreptitiously, he thought 
me until the therapist on-call (on the ward?) came to take me into a patient interview room. After the interview was half-way through the therapist found an excuse to call them and tell them not to worry At that point, I didn’t care how paranoid they had been behaving. >At my VA when you call in at any time of the day, the first thing you > hear is " if this is an emergency dial 911" May my ammo clip always be
empty. Amen to the ammo clip. My assessment is that, if I can drive halfway safely, it’s not a medical emergency and I have that little card. If nothing else, I do feel ’safe’ in a VA facility with the cops watching me … because they certainly are on alert for anything, including something which might harm me. And, in order to get rid of me as a responsibility, they WILL find someone to help them ASAP Anyway, except during normal business hours, I get a similar message from the CSR answering machine. When I learned that they will give me an emergency resupply without any recriminations ‘through the window’ of my psychiatric meds when I get anxiety about ordering them over the telephone and run out before the mail resupply arrives, I figured that with psychiatric patients they might view us as a ‘little strange’ and be more accomodating than usual (whatever that is) if I showed up in person. It worked. Try it if you need it. All you need to do is locate one VA cop with his little shoulder communicator Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
Nancy, sound advice, should I leave my AK47 at home or do I need special effects:) Take Care, Stay Healthy, if you ever hear from Mae T. say Hello John De
Response:
>Nancy, a therapist to help you at 0100hrs.? This and a thousand more >blessings >upon you.At my VA when you call in at any time of the day, the first thing >you >hear is "
Same here…..if it is an emergency, they say to call 911. I don’t know how Nancy found a VA Hospital that got her a therapist at 1:00 a.m. Best, Luanne
Response:
>It worked. Try it if you need it. All you need to do is locate one VA cop >with his little shoulder communicator
Gosh Nancy, all the VA cops ever did for me was WALK me out of the building, but that is when I went balistic after a VA Shrink told me that there was a ‘positive’ side to being gang-raped. (He felt that only good-looking women were raped and not ugly women!) I’ve come a long way since then….My meds are working well, and shock of shocks – I became engaged two weeks ago. I have a beautiful diamond. I’ll be moving to Florida in September!! Talk about coming a long way…..My boyfriend is a guy that grew up right across the street from me. He too, is a Veteran with a hearing disability. My head is STILL spinning!! Best, Luanne
Response:
LuanneP <luan…@aol.comelately> wrote in message
news:20000702152231.02042.00001672@ng-ch1.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> >It worked. Try it if you need it. All you need to do is locate one VA cop > >with his little shoulder communicator > Gosh Nancy, all the VA cops ever did for me was WALK me out of the building, > but that is when I went balistic after a VA Shrink told me that there was a > ‘positive’ side to being gang-raped. (He felt that only good-looking women > were raped and not ugly women!) > I’ve come a long way since then….My meds are working well, and shock of > shocks – I became engaged two weeks ago. I have a beautiful diamond. I’ll be > moving to Florida in September!! > Talk about coming a long way…..My boyfriend is a guy that grew up right > across the street from me. He too, is a Veteran with a hearing disability. > My head is STILL spinning!! > Best, > Luanne
** Congratulations Luanne! Helski
Response:
Congatulations on your engagement Luanne. I wish you and your partner all the best for your future together. All the best Mairtin
Response:
>Congatulations on your engagement Luanne. >I wish you and your partner all the best for your future together.
Thanks so much. Just goes to show that even the ‘worst’ PTSD ragers can have hope!! Bets, Luanne
Response:
Hi Luanne! > (He felt that only good-looking women > were raped and not ugly women!)
What garbage he tried to give you! Sounds like the VA of the 70s. :/ I’m glad you did not accept his opinion. > I’ve come a long way since then….My meds are working well, and shock of > shocks – I became engaged two weeks ago. I have a beautiful diamond. I’ll be > moving to Florida in September!!
That’s wonderful. Best wishes! Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
Luanne, may I wish you many happy years of joy and companionship and as the Irish would say " may the road come up to meet your feet, may the wind be always on your back and the sunshine on your face" Stay Healthy, John De Garay
Response:
>Luanne, may I wish you many happy years of joy and companionship and as the >Irish would say " may the road come up to meet your feet, may the wind be >always on your back and the sunshine on your face" Stay Healthy,
Thanks to Nancy, John, and all the fine people I have come to know on here. If it weren’t for many of you, I don’t think that I would have made the progress that I have as far as my PTSD goes. I’m trying hard to do better all the time. Best, Luanne
Response:
Congrats Luanne! With time good things do happen. Best of luck to you both. Odd Froggy "When you get to the end of your rope, Tie a knot and hang on." ———————————————————– Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
I feel that ping of anger too often as well. The thing is to find a way to control it. Regretfully I hate to say that I have yet to find a way. I used to be able to take critism but now everything looks and feels like a personnal attack. I get real defensive and blow up. The only time I seem to be ok is when NO ONE is there to provoke me or to question what I am doing. Then I have no triggers! But it’s hard to live where there are no triggers at all. I would have to live in a bubble. Yesterday some people came by to collect for Child Abuse. I almost bit their heads off thinking where the Hell were you when I was a kit and I was being abused by my uncle. F..k I got steamed! How dare they want money from me is what I thought but when I cooled down I felt rediculous. Geez I am glad that I am not at work still otherwise they would surely put me in a "Hug-Me-Jacket". Be well and know that you are not alone out there. Odd Froggy "When you get to the end of your rope, Tie a knot and hang on." Got questions? Get answers over the phone at Keen.com. Up to 100 minutes free! http://www.keen.com
Response:
I was very angry too. I was hurt in an industrial accident a few years ago. I finally couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to kill myself to get away from the problem. Instead I got some help. I found a great therapist, a doctor that is working with me with some meds. I go to church now, and meditate. I go to school to learn a new job, because the old one is just unacceptable. I learned that you can’t control things and you just have to get through this day. Sometimes I wonder if I could go back to work now, but I’m not ready to actually do it. (Working itself isn’t the problem, my old work environment is.) I finally realized that my thinking got so bad, and was so depressed that I didn’t recognize that it was so messed up. Once the depression lifted the anger did too. It had been so long since I had a good day I almost forgot what it was like. I learned to accept that I was afraid of the danger at work and it is okay. I learned that I have to enjoy the present moment, and not dwell on the past, and how I handled things. I did what I did and have to accept that. For me accepting it was the problem. Everyone told me that it was okay, but I didn’t believe it. I had a great amount of anxiety, because I felt that I shouldn’t be afraid, but I was. All that matters is that I am afraid. If I can go back, I will. If I can’t, I can’t. Learning about anger is important too. There is something called Rational Emotive Therapy. It basically says that anger is created when YOU think that OTHERS should act in one way and they act differently. Learning that anger is a natural response is important too. The whole chemical process that causes adrenaline to pump and FIGHT or FLEE is a natural response. Learning to put a step between the Stimulus and the anger is the problem. My therapist helped me with breathing, deep muscle relaxation, and finding a safe place. It is important not to say things to yourself that are counter productive, like I can’t do it. Two months ago, if you told me I would be where I am now I would have told you, You were nuts. Just keep trying and hang in there. John – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text –
Response:
Hi Robin! > Any suggestions for what to do when anger gets out of control?
Last week I was so angry that I truly was grateful I am 500 miles from the cause. If I’d been closer and had an AK-47 … All I can say is that if they can do it in CA and in TX, why not me in OH? :/ Anyway, once I figured out that my whole body was shaking and nothing was making any difference, I called my therapist and she talked me down! There have been several times in the past that my anger was so overwhelming I couldn’t fix it. Maybe you want to talk to your therapist about some strategy. If there is someone on call or someone at a local ER during off hours to talk to, this is a good plan. Luckily for me, in the VA system there is always a therapist either on-call nearby or actually in the ER during nights and weekends for me for these times. One night at about 1 a.m. four years ago I ended up there talking to a therapist and getting some help to get my body ‘talked down’ until my therapist was again available. IME when the rage and anger is evident in my body and I know that I am losing control completely, haveing a professional ‘talk me down’ is the only solution. I hope that YMMV. > something that was so insignificant it should > have rolled right off my back
Well, it did not. This is a standard symptom of a medical problem in PTSD. It’s OK to _not_ accept others shoulds. :/ That’s part of what got me to this ng … believing the ’shoulds’ and forcing myself to live by others’ shoulds. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
Nancy, a therapist to help you at 0100hrs.? This and a thousand more blessings upon you.At my VA when you call in at any time of the day, the first thing you hear is " if this is an emergency dial 911" May my ammo clip always be empty. John
Response:
Rick, I did two tours as an Inf.type combat medic, afterwards they decided to try to educate me and I somehow managed to complete a degree at Baylor U.and to enhance my career potential. I have no gripes with the military,RVN and all John
Response:
Well the time has come that my therapy is requiring me to gradually be exposed to the chemical (bleach) that caused my attack at work that led to this monster ride. Truthfully, I would like to give up and stay home…but I fought really hard to get this help and I know it is the only way that I will get past this thing. I just feel stupid having panic attacks and flashbacks just knowing that there was bleach in the room (i didn’t even smell it….just held the jar last week). My anger is getting worse. I have never been an angry person…one of those that I kind of blow up and it is over, but when I got mad the other night, I couldn’t find an outlet for the anger and for the first time felt this urge to hurt myself or someone else….I just went and got out our gun, fired a round at the barn and it helped, then I went to soak in the tub for a bit. I don’t have the ammo to use that as a release for anger….and I really don’t feel like I can ‘pull myself out of it’ with my relaxation techniuques like deep breathing or imagery. Any suggestions for what to do when anger gets out of control? I know anger is part of the whole healing process, but it was misplaced and I felt like blowing up over something that was so insignificant it should have rolled right off my back. Just an insensitive comment made by a friend…so why all of a sudden am I getting so angry that I want to bust my hand open on the wall? I don’t know what else I would have done to hurt myself, I don’t believe that I would do serious damage to myself, but I sure don’t want to find out. Any suggestions would be appreciated! Robin/CItolu
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