Question:
>Gee, I guess this may be part of the PTSD multitude of symptoms: worry for >physical survival!
my biggest worry is that i’ll survive =)
Response:
> I had to laugh when I read this, NOT because it was funny, but because I do > a lot of this type of thinking. If I have a cough, well, it must be lung > cancer. If I have an ovary acting up, ovarian cancer.
Kat– Thank you a million times over! I work on much the same system. Mine is less about suicide than it is ‘if something is really (physically) wrong then I have a legitimate problem’. I don’t know if that makes sense. I have felt terrible for that last week and finally went in desperation to my dr. for blood test. Hoped against hope he would find something, anything wrong, so it would be okay for me to feel this bad. No such luck. The tests were all perfectly normal. Hard to know when to pursue pain and sickness when there is no way to tell what is physical and what is all in my head. Hearing you all talk about these feelings and symptoms helps me feel less crazy. Thank you. Lucy
Response:
"BaliKris" <balik…@aol.comzipspam> wrote in message
news:20020404032636.11110.00001980@mb-ca.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Yes, I think I have to call myself an internal hypochondriac. I say "internal" > because it runs through my head, all the stuff that COULD be wrong or happen. > Worst times are when I’m in a stage of bad avoidance and anxiety and I think > every car out there will hit me, everyone will accidentally knock me over, etc. > That kind of fear is rarer for me than the first kind. > Gee, I guess this may be part of the PTSD multitude of symptoms: worry for > physical survival! > Seems like it would fit with the other anxieties in this PTSD anxiety disorder > rollercoaster. > I hate PTSD. > Kristine
I find myself always wanting to be "prepared" for what is going to happen so when it does I’ll know what’s happening. It’s like always wanting to be ready for whatever bad is going to happen next. Mary
Response:
I had to laugh when I read this, NOT because it was funny, but because I do a lot of this type of thinking. If I have a cough, well, it must be lung cancer. If I have an ovary acting up, ovarian cancer. Part of me thinks it’s because of the suicidal tendencies, because oddly enough, the thought of having something awful is a tremendous relief. Like, shew, when I die, all this pain will be over, come on, hurry UP. An "escape route" if you will. The other thing I’ve noticed is the more flashbacks I’m experiencing, the more emotional turmoil, stress, the more I use it this type of thinking to distract myself from the REAL issues at hand. If I’m convinced I’ve got ovarian cancer and dying, what the hell, then I don’t have to look at what’s really bothering me. Whether its flashbacks, feeling emotions that I’m not comfortable with (which covers most emotions), feeling unsafe, paranoid, whatever. For me, it’s an escape mechanism, kind of twisted, sure, but still, an escape mechanism. Distraction technique. kat "pavanne" <anon-13…@anon.twwells.com> wrote in message
news:a8g5ub$2em4$1@server.twwells.com… > x-no-archive: yes > I was rummaging through the first-aid kit at work to dig out four aspirin
(I had a BIG headache). I grabbed them, then the thought leaped into my mind: > "What if I get in a bad car accident on the way home, and I die because my
blood won’t coagulate well due to the aspirin?" – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Anyone else ever catch themselves thinking stuff like that? > PTSD is hell. > pavanne > — > For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail: > h…@anon.twwells.com — for an automatically returned help message > ad…@anon.twwells.com – for the service’s administrator > ano…@anon.twwells.com — anonymous mail to the administrator
Response:
>I find myself always wanting to be "prepared" for what is going to happen so
when it does I’ll know what’s happening. It’s like always wanting to be ready for whatever bad is going to happen next.> This is a great summary of the PTSD hypervigilance and avoidance that goes with it. I’m big on avoidance when it comes to things because then bad stuff can’t happen. Not avoidance of stuff like reality (bills paid, etc.) but avoiding extra stuff that may complicate life or take away precious energy (like building friendships =( Kristine
Response:
"Kathie" <kathi…@frontiernet.net> wrote in message
news:uap90ul05ook3d@corp.supernews.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> I had to laugh when I read this, NOT because it was funny, but because I do > a lot of this type of thinking. If I have a cough, well, it must be lung > cancer. If I have an ovary acting up, ovarian cancer. > Part of me thinks it’s because of the suicidal tendencies, because oddly > enough, the thought of having something awful is a tremendous relief. Like, > shew, when I die, all this pain will be over, come on, hurry UP. An "escape > route" if you will. > The other thing I’ve noticed is the more flashbacks I’m experiencing, the > more emotional turmoil, stress, the more I use it this type of thinking to > distract myself from the REAL issues at hand. If I’m convinced I’ve got > ovarian cancer and dying, what the hell, then I don’t have to look at what’s > really bothering me. Whether its flashbacks, feeling emotions that I’m not > comfortable with (which covers most emotions), feeling unsafe, paranoid, > whatever. For me, it’s an escape mechanism, kind of twisted, sure, but > still, an escape mechanism. Distraction technique. > kat
I guess I’d have to say I’m more like kat than the others. I seldom ‘fear’ getting something myself. I’ve thought about all this and come to the conclusion that I’ve always looked on death as a relief, an escape……I wouldn’t have to live in this world, in this pain, anymore. Now I do worry about my husband, kids, dogs………that stuff just stresses me to the max……..but I don’t worry about me. When I had surgery last year I didn’t give it a second thought as to ‘what might happen’ or ‘what might be found’ during the operation. I know some people are terrified of anesthesia…….I welcome it, can’t wait for them to put the needle in my arm and then suck that stuff in deeply when they cover your face with the mask. I don’t worry about not waking up again from the surgery……..I was a bit concerned about the pain from the incision as I’d never had such a large one before…….but death didn’t cross my mind. I guess I’m really strange in that respect. td – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> "pavanne" <anon-13…@anon.twwells.com> wrote in message > news:a8g5ub$2em4$1@server.twwells.com… > > x-no-archive: yes > > I was rummaging through the first-aid kit at work to dig out four aspirin > (I had a BIG headache). I grabbed them, then the thought leaped into my > mind: > > "What if I get in a bad car accident on the way home, and I die because my > blood won’t coagulate well due to the aspirin?" > > Anyone else ever catch themselves thinking stuff like that? > > PTSD is hell. > > pavanne > > — > > For info about this service, see http://anon.twwells.com/help/ or e-mail: > > h…@anon.twwells.com — for an automatically returned help message > > ad…@anon.twwells.com – for the service’s administrator > > ano…@anon.twwells.com — anonymous mail to the administrator
Response:
Oh yes everyday!! My hypervigilance and agitation are often on full tilt especially lately. At work and driving out in shopping centres…all triggers. PTSD sucks. helski
Response:
Hello, And yeah, I have this kind of thinking periodically. An example of my thinking would go something like this—I have a headache and I begin to wonder if it will turn into an aneurism. The more I think about the worse my headache gets. So, yep, I do have thought like that and I have noticed a pattern lately with me. It seems like when I am ‘not in a good place and triggered’ is when the irratic thinking goes into overtime. Thanks for bringing that up because I have often wondered if other people think the same way. jeannie
Response:
"pavanne" <anon-13…@anon.twwells.com> wrote in message
news:a8g5ub$2em4$1@server.twwells.com… > x-no-archive: yes > I was rummaging through the first-aid kit at work to dig out four aspirin
(I had a BIG headache). I grabbed them, then the thought leaped into my mind: > "What if I get in a bad car accident on the way home, and I die because my
blood won’t coagulate well due to the aspirin?" > Anyone else ever catch themselves thinking stuff like that? > pavanne
Yes. I often think that when I drink Alka Selzer with asprin but then I think…but if I don’t I’ll have a massive stroke.
Response:
Yes, I think I have to call myself an internal hypochondriac. I say "internal" because it runs through my head, all the stuff that COULD be wrong or happen. Worst times are when I’m in a stage of bad avoidance and anxiety and I think every car out there will hit me, everyone will accidentally knock me over, etc. That kind of fear is rarer for me than the first kind. Gee, I guess this may be part of the PTSD multitude of symptoms: worry for physical survival! Seems like it would fit with the other anxieties in this PTSD anxiety disorder rollercoaster. I hate PTSD. Kristine
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