Question:
Hi Barbara :) Barbara and Greg Cook wrote: > I am really trying hard to return to work slowly but I’ve had a hell of a > day. Some may know my history but not my background. > I have just attended two days re-orientation back to my workplace after 9 > months away, or 12 months after being assaulted at work.
wow…. it’s brave of you to return there. I have been out of work 7 months, and I still can’t quite imagine going back, though I think about it often. Going back to the place where your trauma occurred must make it all the more difficult. > I have always prided myself in how good I am at my work, how good I am with > clients and co-workers so it was a hell of a shock when I failed/froze doing > simple drug calculations necessary for my work.
I have trouble focusing my attention sometimes, and the simplest thing is impossible. I find it so frustrating! > I feel useless incompetent and most of all a danger to those I am supposed > to care for. Ever heard of a Registered Nurse/midwife/ Intensive care > certificated nurse not able to do simple drug calculations. I froze then > panicked then burst into tears. I wanted to run. The orientation staff know > nothing about me and why I requested re-orientation so don’t know about PTSD > and me.
It’s awful to feel that way. Would it help you if someone there knew and could back you up or otherwise support you in such situations, like a safety net of sorts? > When, if ever will I recover? What have I lost or expect to find out next? > Is there any hope or should I give up now? I’ve already dropt out of Uni > external student due to poor memory & concentration problems!
Barb, these are decisions only you can make :/ All I can tell you is that there will be more days like this… and there are likely to be much better ones too. I hope you are being good to yourself. How did today go? take care, Renee It’s not how many times you fall down, it’s how many times you get up that matters
Response:
I am really trying hard to return to work slowly but I’ve had a hell of a day. Some may know my history but not my background. I have just attended two days re-orientation back to my workplace after 9 months away, or 12 months after being assaulted at work. I have always prided myself in how good I am at my work, how good I am with clients and co-workers so it was a hell of a shock when I failed/froze doing simple drug calculations necessary for my work. I feel useless incompetent and most of all a danger to those I am supposed to care for. Ever heard of a Registered Nurse/midwife/ Intensive care certificated nurse not able to do simple drug calculations. I froze then panicked then burst into tears. I wanted to run. The orientation staff know nothing about me and why I requested re-orientation so don’t know about PTSD and me. When, if ever will I recover? What have I lost or expect to find out next? Is there any hope or should I give up now? I’ve already dropt out of Uni external student due to poor memory & concentration problems! Barb — Barbara and Greg Cook
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.