Question:
Hi JEANNIE! > realize i am now hooked on pain meds-nothing new, i figured this one out > before the surgery. pissed at myself on that one. lortabs 7.5 if anyone has > any knowledge about these meds and how to get off them.
snip > really beating self up after getting hooked on pills, i mean hell i had 6 years > sober in aa may 18th of this year.
I tend to disagree with your assessment of your situation. I know that I have an addictive personality and, about ten years ago, after invasive surgery, I ended up on percodan for almost 3 months. I was really worried about taking so much, but it was the only thing that would control the pain. When I talked to the doc about my concerns about addiction, she told me that so long as I was in pain it was important that I take the narcotics; as soon as the pain went away it was important that I immediately stop taking the narcotics. One day, I stood up suddenly and felt a really BIG pain. Then, the pain seemed to diminish. I took another percodan and suddenly felt, for the first time, that I had taken a ‘hit’. Instead of reducing the pain, I was in lala land. The big pain was from the stitches, which had become entangled with a nerve, finally resorbing and releasing the nerve. It turned out that I was about 7 days from exploratory surgery to find out what had gone wrong the first time. Anyway, the point of my story is that I have been on pain meds, such as vicodin, since, and learned that so long as I am not getting a ‘hit’, the meds are doing their job … helping reduce the pain so that I heal faster. It is up to me to make certain that as soon as I feel the first ‘hit’ I immediately go off the vicodin, percodan, percoset, Tylenol3 or darvocet or whatever narcotic I am on. The extras either get flushed down the toilet or saved for the next painful event, usually dental lately. Thus, IME and IMO, so long as you are in pain and the narcotic is doing its job of controlling the pain, you still have your sober time. OTOH, if you continue narcotics beyond the pain you might want to talk to your sponsor. :/ Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
"JEANNIELAMONT" <jeannielam…@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20021002224434.04148.00008960@mb-cf.aol.com… > hello eveyone, > i want to say how much i appreciate all the encouraging posts,plus the prayers > that have been put out for me over the past couple weeks. > just talked with my therapist earlier and found out i am going through > depression amongst other sh# t. > realize i am now hooked on pain meds-nothing new, i figured this one out > before the surgery. pissed at myself on that one. lortabs 7.5 if anyone has > any knowledge about these meds and how to get off them.
Opioid medication can cause depression, all by itself. Depression could be one of the side effects, like constipation. You’re not addicted to them if you still have some pain after you take them. A mild, but transient, head-buzz is not evidence of addiction. Taking pills off-schedule (early), or ‘needing’ one when you’re not in pain, is a worrisome sign. You didn’t give enough info. The safest way to cut your dose is to substitute down to codeine from what you’re taking now (pain permitting). Tylenol 3 down to t-2 to t-1. > got a bill from school and just got that one straightened out when today i got > mail saying i wouldn’t get my pell grant and loan for next semester.
(january) One thing at a time. ‘Kay? > but just didn’t feel like dealing with it all today, so i laid on couch, had a > good cry and covered my head up and slept.
Good. You obviously needed to do that. > after talking to therapist he said nearly all people who go through an invasive > surgery have depression afterwards.
Anaesthetics and pain meds both cause depression. So does pain itself. > i looked in the mirror today and saw the scar and it all seemed so surreal. > really beating self up after getting hooked on pills, i mean hell i had 6 years > sober in aa may 18th of this year.
Unless you’re drinking, you’re still sober. There is an excellent pamphlet about prescription meds/illness available from AA. See if your sponsor can get it for you. So long as you’re taking your meds as prescribed, or because you need them for pain, you are still sober. BTW, May 18 is my dry date too. Happy birthday. > 16 year old is heading down wrong path and hanging out with wrong crowd. i > have tried to talk with him about this but it leads nowhere and then i recall > when i was his age and my mother talking to me about the very same > thing,………….. > good news is, he is in therapy and seems to relate well with therapist so maybe > they can work it out.
He needs to learn why it matters. You’ve helped him by giving him the opportunity to dicsuss it all with a therapist. > hate not being able to drive or ride, not being able to bend, lift anything > over 5 pounds,……………….
That’s all temporary. This too shall pass. > right now i just feel like there is so much happening and i dont want to deal > with it.
So, don’t. Rest. Get well. Deal when you’re ready. You can’t do it faster than that. > my therapist said to get a goods night rest and with the pain meds, he said for > right now i am in a no win situation until i am completely out of pain.
Don’t rush the calendar, sweetie. It’ll change soon enough. > he said that to remember the invasive surgery is likely to set off triggers and > my ptsd will flare up if that happens, but this depression is somehting new to > me. > i am one who goes to the other extreme with very high anxiety.
You’ve been through a difficult procedure. It’s quite normal to feel the way you do. > anyhows, he said he could call tommorrow and we could talk more then, he said > in the meantime for me NOT to beat myself up (he knows this is an automatic > response). kinda hard not to do that, but i am conscious of it so i have tried > to stop myself.
You know what I do when the ‘critical chorus’ gets going in my head? I yell "Shut up!", or "F___ off!" Gets a few weird looks if I forget about where I am, and do it in public. Heh. heh. I’m the Chairman of the ‘Committee in my Head’, and sometimes I just have to get all the voices to shut up. > anyways, right now i am going to take my muscle relaxer and hit the sack. and > pray tommorrow will be better. > take care. > jeannie
Take care of yourself, Jeannie. Take the rest that everyone else knows you need to heal yourself. You’ll be back, stronger than ever, soon enough. Hugs, Lar
Response:
Hi Jeannie, I am deeply moved by your clarity at such a difficult time. You are strong (at least in my eyes). There’s been a lot of really useful feedback here on the subject of depression following surgery. I will continue to pray for you, Jeannie, throughout this challenging time period. BTW, I am glad that your son has a good therapist. That’s an incredible positive. My 17 yr old (in NYC) has a very good shrink who specializes in adolescent males. Even when my son and I don’t see eye to eye or communicate as well as I’d like, just knowing that he has a good outside support system makes things a lot easier to bear. He has different friends since he’s been with this shrink for the past year. He still sees his other friends from time to time, but the new ones are more a part of his daily life. Big plus. (Because I only see my kid when I fly out to NYC every 6 weeks, I can see the changes more dramatically than if I were there every day). A big gentle hug to you from Anne on the prairie
Response:
Jeannie, It will get better, but it will take awhile. That’s not your FAULT though, okay? There’s no blame involved when it comes to physiological changes such as anesthesia after-effects, pain medication need/dependence (NOT addiction – there is a difference ya know =), physical pain, post-op depression, limitations in what you can do, unhappy with what you feel isn’t "right" in your life, etc etc. All of those are so normal and even though its not the norm for you, being more of an anxiety-rider than a depressive sort, it still does happen. I’ve had two major surgeries in the past three years and I’m having another one this month. This post of yours reminds me of what is ahead and also caused me to want to encourage you. Its hard to not beat up when you were beat up, its one of those damned tapes that THEY left there and the best way to get back at THEM is to refuse to listen to the tape, right? I hope this is encouraging, I really do, Kristine
Response:
Hi Kristine, >All of those are so normal and even though its >not the norm for you, being more of an anxiety-rider than a depressive sort, >it >still does happen.
Yes, sad to say it does, but today I am trying something different. Actually I wasn’t really trying, it just happened. I am noticing things about myself that I never noticed before. Such as breathing_ I was lying on couch and took a deep breath and thought how good that felt then realized that deep breathing is something I rarely do. I mean, I had to make myself lay there and do some deep breathing (like I am right now) for a while. I just can’t get over how good it feels. >I’ve had two major surgeries in the past three years and I’m >having another one this month.
What kind of surgery are you having? >Its hard to not beat up when you >were beat up, its one of those damned tapes that THEY left there and the best >way to get back at THEM is to refuse to listen to the tape, right? I hope >this >is encouraging, I really do, Kristine
Right again, The messages are from the past and I have to constantly remind myself of that when I can remember. Your post is encouraging and I hope you the best after your surgery. I really do. Now, that I am on this end of the deal, after I heal I would like to help others who are in my shape. Best wishes to you with surgery and when are you scheduled to have it? Take care, Jeannie
Response:
hello eveyone, i want to say how much i appreciate all the encouraging posts,plus the prayers that have been put out for me over the past couple weeks. just talked with my therapist earlier and found out i am going through depression amongst other sh# t. realize i am now hooked on pain meds-nothing new, i figured this one out before the surgery. pissed at myself on that one. lortabs 7.5 if anyone has any knowledge about these meds and how to get off them. got a bill from school and just got that one straightened out when today i got mail saying i wouldn’t get my pell grant and loan for next semester. (january) but just didn’t feel like dealing with it all today, so i laid on couch, had a good cry and covered my head up and slept. after talking to therapist he said nearly all people who go through an invasive surgery have depression afterwards. i looked in the mirror today and saw the scar and it all seemed so surreal. really beating self up after getting hooked on pills, i mean hell i had 6 years sober in aa may 18th of this year. 16 year old is heading down wrong path and hanging out with wrong crowd. i have tried to talk with him about this but it leads nowhere and then i recall when i was his age and my mother talking to me about the very same thing,………….. good news is, he is in therapy and seems to relate well with therapist so maybe they can work it out. hate not being able to drive or ride, not being able to bend, lift anything over 5 pounds,………………. right now i just feel like there is so much happening and i dont want to deal with it. my therapist said to get a goods night rest and with the pain meds, he said for right now i am in a no win situation until i am completely out of pain. he said that to remember the invasive surgery is likely to set off triggers and my ptsd will flare up if that happens, but this depression is somehting new to me. i am one who goes to the other extreme with very high anxiety. anyhows, he said he could call tommorrow and we could talk more then, he said in the meantime for me NOT to beat myself up (he knows this is an automatic response). kinda hard not to do that, but i am conscious of it so i have tried to stop myself. anyways, right now i am going to take my muscle relaxer and hit the sack. and pray tommorrow will be better. take care. jeannie
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