Question:
I experienced an abreaction or body memory or feelback as termed by one counselor. It was in relation to an event that happened several years ago, although it (the feelback) wasn’t the result of anything but stress being felt by me as a result of another’s feelings that I sensed. That other person was a slight acquaintence/stranger as was the person who instigated the motor vehicle accident (the original event, years ago) which was the original trigger of my intense emotional reaction which happened at the time of the accident. I was wondering if these feelbacks happen several years later AND if they may be brought on by unanticipated stressors from people with whom you have no previous relationship but maybe slight acquaintance. The parallel I believe is that emotion was exchanged between me and a stranger on the road (although the other driver was drunk) and me and a slight acquaintance elsewhere and I did not expect the reaction of either person in either case. Does any of this make sense to those in this ngroup? Jeff
Response:
Elsie, What does IMHO mean? And, what is the source or cause of your PTSD? Again, I was in a car accident with fatality involved. Drunk driver. I ask because you have replied in the past with good input. Thanks. It’s hard to talk about sometimes. I’ve read about the PTSD and how it involves things out of the range of normal human experience. Odd indeed. What I described led me down a path of depression and pain. Thankfully it wasn’t the worst of my depressions as I have been diagnosed to have clinical depression in the past. Jeff – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -OtherPaths wrote: > x-no-archive: yes > Hi Jeff, > I’ve had it happen quite a bit. IMHO it’s due to the survival > mechanism…anything that looks like the "tiger" is the tiger. It’s the > hypervigilance…without thinking about it, my eyes and ears scan the horizon > looking for anything that resembles the trauma – as a defense mechanism. > For me, sometimes subtle cues can set me off — the shape of someone’s face, a > certain sound frequency. At my worst, I often get my fight/flight reaction and > some physical sensation of the trauma with the slighest provacation…like > seeing some fast movement in a crowd. > It’s hard not to feel very confused by it all and doubt your sanity. It helped > me once I started recognizing that it was an automatic reaction of my brain and > body. I have learned when it happens, I need to just slow down and stand still > until the adrenaline rush subsides. > Take care, > Elsie
Response:
Yes, the clinical depression was extremely hard for me to deal with too. I never before imagined that something like it was possible. In my recent episode I was asked by some (even a psych.) why I didn’t do anything more to alleviate the situation between me and this other. Ties into the "letting bad things happen to you" thing I think. Jeff – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -OtherPaths wrote: > x-no-archive: yes > Hi Jeff, you wrote: > >What does IMHO mean? And, what is the source or cause of your PTSD? Again, > >I was in a car accident with fatality involved. Drunk driver. I ask because > >you > >have replied in the past with good input. Thanks. It’s hard to talk about > >sometimes. I’ve read about the PTSD and how it involves things out of the > >range of normal human experience. Odd indeed. What I described led me > >down a path of depression and pain. Thankfully it wasn’t the worst of my > >depressions as I have been diagnosed to have clinical depression in the past.> > I’m sorry to hear about your experience. It must have been awful. > IMHO means in my humble opinion. We often have to recognize that each person > has different experiences, belief systems, and resources, so I use that as a > way to say — this is what I think — but find what makes sense to you. It > helped me in my recovery to label or name the symptom, so it wasn’t so vague, > and I could understand it better. > But beyond the individual reactions to trauma, there are commonalities in how > the human brain reacts to trauma, and how society treats the traumatized. > I have complex PTSD stemming from being a child of a severely mentally ill > primary caretaker. I was not diagnosed until 1995, when the symptoms got severe > enough to land me in the ER. Before that, I thought everybody had flashbacks, > depersonalization, derealization, and all the other things. Personally, the > clinical depression was harder to deal with in many ways. Not only did it > incapacitate me, the grief was nearly unbearable. I think part of the reason > was that there was so much isolation in the grief — it was such an individual > loss — without the chance to mourn in a group, or get support from people. I > think individual traumas have an extra burden due to this social isolation. > Not to mention all the judgements we receive from "allowing" "bad" things to > happen to us. It is the epitome of having our humanity stripped away. For me, > working on the roots of my shame was very hard work, pretty much having to > rebuild my belief systems and ways of coping. Not an easy journey. > Hope this helps — take good care of yourself. It takes a lot of courage to > speak about — but I think it’s necessary to heal. > Elsie
Response:
Yes, hard work indeed. I definitely relate to what you’re saying. Not even the Chairman of the CE Dept. at my school can relate to this stuff….not many people can….very unique stuff, here. Best Wishes, Jeff – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -OtherPaths wrote: > x-no-archive: yes > Hi Jeff, > Have you ever heard the term "secondary wounding"? The book by "I Can’t Get > Over it." (recently menitioned on this ng) discusses what this is — and has a > chapter that specifically deals with processing accidents. > It’s hard not to feel like we are constantly on trial, defending our actions or > inactions. Personally, I feel that many people will "blame the victim" as a way > to alleviate their own anxiety that the same thing could happen to them. > In my own experience in traumatic situations, it seems like time expands so > that it’s almost like slow-motion, our awareness is heightened, perhaps giving > the person the sense that they have much more control than they really do. It > would be difficult to not analyze things, frame-by-frame, as if every detail > leading up to the accident helped in some way create it. > The internal turmoil can be overwhelming. > Separating the physical versus the emotional or cognitive reactions is hard > work. > Take care, > Elsie
Response:
Hi Jeff! > Yes, hard work indeed. I definitely relate to what you’re saying. > Not even the Chairman of the CE Dept. at my school can relate > to this stuff….not many people can….very unique stuff, here.
This made me grin. I’ve spent most of my life around folks who are engineers by profession, ChE, not CE, but similar mind-sets. For some odd reason, the comparative blacks and whites in Engineering and Accounting made life more understandable, and sometimes just more bearable, for me. What I’ve found is that PTSD is much more understandable to folks who are artsy-fartsy, aka they use the other side of their brain much more often than an engineer does. :/ I’m sorry, I still cannot remember if engineers are right-brained or left=brained, but artists use the other side pf the brain more than I do. Smile and there will be something to smile about! Nancy
Response:
Cool, kipco. That’s something to "smile about." Jeff – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -ki…@cris.com wrote: > Hi Jeff! > > Yes, hard work indeed. I definitely relate to what you’re saying. > > Not even the Chairman of the CE Dept. at my school can relate > > to this stuff….not many people can….very unique stuff, here. > This made me grin. I’ve spent most of my life around folks who are engineers by > profession, ChE, not CE, but similar mind-sets. For some odd reason, the > comparative blacks and whites in Engineering and Accounting made life more > understandable, and sometimes just more bearable, for me. > What I’ve found is that PTSD is much more understandable to folks who are > artsy-fartsy, aka they use the other side of their brain much more often than an > engineer does. :/ > I’m sorry, I still cannot remember if engineers are right-brained or > left=brained, but artists use the other side pf the brain more than I do. > Smile and there will be something to smile about! > Nancy
Response:
That’s nothing to smile about and I hope that noone is prejudged concerning their worthiness or capability as a future spouse because of ptsd. It is disturbing…..having been a victim you are ostracized by some. This is a hot topic for me since I am single. Do these medical people then believe there is no cure for ptsd? Interesting reading, though. I guess you refer to those who had this conversation as the "total screw ups"? Jeff – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Lea15 wrote: > >What I’ve found is that PTSD is much more understandable to folks who are > >artsy-fartsy, > it’s a shame most of the people who treat us (well do the meds part anyway) > don’t even seem to know they have two sides of their brains. doing a month of > peds inpatient this month and had a very interesting/disturbing conversation > with my attendings and residents the other day. went along the lines of "when > i was in medical school, we all sat around and made up a list of diagnoses that > our future spouses absolutely couldn’t have." guess which was #1 on the list? > yeah. ptsd. why? (i had to ask). b/c it is one of those psychosomatic > illnesses that is debilitating (without a clear cause of course), takes over > and is one of those "psych things" you know. yes, i work with total screw ups.
Response:
>What I’ve found is that PTSD is much more understandable to folks who are >artsy-fartsy,
it’s a shame most of the people who treat us (well do the meds part anyway) don’t even seem to know they have two sides of their brains. doing a month of peds inpatient this month and had a very interesting/disturbing conversation with my attendings and residents the other day. went along the lines of "when i was in medical school, we all sat around and made up a list of diagnoses that our future spouses absolutely couldn’t have." guess which was #1 on the list? yeah. ptsd. why? (i had to ask). b/c it is one of those psychosomatic illnesses that is debilitating (without a clear cause of course), takes over and is one of those "psych things" you know. yes, i work with total screw ups.
Response:
i agree that there was nothing funny about the conversation. i can’t even begin to tell you how angry i was just listening to them ramble on about things they had no experience with and plenty of prejudices about. yes, they do believe that ptsd is not curable. it’s a life sentence according to them and why bother marrying someone that you are going to have to support b/c he/she is an emotional mess all the time? (yes, i asked b/c i wanted to know why they would never marry someone with the diagnosis). i don’t agree with them and ended up leaving that conversation very quickly after that. i wanted so much to let them know that they had been working with someone who has ptsd for almost a month and it didn’t seem to affect how they looked at me. to them, i was one of them. the whole conversation came up in the context of a patient who was a vet, had ptsd from her experiences in the persian gulf and also had multiple other syndromes/disease, etc. was frequenting the er for demerol for her migraines. when i went to see her, she was not in a good spot at all. i talked to her for over an hour-just about life, what she was going through-flashbacks. hooked her up with someone in the community who deals very well with issues like ptsd, etc. and then got chewed out for wasting my time, etc. etc and that’s when the conversation took place. no, i don’t agree with any of it and it really pisses me off. doubly so b/c my "fiance" left almost two years ago b/c he couldn’t deal anymore-thinking i will never get any better than i am and he was tired of waiting for me to get better. my tongue has two permanent grooves in it from where i spend most of my day biting it to keep from telling my colleague what i think of them and their compassion.
Response:
Lea15 – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> it’s a shame most of the people who treat us (well do the meds part anyway) > don’t even seem to know they have two sides of their brains. doing a month of > peds inpatient this month and had a very interesting/disturbing conversation > with my attendings and residents the other day. went along the lines of "when > i was in medical school, we all sat around and made up a list of diagnoses that > our future spouses absolutely couldn’t have." guess which was #1 on the list? > yeah. ptsd. why? (i had to ask). b/c it is one of those psychosomatic > illnesses that is debilitating (without a clear cause of course), takes over > and is one of those "psych things" you know. yes, i work with total screw
ups. Too good an opportunity to pass up I’d say (evil laugh). Just imagine th elooks on their faces if you had said "Guess who you work with guys?!" Giggle G
Response:
true. i’ll have to do that–after they turn in my grade
Response:
Amen to that…. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -helski wrote: > Mae Tang, > Last I looked it appeared to be a two way thing also.! > It is hard ,however, to compete with arrogance and other people’s > prejudices. > I myself will always remain a patron for"works both ways" thing. > With thanx Helski > <maet…@nospam.demon.co.uk> wrote in message > news:s8hlbs4e2e6m7dt4nl92ucf33uleg0hrac@4ax.com… > > x-no-archive: yes > > On 27 Feb 2000 22:46:44 GMT, le…@aol.com (Lea15) wrote: > > >begin to tell you how angry i was just listening to them ramble on about > things > > >they had no experience with and plenty of prejudices about. yes, they do > > >believe that ptsd is not curable. it’s a life sentence according to them > and > > >why bother marrying someone that you are going to have to support b/c > he/she is > > >an emotional mess all the time? > > Last time I checked, love was a big component for > > many people when deciding to get married. I think > > that those people you overheard with the bad > > attitude, should probably ask themselves if they > > would come across as very lovable themselves, > > showing such a lack of compassion and > > understanding… ;^) > > I would rather spend time with a person with PTSD > > who still has a sense of humour and compassion, > > than spend time with people who would be so > > stingy about doling out fellow feeling and goodwill. > > Basically, this whole "who do you want to spend > > your life with" thing works both ways, doesn’t it? ;^) > > Mae Tang > > (replace "nospam" with "nu-it" for a valid e-mail address)
Response:
Mae Tang, Last I looked it appeared to be a two way thing also.! It is hard ,however, to compete with arrogance and other people’s prejudices. I myself will always remain a patron for"works both ways" thing. With thanx Helski <maet…@nospam.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:s8hlbs4e2e6m7dt4nl92ucf33uleg0hrac@4ax.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> x-no-archive: yes > On 27 Feb 2000 22:46:44 GMT, le…@aol.com (Lea15) wrote: > >begin to tell you how angry i was just listening to them ramble on about things > >they had no experience with and plenty of prejudices about. yes, they do > >believe that ptsd is not curable. it’s a life sentence according to them and > >why bother marrying someone that you are going to have to support b/c he/she is > >an emotional mess all the time? > Last time I checked, love was a big component for > many people when deciding to get married. I think > that those people you overheard with the bad > attitude, should probably ask themselves if they > would come across as very lovable themselves, > showing such a lack of compassion and > understanding… ;^) > I would rather spend time with a person with PTSD > who still has a sense of humour and compassion, > than spend time with people who would be so > stingy about doling out fellow feeling and goodwill. > Basically, this whole "who do you want to spend > your life with" thing works both ways, doesn’t it? ;^) > Mae Tang > (replace "nospam" with "nu-it" for a valid e-mail address)
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