Question:
hi daria, polly wog
I am now 34. I had a very strange childhood, which caused me a lot of scars, and transformed me completely. I do not have any brothers or sisters. My mother is 66, and my father is 87. Although, unlike many American children, I was never sexually abused, my childhood was not a happy one. Both of my parents expected academic perfection on my part. I was quite unable to achive that They made me study 12 hours a day. For some strange reason (some phobia?), now I can’t work three hours a day. Recently, I was working less then one hour a day. Naturally, I have to live with my parents. My mother used to whip me with a belt about 1-2 times a month. These beatings were VERY VERY painful. My father used to beat me 3-4 times a month, but not nearly as severe. By far the MOST painful abuse I xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx suffered was my father’s mental abuse. One thing, I can remember very well, was the fact, that he used to punish me whenever I got a "B" in my 3-rd, 4-th, and 5-th grades. In 1977, when I was 12, the physical abuse stopped. Over the next 10 years, the emotional abuse has decreased almost to zero. For a very long time after 1977, I felt TERRIBLY guilty, whenever I did anything to displease my parents. Nevertheless, my rebellious spirit told me exactly to make them angry. That caused me TERRIBLE amounts of mental pain. Naturally, this amount of strain cauased me to feel severe depression, and anxiety. From the time I was 18, I started getting in troube with the law, but I was never imprisoned. Before I was 28, I had several boyfriends. Somehow, I projected a lot of my anger toward my father onto them. I did hit them at times, and for that reason I had two talks with police officers, but they did not have any injuries. Most of my conversations with police were about marijuana, which I have stopped xxxxxxxxxxxxx using, when I was 28. When I was 30, I also stopped smoking tobacoo, and picked up a hobby of writing horror stories. At 32, after I dropped all my bad habits, I became a Catholic. My depression also caused me to be posessed by hatred (before I was 32). I hated nearly every teacher, I had at school. Some years of my life, I hated men. Some years I hated senior citizens. Often, I hated particular people. These hatreds caused me to make lots and lots of enemies. I also used to have a lot of anxieties. When I was a teenager, I was scared of some "magic powers". xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Before you buy. bloob and the greatest of these is love
Response:
Some years of my life, I hated men.
as you should…. …kidding….:) Some years I hated senior citizens. That strikes me as bizarre for some reason – Often, I hated particular people. These hatreds caused me to make lots and lots of enemies.
well…hatred isn’t an action it’s a feeling, right? acting on feelings of hatred is something you can control. Hatred is a good enemizer…hatred is the enemizer bunny. it just keeps going and going and going…. jean.
Response:
Hi Daria, Thank you for sharing a little about yourself. I hope that you will find this to be a place of healing. My own background is quite similar to yours. My parents also set very high academic goals and punished small mistakes very severely, though they were a little more tolerant than yours. — ht — And if life is just a highway — then the soul is just a car, And objects in the rearview mirror may appear closer than they are.
Response:
Dear Magic Powers: Have you ever thought about some integrative body psychotherapy to heal up the ptsd issues locked into the body ? sumbuddie – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – I am now 34. I had a very strange childhood, which caused me a lot of scars, and transformed me completely. I do not have any brothers or sisters. My mother is 66, and my father is 87. Although, unlike many American children, I was never sexually abused, my childhood was not a happy one. Both of my parents expected academic perfection on my part. I was quite unable to achive that They made me study 12 hours a day. For some strange reason (some phobia?), now I can’t work three hours a day. Recently, I was working less then one hour a day. Naturally, I have to live with my parents. My mother used to whip me with a belt about 1-2 times a month. These beatings were VERY VERY painful. My father used to beat me 3-4 times a month, but not nearly as severe. By far the MOST painful abuse I suffered was my father’s mental abuse. One thing, I can remember very well, was the fact, that he used to punish me whenever I got a "B" in my 3-rd, 4-th, and 5-th grades. In 1977, when I was 12, the physical abuse stopped. Over the next 10 years, the emotional abuse has decreased almost to zero. For a very long time after 1977, I felt TERRIBLY guilty, whenever I did anything to displease my parents. Nevertheless, my rebellious spirit told me exactly to make them angry. That caused me TERRIBLE amounts of mental pain. Naturally, this amount of strain cauased me to feel severe depression, and anxiety. From the time I was 18, I started getting in troube with the law, but I was never imprisoned. Before I was 28, I had several boyfriends. Somehow, I projected a lot of my anger toward my father onto them. I did hit them at times, and for that reason I had two talks with police officers, but they did not have any injuries. Most of my conversations with police were about marijuana, which I have stopped using, when I was 28. When I was 30, I also stopped smoking tobacoo, and picked up a hobby of writing horror stories. At 32, after I dropped all my bad habits, I became a Catholic. My depression also caused me to be posessed by hatred (before I was 32). I hated nearly every teacher, I had at school. Some years of my life, I hated men. Some years I hated senior citizens. Often, I hated particular people. These hatreds caused me to make lots and lots of enemies. I also used to have a lot of anxieties. When I was a teenager, I was scared of some "magic powers". Before you buy.
Response:
I am now 34. I had a very strange childhood, which caused me a lot of scars, and transformed me completely. I do not have any brothers or sisters. My mother is 66, and my father is 87. Although, unlike many American children, I was never sexually abused, my childhood was not a happy one. Both of my parents expected academic perfection on my part. I was quite unable to achive that They made me study 12 hours a day. For some strange reason (some phobia?), now I can’t work three hours a day. Recently, I was working less then one hour a day. Naturally, I have to live with my parents. My mother used to whip me with a belt about 1-2 times a month. These beatings were VERY VERY painful. My father used to beat me 3-4 times a month, but not nearly as severe. By far the MOST painful abuse I suffered was my father’s mental abuse. One thing, I can remember very well, was the fact, that he used to punish me whenever I got a "B" in my 3-rd, 4-th, and 5-th grades. In 1977, when I was 12, the physical abuse stopped. Over the next 10 years, the emotional abuse has decreased almost to zero. For a very long time after 1977, I felt TERRIBLY guilty, whenever I did anything to displease my parents. Nevertheless, my rebellious spirit told me exactly to make them angry. That caused me TERRIBLE amounts of mental pain. Naturally, this amount of strain cauased me to feel severe depression, and anxiety. From the time I was 18, I started getting in troube with the law, but I was never imprisoned. Before I was 28, I had several boyfriends. Somehow, I projected a lot of my anger toward my father onto them. I did hit them at times, and for that reason I had two talks with police officers, but they did not have any injuries. Most of my conversations with police were about marijuana, which I have stopped using, when I was 28. When I was 30, I also stopped smoking tobacoo, and picked up a hobby of writing horror stories. At 32, after I dropped all my bad habits, I became a Catholic. My depression also caused me to be posessed by hatred (before I was 32). I hated nearly every teacher, I had at school. Some years of my life, I hated men. Some years I hated senior citizens. Often, I hated particular people. These hatreds caused me to make lots and lots of enemies. I also used to have a lot of anxieties. When I was a teenager, I was scared of some "magic powers". Before you buy.
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