Question:
Hello, Well i’ve been troubled by this problem since my husband died, I’ve told this to my Therapist and family memners but no one has said, "yeah thats happened to me before" So i thought i’d ask you guys and see if it has to do with PTSD. Wehn i lay down in my bed at night, the room is dark, with a little light coming in thru the blinds. I lay there with my eyes closed and all of a sudden i get a sudden feeling, almost like a rush coming over me that i am very small in my bed. Then the thoughts of what if i need someone or help i cannot get it or them because i am so small come fleeting in. Like i am the size of a grain of rice in my big queen size bed. This troubles me for some reason and on some level. I mean all i need to do is open my eyes to see that i am not small, and even without opening my eyes i KNOW that i am not small. This used to freak me out when it happened, and at times it still does. When it would happen i would open my eyes freaked out and stay awake all night and not go to bed til i was so exhausted that the feeling of small didnt have time to take hold. But then i decided to keep my eyes closed and feel what ever feelings would come to me. The feeling i got was a "familiar" feeling. A feeling like i know i have felt that before and would try and try to figure out when and where i ahd felt it, but i have never figured it out as of yet. Now when that happens to me, to keep myself from 1) freaking out and 2) laying awake trying to figure out when and where i had felt that feeling before was, now i just go with it. I tell myself "so you are small and the size of a grain of rice, just look at all the room you’ll have to stretch out and get comfy in" and that allows me to go to sleep without fear of thinking. First thing i thought of was that something traumatic must’ve happened to me when i was a small and helpless child, but nothing traumatic has happened to me as a child. I grew up in a very normal loving functional family. I’ve asked my parents if they could remember anything happening to me, like did i ever almost choke to death, cause thats the kind of feeling i get when i feel small, and they have told me no, not that they can remember, nothing stands out in there minds. Have any of you ever felt anything like this before? If so do you know what causes or caused yours? Is this part of PTSD? Am i going crazy? Should i keep trying to figure out when and where i felt that feeling before? Or am i better off doing what i have been doing which is saying "ok so im small" and going to sleep? Can anyone shed ANY light on this? I’d love to even ehar peoples personal theories on it if you have them Thanks guys Sherry PS. I dont know what made me think of this right now, but perhaps the fact that i am getting ready to head to bed. Oh and 1 more thing, this feeling doesnt happen nightly, and i havent seen any sort of pattern to it.
Response:
Did you had a diagnosis of PTSD? Are you sure the feeling you are relating is not in fact a nightmare that repeat every day… I know of two people with pstd that dreamed that they are paralazed in bed, while people are coming inside their house…. Sherry a
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