Question:
Lotta stuff going on here in our chaotic zoo. An appeal regarding private Long-Term Disability coverage has been submitted, with excellent documentation rebutting the insurance company’s assertion than we are ineligible because of a pre-existing condition. Nope – according to their rules, it’s not applicable in my case. My (now "former") t’pist supplied detailed current information detailing my disability. I also got in touch with my former employer, in the hopes perhaps they can help facilitate an expedited (and favorable!) decision. If the LTD coverage is approved, I’ll be eligible for benefits retroactive to January 8th of this year. Going forward, the LTD will pay for the ~difference~ between Social Security Disability and a figure of 60% of my pre-disability earnings. Calculating the 60% gives me a monthly income of $1900. Social Security Disability will pay ~about~ $1100 a month, when it finally gets approved! (grrrr…. growling about yet another thing to do appeals on…..) Anyway, the private LTD coverage will pay a net monthly payout of $800, which is the difference between $1900 and $1100. Although that’s not much, it’s enough to pay the rent and get some food. That will help me get through the next several months, while I do the appeal process with Social Security. Trying to breathe, trying to trust that things happen for a reason. It’s been tough of late, because we’ve had to do so much "linear" stuff, which is really hard. But it’s necessary for long-term survival, so therefore worth doing. But now I want to just kick back for a few days and just relax a bit. Got a couple of good novels I want to read, and I’d like to do some yoga too. Anyway, just needed to vent a little about the goings-on. Sending a big "hiya" to everyone here at ASD. ;) Joanne & Elizabeth of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe
Response:
just a careful warning concernin chickens eggs counting and laid. take care C. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Lotta stuff going on here in our chaotic zoo. An appeal regarding private Long-Term Disability coverage has been submitted, with excellent documentation rebutting the insurance company’s assertion than we are ineligible because of a pre-existing condition. Nope – according to their rules, it’s not applicable in my case. My (now "former") t’pist supplied detailed current information detailing my disability. I also got in touch with my former employer, in the hopes perhaps they can help facilitate an expedited (and favorable!) decision. If the LTD coverage is approved, I’ll be eligible for benefits retroactive to January 8th of this year. Going forward, the LTD will pay for the ~difference~ between Social Security Disability and a figure of 60% of my pre-disability earnings. Calculating the 60% gives me a monthly income of $1900. Social Security Disability will pay ~about~ $1100 a month, when it finally gets approved! (grrrr…. growling about yet another thing to do appeals on…..) Anyway, the private LTD coverage will pay a net monthly payout of $800, which is the difference between $1900 and $1100. Although that’s not much, it’s enough to pay the rent and get some food. That will help me get through the next several months, while I do the appeal process with Social Security. Trying to breathe, trying to trust that things happen for a reason. It’s been tough of late, because we’ve had to do so much "linear" stuff, which is really hard. But it’s necessary for long-term survival, so therefore worth doing. But now I want to just kick back for a few days and just relax a bit. Got a couple of good novels I want to read, and I’d like to do some yoga too. Anyway, just needed to vent a little about the goings-on. Sending a big "hiya" to everyone here at ASD. ;) Joanne & Elizabeth of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe
Response:
Celeste, I appreciate the warning that things may not play out the way they "should." And, having said that, I need to trust this process. I have had countless confirmations from mentors, my t’pist, my partner, my friends, etc., that I’m doing the right thing for ~me~. Last year, when I first applied for short-term disability (STD) through my former employer, I got turned down at least twice, and had to supply a bunch more documentation. Ultimately, I prevailed. I received STD coverage for six months, less the waiting period. Kemper (the insurance company) doesn’t contest the fact that I’m disabled; they just used the pre-existing clause to deny LTD coverage. Kemper’s reasoning in denying my initial LTD coverage was that since I had been treated for major depression in the 12 months prior to becoming covered under their plan, my disability would not be covered. Depression is certainly part of my current disability, but it was ~not~ part of the initial disability diagnosis. Rather, my disability is caused by dissociation, PTSD, and acute anxiety. Only later (like 45 days after my date-of-disability) did depression become evident. So, my disability actually ~caused~ my depression to be exacerbated, rather than the other way around. Thankfully, the documentation I got from my doc shows clearly that the pre-existing condition clause does not apply. I have supplied Kemper with copies of my doctor’s notes from office visits last year, specifically the period from July to September, in which my disability is documented as dissociation, PTSD and acute anxiety. Depression isn’t ~mentioned~ by my doc until December of 2002, though I did see a psych in September of 2002 for meds management, and we did deal with my depression at that point. I have finally come to a place where I feel strong enough to stand in my truth, and say, "Doggone it, I won’t be walked on any more!" I have spent most of my life (since age 4 or 5) taking care of others in my life. It started with my alc*h*lic m*ther, and the rest (as they say) is history. I got out of an emotionally ab*sive marriage, so I was able to stop taking care of my ex (who remains a mean little snot, emotionally). I have two biological children, a daughter age 19, and a son age 13. I am there for them, as best I can given my disabilities. Even when I can’t remember stuff, I always love and accept them for who they are. And I will ~always~ make time for them. But I also need to take care of ~myself~ for a change. Thanks again for the reality check. Joanne – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -"Celeste" wrote… just a careful warning concernin chickens eggs counting and laid. take care C. wrote Trying to breathe, trying to trust that things happen for a reason. It’s been tough of late, because we’ve had to do so much "linear" stuff, which is really hard. But it’s necessary for long-term survival, so therefore worth doing. But now I want to just kick back for a few days and just relax a bit. Got a couple of good novels I want to read, and I’d like to do some yoga too. Anyway, just needed to vent a little about the goings-on. Sending a big "hiya" to everyone here at ASD. ;) Joanne & Elizabeth of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe
Response:
your welcome, n congrats to you for refusin to be walked over. thats a big breakthru, and one not many manage. its a big part of my ethos, n im glad your gonna fight for what you rightly deserve. best o luck. Celeste. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Celeste, I appreciate the warning that things may not play out the way they "should." And, having said that, I need to trust this process. I have had countless confirmations from mentors, my t’pist, my partner, my friends, etc., that I’m doing the right thing for ~me~. Last year, when I first applied for short-term disability (STD) through my former employer, I got turned down at least twice, and had to supply a bunch more documentation. Ultimately, I prevailed. I received STD coverage for six months, less the waiting period. Kemper (the insurance company) doesn’t contest the fact that I’m disabled; they just used the pre-existing clause to deny LTD coverage. Kemper’s reasoning in denying my initial LTD coverage was that since I had been treated for major depression in the 12 months prior to becoming covered under their plan, my disability would not be covered. Depression is certainly part of my current disability, but it was ~not~ part of the initial disability diagnosis. Rather, my disability is caused by dissociation, PTSD, and acute anxiety. Only later (like 45 days after my date-of-disability) did depression become evident. So, my disability actually ~caused~ my depression to be exacerbated, rather than the other way around. Thankfully, the documentation I got from my doc shows clearly that the pre-existing condition clause does not apply. I have supplied Kemper with copies of my doctor’s notes from office visits last year, specifically the period from July to September, in which my disability is documented as dissociation, PTSD and acute anxiety. Depression isn’t ~mentioned~ by my doc until December of 2002, though I did see a psych in September of 2002 for meds management, and we did deal with my depression at that point. I have finally come to a place where I feel strong enough to stand in my truth, and say, "Doggone it, I won’t be walked on any more!" I have spent most of my life (since age 4 or 5) taking care of others in my life. It started with my alc*h*lic m*ther, and the rest (as they say) is history. I got out of an emotionally ab*sive marriage, so I was able to stop taking care of my ex (who remains a mean little snot, emotionally). I have two biological children, a daughter age 19, and a son age 13. I am there for them, as best I can given my disabilities. Even when I can’t remember stuff, I always love and accept them for who they are. And I will ~always~ make time for them. But I also need to take care of ~myself~ for a change. Thanks again for the reality check. Joanne "Celeste" wrote… just a careful warning concernin chickens eggs counting and laid. take care C. wrote Trying to breathe, trying to trust that things happen for a reason. It’s been tough of late, because we’ve had to do so much "linear" stuff, which is really hard. But it’s necessary for long-term survival, so therefore worth doing. But now I want to just kick back for a few days and just relax a bit. Got a couple of good novels I want to read, and I’d like to do some yoga too. Anyway, just needed to vent a little about the goings-on. Sending a big "hiya" to everyone here at ASD. ;) Joanne & Elizabeth of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe
Response:
Hello VG/LW, Perhaps the way for them to *get* that linear processes are difficult is to ask for help with filling out the paperwork? Just a thought. SofT
Response:
sounds like promising stuff in the works. i know how tough the bureaucracies can be to wade through. *fond thoughts* jt "Virtual Goddess / Laughing Wolf"
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Lotta stuff going on here in our chaotic zoo. An appeal regarding private Long-Term Disability coverage has been submitted, with excellent documentation rebutting the insurance company’s assertion than we are ineligible because of a pre-existing condition. Nope – according to their rules, it’s not applicable in my case. My (now "former") t’pist supplied detailed current information detailing my disability. I also got in touch with my former employer, in the hopes perhaps they can help facilitate an expedited (and favorable!) decision. If the LTD coverage is approved, I’ll be eligible for
benefits retroactive – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – to January 8th of this year. Going forward, the LTD will pay for the ~difference~ between Social Security Disability and a figure of 60% of my pre-disability earnings. Calculating the 60% gives me a monthly income of $1900. Social Security Disability will pay ~about~ $1100 a month, when it finally gets approved! (grrrr…. growling about yet another thing to do appeals on…..) Anyway, the private LTD coverage will pay a net monthly payout of $800, which is the difference between $1900 and $1100. Although that’s not much, it’s enough to pay the rent and get some food. That will help me get through the next several months, while I do the appeal process with Social Security. Trying to breathe, trying to trust that things happen for a reason. It’s been tough of late, because we’ve had to do so much
"linear" stuff, which is – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – really hard. But it’s necessary for long-term survival, so therefore worth doing. But now I want to just kick back for a few days and just relax a bit. Got a couple of good novels I want to read, and I’d like to do some yoga too. Anyway, just needed to vent a little about the goings-on. Sending a big "hiya" to everyone here at ASD. ;) Joanne & Elizabeth of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe
Response:
Thank you, jt. I very much appreciate the fond thoughts. Yup, it’s kinda ironic. I have to do reams of paperwork, documenting how impossible it is for me to succeed with any kind of linear process – but, of course the paperwork process ~itself~ is just such an endeavor. (shaking my head…) Hope everything is going okay with you. Joanne (& the crew) VG / LW – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – sounds like promising stuff in the works. i know how tough the bureaucracies can be to wade through. *fond thoughts* jt "Virtual Goddess / Laughing Wolf" wrote… Lotta stuff going on here in our chaotic zoo.
Response:
things are going astonishingly well for me. i’m at a bit of a loss as to where to go from here with the world newly looking so different, but i’m sure the world will let me know where i’m at soon enough. i’m power-chugging sugary snacks at the moment, though. this might be a Thomas thing (he being me – the person on first. Thomas tends to refer to himself in third person. Even when i know i’m doing it, i can’t quite stop. *I* am "Jennifer", you see. ;) Thomas is a personality within Jennifer. Actually, I feel more like a caretaker for Jennifer. "The porch light’s on, and Thomas is home." My apologies. I’m likely not making sense. I’m not very troubled by that, though. :) ) <was that Thomas making a joke?? :-D *YESSS!!!* *pumps air with fist repeatedly* [well, not quite a joke, per se. "a funny", perhaps.] <we’ll take it! i’ve always known that i was not Jen, our "main" personality. i’ve always felt like someone who stepped in to help out who stayed resident to continue helping out when needed. But i don’t feel like "Jennifer", though some in this system would say that few of us feel *more* like "Jennifer". (that’s because I lived as "the real person" for a number of years.) Regardless, if I’m "on first", then I’m sort of impersonating "Jennifer". Therefore, any references to anyone other than Jennifer must be in 3rd person form, otherwise I’m giving the game away. We’ve never understood that before. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to figure that out. :) {thomas is our guardian *ng*l. :)} <yup, he sure is, punkin. why don’t you go give him a hug? {*giggles* won’t his wings get in the way?? 
*hugs Thomas*} *Thomas looks uncertain* <it’s ok, dude. just hug her back. {*whispers* you’re my brother. and you kept me safe. thanks SO MUCH!} *thomas cries for a bit* a thought occurs, Joanne et al.: you-all seem very comfortable with discussing energy phenomena. would it make sense that I – Thomas – would go through a *lot* of sugar while on first if I am our biggest consumer of energy? We know that I use energy more than the other parts. We know that I tend to function by keeping a lot of energy blocks in place (most notably in my stomach and chest). Since I’ve been out, our sugar intake has at least quintupled our average consumption. Interestingly (and perhaps most tellingly) I’m not on a "sugar high". The kids within aren’t particularly giggly, or even active (due mostly to the blocks, i imagine), and i feel my usual "sober as a judge" mentality. i’d be interested in whatever thoughts come to mind for you. and thanks for inquiring as to our welfare. Thomas, et al., for jt "Virtual Goddess / Laughing Wolf"
Thank you, jt. I very much appreciate the fond thoughts. Yup, it’s kinda ironic. I have to do reams of paperwork, documenting how impossible it is for me to succeed with any kind of linear process – but, of course the paperwork process ~itself~ is just such an endeavor.
(shaking my head…) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hope everything is going okay with you. Joanne (& the crew) VG / LW sounds like promising stuff in the works. i know how tough the bureaucracies can be to wade through. *fond thoughts* jt "Virtual Goddess / Laughing Wolf" wrote… Lotta stuff going on here in our chaotic zoo.
Response:
Hi, Thomas. Interesting subject! Hmm… Yes, I think it makes sense that increased sugar consumption would fit with a situation where the alter who is "on" does a lot of blocking of energy and memories. I know that we’ve been doing a lot more compulsive overeating, and it is virtually always refined carbohydrates and/or sugar. This behavior has developed because the littles who hold the memories/emotions of the bad stuff are closer to the surface, and so it takes more work to "numb" the body and mind. I’ve done some reading about this kind of eating, and it’s been shown that eating refined carbohydrates helps create a chemical change in the brain that is much like an endorphin rush. It quite literally numbs the pain. It doesn’t mean that compulsive overeating is healthy, but it does help explain the some of the "why" behind it. (Clarification: when I speak about compulsive overeating, I speak only for our system – not for anyone else.) The other thing to consider is that different alters can have very different physiological realities. For example, some of us in VG/LW need glasses to read, others do not. Some have really bad asthma, others have no symptoms. Some have significant arthritis pain, while others have none. And so it stands to reason that some of your parts may have a different metabolic rate – and thus the need for more fuel (sugar or otherwise). As always, YMMV (your milleage may vary). I dunno if I gave you the feedback you were looking for, but it was very interesting to consider your question. I got some illumination about my own situation, which was helpful. So, I thank you! :D Joanne & Elizabeth of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – a thought occurs, Joanne et al.: you-all seem very comfortable with discussing energy phenomena. would it make sense that I – Thomas – would go through a *lot* of sugar while on first if I am our biggest consumer of energy? We know that I use energy more than the other parts. We know that I tend to function by keeping a lot of energy blocks in place (most notably in my stomach and chest). Since I’ve been out, our sugar intake has at least quintupled our average consumption. Interestingly (and perhaps most tellingly) I’m not on a "sugar high". The kids within aren’t particularly giggly, or even active (due mostly to the blocks, i imagine), and i feel my usual "sober as a judge" mentality. i’d be interested in whatever thoughts come to mind for you. and thanks for inquiring as to our welfare. Thomas, et al., for jt
Response:
This would also fit with how the brain works when there is an adrenalin surge. Chemicals like adrenalin cause the brain to go into hyper efficient mode, among other things, and so the brain uses more energy. The only energy the brain can use (food wise) is sugar. So, you have to eat more if you are revved up. Holding stuff in, blocking, seems like it would be a stressful thing which means more adrenalin. Rainbow Colors (Jill) – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Hi, Thomas. Interesting subject! Hmm… Yes, I think it makes sense that increased sugar consumption would fit with a situation where the alter who is "on" does a lot of blocking of energy and memories. I know that we’ve been doing a lot more compulsive overeating, and it is virtually always refined carbohydrates and/or sugar. This behavior has developed because the littles who hold the memories/emotions of the bad stuff are closer to the surface, and so it takes more work to "numb" the body and mind. I’ve done some reading about this kind of eating, and it’s been shown that eating refined carbohydrates helps create a chemical change in the brain that is much like an endorphin rush. It quite literally numbs the pain. It doesn’t mean that compulsive overeating is healthy, but it does help explain the some of the "why" behind it. (Clarification: when I speak about compulsive overeating, I speak only for our system – not for anyone else.) The other thing to consider is that different alters can have very different physiological realities. For example, some of us in VG/LW need glasses to read, others do not. Some have really bad asthma, others have no symptoms. Some have significant arthritis pain, while others have none. And so it stands to reason that some of your parts may have a different metabolic rate – and thus the need for more fuel (sugar or otherwise). As always, YMMV (your milleage may vary). I dunno if I gave you the feedback you were looking for, but it was very interesting to consider your question. I got some illumination about my own situation, which was helpful. So, I thank you! :D Joanne & Elizabeth of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe a thought occurs, Joanne et al.: you-all seem very comfortable with discussing energy phenomena. would it make sense that I – Thomas – would go through a *lot* of sugar while on first if I am our biggest consumer of energy? We know that I use energy more than the other parts. We know that I tend to function by keeping a lot of energy blocks in place (most notably in my stomach and chest). Since I’ve been out, our sugar intake has at least quintupled our average consumption. Interestingly (and perhaps most tellingly) I’m not on a "sugar high". The kids within aren’t particularly giggly, or even active (due mostly to the blocks, i imagine), and i feel my usual "sober as a judge" mentality. i’d be interested in whatever thoughts come to mind for you. and thanks for inquiring as to our welfare. Thomas, et al., for jt
– The colors blend, the edges soften. Swirling and mixing we are becoming white light.
Response:
always happy to be of service… 
-T (wow. was that Thomas telling another joke?? two in one week???) we have this sorta belief that we’re not "really" multiple….that we’re multiple, but not the same as diagnosable DID ppl would be – that somehow what i have isn’t "as bad" or something (this stems in part from the reaction of my then-pdoc to my telling her that about this after we figured it out 3 years ago. her thought was that because i don’t fugue, i’m not DID, that perhaps i depersonalize enough to make it seem like i’m multiple, but really i’m just confused. (she didn’t *quite* say that, but it was a near thing. was quite a blow, lemme tell ya.)). so we have trouble with believing stuff about our different parts can be *so* different, ya know? i mean, we know that we can switch if we’re shivering cold, and not be cold anymore…and we know that we can turn pain on and off pretty easily… and some of us have "sharper" vision – but this seems more like the *focus* of our attention is more on visual input. we’re thinking about it more, so it seems like things are sharper. we also think that sometimes the difference is that the part with the "sharper" vision isn’t out much, so seeing things directly is different for visually-oriented parts of me than having to see them thru the memories of others. it sounds good, anyway. some parts of us sing better than others. Thomas’ voice resounds with rich power – he’s like a flood of rich dark chocolate when he sings. the kids singing voices are light, and the blues’ voice is our "standard" voice. This is our "professional singing voice", which isn’t the same as our "playing around" singing voices, you see. the "professional" voice is *SUPPOSED* to be the SAME for all of us: it’s kinda "stored" in one spot in our minds, and we all go there when we have to sing. I mean, we’re whomever til we stand up and move to the spot where we’re singing from…we take a moment to collect ourselves, raise our head (our signal to the accompanist), the music starts, my rib cage lifts, lower back aligns, feet separate and get planted securely, i draw in air, mind blanks except for the subroutines that always run when i sing (these are required for singing), …and by this point i’m NOT the same person I was when i stood up. I’m the "Singer". it’s just that…if Thomas was the one who stood up, the Singer’s voice is deep and rich, even soaring up to high notes. i mean, that’s not *supposed* to happen, u know? part of being a professional (imo) means delivering the same product, u know? *sigh* heh – last xmas, the m*n*strs wrote a pr*yer that had the effect of calling forth my inner b*tch, who doesn’t do ch*rch *AT ALL*. I mean, it was all "though we try to be good, we know that we have a darker side, one that glories in revenge, etc.". So, i mean, if they’re gonna practically *call my name*, of *course* i’m gonna switch in! Problem is, o h*ly n*ght was right after that pr*yer, and *I CAN’T SING*. i’ve had no *need* to. we don’t sing often in non-rlgs settings. it was an odd experience, to say the least. :) …and this is beside the fact that i don’t necessarily have much reason to *want* to help the others (at least, not then), so there was some "discussion" going on inside, too… *droll look* ahh, well – it worked out. ;) thanks for the discussion. glad you got something out of it. thomas, blues, and kitty (in that order), for jt "Virtual Goddess / Laughing Wolf"
Hi, Thomas. Interesting subject! Hmm… Yes, I think it makes sense that increased sugar consumption would fit with a situation where the alter who is "on" does a lot of blocking of energy and memories. I know that we’ve been doing a lot more compulsive overeating, and it is virtually always refined carbohydrates and/or sugar. This behavior has
developed because the – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – littles who hold the memories/emotions of the bad stuff are closer to the surface, and so it takes more work to "numb" the body and mind. I’ve done some reading about this kind of eating, and it’s been shown that eating refined carbohydrates helps create a chemical change in the brain that is much like an endorphin rush. It quite literally numbs the pain. It doesn’t mean that compulsive overeating is healthy, but it does help explain the some of the "why" behind it. (Clarification: when I speak about compulsive overeating, I speak only for our system – not for anyone else.) The other thing to consider is that different alters can have very different physiological realities. For example, some of us in VG/LW need glasses to read, others do not. Some have really bad asthma, others have no symptoms. Some have significant arthritis pain, while others have none. And so it stands to reason that some of your parts may have a different metabolic rate – and thus the need for more fuel (sugar or otherwise). As always, YMMV (your milleage may vary). I dunno if I gave you the feedback you were looking for, but it was very interesting to consider your question. I got some illumination about my own situation, which was helpful. So, I thank you! :D Joanne & Elizabeth of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe a thought occurs, Joanne et al.: you-all seem very comfortable with discussing energy phenomena. would it make sense that I – Thomas – would go through a *lot* of sugar while on first if I am our biggest consumer of energy? We know that I use energy more than the other parts. We know that I tend to function by keeping a lot of energy blocks in place (most notably in my stomach and chest). Since I’ve been out, our sugar intake has at least quintupled our average consumption. Interestingly (and perhaps most tellingly) I’m not on a "sugar high". The kids within aren’t particularly giggly, or even active (due mostly to the blocks, i imagine), and i feel my usual "sober as a judge" mentality. i’d be interested in whatever thoughts come to mind for you. and thanks for inquiring as to our welfare. Thomas, et al., for jt
Response:
heh – thomas *is* my "hyper-efficient mode". ya know, that whole "f*ght or flight" thing? he’s always ready. it’s like, we don’t call him forth unless we *need* him, u know? huh. wonder if his metabolism *is* higher than ours? we didn’t used to get so cold all the time. hey, thomas – switch in, wouldja? let’s see if we stop feeling cold. heh – yup. by the time i got done typing "let’s see" we weren’t cold anymore. wonder if this could help us lose weight? jt
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – This would also fit with how the brain works when there is an adrenalin surge. Chemicals like adrenalin cause the brain to go into hyper efficient mode, among other things, and so the brain uses more energy. The only energy the brain can use (food wise) is sugar. So, you have to eat more if you are revved up. Holding stuff in, blocking, seems like it would be a stressful thing which means more adrenalin. Rainbow Colors (Jill) In article
Virtual Goddess / Laughing Wolf Hi, Thomas. Interesting subject! Hmm… Yes, I think it makes sense that increased sugar consumption would fit with a situation where the alter who is "on" does a lot of blocking of energy and memories. I know that we’ve been doing a lot more compulsive overeating, and it is virtually always refined carbohydrates and/or sugar. This behavior has
developed because the littles who hold the memories/emotions of the bad stuff are closer to the surface, and so it takes more work to "numb" the body and mind. I’ve done some reading about this kind of eating, and
it’s been shown that eating refined carbohydrates helps create a chemical change in the brain that is much like an endorphin rush. It quite literally numbs the pain. It doesn’t mean that compulsive overeating is healthy, but
it does help explain the some of the "why" behind it. (Clarification: when I speak about compulsive overeating, I speak only for our system – not for anyone else.) The other thing to consider is that different alters can have very different physiological realities. For example, some of us in
VG/LW need glasses to read, others do not. Some have really bad asthma, others have no symptoms. Some have significant arthritis pain, while others have none. And so it stands to reason that some of your parts may have a different metabolic rate – and thus the need for more fuel (sugar or otherwise). As always, YMMV (your milleage may vary). I dunno if I gave you the feedback you were looking for, but it was very
interesting to consider your question. I got some illumination about my own
situation, which was – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – helpful. So, I thank you! :D Joanne & Elizabeth of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe a thought occurs, Joanne et al.: you-all seem very comfortable with discussing energy phenomena. would it make sense that I – Thomas – would go through a *lot* of sugar while on first if I am our biggest consumer of energy? We know that I use energy more than the other parts. We know that I tend to function by keeping a lot of energy blocks in place (most notably in my stomach and chest). Since I’ve been out, our sugar intake has at least quintupled our average consumption. Interestingly (and perhaps most tellingly) I’m not on a "sugar high". The kids within aren’t particularly giggly, or even active (due mostly to the blocks, i imagine), and i feel my usual "sober as a judge" mentality. i’d be interested in whatever thoughts come to mind for you. and thanks for inquiring as to our welfare. Thomas, et al., for jt —
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The colors blend, the edges soften. Swirling and mixing we are becoming white light.
Response:
Oh my, yes. I can attest to what you’re talking about, Jill. I’m going through another period of "always on," and I have adrenalin coursing through my body all the time. I sweat profusely, my heart is racing (and sometimes in arrythmia), I can’t concentrate, I’ll have trouble breathing — all that fun stuff. And it’s taking its toll. I can run at this level for a while, but eventually I just crash and sleep for something like 12 hours. Ironically, this has not resulted in weight loss, because the l*ttles inside are doing even more compulsive eating to "stuff" the p*in. (rolling my eyes) All I can do is take things one day at a time. Joanne (with a few comments from Elizabeth) of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – heh – thomas *is* my "hyper-efficient mode". ya know, that whole "f*ght or flight" thing? he’s always ready. it’s like, we don’t call him forth unless we *need* him, u know? huh. wonder if his metabolism *is* higher than ours? we didn’t used to get so cold all the time. hey, thomas – switch in, wouldja? let’s see if we stop feeling cold. heh – yup. by the time i got done typing "let’s see" we weren’t cold anymore. wonder if this could help us lose weight? A word of caution here. I was in hyper vigilant mode for many years. I lived on adrenalin. That was one of my ‘jobs’. It is _not_ good for the body to be like this 24/7 for years. I had lots of physical damage to the body because of this and it took quite a few years and some luck to heal it all. Rainbow Colors (Jill)
Response:
*sigh* well, when you phrase it that way… we lived like that for a lot of years, too. it’s probably a big part of how we got as big as we are. plus i’ve literally had to learn from scratch (pun) how to define injuries, since bad sprains could be termed "nothing" without too much difficulty for me. i remember your "knee" story, so i *know* you know exactly what i’m talking about. i guess i was thinking more that Thomas’ metabolism probably *is* the fastest of all of us, without him necessarily turning up the power, you know? he’s the most blatantly masculine one of us (i mean, the blues work pretty hard at seeming masculine. it’s so cute. ;) Thomas just *is*.) (i mean, because the blues work pretty hard at seeming masculine, they come off as hyper-macho jerks at times. didn’t mean that they aren’t masculine at all to begin with.), and guys metabolisms tend to be higher than womens, right? plus, thomas is who we call if we’re cold and need to not feel cold anymore. his hands are always warm, too, and we just sorta *feel* like the furnace is up higher when he’s out. i wonder how high kitty’s metabolism is…she’s the 2nd highest consumer of "energy", and i occasionally *do* use a "pilot light" metaphor for her – ie, she needs to have her damper turned down, or her wick trimmed, or something…her pilot light’s too high. i said that to bruce one time, and he said "her pilot light’s a friggin bonfire!" she purred approvingly at him, iirc. :) ok, ok, gotta go do some work. adios, amigos! jt (Glo, mostly)
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – heh – thomas *is* my "hyper-efficient mode". ya know, that whole "f*ght or flight" thing? he’s always ready. it’s like, we don’t call him forth unless we *need* him, u know? huh. wonder if his metabolism *is* higher than ours? we didn’t used to get so cold all the time. hey, thomas – switch in, wouldja? let’s see if we stop feeling cold. heh – yup. by the time i got done typing "let’s see" we weren’t cold anymore. wonder if this could help us lose weight? A word of caution here. I was in hyper vigilant mode for many years. I lived on adrenalin. That was one of my ‘jobs’. It is _not_ good for the body to be like this 24/7 for years. I had lots of physical damage to the body because of this and it took quite a few years and some luck to heal it all. Rainbow Colors (Jill) jt This would also fit with how the brain works when there is an adrenalin surge. Chemicals like adrenalin cause the brain to go into hyper efficient mode, among other things, and so the brain uses more energy. The only energy the brain can use (food wise) is sugar. So, you have to eat more if you are revved up. Holding stuff in, blocking, seems like it would be a stressful thing which means more adrenalin. Rainbow Colors (Jill) In article Virtual Goddess / Laughing Wolf Hi, Thomas. Interesting subject! Hmm… Yes, I think it makes sense that increased sugar consumption would fit with a situation where the alter who is "on" does a lot of blocking of energy and memories. I know that we’ve been doing a lot more compulsive overeating, and it is virtually always refined carbohydrates and/or sugar. This behavior has developed because the littles who hold the memories/emotions of the bad stuff are closer to the surface, and so it takes more work to "numb" the body and mind. I’ve done some reading about this kind of eating, and it’s been shown that eating refined carbohydrates helps create a chemical change in the brain that is much like an endorphin rush. It quite literally numbs the pain. It doesn’t mean that compulsive overeating is healthy, but it does help explain the some of the "why" behind it. (Clarification: when I speak about compulsive overeating, I speak only for our system – not for anyone else.) The other thing to consider is that different alters can have very different physiological realities. For example, some of us in VG/LW need glasses to read, others do not. Some have really bad asthma, others have no symptoms. Some have significant arthritis pain, while others have none. And so it stands to reason that some of your parts may have a different metabolic rate – and thus the need for more fuel (sugar or otherwise). As always, YMMV (your milleage may vary). I dunno if I gave you the feedback you were looking for, but it was very interesting to consider your question. I got some illumination about my own situation, which was helpful. So, I thank you! :D Joanne & Elizabeth of the Virtual Goddess continuum / Laughing Wolf tribe a thought occurs, Joanne et al.: you-all seem very comfortable with discussing energy phenomena. would it make sense that I – Thomas – would go through a *lot* of sugar while on first if I am our biggest consumer of energy? We know that I use energy more than the other parts. We know that I tend to function by keeping a lot of energy blocks in place (most notably in my stomach and chest). Since I’ve been out, our sugar intake has at least quintupled our average consumption. Interestingly (and perhaps most tellingly) I’m not on a "sugar high". The kids within aren’t particularly giggly, or even active (due mostly to the blocks, i imagine), and i feel my usual "sober as a judge" mentality. i’d be interested in whatever thoughts come to mind for you. and thanks for inquiring as to our welfare. Thomas, et al., for jt — The colors blend, the edges soften. Swirling and mixing we are becoming white light. —
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – The colors blend, the edges soften. Swirling and mixing we are becoming white light.
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