Question:
Does anyone else have trouble with boundaries? It would seem common to those who live with PTSD, or any mental illness, I guess, for that matter. I find that I either tell people way too much about my life, or I tell them nothing – there seems to be few gray areas. I have trouble finding the right ‘place’ for people in my life, setting limits – it is something I am trying to work on. I am out of touch with who I am, what is important to me, what my limits are…. I have yet to find my passion. I find that after having my feelings be stomped on and disallowed for so many years, I have stuffed them down so far, I do not recognize them or am even aware of them much of the time. I might know I am frustrated or angry, but don’t know why, or where it comes from. Because I don’t deal with the issue, it tends to leak out the sides, rather than being dealt with directly. In a book I was reading recently, the author suggested writing down thoughts and feelings regularly at various times throughout the day, and then writing next to it whether it is a feeling or a thought – this done as a tool for self-awareness. I haven’t done this exercise yet, has anyone else done anything similar, and what were your results? take care, Renee When the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to treat everything like a nail.
Response:
Hi I couldn’t help but to respond to your questions on boundaries— I have been diagnosed with PTSD and have been in therapy for almost a year. All I can share is what has been working for me. We are "working" through a book called"Courage to Heal" by Bass and Davis. I also have trouble with boundaries as mine were stolen at such a young age. I had no appropiate role models. I am finding out through working through the book a lot about boundaries and why I do what I do and say what I say.(for the most part) It seems for me that a lot depends on my emotional health for that day as to how I respond to others. Some days I feel as I am owning my power and it comes across in my dealings with others on that day—then other days I feel as if I am loosing it and my feelings are on the outside of me and every one who walks by pushes my buttons. I also read a lot of Melodie Beattys books on co dependancy. I do not know if it will be helpful to you but it has opened my eyes to things I needed to see in myself. The things we are currently working through in therapy goes back to my family of origin issues and I have tapped into anger and rage I never knew existed. And I understand that i have "triggers" that are unconscious and can be ’stirred up’ at any time and that in turn sets my mood. It is called the cognitive model for therapy. I am also learning that when I discharge the emotions in therapy, that much is gone and I have space for the ‘good stuff’ I am grateful for my therapist as I have been to drs. for years and finally found one who has made a difference. I hope you find your answers.
Response:
Thanks for a wonderful post! I hope to see you around here more often 
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