Question:
Hi David, I guess that I should be used to it by now, that so few people actually care what some have sacrificed so they can have all the things they think make them happy. But is still hurts. "J David Phillips" <flmf…@tampabay.rr.com> wrote in message news:7lwJ9.351995$fa.6741402@twister.tampabay.rr.com… > THE SOLDIER AWAKENED > AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE, > "SANTA DON’T CRY > THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE; > I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, > I DON’T ASK FOR MORE, > MY LIFE IS FOR MY GOD, > MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS."
While I was in the service I felt this way. I enlisted in the Army, volunteered for the Infantry and Vietnam. This was my choice and I did it out of my love for the ideals I thought my country stood for. What I didn’t ask for was how I was treated when I got home. I didn’t expect to be treated as a hero, the heroes came home in body-bags. In my wildest imagination though, I would never have thought that I would be shunned by my high school friends who didn’t have to serve or be called a baby killer. In a very real sense I’m one of the lucky ones. There are many Veterans who trust so little now that they live on the streets or hide from any contact with anyone else. I don’t think that the life they now live is of their own choice. I hope those who stand in harms way now, ready to do what their country asks of them, get a better homecoming. Thanks for the poem David, and the Marine who wrote it. Larry L
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>Bubble Bath’s. >Hot Chocolate in your special mug with a candy cane garnish. >Make a thermos and drive around aimlessly looking at light display’s. >Bob River Parodies for the CD. >Online shopping & gift certificates. >Baking cookies.
not me man. i pick the person i hate the worst and call unsolved mysteries. i give them the person’s new name and location and then sit back to watch. ho f*cking ho!! just kidding. i hate the holidays. i just keep my head down and hope that january comes quickly.
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Hi Lea, > i hate the holidays. i just keep my head down and hope that >january comes quickly.
I’m with you. Too many memories and triggers. At holiday time my goal is to just get through them — keep my head down and wait for January. Still have to work, deal with family, etc. Tonite I made a decision to ask for more meds for the next three weeks. Take care, Anne
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Hi Anne, ‘Scuse me for buttin’ in, but I made the same decision, upped my Effexor. Last year the holidays were the harbinger of another bout of depression, and lots of suicidal ideation. So, this year I’m on a different anti-depressant and got the meds upped and hope to weather things through till January with the rest of us! Best to you, hope it works for you. Z55 Anneks89 <annek…@aol.com> wrote in message
news:20021208233628.08289.00000237@mb-bh.aol.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> Hi Lea, > > i hate the holidays. i just keep my head down and hope that > >january comes quickly. > I’m with you. Too many memories and triggers. At holiday time my goal is to > just get through them — keep my head down and wait for January. Still have to > work, deal with family, etc. Tonite I made a decision to ask for more meds for > the next three weeks. > Take care, > Anne
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When we think it is ‘real’ bad , read the following poem, and reflect a little. The reason we are able to take the time, and have the resources to try to get better, is because someone, somewhere, has guaranteed our right to do this by putting their lives on the line for our well being. I believe a lot of times I get caught up in the ‘poor me’s’ about my life. "Poor me, I have PTSD". " Poor me, nobody understands what I’m going through". " Poor me, I have to sleep by myself because of bad nightmares". " Poor me, I have to deal with other people", ect, ect, ad nauseum. Believe me, there are people out there—- AMERICANS— that don’t even know if they will have a hot meal today, tomorrow, or even live to see the next day— FOR US! Amazing, that we still have citizens that will go in harm’s way for others that could give a shit less about them. simply amazing. They truly humble my existence as a human being, and as an American. As others have written, I do not do well with Christmas. I didn’t do well with the holiday before I had PTSD, and do even worse now. But, at least I’m alive to bitch about it:-) It will come and go without fanfare by me. I have to go to a few obligated parties between then, and now. I’m not looking forward to them, but at least there will be a few people at each of them that I do like. I don’t drink, so Jane and I will go, make our appearance, and then leave quietly. When people start drinking, after awhile, they couldn’t care less who leaves, as it leaves more booze for them. We haven’t decided what we’re going to do on the ‘big day’, but hopefully, it won’t be very much. I refuse to travel on the holidays, so I won’t be out in traffic. Might borrow my buddie’s boat, and take a trip out to the Gulf, if it is warm enough. Supposed to be in the seventies, so that may be a great thing to do 
hahahahahahahahahaha NO SNOW!!! hahahahahahahahah Anyway, read the poem, and have a great day. J. David A CHRISTMAS POEM TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, HE LIVED ALL ALONE, IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE. I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE, AND TO SEE JUST WHO IN THIS HOUSE DID LIVE. I LOOKED ALL ABOUT, A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE, NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS, NOT EVEN A TREE. NO STOCKINGS BY MANTLE, JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND, ON THE WALL HUNG PICTURES OF FAR DISTANT LANDS. WITH METALS AND BADGES, AWARDS OF ALL KINDS, A SOMBER THOUGHT CAME THROUGH MY MIND. FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT, IT WAS DARK AND DREARY, I FOUND THE HOME OF A SOLDIER, ONE I COULD SEE CLEARLY. THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING, SILENT, ALONE, CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME. THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE, THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER, NOT HOW I PICTURED A UNITED STATES SOLDIER. WAS THIS HERO OF WHOM I’D JUST READ? CURLED UP ON A PONCHO, THE FLOOR FOR A BED? I REALIZED THE FAMILIES THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT, OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT. SOON ROUND THE WORLD, THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY, AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY. THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR, BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS, LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE. I COULDN’T HELP WONDER HOW MANY LAY ALONE, ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME. THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT A TEAR TO MY EYE, I DROPPED TO MY KNEES AND STARTED TO CRY. THE SOLDIER AWAKENED AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE, "SANTA DON’T CRY THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE; I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM, I DON’T ASK FOR MORE, MY LIFE IS FOR MY GOD, MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS." THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER AND DRIFTED TO SLEEP, I COULDN’T CONTROL IT, I CONTINUED TO WEEP. I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS, SO SILENT AND STILL AND WE BOTH SHIVERED FROM THE COLD NIGHT’S CHILL. I DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT, THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR SO WILLING TO FIGHT. THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER, WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,WHISPERED,"CARRY ON SANTA, IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE." ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH, AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT. "MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT." This poem was written by a Marine stationed in Okinawa, Japan.
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On Wed, 11 Dec 2002 01:15:47 GMT, "J David Phillips" <flmf…@tampabay.rr.com> wrote: > When we think it is ‘real’ bad , read the following poem, and reflect a >little. The reason we are able to take the time, and have the resources to >try to get better, is because someone, somewhere, has guaranteed our right >to do this by putting their lives on the line for our well being. >Amazing, that we still have citizens that will go in harm’s way for others >that could give a shit less about them. simply amazing.
I try to remember our military personnel as often as I can and I also give respect and honor to firemen and police officers – not just since the attack on America but long before that. I quit watching any sports because of the baseball strikes and also because how the football players say "I risk my life every time I set foot on the playing field." People viewed ‘players’ as heroes and viewed police as scum – yet it is the firemen and police who risk their lives every day and hour for the good of people. I’m still apalled at how some people won’t even give way to ambulances, fire trucks and police cars with lights and sirens sounding. Maybe one day they will delay the vehicle that was going to save their loved one but then ‘they won’t take responsibility’ just blame the firemen, the ambulance people or ‘the cops’ for not being there in time. > hahahahahahahahahaha NO SNOW!!! >hahahahahahahahah
Wouldn’t know how to act at Christmas without snow (discounting the Christmas in Vietnam). >J. David
Thanks J. for the poem. Pete
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Thank you so much for posting the link for that. I cried when I read it though–you were right about that. kat "Pete" <coinshoo…@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:1f87vu8f696v7obgtgt38g8qbqi5k23855@4ax.com… – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -> The story of the Christmas Rifle > http://www.cowboytales.com/xmas_rifle.shtml > Hope you find it good reading. > Pete
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"Pete" <coinshoo…@attbi.com> wrote in message
news:1f87vu8f696v7obgtgt38g8qbqi5k23855@4ax.com… > The story of the Christmas Rifle > http://www.cowboytales.com/xmas_rifle.shtml > Hope you find it good reading. > Pete
<sniff> <wiping tears from his eyes>
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On Sun, 8 Dec 2002 15:11:07 -0500, "Larry Hoover" <larryhoo…@sympatico.ca> wrote: >"Pete" <coinshoo…@attbi.com> wrote in message >news:1f87vu8f696v7obgtgt38g8qbqi5k23855@4ax.com… >> The story of the Christmas Rifle >> http://www.cowboytales.com/xmas_rifle.shtml >> Hope you find it good reading. >> Pete ><sniff> <wiping tears from his eyes>
I also have a hard time reading that story – worse if I try to read it aloud to someone else. This is one of those times to let the tears roll down the cheeks. A cleansing of sorts. Pete
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You are not alone Peeks. Holidays have been the lowest point for me for a long time. This year I have decided to not to participate in any family get-together for the foreseeable future. If this is a good choice or bad one only the future will tell, but I have to go with what I feel is in my best interests now. If members of my family call me and want to know why I will tell them as best I can. I intend not to "sugar coat" it. I will not spend time with people who won’t or can’t accept me for who I am now if I have a choice. I will not pretend to be someone else just to not spoil their "happy time". I have pretended for all the years I can and the pretending has hurt me more than I can explain. My nephews and niece will be the hardest if they choose to call me. For the most part they have only seen my pretend self. If we are to have a relationship in the future they will have to see and accept the "me" when I am not pretending to be someone else. As to the giving and getting, I feel the same. I am not sure how I will handle this situation this year. I will feel guilty, no matter what I decide to do. Heck, I feel that way already! I will get through it, but that’s the only thing I know for sure. Hang in there, Larry L "
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