Question:
i have the same bad habit and for the same reasons. i’ve found when i just can’t get rid of them myself, i give them to my therapist
This is what i have done several times. Just brought in a big bag, and dumped all the bottles out on the desk. It wasn’t easy. But Lea has done it, i have done it, Kevin, please consider giving up the control here. You are not in a position to really be able to handle a large supply of meds. i am saying this because i do care. Blue
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i have the same bad habit and for the same reasons. i’ve found when i just can’t get rid of them myself, i give them to my therapist with the understanding that i can get them back when i want them (i think she would give them back-i just never ask) =)
Geeze, I never realized I have much more Klonopin then I need… wonder why… Interesting.. I’ve never abused it, and I’m not sure I would, but having more makes me feel better. Geeze. Lor
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Is Klonopin similar to valium? I’m on valium 10 mg 3 x. I have terrible nightmares sometimes, wonder if klonopin would be a good replacement for the valium or would I have withdraw from the valium? Im sure I would go through withdraw when/if I stop taking the valium and that is why I havn’t tried to stop taking it. Isnt meds like this for short term use? I have been on valium for 1 1/2 years and the thought of withdraw is scary to me. Thought id ask you before talking to doc Dupre about it. Jackie
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i have the same bad habit and for the same reasons. i’ve found when i just can’t get rid of them myself, i give them to my therapist with the understanding that i can get them back when i want them (i think she would give them back-i just never ask) =)
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My mom was on ativan. She was a long term ativan user (thanks to a doc). She ended up as inpatient to get off of it. It was quite scary. maybe short term use is ok but that stuff is very addictive. Jackie
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Hi, Kevin, When I read this, I had the same thoughts, and was going to e-mail you, but hadn’t yet. I WOULD suggest giving them to Sheryl or somebody who WILL make you throw them out or do it themselves. Now is a time when you should be taking care of yourself, not have a stockpile of potentially lethal meds, considering your history and the current stress you’re under. *Do*, at least, bring it up to the depression support group. Think of it this way – anybody who cares about you would want you to get rid of those meds. Because they care. I don’t mean to lecture, but the whole thing worries me. Jodie
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Yeah…fun stuff…dealing with this.
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A problem I have is that I stockpile meds. I am doing this now with klonopin, to have it "just in case" (not knowing what the "case" would be). Kevin, i have been known to do this as well, but simply as a "back up plan." You know, when all else fails, i have such a large supply of meds that i can’t go wrong with the plan. Thank God i don’t do this anymore. It was too tempting. And with your od history, you might want to reevaluate why you stockpile those meds. Is it really insurance, or do you just tell yourelf that in order to rationalize what you’re doing? i care, blue
Hi Blue, the backup plan is part of it too, something I guess I didn’t even want to admit to myself. There are a lot of barriers to doing the backup plan now — I have more support, and I don’t want to hurt others. Plus there’s hope for me too even though I’m tired of struggling. Thank you for caring enough to point out the dangers. I appreciate that you can see through my denial-blind-spots. I need to do something about the meds, but I don’t know what. I can’t give them to Sheryl, or she’d probably ask me to throw them out. I will try to think of something — maybe throwing them out will be the answer. Also, I’ll bring this up as a topic at the next depression support group meeting this coming Wednesday. The people there may have some ideas, but I think bottom line is that they’d suggest taking the meds as prescribed and not having more than a few weeks extra in case of an emergency. With my job situation and other things, I think deep down inside I want to have an extra sense of "security" as an option just in case. I am better off letting go of this I know. Kevin
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A problem I have is that I stockpile meds. I am doing this now with klonopin, to have it "just in case" (not knowing what the "case" would be). This is like protecting my supply. For some reason I have the desire to have a lot of trazodone and klonopin built up. Not good… a lot of it is fear-based… I don’t trust the HMO’s and I want to have a supply in case the HMO changes meds. (they did that with prilosec — prevacid — aciphex, and other HMOs have done it with antidepressants). Obviously I have some things to work on. Maybe I should get a safe deposit box and put my extra meds in there. Ack.
Kevin, I had a problem with stockpiling meds and the temptation to OD fairly recently on my sleeping meds and anti-anxiety meds. My solution was to give my meds to a v good friend and neighbour and have him dole them out to me in small (weekly) doses — ‘rie ‘Remember, she said, the rule of ambition and achievement is that the quality of the journey will always, always exceed that of the arrival. So some of us will be perpetually travelling.’ ^ ^ o o o < " – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Kevin
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me too along with seroquel. tried beta blockers for that old adrenaline surge but it dropped my blood pressure so much i couldn’t stand up.
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please be careful argh . ativan is highly addictive I take Xanax as needed…never have become addicted. Most people wont become addicted if they take it as prescribed.
And I take Klonipin on a regular basis. I’ve taken it for years and am not secretly taking more or anything. The only thing I know about these meds is you *must* come off them slowly. Lori
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Lea, Klonopin has been a life saver for me. i also take it at night for nightmares. My PTSD and insomnia are so bad that i would probably never get any shuteye without klonopin. blue
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A problem I have is that I stockpile meds. I am doing this now with klonopin, to have it "just in case" (not knowing what the "case" would be).
Kevin, i have been known to do this as well, but simply as a "back up plan." You know, when all else fails, i have such a large supply of meds that i can’t go wrong with the plan. Thank God i don’t do this anymore. It was too tempting. And with your od history, you might want to reevaluate why you stockpile those meds. Is it really insurance, or do you just tell yourelf that in order to rationalize what you’re doing? i care, blue
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A problem I have is that I stockpile meds. I am doing this now with klonopin, to have it "just in case" (not knowing what the "case" would be). This is like protecting my supply. For some reason I have the desire to have a lot of trazodone and klonopin built up. Not good… a lot of it is fear-based… I don’t trust the HMO’s and I want to have a supply in case the HMO changes meds. (they did that with prilosec — prevacid — aciphex, and other HMOs have done it with antidepressants).
I do this too Kevin, because I dont trust my insurance. Also, because I could be without insurance at any time….I am being reviewed again, and last time that happened, there was a lapse in my coverage, so I went without meds. Luckily, I try to stockpile as much as I can, but with the things I take daily that’s hard. Nikki "… lost in the darkness of my own circumstance, criticizing echoes leaving me awake in the night… the barrier and blockades that keep me safe and in control while I pretend that I am okay… "
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please be careful argh . ativan is highly addictive
I take Xanax as needed…never have become addicted. Most people wont become addicted if they take it as prescribed. Nikki "… lost in the darkness of my own circumstance, criticizing echoes leaving me awake in the night… the barrier and blockades that keep me safe and in control while I pretend that I am okay… "
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i take klonopin now which is the same family but doesn’t pack the whallop ativan did for me.
I take klonopin too, very carefully though. A long time ago I took Xanax (in the same family as Klonopin and Ativan), and going off it was pure hell. A search on the web revealed many people having major problems going off klonopin (they seem to have been on it a long time though). Just use the words "Klonopin Withdrawal" in a web search and it brings up a lot. I want my use of Klonopin to be when I know I am going to be under a lot of stress or pressure — maybe before a large staff meeting for example, in which I have to explain what I’m working on. It relaxes me, and keeps my vital statistics (heart beat, breathing) at a manageable level. The danger for me is that if I had Ativan, or even with Klonopin, I can love what it does to me… love the feeling of relaxation, calmness, how I can feel so much more at ease. Remembering my Xanax experience, and knowing that if I abuse Klonopin then I won’t be able to use it for its intended purpose has kept me from abusing it. Also, if I abused Klonopin I’d consider it a "relapse" in the alcohol / drug family, and bottom line is that I can’t afford those kinds of relapses. A problem I have is that I stockpile meds. I am doing this now with klonopin, to have it "just in case" (not knowing what the "case" would be). This is like protecting my supply. For some reason I have the desire to have a lot of trazodone and klonopin built up. Not good… a lot of it is fear-based… I don’t trust the HMO’s and I want to have a supply in case the HMO changes meds. (they did that with prilosec — prevacid — aciphex, and other HMOs have done it with antidepressants). Obviously I have some things to work on. Maybe I should get a safe deposit box and put my extra meds in there. Ack. Kevin
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i’ve done this before and haven’t found it helpful for me but i know it is something that a lot of people have found helpful. i found that even at a low dose-i went to sleep during the meals so yeah, no stress b/c i never got a chance to eat. i also noticed that after trying it that i felt like my thought processes were a lot slower. i’d see someone i knew and it would take me awhile to like place them and remember their name. i was mellow though =) i take klonopin now which is the same family but doesn’t pack the whallop ativan did for me. it isn’t something that would be good for right before a meal like ativan is (ativan you can stick under your tongue and let it dissolve and feel the effects almost immediately-it would take at least an hour with klonopin). i take it at night to help with nightmares mostly. it is less addictive than some of the others in that family b/c you don’t get a high off of it. it’s a much more sustained effect rather than a quick up and down. if you decide to do the ativan-i would pick a time when you would have the ability to sleep afterwards if you need to.
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Hi Arghgirl, Yes, i have done this. Now i can handle eating a lot better, but there were times when i literally became insane after eating anything at all. i do not purge, so when really desperate, would resort to anything causing myself pain. i have noticed that the times when my ed has been most severe, both physically and mentally, i could just not get a grip on the panic. i had to take ativan before eating, so that i wouldn’t do something extremely harmful to myself after eating. Then, once my brain and my body starts to get used to the eating thing again, i don’t need meds as much to keep me calm. Your anxiety sounds a bit different than mine, though, so i don’t know if anything i just wrote will help at all. blue
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thanks blue. from what you’ve said i do think it might help me. i usually don’t live through the panic to not purge but the times that i’ve done so i usually end up hurting myself in some other way. its so frustrating. great that you don’t need the ativan after a while though. i wouldn’t want to have to take it with every meal all the time. – Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Hi Arghgirl, Yes, i have done this. Now i can handle eating a lot better, but there were times when i literally became insane after eating anything at all. i do not purge, so when really desperate, would resort to anything causing myself pain. i have noticed that the times when my ed has been most severe, both physically and mentally, i could just not get a grip on the panic. i had to take ativan before eating, so that i wouldn’t do something extremely harmful to myself after eating. Then, once my brain and my body starts to get used to the eating thing again, i don’t need meds as much to keep me calm. Your anxiety sounds a bit different than mine, though, so i don’t know if anything i just wrote will help at all. blue
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Hi again, Another thing that my nutritionist has been trying with patients and that seems to be working is ativan right before meals. She suggests that if I would take a pill before meals, I would be more relaxed and less likely to purge afterwards. I can see that this might help me, as I’ve been healthy enough lately to START eating with every intention of keeping it down but once I start I freak out and need to purge. I’ve never heard of this before, however. Has anyone tried this and was it successful? Again I am worried about the tiredness and the pill impacting my ability to get work done. Any advice or sharing of similar experiences would be much appreciated. ag
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I’m getting off Klonopin right now & the rebound insomnia SUCKS!! Lynette
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And with your od history, you might want to reevaluate why you stockpile those meds. Is it really insurance, or do you just tell yourelf that in order to rationalize what you’re doing? i care, blue
Blue, Jodie, Connie, Lea, and others who have shared their suggestions and concerns, please know that I will do something with the meds. I’ll post what I do with them — within a week or so I shall have found a place, but I don’t know quite where yet. My therapist wouldn’t go for having the extra meds, and neither would my friend Sheryl (she brought the remaining stash of meds to the hospital doctors in August). I am leaning towards giving 1-2 months extra supply to one of my sponsors to keep safe, and only having the current supply on hand. If I have any left over I can throw them out, and periodically exchange the small "backup" supply that my sponsor would have with more recent prescriptions (so they don’t get out of date). Oh… yes, I think I know the perfect person — the person who leads the Depression Support Group here, and is also a sponsor. His son succeeded in killing himself, and my sponsor is well aware of my history. I’m grateful that people here approached this subject in a kind way — i.e. a wakeup call but not harsh. I guess I probably was hoping for some feedback because deep down I knew I was going down the wrong path, and wanted to break through the denial. Right now the extra meds aren’t at a dangerous level… it would take another 6 months at least for that, and by addressing this now I can prevent building up more than just a small backup supply for emergencies. So, when I’ve turned over the meds, I’ll post about it. I know I don’t have to, but it’s helpful for me to do that to help me be accountable to myself. Thanks again, Kevin
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Kevin, please consider giving up the control here. You are not in a position to really be able to handle a large supply of meds.
I agree completely and wholeheartedly with this — Kevin, please listen to what others are suggesting and do something with that "stash" of meds. Right now you are in a pretty vulnerable position and it really would be much safer for you to turn over the meds to someone else or flush them away. DON’T hoard them, DON’T continue to stockpile, DON’T have them around, period. –Connie — "Starving the flesh wastes the spirit." –Kandis Elliot
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Jackie, Please talk to your doctor. Valium is one of the most dangerous drugs to come off of. i personally think Klonopin would be a better choice for you, but i am not a doc and everybody needs something different. Blue
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