Question:
I too have done the letter writing thing, for family and in the context of romantic relationships; I have suggested it to others who found it really helpful for all sorts of anger. Keeping ajournal is a grea help too. For me, writing anything down just makes it so much easier to deal with. It seems to lose a lot of its "monster qualities" that way. Oh yeah – hee – and on the family thing: LOL – I always just laugh myself silly at those commercials that say: "COME ON DOWN!!! We’ll treat ya like family!!" I’m always like, uh…no FUCKING thanks! LOL Love, Parker P.S. {{{{Hugs}}}} My sisters in Potty-Mouthedness ; )
<"…then I had to be reminded of the time my son was 6 and broke his arm, we live in this dinky little town where they don’t even have anyone that can put a cast on…well, after I had taken him to the dr. here they sent me out of town to a hostpital 50 miles away at night! guess what? I could’nt do it! I drove around 2 hours in town to find my mom to take us. O.K. to top this off, after we get there and they put a cast on him , its late at night and we start home and I go into a serios panic attack! My mom ends up, having to turn around, go find a motel room and we stayed till the next morning and then made it back….anyway they made me feel like shit yesterday…" <"I know w/ my "family", whom I’ve chosen to break away from, I would always feel about 2 " tall & like some kind of freak; seemed I couldn’t have one encounter w/ them without some snide remark (at least). "
<"Sometimes I do do that corny thing where I write letters to assholes, er, I mean family and friends and then keep them for a while before tearing them up and throwing them out. You can just reread them a few times, see how much SENSE you make and it helps you to realize how un-empathetic they are. some people can’t see the forest for the trees, or the woman for the big boobs, or the person for their eccentricities 
" and <"Hey – is the F word a symptom of GAD and PD and PTSD or what? (or maybe it should be GFAD, PFD, and FPTSD) HAHAHAHA! Signed your friendly neighborhood potty mouth" homepage link: http://profiles.yahoo.com/evenaive
Response:
silly at those commercials that say: "COME ON DOWN!!! We’ll treat ya like family!!" I’m always like, uh…no FUCKING thanks! LOL Love, Parker P.S. {{{{Hugs}}}} My sisters in Potty-Mouthedness ; )
HAHAHAHA! Me too!!! The only family I am close to is my mommy and my son and my baby sister.. kinda hard not to become close to your mom when your kids are the same age (and yes – we used to hate each other with a passion!!!) Know what helps me a lot with these feeling, too though? Typing it all out to people like y’all and my other only pals. Some of my online pals have become the best friends I have ever met – I just wish they were closer. (yeah I’ve met most of my ol best friends, and we never get to be together long enough!) Roo
Response:
Roo, I’ve done the letter writing too, after it was suggested by someone else in this ng. It really helped me too. I never mailed it, just wrote it, read it a couple of times and ripped it up. Debby
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – LOL well, ya know – ya don’t actually have to say it OUT LOUD ya know.. hehehehe. Sometimes I do do that corny thing where I write letters to assholes, er, I mean family and friends and then keep them for a while before tearing them up and throwing them out. You can just reread them a few times, see how much SENSE you make and it helps you to realize how un-empathetic they are. some people can’t see the forest for the trees, or the woman for the big boobs, or the person for their eccentricities — Roo.com http://www.roo.com A man who lives in a glass house should change in the basement. ((((Kelly)))) You’d think our families would be the first ones to understand, but it just isn’t that way for some reason. I was always pushed into hiding my illness so I wouldn’t embarrass anyone or let people think I had "mental problems" ! Actually it’s only been over the past few months that I’ve come out of the "closet" about my agoraphobia and anxiety. I don’t care anymore what they think, if they can’t handle it that’s their problem not mine. I like Roo’s response though I’ve never had the courage to say it myself :) I hope you are feeling better by now. Take Care, Debby O.K. see I go to my mom’s yesterday and my sister is there..they start talkin about this show, like a 911 deal, they had watched. My mom says " there was this one lady that reminded her of me, her daughter had gotten ran over and was out in the road yelling mama! mama! and the lady keeps telling the paramedics shes havin a panic attack and does’nt even go to the child, and the child’s screamin and the lady’s goin nuts! Then my sister says I’m sorry but if that was my child I would be worried about the child and not myself. Then I said well, she can’t help whats wrong with her and my sister said well, I don’t feel sorry for her! Then I had to be reminded of the time my son was 6 and broke his arm, we live in this dinky little town where they don’t even have anyone that can put a cast on…well, after I had taken him to the dr. here they sent me out of town to a hostpital 50 miles away at night! guess what? I could’nt do it! I drove around 2 hours in town to find my mom to take us. O.K. to top this off, after we get there and they put a cast on him , its late at night and we start home and I go into a serios panic attack! My mom ends up, having to turn around, go find a motel room and we stayed till the next morning and then made it back….anyway they made me feel like shit yesterday and this is gettin long so I’ll stop…thanks again and again, kelly — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Exchange ideas on practically anything ™.
Response:
LOL well, ya know – ya don’t actually have to say it OUT LOUD ya know.. hehehehe. Sometimes I do do that corny thing where I write letters to assholes, er, I mean family and friends and then keep them for a while before tearing them up and throwing them out. You can just reread them a few times, see how much SENSE you make and it helps you to realize how un-empathetic they are. some people can’t see the forest for the trees, or the woman for the big boobs, or the person for their eccentricities — Roo.com http://www.roo.com A man who lives in a glass house should change in the basement.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – ((((Kelly)))) You’d think our families would be the first ones to understand, but it just isn’t that way for some reason. I was always pushed into hiding my illness so I wouldn’t embarrass anyone or let people think I had "mental problems" ! Actually it’s only been over the past few months that I’ve come out of the "closet" about my agoraphobia and anxiety. I don’t care anymore what they think, if they can’t handle it that’s their problem not mine. I like Roo’s response though I’ve never had the courage to say it myself :) I hope you are feeling better by now. Take Care, Debby O.K. see I go to my mom’s yesterday and my sister is there..they start talkin about this show, like a 911 deal, they had watched. My mom says " there was this one lady that reminded her of me, her daughter had gotten ran over and was out in the road yelling mama! mama! and the lady keeps telling the paramedics shes havin a panic attack and does’nt even go to the child, and the child’s screamin and the lady’s goin nuts! Then my sister says I’m sorry but if that was my child I would be worried about the child and not myself. Then I said well, she can’t help whats wrong with her and my sister said well, I don’t feel sorry for her! Then I had to be reminded of the time my son was 6 and broke his arm, we live in this dinky little town where they don’t even have anyone that can put a cast on…well, after I had taken him to the dr. here they sent me out of town to a hostpital 50 miles away at night! guess what? I could’nt do it! I drove around 2 hours in town to find my mom to take us. O.K. to top this off, after we get there and they put a cast on him , its late at night and we start home and I go into a serios panic attack! My mom ends up, having to turn around, go find a motel room and we stayed till the next morning and then made it back….anyway they made me feel like shit yesterday and this is gettin long so I’ll stop…thanks again and again, kelly — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Exchange ideas on practically anything ™.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text -Kelly writes: O.K. see I go to my mom’s yesterday and my sister is there..they start talkin about this show, like a 911 deal, they had watched. My mom says " there was this one lady that reminded her of me, her daughter had gotten ran over and was out in the road yelling mama! mama! and the lady keeps telling the paramedics shes havin a panic attack and does’nt even go to the child, and the child’s screamin and the lady’s goin nuts! Then my sister says I’m sorry but if that was my child I would be worried about the child and not myself. Then I said well, she can’t help whats wrong with her and my sister said well, I don’t feel sorry for her! Then I had to be reminded of the time my son was 6 and broke his arm, we live in this dinky little town where they don’t even have anyone that can put a cast on…well, after I had taken him to the dr. here they sent me out of town to a hostpital 50 miles away at night! guess what? I could’nt do it! I drove around 2 hours in town to find my mom to take us. O.K. to top this off, after we get there and they put a cast on him , its late at night and we start home and I go into a serios panic attack! My mom ends up, having to turn around, go find a motel room and we stayed till the next morning and then made it back….anyway they made me feel like shit yesterday and this is gettin long so I’ll stop…thanks again and again, kelly —
Hi Kelly! I’m sorry your family chose to lay on the "you should feel like shit because you’re not REALLY trying, and we don’t buy your illness" trip. It really sucks to hear that crap from folks who supposedly "love" you. I know w/ my "family", whom I’ve chosen to break away from, I would always feel about 2 " tall & like some kind of freak; seemed I couldn’t have one encounter w/ them without some snide remark (at least). Now that I’ve had over a year away from them, I find I can think of ways in which to deal w/ this kind of shit that don’t get me all upset or down on myself a lot more easily. If they start in with you, you can always grab your purse (or whatever) and say, "Gotta go, forgot I was going to the library to look for that 20th anniversary edition of "Mommie Dearest" today." <VBEG or something along those lines… One rule I always tried to adhere to for myself was to have a friend "on call" or an "escape plan"…something to give me a way out of there if the shit got too deep. I found that I couldn’t beat them by continuing to try to convince them of my reality, so I devised ways to keep myself safe when I was w/ them, as much as possible. It always helps me to know I can leave any given situation…I might worry that I will "look" foolish, but f*ck them…it sure beats humiliation & abuse from them, you know??? ITA w/ the great advice you’ve already gotten…learning to say f*ck off is probably the singular most important thing I’ve done for myself!!! Good luck, and keep us posted! Truly, Char*) & the Boys ^..^<
Response:
((((Kelly)))) You’d think our families would be the first ones to understand, but it just isn’t that way for some reason. I was always pushed into hiding my illness so I wouldn’t embarrass anyone or let people think I had "mental problems" ! Actually it’s only been over the past few months that I’ve come out of the "closet" about my agoraphobia and anxiety. I don’t care anymore what they think, if they can’t handle it that’s their problem not mine. I like Roo’s response though I’ve never had the courage to say it myself :) I hope you are feeling better by now. Take Care, Debby
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – O.K. see I go to my mom’s yesterday and my sister is there..they start talkin about this show, like a 911 deal, they had watched. My mom says " there was this one lady that reminded her of me, her daughter had gotten ran over and was out in the road yelling mama! mama! and the lady keeps telling the paramedics shes havin a panic attack and does’nt even go to the child, and the child’s screamin and the lady’s goin nuts! Then my sister says I’m sorry but if that was my child I would be worried about the child and not myself. Then I said well, she can’t help whats wrong with her and my sister said well, I don’t feel sorry for her! Then I had to be reminded of the time my son was 6 and broke his arm, we live in this dinky little town where they don’t even have anyone that can put a cast on…well, after I had taken him to the dr. here they sent me out of town to a hostpital 50 miles away at night! guess what? I could’nt do it! I drove around 2 hours in town to find my mom to take us. O.K. to top this off, after we get there and they put a cast on him , its late at night and we start home and I go into a serios panic attack! My mom ends up, having to turn around, go find a motel room and we stayed till the next morning and then made it back….anyway they made me feel like shit yesterday and this is gettin long so I’ll stop…thanks again and again, kelly — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Exchange ideas on practically anything ™.
Response:
Hey – is the F word a symptom of GAD and PD and PTSD or what? (or maybe it should be GFAD, PFD, and FPTSD) HAHAHAHA! Signed your friendly neighborhood potty mouth, — Roo.com http://www.roo.com A man who lives in a glass house should change in the basement.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – Kelly writes: O.K. see I go to my mom’s yesterday and my sister is there..they start talkin about this show, like a 911 deal, they had watched. My mom says " there was this one lady that reminded her of me, her daughter had gotten ran over and was out in the road yelling mama! mama! and the lady keeps telling the paramedics shes havin a panic attack and does’nt even go to the child, and the child’s screamin and the lady’s goin nuts! Then my sister says I’m sorry but if that was my child I would be worried about the child and not myself. Then I said well, she can’t help whats wrong with her and my sister said well, I don’t feel sorry for her! Then I had to be reminded of the time my son was 6 and broke his arm, we live in this dinky little town where they don’t even have anyone that can put a cast on…well, after I had taken him to the dr. here they sent me out of town to a hostpital 50 miles away at night! guess what? I could’nt do it! I drove around 2 hours in town to find my mom to take us. O.K. to top this off, after we get there and they put a cast on him , its late at night and we start home and I go into a serios panic attack! My mom ends up, having to turn around, go find a motel room and we stayed till the next morning and then made it back….anyway they made me feel like shit yesterday and this is gettin long so I’ll stop…thanks again and again, kelly — Hi Kelly! I’m sorry your family chose to lay on the "you should feel like shit because you’re not REALLY trying, and we don’t buy your illness" trip. It really sucks to hear that crap from folks who supposedly "love" you. I know w/ my "family", whom I’ve chosen to break away from, I would always feel about 2 " tall & like some kind of freak; seemed I couldn’t have one encounter w/ them without some snide remark (at least). Now that I’ve had over a year away from them, I find I can think of ways in which to deal w/ this kind of shit that don’t get me all upset or down on myself a lot more easily. If they start in with you, you can always grab your purse (or whatever) and say, "Gotta go, forgot I was going to the library to look for that 20th anniversary edition of "Mommie Dearest" today." <VBEG or something along those lines… One rule I always tried to adhere to for myself was to have a friend "on call" or an "escape plan"…something to give me a way out of there if the shit got too deep. I found that I couldn’t beat them by continuing to try to convince them of my reality, so I devised ways to keep myself safe when I was w/ them, as much as possible. It always helps me to know I can leave any given situation…I might worry that I will "look" foolish, but f*ck them…it sure beats humiliation & abuse from them, you know??? ITA w/ the great advice you’ve already gotten…learning to say f*ck off is probably the singular most important thing I’ve done for myself!!! Good luck, and keep us posted! Truly, Char*) & the Boys ^..^<
Response:
O.K. see I go to my mom’s yesterday and my sister is there..they start talkin about this show, like a 911 deal, they had watched. My mom says " there was this one lady that reminded her of me, her daughter had gotten ran over and was out in the road yelling mama! mama! and the lady keeps telling the paramedics shes havin a panic attack and does’nt even go to the child, and the child’s screamin and the lady’s goin nuts! Then my sister says I’m sorry but if that was my child I would be worried about the child and not myself. Then I said well, she can’t help whats wrong with her and my sister said well, I don’t feel sorry for her! Then I had to be reminded of the time my son was 6 and broke his arm, we live in this dinky little town where they don’t even have anyone that can put a cast on…well, after I had taken him to the dr. here they sent me out of town to a hostpital 50 miles away at night! guess what? I could’nt do it! I drove around 2 hours in town to find my mom to take us. O.K. to top this off, after we get there and they put a cast on him , its late at night and we start home and I go into a serios panic attack! My mom ends up, having to turn around, go find a motel room and we stayed till the next morning and then made it back….anyway they made me feel like shit yesterday and this is gettin long so I’ll stop…thanks again and again, kelly — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Exchange ideas on practically anything ™.
Response:
One of my mantras… which is sometimes hard, ya really gotta drill it in… Fuck’ em all. THEY don’t know what the hell they’re talking about Kelly. YOU know that. You just have to drill it in. It helps a little bit – but every little tiny bit helps. Hey, I’ve said to my mother "fuck you you don’t know, until you know shut up" and she did. Course that’s the kind of relationship we have. But it’s true – and YOU know that I know that and EVERYONE HERE KNOWS! <<<<<<<<<hugs and kisses and neckrubs and whatever else will help you feel just a tiny bit better — Roo.com http://www.roo.com A man who lives in a glass house should change in the basement.
– Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – O.K. see I go to my mom’s yesterday and my sister is there..they start talkin about this show, like a 911 deal, they had watched. My mom says " there was this one lady that reminded her of me, her daughter had gotten ran over and was out in the road yelling mama! mama! and the lady keeps telling the paramedics shes havin a panic attack and does’nt even go to the child, and the child’s screamin and the lady’s goin nuts! Then my sister says I’m sorry but if that was my child I would be worried about the child and not myself. Then I said well, she can’t help whats wrong with her and my sister said well, I don’t feel sorry for her! Then I had to be reminded of the time my son was 6 and broke his arm, we live in this dinky little town where they don’t even have anyone that can put a cast on…well, after I had taken him to the dr. here they sent me out of town to a hostpital 50 miles away at night! guess what? I could’nt do it! I drove around 2 hours in town to find my mom to take us. O.K. to top this off, after we get there and they put a cast on him , its late at night and we start home and I go into a serios panic attack! My mom ends up, having to turn around, go find a motel room and we stayed till the next morning and then made it back….anyway they made me feel like shit yesterday and this is gettin long so I’ll stop…thanks again and again, kelly — Posted via Talkway – http://www.talkway.com Exchange ideas on practically anything ™.
Response:
- Hide quoted text — Show quoted text – O.K. see I go to my mom’s yesterday and my sister is there..they start talkin about this show, like a 911 deal, they had watched. My mom says " there was this one lady that reminded her of me, her daughter had gotten ran over and was out in the road yelling mama! mama! and the lady keeps telling the paramedics shes havin a panic attack and does’nt even go to the child, and the child’s screamin and the lady’s goin nuts! Then my sister says I’m sorry but if that was my child I would be worried about the child and not myself. Then I said well, she can’t help whats wrong with her and my sister said well, I don’t feel sorry for her! Then I had to be reminded of the time my son was 6 and broke his arm, we live in this dinky little town where they don’t even have anyone that can put a cast on…well, after I had taken him to the dr. here they sent me out of town to a hostpital 50 miles away at night! guess what? I could’nt do it! I drove around 2 hours in town to find my mom to take us. O.K. to top this off, after we get there and they put a cast on him , its late at night and we start home and I go into a serios panic attack! My mom ends up, having to turn around, go find a motel room and we stayed till the next morning and then made it back….anyway they made me feel like shit yesterday and this is gettin long so I’ll stop…thanks again and again, kelly —
Some people will never understand how hard it is for people that suffer from panic disorder. It hurts when your family mistreats you due to your illness. Well, if it were to happen to your sister, we’d have to see how she’d act. It’s different when something happens to you. It’s easy to say, "I wouldn’t have acted like that!". Even if she does fair better than you did in a crisis, it doesn’t make her a better person. Mel To email me remove "nocrap" from my email address.
If you like this post and would like to receive updates from this blog, please subscribe our feed.